The Reconnection Epiphany
by Musickat18
Summary: As children, they were best friends. After she moved away, they wrote letters. But what happens when Amy moves to Pasadena and reconnects with Sheldon after 23 years? AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: As much as I would love to say that I own any of these wonderful characters, I don't. I don't even get to keep the ones I make up. They belong to the folks who created the Big Bang Theory. If you want to pay me for this story, then too bad. Make the check out to Chuck Lorre, et. al. :) This work of fiction is meant to be a literal alternate universe, therefore there are several elements in the first half of the fic which are taken directly from the show, such as Sheldon's childhood experiments, the relationship agreement, and Dr. Plimpton's visit. These elements were the ideas of the writers of The Big Bang Theory and are used solely for the purpose of keeping the characters' histories accurate to the show, up to the point where this universe completely diverges from the canon universe. **

**Author's note: Welcome to my next fic. I came by this idea while contemplating the fact that Sheldon and Amy were both friendless as children. I wondered how life might have been different if they had at least had each other. And this is my take on it. I rated it T for later chapters. Also, this is obviously an AU fic, so, while the characters will be recognizable, they'll obviously also be a little different. Especially since the whole point is to explore how having a childhood friend could have affected their emotional connection with people, in general, and (more importantly) their emotional connection with each other. So sit back and please enjoy. :) **

**Chapter 1**

"Class, can I have your attention please?"

Sheldon ignored the teacher and continued to read his new favorite book, _A Brief History of Time_, by Stephen Hawking. He seriously doubted that anything Mrs. Mayhew had to say would be of use to him.

"Sheldon?"

He looked over the top of his book at his teacher.

"Please put down the book, which you are not supposed to be reading in the first place, and pay attention."

He blinked at his teacher, contemplating the pros and cons of continuing to defy her. Ultimately he decided he did not wish to listen to his mother and father yell at him when he brought home a note from Mrs. Mayhew, and set down his book.

"Thank you." Mrs. Mayhew cleared her throat and smiled. "Class, we have a new student today. I want you to give her a warm welcome okay?"

"Okay," the class repeated. Sheldon hated when they did that. They sounded like brainless drones.

He rolled his eyes and picked up his book to resume reading. New classmates did not interest him. All it meant was that there was another brainless individual added to the class; one who would likely insist on teasing him for not reading picture books. He sighed. He really detested the first grade.

"Come on dear, don't be shy. Class this is Amy. Please give her a nice welcome and say hello."

"Hello," the class chorused. Sheldon again rolled his eyes and continued reading.

He felt a paper ball hit his face, and looked to his left, again setting down his book. Missy was glaring at him.

"Why can't you be normal?" she hissed.

"Why can't you be smart?" he whispered back.

She stuck her tongue out at him and he, in turn, stuck his tongue out at her.

"Sheldon? Missy? Is there something you'd like to share with the whole class?"

Sheldon looked up at Mrs. Mayhew, who was looking towards him with raised eyebrows, a hand on the shoulder of the new student Amy.

"Missy was asking me why I can't be normal, and I was questioning why she can't be smart."

"Good going…" he heard Missy mutter under her breath.

"Are you two supposed to be talking during class?" Mrs. Mayhew asked.

Missy sat up and put on a pretty smile. "No, Mrs. Mayhew. I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

"Thank you Missy."

Mrs. Mayhew looked back at Sheldon. "And do you have something you wish to say as well Sheldon?"

"No." He picked his book back up.

He heard a giggle, looked over the top of his book for the source, and saw the new student Amy, with a hand over her mouth. Perfect. Just as he suspected, another idiot added to the list of classmates who laughed at him. He looked at her through narrow eyes. Mrs. Mayhew also looked at Amy, frowning for a moment, before putting her smile back on.

"Amy, I believe we need to find you a seat."

_Don't let her sit next to me,_ thought Sheldon. _There's an empty seat on the other side of the room. Put her there._

"Why don't you go sit in that seat over there?" Mrs. Mayhew pointed at the empty desk to Sheldon's right.

Sheldon sighed and watched as Amy walked towards him. She was a slight girl, with straight brown hair, held back with a single barrette, and what appeared to be green eyes behind black framed glasses. She was wearing a green cardigan over a white, button down shirt, tucked into a blue, plaid, pleated skirt, with black socks pulled up to her knees, and brown Mary Jane shoes on her feet.

As she found her seat, Amy glanced over at him. He turned his head around to the front in response, yet again picking up his book. He would never finish it if he kept getting interrupted.

"Alright class, let's continue with our math lesson…Sheldon please put the book down and pay attention. Do I need to take it away from you?"

Sheldon sighed and set the book down, looking at Mrs. Mayhew. "I already know high school algebra. Why should I have to pay attention to your explanation of how three plus two is five?"

He heard Missy groan on his left. He ignored her. It was not his fault he was so much smarter than everyone.

"Sheldon, remember the conversation your parents and I had with you just yesterday?"

Sheldon remained silent. Yes, of course he remembered the conversation. Besides the fact that it was only yesterday, he had an eidetic memory (he had looked up the technical term for "photographic memory" one day on a whim).

Yesterday, after school, his parents and Mrs. Mayhew had told him that he had to stop acting superior. Apparently his parents did not wish to move him into a higher grade at this time, despite his repeatedly begging them, and therefore he was to be subjected to the entire year in first grade. They had made him promise that he would behave himself, regardless of the fact that he had _told_ them he never misbehaved. He only ever found ways to amuse himself, such as reading books more suited to his current intelligence level, while the rest of the class, too stupid to comprehend what he was reading, spent their time listening to Mrs. Mayhew teach them how to spell…or count on their fingers…or read. Yes. The bulk of his classmates couldn't even read anything more complex than Dr. Suess. Not that Sheldon begrudged anyone reading Dr. Suess, per say. His work was fantastic, even if it was a little too easy to read.

"Sheldon?" Mrs. Mayhew's voice had a warning in it.

He sighed. "Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I remember the conversation."

Mrs. Mayhew smiled at him. "Very well. Now put away the book and pay attention."

As Sheldon put down his book and clasped his hands in front of himself on his desk, mentally preparing for a tedious morning, Mrs. Mayhew said, "Yes, Amy?"

Sheldon looked to his right, to see Amy putting her hand down.

"Mrs. Mayhew, why does Sheldon have to pay attention?"

"Well, because it's polite and he needs to learn the lesson."

"But if he really does already know high school algebra, then doesn't it make more sense for him to spend the time learning something else?"

Sheldon looked at Amy more carefully, frowning. Perhaps he was wrong about this girl. Perhaps she _wasn't_ as stupid as the rest of the class.

Sheldon looked back at Mrs. Mayhew. Her lips were thinner than normal.

She took a deep breath and smiled again, "Sheldon's parents have decided that he belongs in the first grade, and, therefore, it is his duty to actively participate in the lesson. Of course, as a teacher, I encourage him, and all of you, to learn as much as you can, but not when I am trying to teach you something different. Alright?"

Sheldon looked back at Amy, who first raised her eyebrows and then frowned, opening her mouth, presumably to speak. However, Mrs. Mayhew said, "Ok class! Let's get started!" and turned towards the blackboard.

Amy looked over at Sheldon and shrugged her shoulders.

He blinked at her. Was it possible that there was someone in the class who was capable of understanding his intelligence? Interesting indeed.

He turned back around to stare at the blackboard, and use the time to contemplate the meaning of what he had read, while Mrs. Mayhew taught first grade math to the rest of the class.

* * *

Sheldon sat against the fence, which enclosed him and his classmates within the school boundaries, while the rest of his class was off playing during recess. He did not care for physical activity, and would prefer to spend the time reading, especially if he was not to be allowed to read during class time.

He had only been reading for a couple minutes before he saw someone sit next to him out of the corner of his eye.

He pursed his lips, keeping his eyes on his book, and preparing himself to ignore whatever taunt was about to be tossed in his direction.

"Is that a good book?"

Sheldon, not immediately recognizing the voice, looked over to see the new girl, Amy, sitting cross legged next to him, a book in her own lap.

"Yes, it is…or it would be if I didn't keep getting interrupted," he said, raising his eyebrows and then turning back to his book.

"I think it's really stupid that you had to pay attention in math today."

Sheldon blinked and then looked back over at Amy. "Thank you."

She blinked at him, expressionless. "Do you really know high school algebra?"

"Yes."

She sighed. "My own math skills aren't as good. I'm only at a fifth grade level…but I prefer science anyways."

Another aspiring scientist? Sheldon set his book in his lap and turned to face Amy. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yes. I love biology. I want to be a neurobiologist one day."

Sheldon wrinkled his nose. "But that's about icky, squishy stuff. And physics is a much more fascinating subject."

Now it was Amy's turn to wrinkle her nose. "There's just too much math involved. I already _told_ you math isn't my strongest subject. I mean, how can I be a world renowned physicist if I can't even get past fifth grade math in first grade? And besides, I want to study the organ responsible for the thought processes that led to the discovery of physics."

Sheldon nodded thoughtfully. "True. There's not much hope for you, if you only know fifth grade math. I can see why you would choose to fall back on something like biology."

Amy cocked her head, looking thoughtful and then looked at Sheldon. "Do you want to be my friend?"

Sheldon thought for a moment. Amy was the first peer he had met who was even remotely close to his own intelligence level. And she hadn't made fun of him. And she had stuck up for him in class. Perhaps being her friend would be ok.

He nodded. "Ok."

Amy stuck out her hand. "I should officially introduce myself. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler."

Sheldon looked at Amy's hand and said, "And I'm Sheldon Lee Cooper…but I don't shake hands."

Amy put down her hand and shrugged. "It's just as well. I don't like touching people much anyways."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. This just might be the start of a beautiful friendship.

**A/N: Thank you very much for reading. A fair warning that I'm going to probably write this fic a little slower than my last. As much as I love writing, I don't want to feel like it's taking over my life. :) And now, remember, Reviews Appreciated. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to all readers, reviews, and those who Favorited and Story Alerted. I feel I should warn you that this chapter contains bullying. **

**Chapter 2**

"Here you go Shelly; Amy."

Sheldon's mom set down a plate of cookies on the table.

"Thanks mom," Sheldon said.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cooper," Amy said.

"You're very welcome. Can I get either of you a glass of milk to go with your cookies?"

Amy looked thoughtful for a moment. "Would you have any Yoo-hoo?"

Mary smiled. "Why, yes I do, as a matter of fact. Can I interest you both in one?"

Amy nodded and Sheldon sat up straighter. "Yes!"

Mary gave Sheldon a stern look. "Yes what?"

Sheldon slumped. "Yes, please."

Mary patted Sheldon on the head. "That's my boy. Now Sheldon, have you invited Amy to stay for dinner?"

Sheldon looked at Amy. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

Amy shrugged. "Sure. Let me just go call my mother and ask if it's ok."

Amy slid off her chair and walked into the living room to use the telephone. Missy walked in to the kitchen quickly, looking distressed.

"Mo-o-o-m! Don't invite that weirdo to dinner! It's bad enough I have to admit Shelly's my brother, but now I have to say that Amy's spending dinners at our house. It's not fair."

Sheldon glared over at Missy and opened his mouth to speak, but, before he could, Mary put her hand on her hip. "Now you just hold on a minute, Little Missy. Don't you talk about your brother like that! And Amy is a perfectly…"

Sheldon looked at his mother as she paused, wondering why she didn't finish her sentence. She appeared to be thinking. Sheldon could think of many ways to finish the sentence describing his friend. Intelligent. Loyal. Funny. Friendly.

He was getting ready to finish the sentence when Mary finally said, "…nice, little girl, and she's Sheldon's friend. And you don't get to tell me who I can and can't invite to stay for dinner. Do you understand young lady?"

Sheldon smirked at Missy, who opened her mouth to say, "But…"

"No buts. Now…luckily Amy didn't hear what you said, but I want you to apologize to Sheldon for insulting his little friend."

Sheldon was going to enjoy this. He knew better than to taunt his sister with his mother watching, but couldn't keep his lips from turning upwards as Missy, whose lips were pressed together tightly, glared at Sheldon.

"Missy…" Mary said, with a warning in her voice.

Missy looked at the floor. "I'm sorry Sheldon."

"You should be."

"Sheldon Cooper, is that what we say when someone apologizes to us?" Mary raised her eyebrows at Sheldon.

"Well, she should be!"

"Sheldon…" Mary gave Sheldon a stern look.

He sighed, capitulating under his mother's look. "No."

"And what do we say?"

He sighed again. "I forgive you," he mumbled.

George, Jr. came walking into the kitchen, covered in dirt. Sheldon supposed he had been playing football with his friends again.

"What time's dinner?" he asked.

"As soon as your father gets home," Mary replied, walking over and setting down Sheldon and Amy's Yoo-Hoos.

"That weird girl isn't staying for dinner again is she?"

"Amy's not weird!" Sheldon said, annoyed that his siblings kept calling Amy names. "You're just too stupid to appreciate her intelligence."

Missy snickered and said, "George, he just doesn't realize it because he's weird too."

Mary looked heavenward. "Lord, why do you put me through this…Missy, don't you call your brother weird. Now apologize again."

Missy looked over at Sheldon, rolled her eyes, and said "Sorry."

Sheldon smirked.

Mary turned to Sheldon, giving him a look that made him stop smirking. "Don't you be smirking when your sister is saying she's sorry…and don't be calling Georgie stupid either. Now it's your turn to apologize to Georgie."

Sheldon balked. "But mom…"

"Don't 'but mom' me, Shelly. Apologize."

Sheldon pressed his lips together, not believing an apology was needed on his part; but as his mother continued to stare at him, eyebrows raised, he gave in, sighing. "Sorry George."

And then she turned to George, saying, "And you are not to call Amy weird again, do you hear me?"

"But mom she is!" insisted George, while Missy smirked at Sheldon, who was now glaring at both of his siblings.

Amy walked into the kitchen slowly, looking at the floor. George had the decency to look uncomfortable as Amy said, "My mom said I can stay for dinner."

Mary turned to George and said "You go wash up before dinner. You're filthy. And we will continue this conversation later."

George nodded, glancing at Amy as he walked towards the bathroom. Sheldon was upset at seeing his friend sad. He was angry at George because Amy had overheard him call her weird. And he was angry at Missy for also calling Amy weird. Amy wasn't weird. Sheldon liked Amy. She was the only person his own age with whom he could carry on a decent conversation.

As Missy walked to the table to eat some cookies, Mary walked over, stooped down, and put an arm around Amy. "Now, don't you let Georgie make you feel bad. He didn't mean anything by it."

Amy looked over at Sheldon, and then back at the ground, and nodded.

Mary smiled. "Now then, do you still want that Yoo-hoo?"

Amy nodded again.

"Alright then, you go on over there and sit next to Shelly and then you two can enjoy your snack."

Amy walked over and sat down in her seat, looking down at the table.

Sheldon didn't know what to do. He was fairly certain that Amy was sad, but he didn't know what do about it. He had started working on his Kolinahr skills a couple of years ago. Perhaps if he taught Amy how to do it, she wouldn't feel sad anymore.

"Amy, have you ever watched Star Trek?"

She looked up at him. "What's Star Trek?"

"You've never heard of Star Trek?" Sheldon was incredulous.

She shook her head.

Sheldon spent the next ten minuets describing the best show ever made. He spent a lot of time on his favorite character, Mr. Spock, in particular.

"Maybe if you try using logic to control your emotions you won't be sad," he said.

Amy looked skeptical. "I don't know. It's not even real."

Sheldon was scandalized. "You don't know that!"

Amy raised her eyebrows. "Actually, I do. It's a television show, therefore it's not real…and anyways, it's not helping me feel better."

Sheldon pressed his lips together. He was torn between continuing to argue the validity of Star Trek and helping his friend feel better. He took a bite of a cookie, thinking. He supposed that if Amy wasn't happy she couldn't fully appreciate Star Trek, so perhaps he should figure out how to make her feel better before yelling at her.

The only problem was that he didn't know how to make Amy feel better…

He thought for another moment. Perhaps he could try to cheer her up with a game he had been contemplating?

"Amy, do you want to play a game?"

Amy looked up at him. "What kind of game?"

"One that only the two of us can play."

"Why can only the two of us play it?"

Sheldon smiled, "Because we're the only two smart enough to figure out the answers."

Amy smiled back. Sheldon was glad to see her smile.

"What's it called?"

"I haven't named it yet."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "Oh, so you've invented it?"

Sheldon nodded and Amy perked up. "Tell me how to play," she said.

"Ok, well, we take one thing in the world, change it, and then imagine what would be different. Then we ask a question and the other person has to answer it."

"Hmm…ok. I think I understand, but can you give me an example?"

Sheldon nodded. "Sure. This is the first one I came up with. In a world where Christmas is in September, like it should be, what does the Easter Bunny hide?"

Amy thought for a moment. "Oh I get it. Sugar Plums."

Sheldon smiled. "Correct!"

Mary set down more Yoo-hoos, shaking her head and chuckling. Sheldon looked at Mary and said, "Thank you."

He noticed Missy roll her eyes, leave the table, taking a cookie with her to go, and walk out of the kitchen. He narrowed his eyes as he watched her leave. He didn't care what Missy thought. Not about him. Not about Amy. Missy was just too stupid to understand his game.

He turned back to Amy. "Of course, that was a mostly nonsensical example, since the Easter Bunny doesn't really exist…however, there would still be a mythology surrounding the Easter Bunny, so that's why I even thought of the question."

Amy nodded. "Of course."

"Now you think of one."

"Ok…but should we maybe write these down? We could put them on flash cards."

"Excellent idea! I'll go to my room and get some." Sheldon hopped down off the chair and ran into his room. He was so happy Amy was his friend.

* * *

Sheldon and Amy spent the rest of that afternoon up until dinner making up more questions for their game. After dinner Amy said she had to go home, but that they could continue working on the game at recess the next day.

Before Amy, Sheldon had never had a friend. He had tried to make a friend in the early days of Kindergarten, but none of the other kids ever understood what he was talking about. And then, they had all started teasing him for being weird. He never understood what they meant by weird, but then he decided he didn't care because they were all stupid anyways.

And as a result, he had concluded that he didn't need friends. But now that he had one as smart as Amy, he was starting to change his stance on friendship. Perhaps, if you find the right friend, having friends wasn't a bad thing after all.

At recess the next day, Sheldon and Amy sat against the fence, like they always did now, trying to come up with a name for their game.

"What about…'What if'?"

"No…too boring…what about…'Different Facts'?"

"No…it needs to have a better ring to it…although I like that concept."

Amy snapped her fingers. "I've got it! Counter Factuals."

Sheldon cocked his head. "Counter Factuals…Coun-ter Fact-u-als." He smiled. "I like it."

Missy came walking over, frowning. "Sheldon, you're not still playing that stupid game are you?"

Amy frowned. "The game's not stupid. It's brilliant."

Missy snickered. "Says the weirdo."

Sheldon stood up. "Mom said you can't call Amy weird!"

Missy rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever…I'm sorry…In fact, I want to give you a surprise. Close your eyes."

Sheldon closed his eyes, waiting for his surprise.

"Sheldon look out!"

Sheldon opened his eyes to see his sister's fist swinging back. He ducked in time to miss the punch.

Amy stood up and said angrily, "Why did you do that Missy?"

Missy looked angrily at Amy, "Because I can. You two think you're so much smarter than everyone. Well you're not. You're just weird. I'm trying to teach him to be normal. A normal person wouldn't close their eyes, just because someone told them to. And look, you just messed it up. Like you're messing him up. How can he ever be normal with a friend like _you_?"

Sheldon saw Amy's eyes blinking quickly. He snapped his head around to Missy. "Missy, I'm telling mom on you."

Missy rolled her eyes. "If you do that, I'll tell Georgie."

Sheldon pressed his lips together. The last time Sheldon had told on Missy, she had run to George and George had shoved him down for being a tattle-tail. He hated how George and Missy ganged up on him. What had he ever done to them? It wasn't _his_ fault they were so stupid and he was so smart.

Missy smirked at him and then turned around to walk away.

Sheldon turned to Amy. "Missy's just jealous because I think you're smarter than she is."

Amy looked at him. "But I _am_ smarter than she is."

Sheldon nodded. "Of course. You're the smartest person I know, except for me of course."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "You're pretty smart, but you can't even help me dissect a grasshopper."

Sheldon lifted his chin. "I could help you if I wanted to. I just don't want to…and besides, I still know more math than you."

Amy sighed. "You're never going to let me forget that are you?"

"Of course not."

"That's ok, I'm not going to let you forget that I can dissect a bug and you can't."

Sheldon rolled his eyes and suggested they spend the last few minutes of recess thinking of more questions for their newly named game of Counter Factuals.

**A/N: Thank you for reading. Missy's punching thing was something Sheldon told Raj about in an episode. Poor Shelly. Reviews are appreciated, encouraging, and motivating. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: In response to the dislike of Missy's character portrayal, I provide you with, The Brief History of Missy - Ever since Missy and Sheldon were born, Missy has felt trapped under the shadow of her brothers. George is the obvious favorite of George Sr, being both the first born, and a boy. And Sheldon is the favorite of their mother, no matter what Mary says to the contrary, AND their Meemaw. Sheldon has always developed before Missy, so that it felt that by the time she accomplished anything, Sheldon had already beat her to it. She is both proud of and annoyed by Sheldon's intellect. She is not nearly as smart as he is, but she takes pride in the fact that she more easily make friends. Her friends have a habit of teasing her for having him as a brother. She is also witness to the endless teasing that Sheldon endures at the hands of the neighborhood and school children. Finally she found something she could teach Sheldon. But being only 5, at the time she started the endeavor, she didn't know how else to help her brother other than to teach by example. So she bullied him to teach him that he was being weird. When Sheldon became fast friends with Amy, Missy was both alarmed and jealous. Alarmed because Amy was another weird girl whom all the children teased. Her clothes are always mismatched, and she talks just like Sheldon, in that superior tone that Missy hates. She is jealous because Sheldon has never given Missy the time of day, despite all she has tried to do for him. And yet, Amy came along and he immediately became friends with her. What else was Missy to do but to point out to Sheldon and Amy both that they are weird? How else are they to learn to be normal if no one ever points out their eccentricities? But for some reason, it doesn't seem to be working. Instead, now they're both becoming closer to each other, and more adept at ignoring Missy. She doesn't like this rejection one bit.**

**Chapter 3**

"You wake up every Saturday morning at 6:30 to watch a TV show about a man in a box?"

Sheldon sighed, exasperated. "He's hardly just a 'man in a box'. He's not even human. He's a Time Lord. And it's a spaceship that can travel anywhere in time and space."

Amy, Sheldon, and his siblings had just gotten off the school bus and were walking to Sheldon's house. It was a Friday afternoon and Amy had asked Sheldon what he was doing on his Saturday.

Missy piped up. "Sheldon, you mean you've been friends with Amy for half the school year and you are just _now_ telling her about your stupid show?"

Sheldon stopped dead, turning around to face Missy. "It's _not_ a stupid show!" He said, stomping a foot for emphasis.

George snickered as Missy smiled. Sheldon glared and turned back around. He started walking so quickly that Amy had to nearly jog to keep up with him.

"Sheldon wait!...Sheldon slow down," Amy said, pulling at his back pack.

He slowed his steps ever so slightly.

"Why do you get so angry? Missy was _trying_ to make you angry."

Sheldon came to a full stop so quickly that Amy bumped into him. He turned around, taking a step back.

"Why do _you_ get sad when Missy calls you weird?" He countered.

Amy opened her mouth and then closed it. "Fair point."

He turned around to continue walking, albeit at a slower pace than before. He had been walking so fast that he and Amy had left Missy and George behind half a block ago.

Amy started walking beside him. "Have you _ever_ gotten along with your siblings?"

Sheldon shook his head. "No. Missy has hated me ever since I rolled over before she did."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "You can't possibly remember rolling over as a baby."

Sheldon gave her a look. "Yes I can. I have an Eidetic memory."

"I don't care. Your brain wasn't developed enough to store long term memories like that."

Sheldon scoffed. "Maybe _your_ brain wasn't developed enough. I remember the day well. I was on my stomach but I didn't like the position because I always ended up with my face in the carpet. I didn't like inhaling the carpet fibers. I had been trying for several days to fix the situation, and finally on a sunny Wednesday afternoon, I figured out which muscles I would need to use in order to turn over to face the ceiling fan, which, for some reason, I found very fascinating."

Amy was staring at him with her eyebrows raised. She opened her mouth but then closed it, shaking her head. Looking forward she asked, "And you say Missy hated you at that moment?"

"Yes."

"Why would she hate you for rolling over?"

Sheldon shrugged. "You would have to ask her that. Although good luck. She has the memory of a gnat…I speak figuratively, of course. But her memory for details is awful. She doesn't remember rolling over, crawling, or walking. She doesn't even remember what her first word was."

Amy looked back over at Sheldon with her eyebrows again raised.

Sheldon looked over at Amy. "It was 'mama'."

"What was your first word?"

"Tyrannosaurus."

Amy stopped walking, pulling on Sheldon's sleeve to get him to stop as well. "Your first word was Tyrannosaurus?"

"Yes."

"How did you even _know_ the word?"

"I had a stuffed dinosaur. I read it on the tag."

Amy scoffed. "Sheldon, that's impossible. You're joking with me, aren't you?"

Sheldon frowned. "Why would I be joking?"

"How did you learn to read? You wouldn't have even known the alphabet."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "My Meemaw would read books to us when she came to visit, which she does regularly. I simply paid attention."

Amy narrowed her eyes. "It's just not possible."

"Why?"

"Because, the brain doesn't develop that fast."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows again. "And again I say, maybe _your_ brain doesn't develop that fast."

He started walking again. He was several steps ahead before Amy ran a few steps to catch up with him.

Sheldon looked over at Amy. "What's _your_ earliest memory?"

Amy thought for a moment. "Getting pushed in the sandbox."

"Really? Who pushed you?"

"I never asked his name. My mother had taken me to the park near our house."

"How did you respond?"

"I didn't have a chance to. My mother rushed over and we went home."

"Were you crying?"

"No. I like to think that it was unintentional."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "What makes you think so?"

"Well, he was younger than me and I had hold of a shovel he wanted. He never looked me in the face, just pushed at me in his quest to grab my shovel. I don't think he even noticed that I fell down." Amy shrugged. "I didn't expect many social graces from a one year old."

"How old were you?"

"Two."

Sheldon looked surprised. "You mean you don't remember anything from before you were two?"

Amy shook her head. "No."

Sheldon shook his head, pitying Amy. "Suddenly your inability to master high school algebra is making sense."

Amy shook her head at him. "That's actually a good age to have your first memory. Some people can't even remember _that_ far back."

Sheldon shrugged his shoulders. "And that's why they'll never win Nobel Prizes."

"Are you saying you will?"

Sheldon gave Amy a look of surprise. "Of course."

"What will you research?"

"Amy, if I knew that, I'd already have my Nobel Prize."

Amy rolled her eyes.

They had reached Sheldon's house at that point and walked into the kitchen, where Mary was already preparing dinner; fried chicken by the looks of it. Sheldon loved when Mary made fried chicken.

"Why hello there. How was school?" Mary asked.

"Boring," Sheldon replied.

"Why was it boring?"

"Mother, I can recite pi to one thousand places, I can complete high school algebra, and I can read at a tenth grade level. I really don't think learning to spell 'cat', or learning basic math, is going to be interesting."

Mary gave him a stern look. "Shelly, what did I tell you about that uppity attitude?"

"Not to have it," Sheldon replied, and then mumbled, "even if I'm right."

Mary shook her head and looked heavenward, sighing.

Sheldon turned to Amy, "Do you want to see my Doctor Who collection?"

Amy shrugged. "Sure."

They hurried up to Sheldon's room, where he pulled out the shoe box he kept his Doctor Who toys in. Next to it were two other shoe boxes labeled "Star Trek" and "Star Wars". He opened the box and started taking out the action figures.

"This is the Doctor."

"What's his name?"

"Doctor."

"His name is 'Doctor'?"

"Well, no. But he's never said what his name is."

Amy frowned. "How old did you say this show is?"

"It's been on since 1963."

"And never in all that time did he say what his name was?"

"No."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Maybe he doesn't like his name."

Sheldon pulled out another figure. "This is a Dalek. They're the Time Lords' archenemies."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "It doesn't look very scary."

Sheldon gave her a look. "Trust me. It is."

Amy pointed. "But, what are those things?"

"Those are the weapons."

Amy snickered. "The weapons are a plunger and a whisk?"

Sheldon looked affronted. "I'll have you know that the so called 'plunger' and 'whisk' are capable of exterminating your life."

Amy shrugged. "What's that dog thing?"

"That's called K-9."

Amy raised her eyebrows, picking up the little metal dog. "Not a very original name is it?"

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "Oh and I suppose 'Amy' is _highly_ original?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "I'm not a fictional metal dog that's supposedly traveling around with an alien too scared to tell people his name."

Amy picked up another toy. "Is this the box?" she said, examining it.

"Yes. It's called a T.A.R.D.I.S."

Amy looked at the blue box skeptically. "It's not a very big spaceship."

"It's bigger on the inside."

"How can it be bigger on the inside?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Time Lord technology of course."

Amy scanned the toys. "I don't know Sheldon, it all seems a little silly."

Sheldon pressed his lips together tightly.

Amy frowned at him. "What are you doing?"

"Using Kolinahr to suppress my rage at your comment."

Amy stared at him.

When Sheldon had calmed himself down, he turned to Amy and said, "Perhaps if you saw the show you'd feel differently. You have no attachment to the characters therefore you have no attachment to the toys."

Amy shrugged. "That's certainly a plausible explanation…or it could just be a silly show."

Sheldon pressed his lips together again. Sometimes Amy was almost as insufferable as his sister.

"That's it. You're watching the show. With me present so I know you're paying attention."

Amy frowned. "How? It's on at 6:30 in the morning. My mom won't let me come over here that early."

"Hmm," Sheldon frowned as well, thinking. Then he had a solution. It was perfectly simple. "You can spend the night here."

Amy looked shocked. "I don't know Sheldon. I don't think my mom will let me stay here."

Sheldon blinked. "Why not?"

"Because you're a boy."

"So? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, I'm a girl."

"Now you're just stating facts. I don't see why the fact that I'm a boy and you're a girl should sway your mother's decision to let you spend the night."

Amy shrugged. "I don't either, but she's said more than once that she wishes I would make friends with a girl."

Sheldon scoffed. "I'm a little insulted."

Amy shrugged again.

"Well," said Sheldon, "the only logical way to find out is to ask. If you don't spend the night, then you'll never be able to watch Doctor Who. Surely your mother will be able to see the logic behind your need to spend the night."

Amy blinked at him. "We haven't even asked _your_ mother if it's alright."

Sheldon blinked back at Amy. "You're right. Let's go fix that."

They both stood up and walked back into the kitchen, where the smell of frying chicken permeated the air.

Mary smiled at them.

"Mom, is it ok if Amy spends the night. She's never seen Doctor Who."

Mary raised her eyebrows. "Well…I suppose it couldn't hurt, if it's ok with Amy's parents."

Amy smiled. "Thank you Mrs. Cooper. May I use your phone?"

"Of course, dear."

Sheldon followed Amy into the living room and sat in a chair while she dialed her parents' number. He listened as Amy had a conversation with her mother.

"Mom, I was wondering if it would be ok for me to spend the night at Sheldon's tonight. There is a television program we wish to watch at 6:30 in the morning…It's called Doctor Who…yes it's ok with his parents…I don't know, I would assume Sheldon's room…why would that be unseemly?...but Sheldon's my friend…but…but…but what if other arrangements could be made…Please mom?...ok."

Amy set down the receiver and Sheldon watched her walk back towards the kitchen. "Mrs. Cooper? My mom would like to speak with you."

Amy walked over to sit next to Sheldon in the chair. It was Sheldon's dad's chair, so it was extra wide, and they could both fit comfortably.

Mary walked over to the telephone and picked up the receiver. "This is Mary. Why hello…yes it would seem they've gotten it in their heads to watch t.v. in the early hours of a Saturday morning…I understand your concern. Sheldon has a twin sister, Missy. Perhaps Amy can sleep in there…" Amy looked at Sheldon with concern. Sheldon wondered how Missy would take the news of Amy sleeping in her room. "Yes of course…I understand…yes, they will be supervised…oh there's no need. I'm sure Missy can provide Amy with pajamas…Alright then. Thank you kindly….I will. Have a good evening to you too. Good bye."

Mary set down the receiver and turned to Sheldon and Amy. "Your mother says you can spend the night, but she doesn't want you sleeping in Sheldon's room. You'll be sleeping in Missy's room with her. And you can borrow some of Missy's pajamas." Seeing Amy's look of concern Mary said, "Oh now don't you worry none. Missy won't bite you. I'm sure she'll be happy to help her brother out."

Just then Missy came through the door. Mary smiled at her. "Missy dear, come on over here. Amy is going to be spending the night." Missy frowned but didn't say anything. "And her mama has asked if she could sleep in your room instead of Sheldon's."

Missy's mouth popped open. "But mom…"

Mary cut her off. "No…she's staying in your room, and you're to be nice to both her and Shelly. She is a guest in this home. She'll also be borrowing some of your pajamas."

Missy looked quite distressed. "But mom…"

"Missy…"

Missy closed her mouth and pressed her lips together.

Mary turned to Amy and Sheldon. "Now, Amy's mother also stated she doesn't want the two of you playing alone in Sheldon's room, so you'll have to play in Missy's room."

This time both Sheldon and Missy spoke at the same time. "But mom…!"

Mary held up a hand. "No buts. That's how it's gonna be. Now go ahead and get playing. Dinner will be on the table in half an hour." She walked back into the kitchen.

Missy still had her lips pressed together. She took a deep breath through her nose, glared at Sheldon and Amy and walked away.

Sheldon looked at Amy and shrugged. "It could have gone worse."

Amy nodded. "I'd say that was an improvement."

"Well…why don't we grab the Star Trek box and take both that and the Doctor Who toys into Missy's room. We can pretend that the Doctor runs into the crew from the Enterprise on a distant planet."

Amy shrugged. "Ok."

They walked into Sheldon's room, grabbed the toys and walked into Missy's room. She was sitting on her bed with her arms crossed, glaring at the two of them when they walked in.

They sat down, not speaking to Missy, and started taking the toys out of their shoe boxes. Missy watched them for a minute before getting up and going to her closet. She grabbed out a pink bag and sat on the other side of the room.

Amy watched her pull out the contents of the bag with interest. She looked back over at the toys Sheldon was setting up and then back at Missy.

"Can I play with you Missy?"

Sheldon and Missy, both looked at Amy, frowned, and said, "You like Barbies?" at the same time.

Amy nodded as Missy eyed her warily. After a few moments she nodded. "Ok. You can play with me."

Amy smiled and Missy held up a hand. "But nothing weird! I was going to put on a fashion show."

Amy's smile brightened. "I've never done that before. I don't have enough clothes for my Barbies, so I just brush and braid their hair and make them be scientists who make great discoveries."

Missy gave Amy an incredulous look. "Ok…so long as they're not scientists, then you can play."

As Amy stood up, Sheldon said, "Wait a minute Amy. Are you saying you'd rather play with dolls than with me?"

Amy frowned. "_You're_ playing with dolls."

Sheldon scoffed. "These aren't dolls! They're action figures!"

Amy shrugged. "Sheldon, I think you forget I'm a girl. And as such, sometimes I want to play with small wasted, plastic dolls that make me hate my body."

As Amy walked over to the other side of the room to play with Missy's Barbies, Sheldon incredulously wondered if girls were mysterious, as he had read in a book once, or just plain crazy.

**A/N: Thank you so very much for reading. I was originally going to wait to post this until tomorrow, but I thought, why wait? I'm ill, so the reviews will brighten my day...and I may be too busy tomorrow to post it anyways. So remember, Reviews are appreciated, encouraging, and motivating. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you very much for the reviews and the renditions of Soft Kitty. It did indeed make me feel better. (Sorry to Someone for making you ill. Hopefully no one else caught germs from my fic.)**

**Chapter 4**

_Finally, this school year is over,_ Sheldon thought to himself, as he walked home with Missy and George. He was looking forward to working on several projects with Amy. He had recently been contemplating how to build a CAT scanner, and was thinking, perhaps, he could use parts from Missy's Easy Bake Oven. She hadn't used it in a while, so he didn't think she'd have a right to keep him from using it. Amy had had to go home, rather than over to Sheldon's house, as she said her parents had informed her that morning that they wanted to tell her some important news. They had agreed to meet tomorrow to begin planning their summer. Sheldon briefly wondered what news her parents could have, but then got distracted as he approached his house and saw a familiar car in the driveway.

Sheldon, not usually one for smiling or general emotional outbursts, grinned and broke into a run, leaving his siblings behind. He may consider himself part Vulcan, but he was certain even Mr. Spock would make exceptions for Meemaws.

He ran towards the kitchen, dropping his backpack on the way and stopping in the doorway to grin at his beloved Meemaw. She was sitting at the table, drinking a hot beverage (likely tea), with his mother.

Meemaw smiled back at him.

"Is that my Moonpie?"

Sheldon's grin broadened.

"Come here and give your Meemaw some sugar."

Sheldon walked over to his Meemaw's chair and allowed her to hug him. Under normal circumstances he abhorred hugs, or indeed, any show of affection. But Meemaws were different. According to _his_ Meemaw, hugs by Moonpies were what kept Meemaws happy and healthy. And who was _he_ to deprive Meemaw of health and happiness?

Sheldon couldn't stop himself from smiling again when his Meemaw swayed him back and forth and then started kissing his cheek.

"You're so nummy nummy, I could just eat you up."

She grabbed him by the shoulders, and held him at arm's length, "Stand here and let me have a look at you. My, my. You are just sprouting like a weed. Soon you'll be taller than George."

George and Missy walked into the kitchen. Meemaw let Sheldon's shoulders go, but put an arm around them to hold him next to her. She smiled at George and Missy.

"Come on over here and hug your Meemaw, you two."

George and Missy both walked over and Meemaw gave them a one armed hug. She looked them both over. "I just can't believe how big you three have gotten."

"They sure do grow up fast," Mary said, nodding.

Meemaw turned to smile at Mary and pat her on the cheek. "You really have no idea dear. Just wait until the day you realize _you're_ the Meemaw."

She turned back to George and Missy. "Georgie, your mother tells me you joined a little league team this summer."

George nodded, smiling. "I'm the pitcher."

Meemaw whistled. "The pitcher!" She squeezed Sheldon's shoulder and looked at him "Can you believe Georgie here is playing the most valuable position?"

Sheldon blinked. "Yes. He is always practicing, so it's perfectly logical that his hours of practice should pay off in the form of the most coveted position on the team."

Meemaw turned back to George. "He's absolutely right! Congratulations George. I'll have your mother let me know when your games are and I'll make sure I come to one."

George smiled as Meemaw turned to Missy. "And you miss Missy. What are you up to? I hear you're just a little social butterfly."

Missy beamed. "Yes. I have three different best friends."

Meemaw gasped loudly. "Three different best friends? My goodness!" She turned to Sheldon again. "But we always knew that no one would be able to resist your sister's charm, didn't we?"

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "I do believe that you said that. I recall stating that since Missy doesn't have my intellect, or George's talent for sports, that her last hope was a winning personality."

Missy glared. Meemaw chuckled, squeezing Sheldon's shoulders yet again, and turning back to look at Missy. "Well, it turns out Sheldon was right, wasn't he? You certainly have a winning personality. Are you going to be spending your summer with these three best friends of yours?"

Missy smiled again and nodded. Meemaw reached out and patted Missy's cheek. "And they're lucky to get to!"

Meemaw turned to look at Sheldon. "And now you. I want to hear all about my Moonpie's life."

Missy and George both walked out of the kitchen, probably to go about their normal business. Sheldon smiled at Meemaw. He loved telling Meemaw about his life. She was always supportive and she was always interested. She never made Sheldon feel like he was boring her with his descriptions of his science projects, or the latest book he was reading, or his new favorite comic book. He knew she didn't understand everything he said, especially when science was involved, but he didn't care because she was interested to hear it…and she was his Meemaw.

"Sheldon, why don't you tell Meemaw about your friend, Amy?" Mary said.

Meemaw raised her eyebrows. "What's this? You have a friend?"

Sheldon nodded. "Yes. Her name is Amy. And she's brilliant. Not as brilliant as me…"

Meemaw gave a look of mock surprise. "Of course she's not as brilliant as you."

Sheldon smiled. "…but she's still more brilliant than everyone else I know. And she doesn't make fun of me. And we talk about science. She likes biology and wants to be a neurobiologist. I don't like biology, because there is too much icky, squishy stuff, but Amy only knows fifth grade math. So she can't be a world renowned physicist like me. She agreed. And we created a game."

"Oh my. You did? How do you play it?"

"Well, first we change one thing in the world. And then we ask each other questions."

"I see. Can you give me an example."

"Sure. This is the first one I came up with. In a world where Christmas is in September, like it should be, what does the Easter Bunny hide?"

Meemaw thought for a moment and then looked at Sheldon and said, "I give up."

"Sugar plums, of course."

Meemaw tsked. "Of course. How silly of me."

Sheldon patted Meemaw on the shoulder. "That's ok Meemaw. At your age it's normal to start losing higher brain function."

"Sheldon Cooper!" Mary shook her finger at him. "You do not talk to your Meemaw like that."

Meemaw tsked again. "Oh, now Mary, don't berate the boy. He was just speaking facts." She turned to Sheldon. "And you are exactly right. Enjoy your Meemaw now, Moonpie. She's losing more of her marbles every minute."

Sheldon's eyes bugged. He had never thought about the fact that Meemaw may be losing her cognitive function little by little. What if she stopped knowing who he was?

Meemaw chuckled and squeezed his shoulder again. "Oh now, I was just teasing you." She tapped her finger to her head. "My noodle isn't cooked yet."

Sheldon let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Now tell me what else is going on. I want to hear every detail."

If Sheldon loved anyone, it was certainly Meemaw.

* * *

That night Meemaw tucked Sheldon in to bed. He loved when Meemaw was in town. As she was tucking in the covers tightly, she told Sheldon she couldn't wait to meet Amy. Sheldon was excited for Amy to meet Meemaw as well. He was sure that the two would get along, although he knew there was no way Meemaw would like Amy more than Sheldon. As he drifted off that night he was thinking happily of the next day.

When he awoke the next morning, he found Meemaw already awake, sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and reading the paper. Sheldon grabbed his bowl of cereal and sat in front of the TV, ready to watch Doctor Who. His mother tried to tell him to let Meemaw enjoy her paper, and that he could watch Doctor Who next week, but luckily Meemaw stepped in and said she had been wanting to see this show that her Moonpie loved so much. She set down her paper and listened as Sheldon filled her in.

After breakfast, Mary announced that she and Meemaw were going to go shopping and that they'd be back in a few hours. Shopping did not interest Sheldon, so he went into his room to read some comic books and wait for Amy to come over.

It was almost 11:00 before Amy arrived. She knocked on the door and Sheldon went to answer it.

After pulling open the door, he frowned and said, "What took you so long? I know we didn't set a specific time, but I thought it was implied that it would be within the morning hours. At 11:00 there are hardly any morning hours left."

Amy put her head down and shrugged her shoulders. "I just didn't feel like coming over sooner."

Sheldon's annoyance turned to concern. "Amy, is something the matter?"

She nodded, still keeping her head down. "Can we go sit on the porch swing?"

Sheldon thought it was a somewhat odd question, seeing as how Amy had never before shown an interest in his parents' porch swing. They had even had a discussion once about the inherent perils of porch swings, chief among them being motion sickness.

"Ok."

They walked over and sat down on the porch swing. It didn't move much because neither one's feet touched the ground. Amy fidgeted with her fingers. Sheldon didn't know much about emotions, but his research into nonverbal communication had provided him with enough knowledge to discern that Amy was upset and stalling.

"Amy what's wrong?" he asked, now very concerned that something awful had happened.

Sheldon saw Amy press her lips together and take a big breath. But she didn't answer him, and she wasn't looking at him. He didn't know what to do.

Amy took another big breath and then turned to Sheldon and said quickly, "We're moving."

Sheldon blinked at her. "Moving? Where? To another school district?"

Amy shook her head and looked down again. "To another state."

Sheldon blinked at Amy, but didn't respond. Moving to another state? Amy can't move to another state. He would never see her. She was his friend. She couldn't move to another state!

"You can't."

Amy looked up and frowned. "I don't have a choice. My father has been transferred. We are moving in a week."

Sheldon's mouth popped open. "A week?" he said weakly.

Amy nodded back and then looked forward. Sheldon also looked forward. He didn't know what to say. This was very upsetting. His entire summer was going to be ruined. He had had so many projects planned and Amy was supposed to help him with them all. And who would play Counter Factuals with him? And who would be his friend? Amy was his only friend and if she moved away then he would have no friends. No one to understand what he was talking about. No one to have an intelligent conversation with.

Sheldon didn't know how long they sat silent on the porch swing, but eventually he heard a car pull up and saw Mary and Meemaw walking towards the porch, carrying shopping bags. They both stopped when they saw Sheldon and Amy looking at them quietly.

"Sheldon, is something matter?" Mary asked.

Sheldon nodded his head.

"Is everything all right?"

Sheldon shook his head.

Mary turned to Meemaw. "He's not talking. That's always a bad sign."

Meemaw patted Mary's cheek. "Why don't you go on inside and let me talk with the two of them."

Mary looked at Sheldon, who was watching them blankly, and nodded. "Alright. I'll go get lunch started. Here give me your bags."

Meemaw handed Mary her bags and then walked over to Amy and Sheldon.

"Well, you must be Amy."

Amy nodded. "You must be Sheldon's Meemaw." She held out her hand. "My name is Amy Farrah Fowler."

Meemaw shook Amy's hand. "Very nice to meet you, Amy." She turned to Sheldon. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Sheldon shook his head, and both he and Amy scooted over to make room for Meemaw on Sheldon's right. Since her legs were long enough to touch the ground, Meemaw started slowly swinging the porch swing.

She looked over at the two of them. "So what's got the two of you looking so forelorn?"

Amy looked at Meemaw and said, "I'm moving away in a week."

Meemaw tsked. "Oh now isn't that sad."

Sheldon nodded his head, and the three of them sat for a few moments, not saying anything while Meemaw continued to swing the porch swing.

Then Meemaw spoke up. "You know, when I was a little girl, I had a little neighbor girl I was friends with. We were thick as thieves. Molly and I went everywhere together. People used to think we were joined at the hip. We told each other all our secrets. We played games together. We would play in the creek together. She was my very best friend. And then one day, her daddy decided they were going to move to Atlanta. Times were tough, what with it being the Great Depression, and he had a job offer there. Oh my, we were so sad. I didn't know what I was going to do without Molly, and she didn't know what she was going to do without me. But there wasn't anything we could do about it and we decided that we weren't going to let a little thing like geography keep us from being friends. So we decided we were going to write to each other. And that's just what we did. And you know what?"

Meemaw looked at Amy and Sheldon, both of whom replied "What?"

"We're still writing letters."

Amy frowned. "You've been writing letters ever since you were children?"

Meemaw nodded. "Yes we have. And we have never stopped being friends. I was the Maid of Honor at Molly's wedding."

Amy grinned. "Really?"

"Really."

Amy turned to Sheldon. "Sheldon, we could write letters."

Sheldon blinked. "Yes we could."

"And then we don't have to stop being friends."

Sheldon felt a smile starting to creep up on him, despite his best efforts to squash it. "You're right. We could write and tell each other about our experiments."

Amy nodded. "And we could still have intelligent conversations, they'll just take longer than normal."

Meemaw smiled and patted Sheldon on the shoulder. "There you go. See? There's a silver lining after all."

Sheldon looked at Meemaw and nodded. Meemaw got up and said, "I think I had best go help your Mama with lunch. You two keep talking about what you're gonna put in those letters."

And that's just what they did, for the rest of that morning, and well into the afternoon.

* * *

The day that Amy was leaving for good, she had promised to stop by to say goodbye to Sheldon. Sheldon didn't want her to come say goodbye, but Mary had told him it was rude to tell her not to come. He didn't want Amy to come because he detested goodbyes, and a goodbye could more easily be achieved over the telephone anyways. But Amy was quite insistent that she come say goodbye in person, so he had felt obligated to say ok.

When Amy knocked on the door, Sheldon was sitting in front of the television, pretending to watch it, wishing Meemaw were still there. Mary went to answer the door and invited Amy inside. She walked over and stood next to Sheldon. He didn't look at her, but continued pretending to watch the television.

"Sheldon?"

He turned his head to look at her, vigorously concentrating on controlling his facial muscles and tear ducts. "Yes Amy?"

A crease appeared on her forehead. "Um…Goodbye."

He blinked. "Goodbye…you have my address in a secure place I trust."

Amy nodded.

"Then I wish you well." He turned back to face the television.

He could see Amy still standing next to him, out of the corner of his eye. Why didn't she just leave?

Amy turned to Mary. "Mrs. Cooper, may I use your restroom please?"

"Of course you can dear."

Amy walked away, and Sheldon swallowed and blinked, still staring at the TV.

Mary walked over to him and sat down, putting her arm around his shoulder. "Shelly, sweetheart, you need to say a proper goodbye to Amy. I know you're hurting, but you don't want her to think you don't care now, do you?"

Sheldon turned his head to look at his mother. "No."

"Alright then, when she comes back out here, you give her a warm goodbye."

Amy walked back out into the living room at that moment, so Sheldon stood up. He cleared his throat and held out his hand, mentally preparing himself to touch Amy's germy hand. "Amy, I have enjoyed having you as my friend and playmate. I wish you well in your future endeavors and look forward to your letters."

Amy stood there a moment, before she reached her hand out to shake Sheldon's hand. After they let go, she said, "Well…I should get going. I promised my mother I wouldn't be long."

Sheldon nodded and Amy walked to the front door. Mary followed her to open it. Before she walked out, Amy looked back at Sheldon, who was still vigorously controlling his facial muscles and tear ducts, and said, "Goodbye." Then she turned and walked out.

Sheldon walked to the window and watched until he could no longer see her. Mary came over and put a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off and went into his room. He grabbed the three shoe boxes labeled "Star Trek", "Star Wars", and "Doctor Who", along with a flashlight and went into his closet, shutting the door and sitting on the floor.

He opened all three boxes and dumped them unceremoniously on the floor. But instead of playing, he just stared. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, when the door opened and he saw Missy.

He frowned. "What do you want? Go away. I don't want to talk to anyone."

Missy gave him a look he had never seen. Instead of taunting him or leaving, she said something very surprising.

"Sheldon, I'm sorry Amy moved away."

He blinked at her, at a complete loss as to how to respond.

Missy shuffled awkwardly, and then pointed at the toys. "Can I play with you?"

Sheldon was so surprised he nearly forgot he was sad. "You want to play with my action figures?"

Missy shrugged.

Was this a trick? Sheldon eyed Missy warily.

"This isn't a trick," she said, as if she understood what he was thinking, which was of course impossible.

Sheldon thought for another moment, and then said, "Ok."

Missy sat down in the closet with Sheldon, and he closed the door again. It was as he was setting up all the action figures that he realized his Mr. Spock action figure was missing.

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading. Meemaw was very intimidating to write. I'm also a little sad to say goodbye to Child Sheldon and Child Amy, as they were very cute and fun to write. As always, please remember that reviews are appreciated, encouraging, and motivating. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Many thanks as always for the reviews. I seem to have struck a chord with several of you and have elicited some very real responses. You have no idea how much it means to me that you think my writing is worthy of an emotional response. You guys are awesome. :)**

**Chapter 5**

Dear Amy,

I'm not sure what possessed you to steal my Mr. Spock action figure, but I am willing to forgive you if follow the below instructions for his safe return.

Sincerely,  
Sheldon Cooper

Instructions for repackaging and mailing Mr. Spock

Step 1: Obtain a box with the dimensions 8"X12"X8"  
Step 2: Obtain exactly 13 ¾" of bubble wrap  
Step 3: Carefully place Mr. Spock at one end of bubble wrap, ensuring that his arm is exactly ½" away from the edge  
Step 4: Wrap Mr. Spock exactly 5 times with bubble wrap  
Step 5: Put ¾" of Scotch brand tape on the end to secure bubble wrap  
Step 6: Obtain 2 cups of packaging peanuts  
Step 7: Pour 1 cup of packaging peanuts in the bottom of box  
Step 8: Place bubble wrapped Mr. Spock in box  
Step 9: Pour remaining 1 cup of packaging peanuts on top  
Step 10: Close box  
Step 11: Use 3 separate 14" strips of packaging tape to secure the top of the box  
Step 12: Print my address in the middle of the box  
Step 13: Print your return address in the top left corner of the box  
Step 14: Take box to the post office  
Step 15: Purchase 1 day shipping, including the "Fragile" handling  
Step 16: Mail box

* * *

Dear Sheldon,

I am sorry to hear that your Mr. Spock action figure has gone missing. However, I am a little upset that you believe I would steal it. I am willing to overlook your accusation, however, because I understand how upsetting the loss of a beloved toy is.

We have arrived at our new home. It looks to be a very dull summer. Having arrived in our new neighborhood at the beginning of summer, I have had no opportunity to search out a friend. I believe I shall use the summer as an opportunity to expand my knowledge of the central nervous system. Our new residence is, fortunately, only two blocks away from the local library. I hope you are doing well.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

P.S. While I was upset at your accusation, I must nonetheless give you a hearty congratulations on the excellent instructions you provided. Should I ever have need of requesting something to be shipped, I shall use your instructions as my spring board.

* * *

Dear Amy,

While I do find it to be a strange coincidence (although I don't actually believe in such hokum, I believe the phrasing works in this case) that my Mr. Spock doll should go missing the exact same day you left, I will accept your response that you did not take him. I offer my apologies for assuming you were a thief when you gave me no prior examples of theft with which to base my unfounded accusation on.

A strange thing has happened since you left a few weeks ago. Missy has stopped taunting me. The day you left she offered her sympathies at your leaving, and requested to play with me (thus how I discovered so soon after your departure that my Mr. Spock had gone missing). And, as if that were not strange enough, she didn't even get mad when I initially accused her of stealing him. In fact, she helped me look for him. Also in the recent weeks, she has taken it upon herself to come to my defense when others in our neighborhood have taunted me. I find the whole thing strange, and naturally, do not trust her. I suspect an ulterior motive and will keep you abreast of any changes in the situation.

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper

* * *

Dear Sheldon,

I sincerely accept your apology and do not blame you for your assumption. As I stated in my previous correspondence, the loss of a beloved toy is traumatic. I agree that it is curious that Missy should so suddenly stop her bullying and am anxious to hear of any further developments.

The library at my new location is, luckily, very well stocked in the subject of neurobiology. As such, my first month and a half in my new residence has been almost enjoyable. Not so enjoyable as it would have been had I never moved, and had we been able to complete summer projects together, however.

You will have to excuse the length between the arrival of your letters and my response to them. I do not wish to send you letters when I have nothing of value to say, and as it is summer, and I have no friends, it takes some time for something interesting to happen.

Unfortunately, the something interesting which has happened is not a happy one. I had had the hollow dream that, since I was able to make a friend at my last residence, perhaps I would also be able to procure a friend at this residence (Although please do not think that I had any hopes of replacing you as a friend. I merely was hoping for some sort of amiable companionship). Sadly, it would seem that was a pipe dream. For some reason unbeknownst to me, the local children have decided amongst themselves that they do not desire my friendship. It is looking like I shall have to, again, return to my former state of friendlessness while attending school. I would say that I look forward to the return of school, in less than a month, but as it is only the second grade, my enthusiasm is limited. I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

* * *

Dear Amy,

I appreciate your thoughtfulness of not responding until you had something of note to report. I, too, believe that our correspondence will work best if we keep banal chit chat to a minimum.

I am saddened by your news that the children around your new residence have chosen to reject you, but I must admit that I am not entirely surprised. I say this, not because I find it implausible that anyone should like you (quite the contrary), but because my own experience with children of our age, and even well up into the teenager years, has reinforced my opinion that most of the rest of humanity is simply too stupid to understand when they are in the presence of greatness. While you have been spending your summer reading, I have spent the greater portion of my summer attempting to create a Sonic Death Ray with which to assure the children of the neighborhood stop their endless taunting. Unfortunately, all attempts have remained unsuccessful (although our family dog did become quite agitated). Should I ever complete a working prototype, I shall send you the dimensions.

School starts tomorrow, and I share your aversion of attending. Yet again, my parents have denied my request to begin attending the eleventh grade. Second grade promises to be as tedious as first.

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper

P.S. I have no further reports on Missy's motives. She continues to be pleasant. It is quite disturbing.

* * *

Dear Sheldon,

As expected, second grade is not a worthwhile use of my time. I have no friends, as the neighborhood children made sure to spread the news that the new girl (i.e. me) is a "freak". Apparently, it is not considered "cool" to spend you summer days at the library.

Since my pipe dream of friendship is now wholly unfulfilled, I have decided to take up playing the harp. It is my hope that, aside from filling my time, I will be able to get in good with the "band geeks" later in life. It is my understanding that the middle and high school symphonies do not have harp players.

I do not have much else to report at this time. I expect my next letter will be long in coming, as life here has fallen into a series of boring events. I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

* * *

Dear Amy,

As it is painfully obvious that it has taken me several months to gather enough interesting events to report to you in a letter, I won't bore you by further stating that I am sorry it has taken me so long to have written.

I was wrong about the second grade being as tedious as the first. It is by far even more so. The rate at which I continue to learn is almost exponentially greater than the rate at which other second graders are taught. I have used the time in class to learn Morse Code. Luckily, this year's teacher, a Mrs. Broadstein, does not care to force me to pay attention. She placed me at the back of the room and stated her only request is that I not disturb the other children. As such, I am only able to practice the tapping out of Morse code on my own time. But I have been practicing writing out words and phrases during class time. It has started to bore me, now that I have mastered the craft, so I suppose I shall have to find another worthwhile endeavor soon.

I find your wish to learn to play the harp interesting. The harp is not an instrument I would have considered worthy of learning. But if you like filling your time learning useless instruments, then far be it from me to discourage you.

I wish I had further developments to report regarding Missy, but she is quite devious in hiding her motives. No matter how much I question her, her only response is "I'm not playing a trick on you." The consistency with which she says this is starting to chip away at my resolve to disdain her for the entirety of our lives. I do not like this.

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper

* * *

**A/N: Thank you as always for reading. The next 2-3 chapters (not sure yet) will be very similar. It's also not too difficult to write, so updating speed will probably be good. :) And for those of you who are so young that you are wondering why they are writing letters and not calling each other on the phone, I'll just say that those of us who remember the late 80's/early 90's recall a time BEFORE cell phones (I know right?) when, in order to call someone who was outside of your city, you had to pay extra money per minute for a "Long Distance Call". *takes off "condescension hat"* ;) I always enjoy your feedback, and am especially interested in this case, so please keep in mind that reviews are appreciated, encouraging, and motivating.**

**P.S. For those taking exams this week or in the near future, good luck and thanks for using my fic to procrastinate! ;) (but no seriously, after you click that review button, get back to studying.)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you to all reviewers. It's nice to know I'm not the only person on this site over 23. (Kunal and I are the same age) Your reported nostalgia reminded me of the English pen pal I had. We kept our (letter) correspondance going from 8th grade up until college, when, ironically we both got email accounts and then lost touch. Anyway, enough chit chat from me. The line breaks that then have "#####" after them mean that some amount of time has passed. Enjoy. :)**

**Chapter 6**

Dear Sheldon,

I am very sorry to hear that your Somali pen pal has been captured by pirates. I can assure you that I am quite well, and that neither my parents, nor I, have plans to visit Africa any time soon. I will mail you this letter immediately, so as not to worry you unnecessarily. If you could please send me a return letter at your earliest convenience so that I know you have received mine. We can then return to our regularly scheduled letter writing. Looking forward to your reply.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

* * *

Dear Amy,

I thank you for your prompt response to my inquiries regarding your health. Your letter did indeed sooth my worries for your safety. Please feel free to write back when you have correspondence worth sharing.

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper

* * *

Dear Sheldon,

You must forgive me for my lengthy delay in writing. I have had quite the medical scare. Lest you be alarmed, first let me begin by stating that I have made a full recovery.

The debacle began one afternoon when I was walking home from school. As I have stated previously, there is a wooded area on the north side of the road I regularly take after exiting the school bus. As I was walking home, several of my fellow classmates started taunting me. It seems that they did not find my two year ruse in cub scouts amusing. To escape their taunts, I quickly ran into the wooded area and climbed a tree. Thus begins my harrowing tale. As I waited for them to grow tired of taunting and go home for their dinner, it would seem a tick found its way to the back side of my left arm. Of course as soon as I noticed the insect, I removed it, but alas the damage was already done. Approximately five days after the incident, a large red rash, in the shape of a bullseye formed at the exact location of the tick bite. I don't have to tell you what the doctor's diagnosis was. I had contracted Lyme disease. The first course of antibiotics prescribed to me was penicillin. I have been lucky throughout my ten and a half years never to have before contracted a disease requiring the use of penicillin. Un-luckily, however, it would seem that I am severely allergic to the medication. My reactions to the drug induced panic in my mother and father, who immediately rushed me to the emergency room. To be safe, given the severity of the reaction, the doctor in the emergency room decided to have me stay in the hospital overnight. While I was there I was given a different antibiotic to treat my Lyme disease, this time one which did not create a series of unfortunate reactions. After I returned home, my mother, quite traumatized by the incident, insisted I stay home for a week. I was not allowed to do any studying (although to be honest, I do not need to study for most of my fifth grade course work), and she would not let me draft a letter, for fear that I would over exert myself. I insisted that I was ok, but, as she was quite worried, I decided perhaps the best course of action was to indulge her. Therefore I have spent the better part of my past seven days watching the likes of _The Price Is Right_, _Family Feud_, and reruns of_ Leave It To Beaver_ on television. I am almost happy to be returning to school tomorrow, even though there is only one week left of the fifth grade. I have nothing else of note to report. I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

* * *

Dear Amy,

Oh dear, what an awful experience. I can only imagine the terror you felt at having to actually spend the night in a hospital room. As my mother would say, thank the good lord you were already receiving a course of antibiotics. I am happy to hear you are well again.

I have some very happy news to report. I don't have to tell you that I have repeatedly begged my parents to allow me to advance in school at a faster rate than one grade per year, always to be denied. This year, however, I have had success. It appears that my repeatedly going to the guidance counselor (thank you for the suggestion) has indeed paid off. She requested a meeting with my parents in which (I am assuming) she told them that my brilliance could not, and should not, be contained any further, and that I should be allowed to advance at a rate that is most beneficial to me. As a result of her excellent advice, my parents have agreed to allow me to start attending college. I start this summer. Needless to say, I am very excited by the opportunity, although I will have to work extra hard to complete my personal goal of a PhD by age 16. My parents threw off my timeline by denying my request to enter college 3 years ago. I don't believe it should be too difficult to make up the time, however, as I have been studying basic college curriculums in my spare time for several years now.

Unsurprisingly, Missy shares my enthusiasm regarding my success, and even went so far as to say that she would miss me in school. Despite my repeatedly telling her that, if she wishes to correspond with you, she should write to you herself, she is being quite insistent that I tell you she sends her fondest regards. And now, after punching my arm, she requests that I tell you that she did not use the phrase "fondest regards" but asked me to say that she "hopes you're getting along alright" and that she hopes your "lyme disease wasn't caused by eating too many limes," because "limes are good" and she would "hate it if you couldn't ever eat limes again."

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper, soon to be college student

* * *

Dear Sheldon,

A hearty congratulations to you for your triumph! I envy you your escape from middle and high school. I look forward to your many, and inevitably enviable, tales of life in college. My own parents are determined that I will have a "normal" childhood and have stated rather plainly that I shall not be able to skip grades.

School is now out, so I will be starting my summer tradition of catching up on the current research going on in the field of neurobiology. I have often wondered, while reading said studies, why more researchers don't utilize the fascinating brains of monkeys. I have nothing else new to report. I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler, soon to be middle schooler

P.S. Please inform Missy that I am touched by her concern for my well being and that I can indeed still eat limes.

* * *

#################

Dear Amy,

I am sorry to report that my experimentation with the construction of a CAT scanner has gone awry. You will recall my extreme disappointment with my parent's refusal to provide me with a titanium centrifuge, with which I would be able to separate radioactive isotopes, and my resulting idea to attempt the construction of a CAT scanner instead. I worked tirelessly to develop the plans and construct a working prototype. A few weeks ago, believing I had perfected the design, I decided to give my prototype a test run. Missy volunteered Snow Ball, her guinea pig, as the first subject. Much to Missy's dismay, the result of my first test run was the demise of her pet. I suppose I should count myself lucky that I, too, was injured in the debacle. My parents had to rush me to the hospital, following the near explosion, to be treated for radiation burns. As such, Missy allowed her worry for my safety to overshadow her anger at my broken promise that no harm would come to Snow Ball. George, Jr found the entire incident highly amusing.

Despite my overwhelming disappointment that my prototype did not yield success, my first concern was a dip, as a result of missing several weeks of school, in my current class standing (in all classes) as number one. I am fairly certain, however, that with an additional ten hours per week devoted to course studies, I shall be able to make up the deficit, and regain my title as number one, rather easily. Despite being repeatedly told the past two semesters that I am not allowed to take more than twenty-one credits, I remain convinced that I could easily handle an additional six credits per semester. I plan to take my complaint to the Dean himself when next I apply for classes.

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper

* * *

################

Dear Sheldon,

Missy has written to inform me that you have been in quite a, to use her phrasing, "bratty mood" in recent days. She has informed me of the particulars of the incident which has led to your foul mood, and, while I find it admirable that you wished to provide free electricity to your neighborhood, I must say that I side with your mother, father, brother, sister, and the FBI in this instance. If it is indeed illegal to store Yellow Cake radium in a storage shed, then you ought to comply with the law, and do so without throwing a, as Missy stated it, "hissy fit". Think of the potential dangers of having radium in such close proximity to your home. I trust you do not wish to die a painful death of radiation poisoning and/or cancer. I would request, on behalf of your family, that you desist with your foul mood and devote your energies to another worthwhile project. I might also remind you that you are thirteen and a junior in college. I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

* * *

Dear Amy,

I have already informed Missy that I find her writing to you to be a betrayal of our sibling relationship. I now write to you only to inform you that I do not like your teaming up against me with my sister. I might remind you that I am working tirelessly in college for the eventual betterment of humanity, and without the freedom to conduct whatever experiments I draft, I shall never be able to reach my full potential. This shall be the last letter I send until I have received an apology from you for this betrayal.

Hoping you are horrible,  
Sheldon Cooper, College Student

* * *

Dear Missy,

You have my sincerest apologies that you are stuck living with Sheldon Cooper and his infernal temper. I am writing to inform you that I am currently in the hospital recovering from a tonsillectomy and I did not wish for Sheldon's selfish behavior to interfere with your ability to receive news about me and my welfare. The procedure went well; thus far without complications. The only snag has been the sad demise of my Vietnamese roommate in the middle of the night. I will keep you informed of the developments of my recovery, but my letters may be sporadic. I am only able, now, to write due to the fact that I was able to persuade my mother to go eat lunch in the cafeteria. I have bribed one of the nurse's assistants, with this week's allowance, to take this letter to the post office for me. I look forward to our future correspondence.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

* * *

Dear Amy,

I am distressed that you did not inform me of your tonsillectomy. After having received a punch in the arm by Missy, a slap on the back of the head by my mother, and a distressing phone call from Meemaw, I have come to the conclusion that perhaps I was wrong to be angry with you. It has been pointed out to me that perhaps you only had my welfare in mind when you drafted your letter. As such, I am willing to forgive you and put this whole incident behind us.

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper

P.S. Kindly do not keep your medical emergencies from me again.

* * *

Dear Sheldon,

Your sister, mother, and Meemaw were correct. I did have your best interest at heart. However, I do not believe your previous letter contained the words "I am sorry". Until I read those words, I will not consider putting the incident behind us. I look forward to your apology.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

P.S. So long as you remain obstinate, you will continue to find out about my medical emergencies from a third party.

* * *

Dear Amy,

Fine. I am sorry.

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper

* * *

**A/N: Thank you as always for reading. I'm going to assume that the drop in the number of reviews that I received is because you all are studying hard for your exams. But if you ARE reading the story, as a writer it really gives me an ego boost to receive a review. Otherwise it's just too easy to assume that only the 9 people who reviewed actually enjoyed the chapter. I do realize this is coming a mere day after my previous chapter, but even so, the number of reviews dropped off...and reviews are generally motivating to me. For those that choose to review, I thank you in advance. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: It seems like every time I have plans to update quickly, the universe sees fit to foil them. First I had a touch of writer's block, then I was busy, then I sort of went into a Shamy coma...I could have used Someone's medical knowledge to help me get out of the coma sooner. Anyways, talk about a ramble. Thanks for the reviews. :) So again, the "#####" after a line break indicates a time jump. At the point of this first letter, a year or so has passed and they're both 14. I hope you enjoy. :)**

**Chapter 7**

Dear Sheldon,

You have my most sincere congratulations on receiving your B.S.! While I have yet to start high school, you have already received your first degree. Please enjoy the enclosed box of Red Vines on me.

Speaking of high school, I have decided, in an effort to improve the likelihood that I am able to procure a friend upon entering the ninth grade (and also because I would like the opportunity to wear "flip flops"), to sever the webbing between my toes. As you know, I have, on more than one occasion, requested that my mother take me to a doctor to have the procedure performed, but she seems strangely against the idea. It is especially strange when you consider her now, almost, constant harping for me to find a male companion with which to pair bond. I remind her that I am but fourteen, but she insists that it is normal for girls my age to find males attractive and to wish for their affections. Her assertion is baffling to me, given that she has repeatedly stated her wishes that I maintain my self respect for as long as possible. (Though precisely what she thinks I would do to lose my self respect, she will not say). She really is a swirling mass of contradiction in that regard…but how did I end up discussing this? My apologies.

To get back on topic, I believe I can use the nitrous oxide from cans of whipped cream as my anesthetic...I am considering writing to Missy to request her help in the art of friend making. Despite the fact that she unnecessarily bullied you and I in our youth, she has since been very nice, and has proven herself adept at making friends. To date, the only friend I have been able to procure is you. Not that I begrudge our friendship, but as you live several states away, you are not able to provide the daily companionship necessary to ward off the loneliness of rejection by my peers…I have nothing further to report. I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

P.S. What are your plans for graduate school?

* * *

Dear Amy,

I find myself completely baffled by the ramblings in your previous letter. In the now seven years which we have been corresponding, we have never discussed a topic so prosaic as romantic pair bonding, and I would like to keep it that way. I can only assume, given your age, that your letter was the result of hormonal shifts due to impending menstruation. For that reason, I shall forgive you.

Since you brought it up, however, I have had ample opportunity to study my peers while in college, and I can't count the number times I thought to myself, "Who needs extracurricular drugs when lusting after females can dull your brain just as effectively?" (Although of course I can count the number of times I thought that, as I have an eidetic memory…it was 473 times.) As I have no wish to dull my remarkable brain, I have decided to dedicate my life to the pursuit of scientific discovery. (As an aside, I too am baffled by what your mother could be referencing. I asked Missy, but she only laughed and rolled her eyes, not answering the question.)

But enough of that. How very interesting that you should come up with such a plan to perform surgery on your own feet. Please keep me informed on the results…although why you should wish to wear flip flops is beyond me.

As for my plans for graduate school, they are the same as they have always been: to get a PhD in Physics by the age of 16. I am told this will be difficult to accomplish, but, as I reminded my advisor on multiple occasions, I cannot be measured by the same rules as others before me. I have no doubt that I can accomplish this.

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper, B.S.

* * *

Dear Sheldon,

Your deduction that my "ramblings", as you call them, are the result of my menstruation is both insulting and accurate. I propose the following: I will refrain from "prosaic" ramblings if you will refrain from mentioning my menses. Also, as neither of us understands what my mother was referencing, I am of the belief that it is not worth our time, and will not spend further time speculating.

As for your decision to dedicate yourself to science, I begin to think the same would work well for me. I have not had the ample opportunity, which you have had, to study the young adult paradigm, but I can tell you, from my own observations, that your conclusion that lusting after the opposite sex dulls ones mental faculties is certainly not limited to college attendees. Many of my fellow female classmates seem to spend an inordinate amount of time discussing their attraction to the males in our classes. While I am not opposed to the general idea of pair bonding, the apparent obsession which my fellow classmates have with romance is completely illogical.

As to your inquiries regarding my foot surgery, everything went well. It was more painful than I expected, but it would seem that my feet have healed nicely and that there will be minimal to no scarring. My mother was very upset when she discovered what I had done, but once my feet started healing, she grew to like the idea. She now has it in her head to take me shoe shopping. I suppose I shall have to let her.

Since it is now summer time, but I have not yet had the opportunity to start catching up on research, I have nothing else new to report. I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

* * *

Dear Amy,

I agree to your proposal, although I would like to point out that your very next paragraph continued discussing the very prosaic ramblings you stated you would avoid, even adding in shoe shopping in the following paragraph. If this proposal is going to work then you will have to be more stringent in your execution.

I really have nothing else to add. Perhaps I shall go play the ever classic _Super Mario Brothers_ on my Nintendo. After all, spending an afternoon with Mario is never a bad idea. I might even make it an affair, and drink some Strawberry Quik.

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper, B.S.

* * *

Dear Sheldon,

I find that I am not the only one discussing prosaic topics…but I see that this could turn into a rather lengthy argument, in which neither side gives ground to the other. How about this? We are both allowed to discuss prosaic topics of interest to us. That way you can ramble on about video games and infantile beverages and I can ramble about romantic pair bonding. (To which I might add, my supposed ramblings make more sense, given that you _are_ a boy and might, in the future, be able to help me if and/or when I have problems with the opposite sex; whereas I am not a player of video games and can offer no assistance to you in the future.) The caveat to my proposition is that in the return letter we are both obliged to make at least one favorable remark about the other's ramblings. Discussions may be entered upon, but will not be required.

I'll start the ball rolling. As you know, I am not a video game player. Therefore, it should come as no surprise to you that I have never played _Super Mario Brothers_. I request your explanation on why it is never a bad idea. I would assume that if, for example, you had an exam the next day, choosing to spend the entire afternoon prior playing a video game would indeed be a bad idea. Also, I am happy you are still enjoying Strawberry Quik all these years later. I find the beverage too saccharine for my taste. I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,  
Amy Farrah Fowler

* * *

Dear Amy,

I accept your proposal, although your assertion that your ramblings make more sense than mine is infinitely flawed. However, I am willing to let it go and continue on with our normal discussions.

In regards to playing _Super Mario Brothers_, I was not speaking literally. As you stated yourself, there are times when playing Mario would not be recommended. I simply meant to imply that if one wishes to engage in an afternoon of video game playing, then _Super Mario Brothers_ is an excellent way to spend it.

As for your assertion that Strawberry Quik is too saccharine, I can only reply that your taste buds must be flawed. It is my favorite pink beverage. Both it and Mario remind me happy times during my childhood, which, as you know, were few and far between.

I can already tell that this summer is going to pass painfully slow. Despite my repeatedly writing the dean of the college to request that graduate school begin in the summer, he did not see fit to have any classes available for me, so I shall have to wait until the fall semester to begin. I suppose in the meantime, I will while away the hours at the college library. I enjoy reading the dissertations of those who came before me. It's all usually derivative work, but occasionally you can find a nugget of originality.

Hoping you are well,  
Sheldon Cooper, B.S.

* * *

################

Dear Sheldon,

I have some wonderful news! I have just discovered that, despite my parents wishes for me to spend a full four years in high school, I shall be able to complete my required credits a full year early. I realize of course that graduating from high school at seventeen is nothing compared to obtaining a graduate degree at sixteen, but I am very excited for the opportunity to begin properly studying neurobiology. Also, thanks to my careful planning, several of the courses I have taken already in my first two years will count as both high school and college credit, thus providing me with several of my general education credits. It is looking like I will not only begin college at seventeen, but that I shall do so with an entire year's worth of college credits under my belt.

Speaking of wonderful news, lest I do the unthinkable and down play your own wonderful news, congratulations on receiving your doctorate. Please accept the care package which came with the letter as my gift. I hope you enjoy the Red Vines, Strawberry Quik powder, and _Mario Kart 64_.

I have a favor to ask of you; one which will require you to do virtually nothing, but which will help me a great deal. I would like to request your permission to remove the slash in boy/friend and inform my classmates, extended family, and mother, that you are my outright boyfriend. Lest you worry that your correspondence with me has led to my falling in love with you, let me assure you that it would be entirely a ruse. Several of my classmates have taunted me for my current lack of a pair bond and I believe that I can stop their taunting by showing the letters we share as proof that I have a boyfriend. The same applies to my mother, whom is still of the belief that I should be pair bonded with a male of my age. Should you agree to my proposal, my only other request would be a changing to your signature. I will leave the choice of how to change it up to you. Also, so you are not alarmed unnecessarily, let me please inform you now that the signature which I will be using from this point forward is merely to keep up the ruse. I ask that you not take it as a sign of my undying love.

I have no more news worthy of sharing…unless you count hairy knuckles as a topic worthy of sharing. Long story. I'd rather not get into it. I look forward to your reply.

Love,  
Amy xoxo

* * *

Dear Amy,

You letter left me completely flabbergasted. I had initially intended to refuse to comply outright, but unfortunately for me, Missy is rather nosey, grabbed your letter off my desk, and, after reading it, insisted that I comply with your wishes. I do not see what use the ruse will serve, but I fear for the safety of my brain should I refuse and have Missy slap me "upside the head", as she has threatened. From this point forward you are allowed to remove the slash from boy/friend. Do not, however, think that this means I will refer to you as anything other than my girl/friend.

Fondest Regards,  
Sheldon Cooper, B.S., Ph.D

P.S. Thank you for the congratulatory care package.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading. There is one more chapter of letters left. Please remember to review. Many thanks. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry about the delay in updates! The Shamy coma made it really difficult to write. I wouldn't call it writer's block, because I knew what I wanted to write, I just couldn't get the verbiage to come out correctly. It was like I had dropped 50 IQ points or something. :) Another reminder that "######" after a line break indicates a time jump. This first letter starts 5 years after the last. Please enjoy. :)**

**Chapter 8**

Dear Sheldon,

Well, it would appear that, as they say, "the jig is up". After five years of successfully fooling my mother into believing I am in a long distance relationship with you, she has now stated her belief that it is improbable for me to be in a long distance relationship with someone I haven't seen since I was seven and with whom I "don't even bother to email or call". I tried explaining, yet again, our mutual belief that letter writing has a certain charm and whimsy, but she refused to accept the explanation this time. It is her belief that I need a "real" relationship. After an hour of quarreling, we reached an agreement where I will go on a date at least once per year. In exchange I will be allowed to use her George Foreman grill. The obvious downside to all of this is actually finding someone to date once per year. I hope your life is currently more favorable than mine.

I look forward to your reply,  
Amy

* * *

###############

Dear Amy,

When I last wrote you, I was facing the prospect of finding a new roommate. I am happy to report that, after a long and tedious search, I have found an acceptable candidate. His name is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, and he is an experimental physicist (a minor flaw which I am willing to overlook). He was the only applicant to pass all three intellectual barriers put before him, and he put up very little fuss over the particulars of the roommate agreement.

There is one very big flaw in his character (aside from his choice of career specialty), which I believe could lead to a fair amount of contention in the future. He likes _Babylon 5_. As I have already regaled you with the abundant reasons as to why the show is so horrible, I shan't bore you further with them. Suffice it to say, our first squabble was a result of Leonard's insistence that he be allowed to watch the program. I won the argument, of course, but it is not likely to be the last time which I will have to argue my disdain for the show.

On the positive side, as Leonard owns a car, and we both work at Cal Tech, I will no longer have to find alternative methods of getting to work. Additionally, he enjoys comic books, _Star Wars, Star Trek, _and really most other forms of science fiction. If I had been searching for another friend, he would certainly have fit the bill.

But, to return to the negative side, Leonard appears to be a social butterfly. I walked into our living room the other day to find two complete strangers sitting on a couch (which had not been there when I had left the apartment). One was an astrophysicist, from India, who goes by the name of Dr. Rajesh Koothrapali, and the other is a mere engineer, with only a master's degree, named Howard Wolowitz. It appears they also work at Cal Tech, and Leonard took it upon himself, without asking my opinion I might add, to befriend them. And that's not to mention Leonard having purchased the aforementioned couch without my input. When I explained to him that we already had furniture, he scoffed and replied they were lawn chairs. (This one likes stating the obvious.) Despite my arguing that that the lack of seating was by design, he merely brushed my concerns aside. It appears I will now have to deal with having visitors in my living room on a regular basis. I am not happy about that prospect.

How goes your current research? Last you wrote, you were studying the lasting effects of LSD on the brains of former hippies. I hope the information you are obtaining is garnering good results. I have nothing else to add.

Regards,  
Sheldon

* * *

Dear Sheldon,

Thank you for your inquiries into my research. It has indeed been very informative. As it is too early to tell what the final results shall be, I will refrain from boring you with the particulars.

I am happy to hear that you have found an acceptable roommate (although I fail to see how his chosen profession is any different from yours). It does indeed sound like you have your hands full, but I must admit to being somewhat jealous of your current state of popularity. You may think that it is a bad thing to have so many people invading your space, but perhaps you may take this as an opportunity to hone your social skills. As you have aspirations of winning a Nobel Prize, you had best learn to be socially adept. All prizes are but a popularity contest, and the Nobel Prize is no different. You can't expect to be awarded the prize if you have made no friends your field. I look forward to hearing how this roommate turns out. Here's hoping he is more worthy of your time and effort than your previous roommate.

I attended my yearly date last Thursday evening. I had had little hope that it would turn out pleasant, and sadly I was correct. I don't know why I continue to allow my mother to find men for me to date. This one didn't even know the difference between mirror neurons and mismatch negativity. I think I might employ the pseudo-science of a dating website from now on.

I look forward to your reply,  
Amy

* * *

Dear Amy,

I really have nothing of note to say, but wanted to let you know that I have taken your advice under advisement. Perhaps I will attempt to befriend Leonard and his two new friends. Granted, it will be difficult to befriend the engineer with naught but a master's degree, but perhaps I can designate him as a treasured acquaintance, rather than a friend. I will keep you informed of the results of the experiment.

Regards,  
Sheldon

P.S. Your date sounds awful. I suggest you never see him again.

* * *

#################

Dear Sheldon,

I was very intrigued by your last letter. This Penny you spoke of sounds delightful. I find it intriguing that Leonard should immediately become captivated by her. By your description, she sounds perfectly attractive, and yet she does not seem to exhibit the same, if you'll excuse my language, "bitchiness" associated with those of the attractive elite. I am interested to hear whether or not Leonard manages to seal the deal with her. Please keep me informed.

I begin to grow jaded with dating. This year's supposed "match" was yet another disappointment. I won't even bother with the details. I still hold on to the slim hope that perhaps one day I shall be paired with someone interesting.

I look forward to your reply,  
Amy

* * *

Dear Amy,

I don't see why you should be so intrigued by Penny, as there is nothing remarkable about her, unless you count her blatant disregard for cleanliness. I could not believe the state of her apartment. I couldn't even sleep at night, knowing that that mess was over there, beckoning me to come clean it. I attempted to do Penny a favor by cleaning her apartment for her, but she was most ungrateful. Leonard reckons cleaning a person's apartment in the middle of the night, without their permission, is generally viewed as creepy. I can't say I follow the logic.

Additionally, Leonard's mind has not been with us since the introduction of Penny into our lives. He continually day dreams about becoming pair bonded with her and creating imaginary children which are, in his words, "smart and beautiful." I find his blatant disregard for his chances at pair bonding laughable. Also, despite my wishes to the contrary, he keeps inviting her over for meal times, and yet never asks her to pay. He even gave her the password to our wifi, thus allowing her to use our bandwidth without proper compensation. He claims we are merely being good neighbors, but again I can't say I follow his logic.

Howard also wishes to vie for Penny's affections, and, if I cared at all, I'd almost find it amusing how she continually rejects his advances. Raj, as you know, says nothing to Penny, given his selective mutism. It's too bad you aren't here. I'm sure you'd find Raj's condition very interesting to study. If anything, you could attach electrodes to his brain and then attempt to hold a conversation. I'm sure the results would be both informative and amusing.

Regards,  
Sheldon

P.S. I apologize for the gossip-like manner of this letter. I am currently still working on my research and have nothing of note to provide. In my next letter I shall work to remedy that.

P.P.S. As your yearly date was yet another failure, I suggest never speaking to him again.

* * *

#####################

Dear Sheldon,

I am very sad to hear that your social paradigm has been upset. However, I am sure there will be a way for both Leonard and Penny to figure into your life. Just because they broke up does not mean that they both won't be able to spend time with you, albeit not at the same time. Perhaps they shall be able to work out their differences and remain friends. In fact, I suggest that you make the suggestion to one or the both of them. You all live right across the hall, and you wouldn't want it to remain awkward between you. Additionally, as you stated in your previous letter, you made so many accommodations to fit Penny into your life and it would be a pity to have all those hours of effort wasted.

I have some interesting news to share with you. As you know, I normally share all the significant details of my life with you, but I confess there is one which I have not, until now, told you about. A few months ago I was approached regarding a possible position at a research facility in Pasadena. The position was not available at the time, but the research team requested me specifically, assuming the necessary funding could be obtained. They had read my last published article and were apparently very impressed. It took several months for things to become solidified, but I can now tell you happily, that I will be moving to Pasadena in a few short weeks. I would request your help in finding an adequate apartment to rent, as you will know the best locations within the area. I must admit to being very excited at the opportunity to finally see you again after all these years.

I look forward to your reply,  
Amy

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading. Hang on to your hats folks. This story is just getting started and we are now entering Phase 3: The Reunion. Reviews are _so_ appreciated, that I can't even quite describe. Really. Honestly. They make me happy and a happy writer is a quick writer. So please drop me a review. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you most kindly for the reviews. And to two anon's, (1) Roonil Wazlib has got to be the best name ever. Hilarious. (2) Someone, I totally DID wonder if your brain had been fried by Finals. :)... FYI, before we get started, all the characters will have some development, but as the story is told solely through Sheldon's POV, they'll happen mainly in the background of the Shamy story. Please enjoy. :)**

**Chapter 9**

"Wait a minute." Penny closed her eyes and held up a hand. "You mean to tell me that we've known each other for three years and you've never _once_ mentioned you've been writing to a girl since you were seven?"

Sheldon blinked at her. "It was never relevant to the conversation."

Penny scoffed. "Never relevant?" She turned to Leonard. "When I asked you what Sheldon's _deal_ was, it never occurred to you to mention that he's been writing letters to a girl for over twenty years?"

Leonard shrugged. "He claims it's platonic…and you know him. It was perfectly reasonable to assume he doesn't have feelings for someone he hasn't seen in twenty plus years."

"Twenty-three to be exact."

"Dt dt dt dt dt." Penny held up a finger to silence Sheldon, still looking at Leonard. "Um, no. If he is writing letters to a girl for twenty plus…"

"Twenty-three," Sheldon cut in.

"…for twenty-three years, especially if he hasn't seen her in twenty-three years, then it's _reasonable_ to assume that he _does_ have feelings for her."

"Excuse me," Sheldon started to say.

"Zzzt!" Penny gave Sheldon a look, indicating that he should remain silent.

Leonard scoffed. "Oh come on. We're talking about Sheldon here. Since _when_ has he ever shown interest in the opposite sex."

Penny raised her eyebrows. "Um, since _when_ has Sheldon been writing to a girl for twenty-three years? Of course he doesn't have any interest in the opposite sex. He only has interest in the girl he's known since _childhood_."

Sheldon cut in. "Would you two stop talking like I'm not here?"

"Quiet Sheldon," they both replied.

"Oh come on," Leonard said. "How can he have feelings for a girl he's never seen as an adult?"

Penny gave Leonard a look. "Are you saying that looks are the only thing that matter?"

Leonard scoffed. "You know that's not what I mean."

"How could I know that's not what you mean, when you just said that he can't have feelings for a girl he's never seen as an adult?"

"Would you two stop arguing?" Sheldon gestured vaguely with one hand. "Isn't the whole reason you two broke up so that you could stop arguing?"

"We're not arguing," they both replied.

Leonard turned to Sheldon. "And we broke up because I said I love you and Penny didn't love me back."

Penny narrowed her eyes. "You know that's not how it happened, Leonard."

"Pfft. Do I? Because last I checked, that's exactly what happened." Leonard narrowed his eyes back at Penny.

"Enough!" Sheldon exclaimed, balling his hands at his sides. Leonard and Penny both looked over at Sheldon, surprised. "I am _trying_ to tell you something important, but as usual all the two of you can talk about is your failed relationship."

Leonard and Penny looked at each other sheepishly and then back at Sheldon. Penny put on a quick smile and patted Sheldon's arm. "We're sorry, Sweetie. You're right. This isn't about us."

"Yeah…sorry Sheldon."

Sheldon sighed. "_Thank_ you." He cleared his throat. "As I was saying, I have had regular correspondence with Amy since the age of seven, and in her most recent letter, she stated that she will be moving to Pasadena within the next couple of weeks."

Penny cut Sheldon off. "Amy's moving to Pasadena?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Yes. That's what I just said."

Penny grinned. "That's great news! You'll finally be able to meet her!...or…re-meet her. Oh!" She turned to Leonard and grabbed his arm. "What if Sheldon and Amy start dating? How cute would that be?"

Sheldon looked heavenward. "Dear _lord_…Penny." He looked over at her and sighed. "Amy and I are _not_ going to start dating. We are merely friends."

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "Oh really? And what about those five years you supposedly pretended to be dating?"

Penny turned to Leonard with her mouth open. "Oh. I see. So, not only did you know that he was writing this Amy since he was seven, but you knew that they supposedly 'pretended' to be dating for five years, and you still didn't think he had feelings for her?"

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah…when you put it like that…"

"I do _not_ have feelings for Amy Farrah Fowler!" Sheldon exclaimed. "I don't even know what she looks like."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Sheldon. Don't tell me you agree with Leonard. So what if you don't know what she looks like? Would her looks affect how you feel about her?"

Sheldon sighed. "This conversation is becoming tedious." He looked between the two of them. "Can the two of you please focus long enough on the matter at hand? I'm trying to tell you something important and yet every time I start to speak I get interrupted."

Penny chuckled and patted Sheldon's arm again. (He hated when she did that.) "Sorry Sweetie. What else did you want to tell us?"

Sheldon cleared his throat again. "I was going to request your help in driving me around to find a suitable place of residence for Amy." He turned to Leonard. "Additionally, Amy will be arriving a day before her furniture, so I am taking this time to formally announce that we will be having a visitor staying with us."

Penny's mouth dropped open and Leonard frowned, looking confused. "Amy's going to be staying at our apartment?"

"Yes."

"Where is she sleeping?"

"In my bed."

Penny and Leonard both stared at Sheldon for a few moments. Penny spoke up first. "I'm sorry, what?"

Sheldon knew his intelligence was superior to both of the two people standing in front of him, but even so, he didn't see what was so confusing about his statement.

"Amy will be sleeping in my bed."

Penny and Leonard looked at each other and then back at Sheldon. This time it was Leonard who spoke up first. "Um…with you?"

Sheldon was shocked. "Of _course_ not. I'll be sleeping on the couch."

Penny and Leonard looked at each other again and said, "Ooooh."

Sheldon looked back and forth between the two of them. "Why on _earth_ would you think Amy and I would share a bed?"

Penny chuckled. "Oh Sweetie…" She turned to Leonard. "Maybe we should get him a book to read."

Sheldon frowned. "How will reading a book answer my question about why you think Amy and I would share a bed?"

Leonard raised his eyebrows and lightly patted Sheldon's arm. (What was with all the touching from these two?) "Nevermind."

Sheldon couldn't be sure, but he thought he detected sarcasm…or perhaps it was condescension. He shrugged. He didn't really care either way.

He looked at the two of them. "So?"

Leonard and Penny looked at each other and then back at Sheldon, both looking confused.

"So what?" Penny asked.

"Good grief." Talking to these two was like trying to talk to a hyperactive gerbil. "Can you drive me around to look at apartments for Amy?"

"Oh! Yeah, that." Penny nodded. "Sure, I can take you one day."

Leonard looked as if he was about to refuse, but Penny gave him a look. He sighed. "Yeah, sure, I can help as well…assuming you don't find an apartment when Penny takes you first."

Penny glared at him. "Thanks for that."

Leonard smiled back. "Any time."

* * *

As expected, the search for a suitable apartment for Amy took several days of driving, viewing, and rejecting. Penny thought the apartment on Euclid was "cute", and didn't understand why Sheldon vetoed it based on its lack of nearby bus stops. Leonard told Sheldon that the two bedroom apartment on Vine was perfectly suitable, and well within Amy's price range, and didn't understand why Sheldon vetoed it based on the fact that Amy didn't need two bedrooms. Leonard again claimed confusion when Sheldon vetoed the large studio apartment for not having _enough_ bedrooms. It was only after Leonard threatened to stop driving him around that Sheldon finally found something suitable. It was a one bedroom apartment, within good distance of a bus stop, and was, in fact, not all that far from 2311 Los Robles.

Sheldon wrote about the particulars to Amy, scanning and sending the necessary paperwork for her to sign, as well. They had finally taken up emailing, since time was an issue, and since Amy may be on the road during part of their correspondence. Sheldon's friends all asked him, each on separate occasions, why he and Amy didn't just use the telephone, and no matter how many times he tried explaining that he and Amy preferred electronic communications, they continued to repeat the question. It was very irritating.

After several weeks of emails and faxing of signed leases, the day which Amy was scheduled to arrive at Sheldon's apartment arrived. He woke up early, his stomach feeling funny. He wasn't quite sure of the cause. His previous day's meals had all been usual, nothing out of the ordinary. Even the timing of said meals had been usual. He didn't feel nauseated either. But his stomach most definitely felt funny.

The only time he could recall feeling similar was just as he was preparing to accept his award a few months back. He had been nervous that time…but what did he have to feel nervous about now? He couldn't think of a reason. Amy was his oldest friend, and he was excited by the prospect of seeing her again. His stomach fluttered. Odd.

Sheldon glanced at the clock and decided to get up and start preparing for Amy's arrival. The itinerary she emailed him had her scheduled to arrive at half past six this evening. Sheldon had emailed her yesterday evening to find out what she would like to have for dinner. They were ordering Thai food.

Sheldon turned on his computer to check his email, hoping that Amy thought to check hers before she started driving. He knew it was a little early, but her itinerary had stated that she would begin driving at 5:30 a.m. He opened his email account and was happy to see that Amy had replied.

After confirming Amy's meal request, he went out into the living room to watch some television before breakfast. He soon found, however, that he could not keep his attention fixed on the television. He kept glancing at his watch to see if it was time for breakfast.

This was the first time he had ever wished to deviate from his schedule, but he was anxious to begin his day; he had many errands to run before Amy arrived. He contemplated the pros and cons of eating breakfast early. On the one hand, if he ate early he could get started early on his errand running; not to mention he was already hungry and his allotted breakfast time was still forty-five minutes away. On the other hand, if he ate breakfast a full forty-five minutes early then his entire digestive system would be forty-five minutes off for the next twenty-four hours at least.

After glancing at his watch yet again, he made a decision. He was going to eat breakfast early. Consequences be darned. He happily got up and headed for the kitchen, grabbing a cereal at the high fiber end of the shelf. If he was going to deviate from his schedule, wreaking havoc on his digestive system, then the least he could do is maintain a high fiber diet.

After breakfast and a shower, Sheldon ran his errands. Among the list of things to do was to buy a variety of feminine hygiene products, some yogurt he had read about that is specifically designed to regulate the female bowel, and, in case the yogurt works, some scented candles.

After running his variety of errands, he returned home to find Raj and Howard present in his living room. As he walked through the door, carrying his bags, they were both huddled around Leonard's computer screen, whispering to each other.

Sheldon frowned in confusion. "What are you doing?"

Both Raj and Howard whipped their heads around quickly, as Howard immediately closed the lap top.

"Nothing important," said Raj in a rush.

"Nope! Nothing important," Howard agreed.

Sheldon shrugged. He didn't really care what they were doing.

He went to put away his groceries and other items. He then spent a good portion of the afternoon thoroughly cleaning the apartment, and then finalizing the welcome packet for Amy. His stomach continued to bother him, but, as it had not interfered with his eating habits, he chose to ignore it.

When he had completed all tasks, he looked at the time. 4:30 in the afternoon. Amy was not scheduled to arrive for another two hours. Hmm. He looked around his room. What else could he do? He looked at his watch again. 4:31. Well, that was a fruitless exercise.

He went out into the living room to join Leonard, Raj, and Howard, who were currently electronically bowling. He sat down on his spot, declining to take part in the virtual bowling. He watched for a couple of minutes, but his eyes glazed over as he took to wondering where Amy was. He hoped she didn't encounter bad traffic…he would hate to postpone dinner when his dietary schedule was already out of whack.

He tapped his fingers on his knees, then glanced at his watch again. 4:42. Perhaps he should brush his teeth. He got up and walked to the bathroom.

After brushing his teeth he looked at his watch again. 4:46.

He walked back into his room, double, and triple, checking that everything was in its correct place. He opened the welcome packet and checked to make sure all the necessary documents were provided. He even took them out and read through them all, checking for grammatical and spelling errors. After he was satisfied that everything was as it should be he glanced at his watch again. 5:08.

He sighed and walked back out into the living room, sitting again in his spot, watching the other three bowl…he tapped his fingers on his knees again…he looked at his watch. 5:17.

He sighed and got up to get a bottle of water and then went back to sit down, to resume watching the virtual bowling…he tapped his fingers on his knees…he took a sip of his water…he looked at his watch. 5:22.

This was maddening! He sighed again.

Leonard looked over at him. "Are you ok Sheldon?"

Sheldon looked at his lap, fidgeting with his water bottle. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You keep sighing…maybe you should play a round with us…it'll help keep your mind off of Amy."

Sheldon considered for a moment, looking at his watch again. 5:23. They weren't scheduled to leave to pick up the food until 5:45. But what if they ran into traffic and didn't get back in time? Maybe they had better leave now, just to be safe.

"I think we should go get the food."

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "Really? What time is it?"

Sheldon looked at his watch. "It's 5:24"

"You want to leave twenty minutes early?"

Sheldon nodded. "Yes. What if there is traffic? Or what if someone arrives ahead of us and places an abnormally large order and we are forced to wait an extra twenty minutes and then Amy arrives and I'm not here and the only people available to welcome her to our home are Koothrapali and Wolowitz and she thinks that I trust the two of them to be able to welcome her in my absence? Yes, we should most definitely leave now."

Leonard gave Sheldon a curious look. "Ok…we can leave now."

Leonard went to his room to grab his jacket. Sheldon looked over at Raj and Howard to find they were both staring open mouthed at him. He frowned. "Why are you staring?"

Raj closed his mouth, the corners of his mouth curling down, slowly shaking his head. "No reason…" He and Howard looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and then resumed their bowling.

Leonard came back and he and Sheldon started towards the door. As Sheldon was closing the door behind him he heard Raj say to Howard, "Have you ever seen Sheldon so worked up over a person?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. The least they could do was wait until he was out of earshot before talking about him. They had commented on his Vulcan hearing enough to know that he'd be able to hear them.

By the time he and Leonard returned with the food, it was 6:18. He had most certainly made the right decision to leave early. But he still had twelve minutes before Amy's arrival. He walked to the kitchen to get plates and bring them to the coffee table.

"Since when do we eat off of plates?" Howard asked.

"Since today," Sheldon responded.

"Why?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Why not? It will make for a more pleasant eating environment if we were eating off of plates rather than out of take-out boxes."

Penny came running in, dressed in her Cheesecake Factory uniform. "Did I miss it? Is she here yet?"

Leonard smiled. "Nope. Have a seat." He patted the seat next to him. Penny walked over, grabbing a plate and starting to help herself to the food.

"Ugh. Penny!" Sheldon said, exasperated. "You can't serve yourself yet. We have to wait for Amy to get here first and we still have…" He glanced at his watch and heard a knock on the door.

Everyone looked at the door. Sheldon blinked, looking back at his watch. 6:27. Amy was early. As he looked at the door, his heart started beating irregularly and his stomach problem got markedly worse. He should probably schedule a doctor's appointment in the morning.

"Um…Sheldon?"

He looked over at Penny. "Yes?"

"Get the door, Sweetie."

"Oh. Of course." He walked over and opened the door.

**A/N: :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you so very much for all the reviews. I know that ending was mean of me, but anyone who's read my other fic, knows I enjoy a good cliff hanger. But since you guys were awesome and reviewed so quickly and awesomely, I am rewarding you with a new chapter a day later. I'll be fairly busy this week so I didn't want to leave you hanging for too long. Anyway, please enjoy. :)**

**Chapter 10**

Sheldon opened the door to the apartment and stood blinking at the person on the other side. Amy Farrah Fowler looked exactly as he remembered her. She still had on a sweater over a button down shirt, tucked into a plaid skirt, with tights, and Mary Jane shoes; she still had straight, brown hair, held back by a single barrette; she still had green eyes behind black, framed glasses.

They both smiled at the same time. Sheldon's stomach problem reached maximum intensity before completely dissipating.

"Welcome Amy Farrah Fowler. It is so nice to see you again."

Amy nodded once. "It is nice to see you again as well, Sheldon Cooper."

Sheldon stood aside and gestured for Amy to come inside. She grabbed her overnight bag and walked into the apartment.

"Amy," Sheldon began to gesture to each of his friends, "this is Rajesh, Howard, Leonard, and Penny. Everyone, this is Amy Farrah Fowler."

Amy nodded once and said, "Hello."

Everyone said, "Hello," in return.

Sheldon gestured to Amy's overnight bag. "Would you like me to show you to the room you will be occupying this evening?"

Amy nodded. "Please."

"Allow me," Sheldon said, taking Amy's bag from her hand and smiling at her. She smiled in return.

"Oh!" Sheldon gave Amy an apologetic look. "Where are my manners? May I offer you a beverage? Or, since I know that traveling can be difficult on the digestive system, a bowel regulating yogurt?"

Amy looked thoughtful for a moment. "While the yogurt is tempting, I believe I would rather have a tepid water, please."

Sheldon nodded. "Of course." He set down her bag and walked into the kitchen. "It's a good thing I had the foresight to remove some water bottles from the refrigerator. I was unsure at what temperature you currently enjoyed your water, and thought it was probably best to prepare for all eventualities."

Amy nodded. "Shrewd."

"Would you prefer the bottle or a glass?"

Amy thought for a moment. "I believe the bottle will be fine."

Sheldon smiled again and brought the bottle to Amy. "Here you go."

He picked her bag back up and started walking towards the hallway. He glanced over at his friends, all of whom were staring silently at him and Amy.

As he was about to round the corner in the hallway, he heard Penny whisper to Leonard, "Have you ever seen Sheldon smile at a girl like that?"

Leonard replied, "I've never seen Sheldon look at anyone, or anything, like that."

Sheldon rolled his eyes as he reached his room, opening the door, and indicating that Amy should enter first.

As she entered, Amy looked around and said, "This looks very similar to your bedroom back in Texas."

Sheldon nodded. "Yes. It's nice isn't it?" He set her bag on his bed and turned to her. "Would you like a tour of the features of the room now, or would you prefer to eat dinner and converse with my friends first?"

Amy shrugged. "I believe since we're already here, I'll take the tour first."

"Excellent choice. Ok, first, windows. Conventional." He walked over to the window to demonstrate. "Open. Close. Open. Close. Halfway open…or halfway closed, depending on your philosophical bend." Amy nodded.

Sheldon gestured to the shelving on his right. "Over here is my comic book collection. I know you don't usually read comic books, but feel free to browse. There is a box of disposable reading gloves over here on the night stand."

Amy nodded again. "I doubt I will partake, but I applaud the organization and care of your comic books."

Sheldon nodded back and then said, "Oh!" walking over to his closet and opening the door. "Over here are your emergency provisions. An eight day supply of food and water; a cross bow; season two of _Star Trek: The Original Series_ on a high density flash drive."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "Interesting. You do seem very well prepared."

Sheldon also raised his eyebrows. "Of course."

"One question though."

"Yes?"

"What if there is a disaster that renders all flash drives unusable?"

Sheldon looked at Amy seriously. "Well then, there's no reason to live, is there?"

Amy smiled. "I continue to find your wit, and dedication to _Star Trek,_ amusing."

"Who's being witty? I'm quite serious, I assure you."

Amy nodded, still grinning. "Of course you are."

Sheldon blinked at Amy for a few moments, unsure how to respond. He cleared his throat. "Shall we go eat? I would imagine you are tired after driving all day. We can have dinner, and then you are free to go about your nightly ablutions and retire early."

"Thank you. That would be nice."

Sheldon started to walk out the door, before stopping and turning back around. "I nearly forgot." He walked back over to his bed and grabbed the folder resting on the pillow. "This is your welcome packet. It contains the schedule for the morning, as well as other odds and ends, such as emergency exit routes." He reached under his bed and pulled out a black backpack. "I might as well grab this now."

Amy cocked her head in question.

"It's my backup emergency kit. The exit route from the living room doesn't cross through the bedroom."

Amy nodded. "Oh, of course. I repeat my previous statement. You are very well prepared."

Sheldon shrugged. "You never know when the zombie apocalypse will hit."

He walked to the doorway, and then gestured for Amy to proceed ahead of him. As they were walking back down the hallway Sheldon heard Penny say "Shut up! Are you kidding me?" followed by a chorus of whispered shushing. As he and Amy entered the living room, Howard loudly cleared his throat, and the other three sat up straight and turned around.

Sheldon frowned. What on earth were they talking about? He pointed to Howard, who was sitting in the middle seat on the couch.

"Howard get up."

Howard frowned. "What?"

"Get up."

"Why?"

"Amy needs a place to sit."

"Ah." Howard looked at Raj. "Move."

Raj put his hand to Howard's ear and whispered something. Howard replied with, "I don't know. Sit on the floor."

Raj whispered again in Howard's ear.

"Because…we're shifting to the right."

Raj whispered, yet again, in Howard's ear.

"Just…sit on the floor!"

Raj sighed and moved to the floor, allowing Howard to move to the far right side of the couch. Sheldon gestured to Amy, who had been watching the exchange between Howard and Raj with raised eyebrows. "Please, have a seat."

"Thank you," she replied, going to sit in the middle of the couch.

Sheldon sat down next to her, in his usual spot, and grabbed the remaining two plates, handing one to Amy. They divvied up the food, Sheldon providing Amy with her email ordered entre.

After roughly thirty seconds of silent eating, Penny cleared her throat. "So Amy, Sheldon tells us you two have been friends since you were seven."

"Yes, that's correct."

"So…what was Sheldon like as a kid?"

Amy blinked, looked at Sheldon, then back at Penny. "Very much like he is now."

"No, but…what was he _like_?"

Amy frowned. "I'm afraid I don't understand your question. I believe I stated he is very much similar now."

Penny set down her fork and cleared her throat. "Well…like what did you guys talk about?"

"Depending on the day, our usual topics of conversation ranged from current research in the areas of biology or physics to the various action figures Sheldon collected."

Penny stared for a moment. "Oh…so when you said he was the same, you really meant, exactly the same…"

"Yes."

They all went back to eating in silence.

Raj leaned over and whispered something in Howard's ear.

"Raj would like me to ask you how your drive was Amy."

Amy looked over at Raj. "It was quite long, but otherwise satisfactory. Thank you for asking."

Raj nodded and then they all went back to eating.

After a few more minutes of silence, Penny cleared her throat again. "So Amy, what will you be studying at your new job."

Amy looked at Sheldon, and then back at Penny. "I'm not sure how to answer the question. I'm flattered that you are interested, but Sheldon has informed me that you have only one semester of community college under your belt, and so I don't believe you will be able to comprehend any answer I provide."

Penny looked at Amy for a moment, then nodded once and went back to eating. "I give up. Leonard, you're up."

"Oh…uh…" Leonard cleared his throat. "What made you decide to go into the field of biology, Amy?"

"Actually, I'm in a much more specialized area of biology. Neurobiology. And I entered the field because I have extreme interest in it. I believe Sheldon and I both agreed it was the best option for me when we discussed it as children." She turned to Sheldon and smiled. He returned her smile, remembering the conversation.

"Yes. As Amy had not, at the time, mastered math beyond a fifth grade level, neurobiology seemed a more appropriate option than the field of physics, for example."

Leonard frowned, looking confused. "How old were you?"

They both answered, "Seven."

Howard spoke up. "Let me get this straight. You two decided that Amy shouldn't pursuit a degree in physics because she could only comprehend math at a fifth grade level…when you were seven?"

Sheldon and Amy both looked at Howard.

"Yes," Sheldon replied.

Howard raised his eyebrows and nodded once. "Ok…just checking."

They all returned to eating in silence, yet again, this time remaining silent for the remainder of the meal.

After they finished eating, Amy stood up and turned to Sheldon.

"I believe I would like to begin getting ready for bed. I like to do some light reading before sleeping, and I'm quite tired after several days of traveling."

Sheldon nodded. "Of course." He gestured for her to head towards the hallway.

Amy turned to the rest of them and said, "Thank you for a lovely welcome. Good evening."

There was a chorus of "Good night" in return.

After Amy walked back to his room, Sheldon grabbed both her plate and his, and brought them into the kitchen, washing and putting them away. As he scrubbed he could hear feverish whispering coming from the living room, but chose to ignore it. Likely, the subject matter wouldn't be of interest to him.

As he started to walk back, he heard Penny whisper, "You _have_ to tell him, you guys."

Sheldon frowned. "Tell me what?"

They all looked at him. Howard turned to Penny and said, "Thank you, Penny."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Just tell him."

"Tell me what?" Sheldon repeated, sitting down in his spot. "Is this about Amy?"

Howard sighed. "Ok fine. But look…when we did this, it was before you mentioned that Amy was coming to town."

Sheldon was confused. "Did what Howard?"

Howard fidgeted. "Ok…so Raj and I signed you up for a dating website."

Sheldon snorted. "Why on earth would you do that?"

Raj whispered into Howard's ear. "Yeah…that's not the point. The point is that we entered in all of your information, answered all the questions how you would answer them, and it found a match."

"Please. Even if you could answer any of the questions like I would, the algorithms used by match making sites are complete hokum."

Howard gestured to Sheldon. "That's exactly the answer we gave to the question 'How do you feel about online dating?'"

Sheldon shook his head. "Amy has been using online dating for years, and every person she's ever been matched up with has been a complete waste of her time."

Leonard and Penny both snorted.

Sheldon looked at them and frowned. "What are you two snorting at? It's true. She has been going on regular yearly dates for several years now, and absolutely none of them have turned out well. Every single one of her supposed matches has been a wastrel, not worth her time."

"I'm so happy you phrased it like that," Leonard said, chuckling. "Howard, show him his match."

Howard ran to get Leonard's laptop, but Sheldon protested. "I don't care to see who I've been matched up with, because I can guarantee you that it is going to be someone who is not worth my time. And why should I bother dating anyway? I don't need to add another person into my social paradigm. I'm quite happy with the way things are now."

Howard came back and shoved the laptop at Sheldon. "Just look at the screen, and then tell me that you still think that dating websites are all hokum."

Sheldon rolled his eyes and looked at the screen. He frowned, looking around at all his friends. They were all smirking at him. He looked back at the screen, unsure what to think of the name currently listed as the only match for him.

"What's the matter Sheldon?" Penny said. "Still think that Amy's next date is going to be a waste of her time?"

He glared at Penny, and looked at the screen. No matter how many times he looked away and/or blinked, the name on the screen remained the same: Amy Farrah Fowler.

**A/N: Thank you for reading. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for your patience. I was waiting for Someone to review before posting again... ;) I kid of course, I would never in a million years do that. The fact that I have posted twice in a row the same day Someone reviewed was completely coincidental...or...something to do with large numbers...which I know nothing about really so...yeah. Anyway, between being incredibly busy at work, and having a surprisingly busy social life, I had very little time for writing. Sadly, this next week has the potential to be much the same. Sigh. I'll do my best though to update before another full week passes. :) Oh and lest I forget, Thank you very much to all reviewers. As my motivation waned, I read through your reviews to get me back on track. Ok...longest author's note ever...onward with the show!**

**Chapter 11**

Sheldon sat blinking at the screen for several more moments, unsure of how he felt. Everyone continued to stare at him, apparently waiting for him to make a reply.

It was Penny who spoke again first. "Well?"

He looked over at her. "Well, what?"

Penny rolled her eyes, "Well, what do you think of seeing Amy's name there? Are you going to ask her out?"

Sheldon looked at Penny in surprise. "Why on earth would you think I'd ask Amy on a date?"

Penny looked at the other three, before looking back at Sheldon. "Well…for one thing, because she's clearly the only match for you. It says so right there."

Sheldon scoffed. "Please. Just because some website touts its algorithms as 'science' does not mean that it's true. As I stated before, I find the whole concept to be complete hokum."

Howard spoke up. "Oh, give me a break, Sheldon. What more proof do you need? Clearly you two are a match. We all witnessed it."

Sheldon frowned. "Just what did you all witness? Me welcoming an old friend into my home? That's hardly something on which to base the potentiality of romantic pair bonding. Obviously the dating website would match us. We have a great deal in common."

Penny gestured to Sheldon. "There you go. You just said it. You guys have a lot in common. And you're already comfortable around each other."

"And just what does comfort level have to do with anything?"

Raj jumped up and ran to the refrigerator, presumably to obtain some alcohol, as Penny continued on. "Oh Sweetie, you're so clueless."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I'm not clueless. I simply fail to see how your supposed reasoning affirms whether or not I should ask Amy Farrah Fowler on a date. The only evidence you've given to support your statement is that we have a great deal in common and we're already comfortable with each other. The same could be said of me and Leonard. Are you proposing I ask Leonard out on a date?"

"Dude," Raj interjected, beer in hand, "get over yourself. It's obvious you two like each other."

"Of course we like each other. We've been friends for twenty-three years. We wouldn't have kept up our correspondence if we didn't like each other."

"No," Raj sighed, exasperated. "You two don't just like each other as friends. You, you know…_like_, like each other."

Sheldon stared for a moment. "That sentence doesn't even make sense."

Leonard cleared his throat. "Sheldon." Sheldon looked over. "Let me see if I can help you here. You see, when you opened the door, you and Amy both smiled at each other. Then you, who refuses to do any heavy lifting, ever, offered to carry Amy's bag. When you returned from your room, you made Raj and Howard move so that Amy could sit next to you. _And_, all throughout dinner, you two kept smiling at each other. These are classic symptoms of two people who view each other as potential 'romantic pair bonding' partners, rather than simple un-romantic friends. This data, coupled with the dating website's determination that you and Amy are the best possible match for each other, out of a large pool of potential other mates, is what led us to conclude that you should, as Penny said, ask Amy out on a date."

"Thank you Leonard." Sheldon looked at Penny. "If you had just said that to begin with, you could have saved yourself a lot of time and confusion."

Penny threw her arms up in the air, rolling her eyes. "Ugh. So now that you know what we're saying…"Penny cocked her head to the side, extending her neck, raising her eyebrows, and staring intently at Sheldon.

Sheldon frowned in confusion. "…what?"

"Duuude!" Raj exclaimed. "Are you going to ask Amy out or what?"

Sheldon was surprised. "I thought we already covered this. No."

Howard sat on the edge of his seat. "Oh come on. Why not?"

Sheldon looked around at his friends. "This conversation has long since crossed the line into tedious territory. You all are talking in circles, and, frankly, I don't understand why you're so invested whether Amy and I go on a date, in the first place." He stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to…" then, as he remembered that he was sleeping on the couch tonight, he sat back down, "sit right here, because Amy is currently preparing to sleep in my room." He picked up his water bottle and sat back. "But what I'm _not_ going to do, is participate in this so called 'discussion' further."

The other four looked at Sheldon for a moment, silent. Then Howard turned to the others quickly and said, "So I think Sheldon's kidding himself. What do you all think?"

Sheldon scoffed. "Excuse me…"

Raj held up his hand. "No, dude, you said you weren't participating. The conversation is tedious, remember?" He gestured back to Howard. "Please. Continue."

Sheldon pressed his lips together, irritated, as Howard said, "Right. So what do you think? Kidding himself? Delusional? Or just plain blind?"

Leonard looked thoughtful. "Hmm…having lived with Sheldon, and his inability to see what's right in front of his face, I'm going to say option C. 'Just plain blind.'"

Penny wagged her finger at Leonard, eyes half closed in concentration. "I don't know…I've had many an argument with Sheldon these past few years…I'm going to say he's kidding himself."

Sheldon couldn't keep his mouth closed any longer. "I object to…"

"Zzt!" Penny gave Sheldon a warning look. She used her hand to gesture in a circle. "You're not part of this conversation." She gestured towards Sheldon. "You just sit there and think about physics-y stuff. Leave the conversation to those who don't find it tedious. Ok, Sweetie?" She smiled sweetly, although Sheldon doubted the validity of said sweetness.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. He could only hope that Amy had overheard none of the conversation.

Howard started speaking again. "Well, say what you will, but I'm going with 'delusional.'"

Sheldon's eyes bugged out, and his lips all but disappeared as he pressed them together.

Leonard looked over at him, and started chuckling. "Alright, guys. I think we'd better give it a rest. If we keep going, Sheldon might have an aneurism."

Howard raised his eyebrows. "And that's a bad thing, because…"

Sheldon whipped his head around and glared at Howard.

Howard held up his hands. "Alright, alright. I'll stop…but I still think you're delusional." Sheldon opened his mouth to respond but Howard hopped up. "Would you look at that? Time to go. I promised my mom I'd be back in time to help her take off her makeup." He turned to Raj. "You coming?"

Raj nodded and got up, turning to Sheldon. "It's been a delightful evening. Thank you for inviting us to meet your girlfriend, Sheldon."

Sheldon sighed, exasperated. "I've already told you countless times, yes, she's a girl. And yes, she is my friend. But no, she is _not_ my girlfriend."

Raj nodded. "Right. Because if she were your girlfriend, you wouldn't have to ask her on a date."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes and put his hand forward, attempting to use the force to choke Raj. Sadly, it seemed to be ineffective. Raj and Howard merely laughed at each other and walked out the door.

Penny got up. "Well, I guess I should get going too." She smiled at Sheldon. "Have a good evening, Sweetie." She looked at Leonard and winked. It appeared that, due to their mutual enjoyment of watching Sheldon squirm, they had put aside their differences. He did not like this.

Leonard smiled back and said, "Goodnight," to Penny as she walked out the door. He turned to Sheldon. "Well, I'm going to go read. I'm a little backlogged on my comic book reading."

Sheldon looked over and nodded, still irked at everyone's behavior tonight.

Leonard shrugged. "Have fun sleeping on the couch," he said as he walked down the hall.

* * *

Sheldon's night on the couch was, actually, very far from fun. The length of the couch was satisfactory, but the lumbar support was sorely lacking. Somewhere around 2:00 a.m. he briefly contemplated laying his head at the other end of the couch to see if that resolved the issue. Self preservation won out, however, as he did not wish to face away from the door, just in case an attacker decided tonight was the night to enter their residence. He simply tried rolling onto his side instead. (It didn't help.)

Aside from his physical comfort issues, he found himself contemplating the earlier conversation with his friends. He was still baffled by their reasoning for why he should ask Amy on a date. He did not see how a dating website was a better determiner of he and Amy's romantic compatibility, than they, themselves. Excepting those five years when Amy had requested to refer to him as her boyfriend, she had never indicated that she was interested in becoming pair bonded with him. Their relationship had always been one of the mind. As children, they had found amiable companionship, based on the fact that they were the only two who could understand the other. He didn't see why, just because she now happened to live in the same state, that should mean they should pursuit a romantic relationship. They had a relationship based on mutual respect and friendship. What more did they need, really?

Sheldon sighed. No matter how much he reasoned it out, he always came to the same conclusion. He was right. There was absolutely no reason for him to ask Amy Farrah Fowler on a date.

* * *

Sheldon woke up to the sound of footsteps. He sat upright and immediately looked to his left.

Amy was in her pajamas and about half way to the kitchen. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you," she said. "I was attempting to tread lightly."

Sheldon shook his head. "No need to worry. As you well know, I was the frequent recipient of bullying, and as a result, developed a keen sense of hearing."

Amy nodded.

Sheldon swung his feet to the floor and stood up. "May I help you find something?"

"I was hoping to have my usual morning tea." She thought for a moment, "Which I now realize I could not have prepared without waking you up. Both a tea kettle whistle and a microwave would have made far too much noise."

Sheldon nodded. "It's alright. It's normal to have some cognitive impairment when you are sleeping in an unfamiliar place, have been traveling through several time zones, or have just awoken from your night's sleep. As you have done all three, your lack of foresight in this instance is perfectly understandable, and thus forgiven."

"And for that, I thank you," Amy said, nodding her head once.

Sheldon walked into the kitchen. "Since I am awake, however, I would be happy to make you some tea. And, if you don't mind of course, I believe I will join you."

Amy smiled. "I would be delighted."

Sheldon gestured to the bar stools at the island. "Please, have a seat. As you are a guest in my home, it is customary for me to provide you with the beverage."

Sheldon put the kettle on to boil and got down his assortment of teas, asking Amy which she would prefer. After discussing at length the pros and cons of the various types of teas, they made their individual selections. At the precise moment that Sheldon closed the cabinet door, after returning the teas to their rightful places, the kettle started whistling. Sheldon poured water in to 2 mugs, handing one to Amy.

He grabbed one of the bar stools and brought it to the other side of the island, as it was much easier to carry on a conversation if they were facing each other. They immediately began chatting about the current advancements in the field of neurobiology. The ease with which they conversed surprised even Sheldon. It was as if he and Amy had seen each other yesterday, rather than twenty three years ago.

It was quite a few minutes before the conversation turned to reminiscing.

"Do you recall the game we used to play?" Amy asked, smiling at him over her cup.

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "I remember everything. But you'll have to be more specific, as we played many games."

Amy nodded. "Of course. How silly of me. I was speaking most specifically of Counter Factuals."

Sheldon grinned. "Ah yes. One of our best games, I'd say."

Amy nodded in agreement.

"Do you know," Sheldon began, "I haven't been able to find a single other person who could understand that game. Leonard was the closest candidate, but he never could get the hang of it. I suppose that's what happens when you use your brain power for experimental work, rather than theoretical."

Amy cocked her head to the side. "You mean you still have it?"

Sheldon was shocked. "Of course! I keep the cards in an old shoe box. I've also added to the questions over the years."

"Interesting," Amy replied, looking thoughtful. "I would be most interested in revisiting the game. I remember having such fun playing it."

Sheldon perked up. "Wait right here."

He ran to his room and grabbed the box off his shelf. He had been hoping to play the game again, but had not believed he would have the chance so soon after Amy's arrival.

He brought the box and set it down. He and Amy both perused the questions, often chuckling when they came across a question from their seven year old selves. It was only Leonard walking into the kitchen that reminded them they had best eat breakfast. Even though cereal was not what he usually ate on Sundays, Sheldon and Amy quickly agreed that was their preferred breakfast food, much to the surprise of Leonard, as it would take the least amount of time to prepare, and they were having far too much fun rediscovering Counter Factuals.

**A/N: Thank you kindly for reading. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Have a shiny day. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I so enjoy them. :) Still busy, so the next update might be a bit. Then again, I didn't expect to get a chance to update this soon either, so there is hope for you yet. :)**

**Chapter 12**

"Come on, Penny. _Please_ help me out!"

Penny burst into Sheldon's living room, rolling her eyes, with Howard not far behind. Sheldon didn't understand why his friends insisted on walking into his residence without knocking. It was always an intrusion, and, in this particular instance, was an interruption of a rousing game of three dimensional chess with Leonard. As usual, he, Sheldon, was winning, but at least today Leonard was making a hearty attempt. Usually it was so easy to win, it was _almost_ not worth taking the time to play. Today, however, he found himself needing to thoroughly think before making a move. It was quite enjoyable.

Sheldon frowned at Penny and Wolowitz as they continued their intrusive conversation, in the middle of his and Leonard's living room.

"Howard, I don't want to get in to the middle of anything. As far as I'm concerned, Bernadette already dodged a bullet. I don't want to be the one to pull that trigger again."

"Please," said Sheldon dryly. "Come in. Feel free to hold a loud conversation in our living room."

Either they didn't hear him, or they were ignoring him, because neither Penny, nor Howard, responded. Instead, they continued their discussion.

Howard clasped his hands together. "_Please_ talk to Bernadette for me. You don't have to get her to go on a date with me again. I just want to talk to her."

Penny frowned. "Then why don't you call her?"

Howard shuffled. "I…" He cleared his throat. "…may have done something embarrassing. It _might_ be the reason we broke up…"

Penny crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. "Do tell." Then she abruptly held up her hands. "You know what? I don't want to know. And the answer is still no."

"Oh come on!"

Sheldon looked over at Leonard, who was also watching the display. "Leonard, it's your turn."

"What?" Leonard looked over at Sheldon. "Oh. Right." He hastily picked up a chess piece and moved it, keeping his eyes more on Penny and Howard than on the chess board. Sheldon sighed. Leonard had left his queen exposed. Looks like this rousing game had just come to an abrupt halt.

Perhaps it was just as well. Amy was due to arrive in fifteen minutes anyway. Sheldon had taken to regularly inviting Amy over to eat with himself, and his friends. He enjoyed having another person at his evening meals who shared his distaste for banal chit chat. And he supposed Amy being integrated into the rest of his social circle was a positive aspect, as well.

It had been several weeks, now, since Amy had moved to Pasadena, and they had been, truthfully, completely delightful. It was nice to finally have a friend who shared his interest in activities, such as going to the zoo. Leonard had occasionally accompanied Sheldon to the zoo, but he had never been very enthusiastic, and quite frankly, Sheldon hadn't appreciated having to deal with the lack of enthusiasm. But Amy shared his enjoyment, so each trip (They went frequently. Three times already.) had been an absolute delight. For one thing, such trips led to rousing debates on the cuteness of monkeys versus koalas. (The correct answer is, of course, koalas.) Leonard had always claimed apathy whenever Sheldon had attempted to draw him into similar debates.

Sheldon captured Leonard's queen and then waited impatiently for Leonard to make his next move. At this point, perhaps they should simply declare Sheldon the winner. There was no coming back from a captured queen. At least not if you're Leonard.

Sheldon started to say as much to Leonard, but was shushed in reply. Sheldon rolled his eyes and began gathering chess pieces. Whether or not Howard was able to garner another date with Bernadette was of little interest to him. Granted, of all the women Sheldon had been exposed to, as a result of his friends' insistence on dating, Bernadette was likely one of, if not _the_, most interesting (excluding Amy, naturally). While she did not, yet, have a PhD, she was at least studying to receive one. That was more than Sheldon could say for Howard. Frankly, Sheldon agreed with Penny. Bernadette was better off finding someone who wasn't so cavalier about their schooling.

"Frankly, Howard," Sheldon said. "I agree with Penny."

Howard raised his eyebrows. "Oh really?"

"Yes. You're far beneath Bernadette. She should find a man of equal intelligence…or at the very least, a man of equal schooling."

Howard narrowed his eyes. "Thank you, Sheldon."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "You're welcome, Howard. Glad I could help."

Leonard leaned over. "Sarcasm."

Sheldon blinked, said, "Oh," and then got up to put the chess board away, as Howard continued his pleas.

Finally, it appeared Penny had had enough. "Fine! I'll do it!"

Howard brightened. "You mean you'll talk to her? Get her to talk to me?"

"Yes! Just…stop hassling me."

Howard clasped Penny's hands, and said, "Thank you so much!"

As Sheldon was walking back to his spot, there was a knock at the door. Amy was the only one who ever bothered to knock, so Sheldon figured it must be her. He glanced at his watch as he walked towards the door. She was early.

When he opened the door, it was indeed Amy. They smiled at each other, and Sheldon moved out of the way to allow Amy entrance.

She nodded at him as she walked past. "Good evening, Sheldon."

He nodded back. "Good evening, Amy. I trust your drive over was uneventful."

She took her bag off over her head, setting it down by Sheldon's desk. "Yes. It was delightfully uneventful." She looked at the rest of the group. "Hello, Leonard. Penny. Howard…Is Rajesh joining us this evening?"

"No," said Howard. "He has to work. Something to do with Solar flares being visible in Australia."

Amy nodded as both she and Sheldon walked over towards the couch.

As they sat, Sheldon said, "We're still waiting for the pizza to be delivered."

"I see," said Amy.

The group fell silent for a few moments. Leonard had informed Sheldon that he often had a difficult time carrying on a conversation with Amy. Sheldon not only found this baffling, but also wondered why Leonard _felt _the need to carry on a conversation with Amy. Sheldon frequently enjoyed the amiable silences between he and Amy. But he supposed a lesser evolved creature, such as Leonard, may not be able to fully appreciate the joys of silence.

There was a knock at the door. Penny let out a breath, and said, "Oh good."

As Leonard went to answer the door and pay for the pizza, Amy turned to Penny. "So tell me, Penny, how was your day of labor at the Cheesecake Factory."

Penny stared for a couple of seconds, cleared her throat, and responded with, "Oh, you know…it was…normal…although, we did have a customer who left a twenty cent tip. But it wasn't my table, so it was cool."

"Excellent. Sheldon has told me you excel at waitressing."

"That's not what I said," Sheldon cut in. "What I said, was that Penny is the only waitress at the Cheesecake Factory, who is able to provide me with food prepared the way that I like it. I hardly said she excelled."

Amy nodded at Sheldon. "I apologize. I was paraphrasing from the implication I took from your statement. So you don't believe Penny excels at waitressing?"

"Penny is quite a proficient waitress, but I don't know that I'd say she excels. She has an unfortunate habit of making her customers wait before coming to take their order. Frankly, I think if she simply made more of an effort, she'd see at least a twenty percent increase in her tip return."

Penny snorted. "Excuse me. I'm sitting right here."

Sheldon looked over at her. "Yes. I know."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

"Oh. My apologies. Would you prefer to join the conversation? How do _you_ feel you are as a waitress?"

"Sheldon," Amy said, "I believe what Penny was saying is that she finds it rude for us to be conversing about her proficiency as a waitress."

"Yeah," said Penny. "What Amy said."

Sheldon was a little shocked. "I apologize then. Amy and I will wait until we are alone to continue the conversation."

Penny rolled her eyes, grabbing another slice of pizza. "Gee, thanks."

Amy looked over at Sheldon and frowned. "You have a bit of pizza sauce on the corner of your mouth."

Before Sheldon had a chance to respond, Amy licked her thumb, and wiped the corner of his mouth. Sheldon's eyes grew big. He could feel a slight breeze, hitting the left over spittle from Amy's thumb, on the corner of his mouth. The germ-riddled implications of her rash move were astronomical. Sheldon immediately grabbed a napkin and wiped his mouth.

Amy frowned again. "My apologies. I don't know what I was thinking. I think we should agree never to do that again."

"I concur. That was rather unpleasant."

"Yes, I completely agree. From this point forward, neither one of us shall ever use saliva and fingers as a cleaning device on the other."

Sheldon nodded. "I agree to those terms."

"Then it's settled."

"Yes."

They both smiled at each other, and returned to eating their pizza. Sheldon looked at his friends. They were all three staring with their mouths open.

Howard turned to Penny. "So when are you going to talk to Bernadette?"

"Oh my _god_, Howard! I thought I agreed so you would stop pestering me?"

Amy leaned over. "Who's Bernadette?"

Penny answered. "She's my friend and coworker, and is also, now, Howard's ex. Although, why they broke up he won't say. He wants me to talk to her," she turned towards Howard, "which I agreed to do if he stopped bothering me about it."

"Interesting," Amy responded. "And when _are_ you going to speak with Bernadette."

Penny raised her eyebrows. "I don't know. I was planning on asking her to hang out tomorrow night."

"That sounds like fun. May I join you?"

"Oh…um…Sure!" Penny said, glancing at Leonard and then Sheldon.

Sheldon looked at Amy and frowned. "I thought we had discussed going to the museum tomorrow."

Amy shrugged her shoulders. "We can go directly after work and leave early. I can be back in plenty of time to enjoy my evening with Penny."

"But what about walking through the new exhibit? How can we do that, and still see the rest of the museum?"

"We can start with the new exhibit and, if we have time, see the rest of the displays."

"But, Amy," Sheldon began.

"Sheldon. It will be fine. We can go again another time. We both have yearly passes."

Sheldon sighed. "Fine…although why you'd prefer to spend your evening with Penny, discussing menstruation and unicorns, when you could be spending it discussing the likes of the cretaceous period, is beyond me."

* * *

The next evening, after their brief visit to the museum of natural history, Sheldon said goodbye to Amy at his door, and set about trying to work through the equations currently waiting for him on his whiteboard.

Leonard spent the evening on his computer, doing what, Sheldon neither knew nor cared. He was just deciding to call it an evening when there was a knock on the front door. Leonard looked over at Sheldon.

"Are you expecting anyone?"

Sheldon shook his head. "No."

Leonard got up and answered the door. It was Amy.

"Oh. Hey Amy," Leonard said.

"Hello, Leonard. May I come in?"

"Yes, of course." Leonard stepped aside to allow Amy to enter, closing the door behind her.

"Amy, I thought you were at Penny's. What are you doing here?" Sheldon asked, curious.

"Sheldon, what are your thoughts on weddings?" Amy asked.

That was a curious question.

"I believe they are uninteresting. I have nothing against the institution of marriage, but I believe receptions are tedious events. I always wish that the couples would take their cues from Bilbo Baggins, and simply put on their rings and disappear."

Amy nodded. "Yes, that's what I thought you'd say."

She turned to Leonard. "Leonard, I would like to request your company at a coworker's wedding next weekend."

**A/N: Thank you for reading. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I want to take a moment to thank all of you who have reviewed. Over 200! I honestly feel very honored to have received so much love. You guys rock!**

**Chapter 13**

Sheldon and Leonard both stared at Amy, the latter sending several glances in Sheldon's direction.

"Oh…I…um…" said Leonard, obviously struggling to form a coherent sentence.

Sheldon frowned at Amy. "Why are you asking Leonard to attend a wedding with you?"

Amy raised her eyebrows. "You just said you found them tedious. Has your answer changed in the past thirty seconds?"

"No."

"That is why I asked Leonard to attend a wedding with me."

"But why Leonard?" Sheldon asked. He was upset, although he was unsure of the cause. He didn't like spending time analyzing feelings.

Amy shrugged. "He seemed like the most likely candidate. Howard is currently attempting to reconcile with his ex-girlfriend, so he likely won't be going on dates with other women. As for Raj, I would like a date who could speak to me without the aid of alcohol. Leonard seemed like the best option."

Leonard spoke up, clearing his throat first. "Why didn't you ask Sheldon?"

That was what Sheldon was wondering, truth be told.

Amy looked between them, a confused expression on her face. "I knew that he would not want to go. Why should I ask, if I know the answer?"

Sheldon scoffed. "You don't know what I might have said. For all you knew, I could have loved weddings. Do you know, I once went to a wedding reception that had a make-your-own sundae bar? I liked _that_ wedding."

Amy frowned. "But I asked you just now, and you said you didn't like weddings…granted, it was only at Penny's insistence that I asked you in the first place."

Leonard frowned. "At Penny's insistence? So you talked to Penny about this?"

Amy nodded. "That was my secondary reason for wishing to spend the evening with her and Bernadette. Sheldon has informed me that the two of you have dated in the past. I did not wish to upset my fledgling friendship with Penny by horning in on her former boyfriend."

Sheldon could only blink at Amy, still unsure of the cause of his current inner turmoil. Leonard continued frowning. "So wait…what did Penny say when you asked?"

"Well, her first question was 'Why aren't you asking Sheldon?' I told her much the same thing which I just told you. She insisted that if I were to ask, that I would receive a positive answer from Sheldon. But as I just demonstrated, I already knew that Sheldon would respond by saying he finds weddings tedious. We _have_ been friends for quite some time."

"But you didn't ask me to accompany you to the wedding. You simply asked if I liked them," Sheldon said.

Leonard held up a hand. "Hang on a minute. So what did Penny say when you told her that you wanted to ask me?"

Amy looked over at Leonard, eyebrows raised. "She said she did not mind if I asked you. I made sure to let her know that I was asking you as a friend. It will not be a real date, Leonard. Please don't pin your hopes on a romantic attachment with me."

Leonard blinked. "Huh…so Penny was ok with you, her friend, asking me on a date."

"Well, it's not a real date…but yes."

"Interesting…"

Sheldon looked back and forth between Amy and Leonard. "So you would rather ask Leonard, whom you can barely refer to as a friend, having only known him for several weeks, to a wedding as your date, than ask me, your oldest friend?"

Leonard and Amy both looked at Sheldon. A wrinkle appeared in between Amy's eyebrows. "I'm sorry Sheldon. As I said before, I naturally assumed, having known you for all these years, that a wedding wouldn't interest you. Do you want to go with me?"

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, Sheldon. _Do_ you want to go as Amy's date?"

Sheldon looked back and forth between Amy and Leonard, suddenly feeling backed into a corner. _Did_ he want to go as Amy's date? He certainly knew he didn't want her to go with Leonard…but if he, Sheldon, went as Amy's date, would the others in his social group take that as a sign that he, Sheldon, believed that infernal dating website was correct? Would they interpret his actions as him now trying to garner Amy's romantic affections? He felt himself growing impatient. If Amy had asked him, before asking Leonard, then he wouldn't be standing here contemplating the reactions of his friends. This was silly.

He turned to Amy. "How can you already be invited to a wedding? You only moved here a few weeks ago."

"The rest of the department was invited, and the bride and groom did not wish for me to feel left out. It was rather nice of them, considering the wedding is only a week away…but you didn't answer the question."

Sheldon darted a look at Leonard, who gave Sheldon a curious look.

"Would it bother you, Sheldon, if I went as Amy's date?"

Sheldon shuffled, eyes darting around the room. "Why should it bother me if you take Amy on a date? I already said I hate weddings."

"Actually you said they were tedious," said Amy. "But if you indeed hate them, then I don't know why you'd want to go with me. And you still haven't answered the question."

Sheldon felt a bit panicked. He looked over at Leonard, feeling uncomfortable with Amy's question. He didn't like this one bit…perhaps it would be best if he said no. "No" seemed like a much simpler answer.

"No," he said, his eyes still darting around the room.

"No, to which question?" asked Leonard.

Sheldon shuffled some more. "Both questions. No I would not like to go to the wedding, and no I don't mind if you take Amy on a date." Except that he did mind.

Amy raised her eyebrows, and then immediately frowned, turning to Leonard. "Now that that's settled, would you like to accompany me?" She glanced at Sheldon, and then back at Leonard. "And despite what Sheldon implied, this is not a true date. You would be accompanying me as my platonic friend."

Leonard looked at Sheldon, who was watching the exchange between the two of them, then cleared his throat and replied, "Yes. I would be delighted to go as your friend."

Amy smiled. "Excellent. Thank you. I shall meet you here on Saturday, at 4:00 p.m."

"Ok," Leonard said. "Sounds good. I look forward to it."

Amy nodded and then said, "I really should be going." She turned to Sheldon. "I shall chat with you tomorrow then? I was thinking it might be nice if we tried Skype. I have had great success using it to avoid having to visit my mother."

Sheldon thought for a moment. "A way for us to hang out together without being physically in each other's presence? Sounds intriguing. I agree. What time shall I be waiting by my computer?"

"How about our usual telephone time. 8:00."

Sheldon nodded. "I look forward to our chat."

They smiled at each other, and then Amy turned to leave. "I shall 'see' you at 8:00 then." She looked over at Leonard. "You two have a pleasant rest of your evening."

After she walked out, Sheldon closed the door behind her. When he turned around, it was to find Leonard looking at him, a curious expression on his face. Sheldon frowned, confused.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"…Are you sure you're ok with me going to that wedding with Amy?"

Sheldon stood up straighter, pointing his nose a little higher. "Of course I'm ok with it. Why wouldn't I be?" He started to walk towards his bedroom

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "Well, for one thing, because _you_ like Amy."

Sheldon stopped in his tracks. After a moment, he turned around to look at Leonard. "I don't know what you mean."

Leonard gave Sheldon a look. "I mean that you don't want me, or anyone, taking Amy on a date, even a platonic date, because _you_ want to take her on a date. Just admit it."

Sheldon pressed his lips together, narrowing his eyes. He had thought his negative response to Amy would _stop_ these kinds of assumptions. "You're wrong," he said, before turning on his heel and heading back into his room.

* * *

"Is some wrong Sheldon?"

Sheldon blinked, focusing again on Amy, who was currently on his computer screen.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "I'm a little distracted. Please continue your story. I believe you were just about to explain how you went about getting a starfish hooked on cocaine."

Amy cocked her head. "Are you sure you're alright? I've never known you to be so easily distracted. Granted, my experience with you, in person, is limited."

Sheldon contemplated his answer. In truth, he had been distracted all day by the fact that Amy had asked Leonard to be her date to a wedding. He wasn't sure how to broach the subject with Amy, however…assuming he even wished to discuss it with her.

Sheldon looked her in the eyes, clearing his throat. "It's nothing. Please continue."

Amy eyed him for a moment before continuing her explanation. Sheldon folded his hands and placed them in front of his lap top, trying to stay focused. The subject matter at hand was rather interesting, but Sheldon kept finding his mind wandering back to the upcoming Saturday Evening. It was rather puzzling why he should be so worried. Amy had said multiple times that Leonard was only accompanying her as her friend.

"Sheldon?"

Sheldon blinked several times, slightly shaking his head, and looking back at Amy. "I'm sorry Amy. I seem to be having a difficult time focusing. Perhaps we had better end our discussion for the evening."

Amy frowned. "Ok. Well…have a good evening."

"You as well," Sheldon said, and then immediately closed his lap top.

He walked out into the living room, trying to decide how best to distract himself. Leonard was at his desk, typing away on his own laptop.

"Leonard, what are you working on?"

Leonard answered without looking up from his computer. "A paper I'm trying to finish before tomorrow. Why?"

"No reason," Sheldon replied. He supposed that meant television, and video games, were out as a distraction.

Sheldon walked into the kitchen. Hot tea was sounding particularly good. In fact, ever since yesterday, he had found himself frequently wanting hot beverages. He set the kettle on to boil, and walked over to select his tea. He found a loose leaf peppermint tea that he had not had in awhile, and selected that one. After grabbing down a mug, he sat in a bar stool, waiting for the water to boil.

This entire situation was baffling. His reaction defied logic. There was simply no logical reason for Sheldon to feel so upset. Amy was merely his friend. And she had certainly been on dates with other men. Of course, those dates had never ended well, and they had all been a means to an end for Amy, but still, they were dates.

Without meaning to, Sheldon thought about the dating website. It was all hogwash, of course, but nevertheless, Sheldon found it inherently interesting that Amy should be the only match. Not at all surprising…but interesting. He had made Wolowitz delete the account immediately, and Amy had never said anything to indicate that she had noticed his name as a match, so Sheldon had thought that was that. But every once in a while, he would find himself remembering her name on the screen.

"Sheldon?"

Sheldon looked over at Leonard. "Yes?"

"Your kettle is whistling."

Sheldon looked over and realized that, yes, the kettle was whistling rather loudly. "Oh. My apologies."

He walked over and grabbed the kettle, pouring the water into his cup.

"Are you ok, Sheldon?"

Sheldon looked up from stirring his cup. He was starting to get irritated with the constant questioning. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You don't seem fine. The last time you were this distracted was…I don't even remember. Do you want to talk about it?"

Sheldon considered for moment. "No. As I just said, I'm fine." He took his cup and walked back into his room. He decided to spend the rest of the evening reading comic books in his room. He wasn't about to stay out in the living room if he was going to have to endure twenty questions.

**A/N: Thank you, as always, for reading. :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Sheldon looked at his watch. It was 3:55 p.m. Amy would be arriving any minute now to take Leonard to a wedding.

Sheldon sat up straighter, holding his _Mystic Warlords of Ka'a_ cards closer, trying to decide which card to play. He had decided he didn't care if Amy took Leonard on a platonic date. It wasn't as if _he_ wanted to go to the wedding. He had decided long ago that romantic attachments weren't for him, so he didn't see why he should change his stance now. He laid down the "strangling vines" card.

There was a knock at the door, but Sheldon ignored it.

"Sheldon?" Leonard called from his bedroom. "Could you get the door please?"

"No," Sheldon yelled back.

"_Shel_don," Howard said. "What is wrong with you?" Howard got up and answered the door, as Raj shook his head at Sheldon.

Amy walked through the door, wearing a bright pink ensemble.

"Hello Howard. Raj. Sheldon," Amy said to each of them in turn.

"Hello, Amy," replied Howard, while Raj nodded in greeting.

Sheldon merely took a drink of his water bottle.

Amy frowned, looking hurt, causing Sheldon to feel a twinge of something, which he chose to ignore. When he had awoken this morning, he had decided that Amy's completely lack of consideration to their friendship was very off putting, and that he was officially upset with her. Regardless of what her thoughts were regarding whether or not he would say yes to being her wedding date, he would have thought that she would have at least _considered_ asking him, her good friend, before the likes of Leonard.

Leonard walked out, dressed in a suit and tie. "Hello Amy. You look lovely."

Sheldon turned to Howard. "It's your turn. Although how you're going to beat my strangling vines card, when all you have left is an 'enchanted bunny' card, I don't know."

Howard rolled his eyes, and threw down his card, as Leonard opened the door and gestured for Amy to go out ahead of him.

The door closed just as Raj threw down his last card, and they declared Sheldon the winner. Sheldon almost didn't register his triumph. He was too busy narrowing his eyes at the door.

Raj turned to Howard, "Hey, you want to go out tonight?"

"Naw," Howard replied. "I'm still trying to get Bernadette to believe that I'm not a sleaze ball. I don't think going to a bar will help with that."

Raj sighed. "Not that I'm not happy for you dude, but you having a girlfriend is putting a serious damper on my social life. I have no one to go to a bar to pick up women with."

Howard shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you, Raj."

Sheldon turned to the pair of them. "I'll go to a bar with you Raj."

Raj frowned as Howard's mouth dropped open. "You will?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Why not?"

"Why not?" repeated Howard, incredulously. "Since when do you go to bars?"

"Since now."

"Is this because of Amy is on a date with Leonard?"

Sheldon glared at Howard. "Amy is not on a date with Leonard. They just went as friends…and no. This has _nothing_ to do with Amy."

Raj rolled his eyes. "Come on, Sheldon. Just admit it. It's obvious you're upset because you would rather Amy have asked you."

Sheldon turned his glare towards Raj. "If you're not careful, you'll find yourself without a partner tonight."

"Dude. You won't be my 'partner'. You'll be my 'wingman'."

"What's the difference?" Sheldon asked, suddenly confused.

"The difference is a wingman helps pick up women. A partner helps pick out drapes."

Sheldon frowned. "I don't follow."

Raj rolled his eyes. "Never mind."

Sheldon shrugged. "So where are we going?"

Howard held up a hand, eyebrows raised. "Wait a minute. You're serious?"

Sheldon looked at him. "Have you ever known me not to be?"

"You mean to tell me, that you're going to go out to a bar with Raj to pick up women?"

"Well…I'll more than likely forgo the women myself, but I suppose it won't hurt to help Raj obtain a sexual partner for the evening."

Howard turned to Raj. "Good luck with that. With Sheldon as your wingman, I'd be preparing to sleep alone tonight."

Howard stood up. "Well, gentlemen, enjoy your evening. I have an evening of groveling ahead of me, myself. See you later."

After Howard left, Raj turned to Sheldon. "Are you really serious about going to a bar with me? As my wingman?"

"Of course," Sheldon replied. "Why would I joke about something like that? I don't know why you and Howard are having such a hard time grasping the concept that I might wish to spend the evening helping a friend."

Raj raised his eyebrows. "How about because you've never done anything like that ever?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm doing something like that now." He stood up. "Shall we go?"

Raj looked at his watch. "It's 4:15 in the afternoon."

"So?"

Raj snorted. "So, there aren't going to be any good looking women at a bar at 4:15 in the afternoon."

"And that's important to you then?"

"Of course."

Sheldon thought for a moment. "Yes, I can see why. If by chance you were able to find a woman to copulate with, and she were to find herself accidentally carrying your progeny, then you'd want to make sure that the mate you had chosen to have an illegitimate child with at least had beauty…since one could assume she wouldn't have brains, after having had a one night stand and finding herself pregnant."

Raj stared for a moment. "Right."

"So when are we going then?"

"I don't know…10:00?"

Sheldon was appalled. "We're going to _leave_ at 10:00? Good Lord Raj, what kind of a person goes _out_ at 10:00?"

"The kind of person hoping to meet hot women."

"How about we leave at 7:00 and you settle for an average looking woman?"

Raj thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. "Ok."

* * *

Raj and Sheldon walked up to the bar to order drinks.

"I'll have a grasshopper, and my friend here will have a virgin diet Cuba Libre."

"Actually," interjected Sheldon, "forget the virgin."

Raj looked at Sheldon in surprise. "You're going to drink alcohol?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Why not? I believe it's considered social convention to have a drink in a bar, especially when one is hoping to pick up women."

Raj frowned, looking confused. "Are you hoping to pick up women?"

"No."

"Then why would you need to follow social convention?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Why not?"

The bartender set down their drinks, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, and then walked away.

Sheldon grabbed his diet Cuba Libre and took a drink. He made a face. It tasted disgusting. Why did people enjoy these disgusting beverages? He took another drink, making another face.

He turned to Raj, still shuddering. "Have you found a woman to copulate with yet?"

Raj shushed him. "Not yet…and I never will if you keep saying things like that."

"Oh. Right…so what should I say?"

"Don't say anything. Just…nod when I tell a woman a ridiculous lie."

Sheldon blinked at Raj. "I don't know if I can do that? What if you tell a woman that you enjoyed the Dare Devil movie?"

Raj rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to tell a woman I enjoyed the Dare Devil movie…it'll probably be something more along the lines of, I came 'this close' to becoming an astronaut, but decided my real passion lay in saving lives as a fireman."

Sheldon nodded. "Oh, well, _that_ I can nod to." He took another drink of his drink. This time it didn't taste so bad. Sheldon realized he was feeling kind of thirsty, so he took another drink. He was starting to wonder what he had found so disgusting about the drink. It turns out, it's not half bad. He only had one third of the drink left, so he downed it and requested another.

He put his hand on Raj's shoulder and giggled.

Raj looked over at him, eyebrows raised. "Did you just giggle?"

Sheldon grinned. "Your name is funny. Rajesh." Sheldon giggled again. "Ra…jesh." Now that he was saying it out loud, Sheldon found it positively hilarious.

"Dude! Calm down! You're drawing attention…and not the right kind of attention."

Sheldon threw his arm around Raj. "There's no such thing as not the right kind of attention." He threw his arm up and spoke to the people nearest them, "Am I right? Which one of you ladies here wants to copulate with my friend Rajesh Koothrapali? He's from India!"

"And where are you from?" a woman asked, walking up to Sheldon. She sat down in the bar stool that was next to them.

"Me? I'm from Texas." Sheldon took a drink of his beverage. "But, this guy," Sheldon shoved Raj in the woman's direction. "This guy is the one you want. He is looking for someone to copulate with. Are _you_ looking for someone to copulate with?"

Raj, held up his hands, saying, "I'm so sorry." He turned to Sheldon. "Sheldon!"

"What?"

"Stop it!"

"Stop what?" Sheldon threw his arm around Raj again. "Stop trying to be a perfect wingman? Stop trying to, to use the colloquialism, 'hook you up' with this lovely woman?" He gestured to the woman on the seat, who was now giggling.

"You know what this bar needs?" Sheldon asked. "A karaoke machine." He turned around and slapped the bar. "Bartender!" Raj was attempting to grab Sheldon's arm to pull him away, but Sheldon flung him off.

The bartender looked over at Sheldon with raised eyebrows. Sheldon pointed at him. "Do you know what you need? A karaoke machine!"

"And do you know what you need?" asked the bartender.

"What's that?" Sheldon replied.

"You need to lay off the diet rum and cokes. It's not even 8:00." The bartender gestured to Raj. "How about you control your friend here?"

"Pffffft." Sheldon swatted his hand. "I'm fine."

Raj pulled on Sheldon's arm again. "Sheldon, maybe we should go. You're obviously drunk."

Sheldon scoffed. "I'm not drunk…maybe _you're_ drunk." He pulled his arm away from Raj, and ran to stand up on a barstool.

"The stars at night! Are big and bright!" _clap clap clap clap_ "Deep in the heart, of Texas!" He gestured to the crowd, which was now staring at him, some laughing. "Everyone! The prairie sky! Is wide and high!" _clap clap clap clap "_Deep in the heart, of Texas!"

"That's it," said the bartender, turning to Raj. "Get him out of here, before I call the cops."

Raj pulled on Sheldon's pants leg, causing Sheldon to become unbalanced and fall off the barstool, hitting his head on the bar on the way down.

"Owie," was the last thing Sheldon remembered saying before he blacked out.

* * *

The next thing he knew, Sheldon was waking up, on the bottom of a bar floor, with Raj, and several other people surrounding him.

"Sheldon, are you ok?" Raj asked.

Sheldon put a hand to his head, which was feeling rather painful. "I'm fine."

Raj frowned. "Are you sure? I think we should go to the emergency room. You hit your head pretty hard."

Sheldon scoffed. "And wait around for hours in a germ infested waiting room, just to be told that I have a concussion? I'd rather sit around here and drink some more. All this time, I've been wrong. Alcohol is yummy!"

Raj raised his eyebrows. "Oh. Kay. We're taking you home."

"Pfffft. I don't need to go home."

Raj grabbed Sheldon's arm and put it around his shoulder, helping Sheldon get to his feet. Sheldon looked over at Raj, grinned, and said. "You're a great friend. I love you."

"That's great," replied Raj, starting to walk towards the door. Just before they left the bar, the woman who had been talking to them, came running up with a baggie full of ice.

"Here," she said, handing it to Raj, "for his head." Then she winked at Raj and handed him a piece of paper. "And this is for you. Call me."

Raj looked at the paper as she walked away, and then at Sheldon. "You're a better wingman than I thought."

* * *

Raj helped Sheldon up the stairs in his apartment building. Sheldon's head was starting to hurt, even with the bag of ice pressed up against it. But Sheldon kept giggling every time he remembered Raj's name. He kept repeating it to himself. "Rajesh. Raj. Esh. Raaaaajeeeeesh."

When they reached the top of the stairs to Sheldon's floor, Amy and Leonard were standing outside the door, chatting. They both looked over at Sheldon and Raj.

Sheldon grinned. "Hello Amy. Leonard. I hit my head." He pulled his arm from around Raj's shoulder, and stumbled over to Amy. He took away the ice pack and pointed. "See?"

Amy was just staring at him, so Sheldon leaned forward, and kissed her.

**A/N: Thoughts? Click the review button. :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you dear readers, and especially dearest reviewers. You make my life happy. :D**

**Chapter 15**

Sheldon awoke to the sound of his phone ringing. He started to open his eyes, wondering why his phone was so loud, but when the light hit, he immediately shut them again, groaning. What was going on? Was he ill? Why did it hurt to open his eyes? And why on _earth_ was his phone so loud?

He groped blindly for his phone, currently on his nightstand.

"Hello?" He said, without looking to see who it was.

"Shelly! How _are_ you?"

Sheldon pulled the phone away from his ear sharply.

"Missy. There is no need to shout. I can hear you just fine…why are you calling? It's not time for our biweekly telephone call."

"Can't a girl call her brother to say hello?"

Sheldon put an arm over his eyes, still confused about why he was feeling so awful. Perhaps he should call his doctor's office…or visit Urgent Care, as it was a Sunday.

"Yes. She can. Every other Tuesday."

"Shelly…" Missy's voice held a warning in it.

He sighed. "Fine. Hello."

"Now was that so hard?"

"Yes."

"Oh now, don't be so stubborn."

"I'm not being stubborn. I am currently feeling ill, and am not in the mood to deal with whatever trivial family gossip you felt couldn't wait until Tuesday to relate."

"Oh _really_," Missy said. He could imagine her rolling her eyes.

"Yes, really."

"Not even if the gossip is that I'm coming for a visit?"

Sheldon paused.

"Why are you coming to visit? It's not time for your annual visit…it's only been eight months since you last came to Pasadena."

"Well, I received a _very_ interesting phone call from Penny last night."

Sheldon frowned, confused. "Why did Penny call you?"

He heard Missy laugh. "You don't remember what happened last night do you?"

Sheldon thought for a moment, trying to recall the events of the previous evening. The only thing he could remember was going to a bar with Raj, and drinking alcohol. That explained his light sensitivity issue. He thought harder…had he stood on a barstool and shouted out the lyrics to "Deep in the Heart of Texas"? He groaned. How humiliating.

"Missy…I believe I got drunk last night..." He frowned. "Why did Penny call to tell you that I got drunk?"

"You didn't just get drunk silly…do you really not remember what happened when Raj brought you home?"

He thought more, but could only remember falling and hitting his head on the bar. That explained the shooting pain on the right side of his head…but he couldn't recall anything past that point.

"No."

Missy laughed again. "Oh, this is so much fun. I'm going to have to buy Penny dinner when I arrive."

Sheldon frowned, becoming annoyed. "I fail to see what is so amusing about memory impairment." He tried taking his arm off of his eyes, but quickly put it back down as a shooting pain went through his head as soon as the light hit his eyes. "And why are you coming to Pasadena anyway? You never bothered to answer my question."

"Oh. Well…I just thought I'd like to reconnect with the woman who finally got my brother to go to first base."

Sheldon paused, feeling the beginnings of a memory starting to hit. "First base? What on earth does baseball have to do with anything? Did I play?"

He heard Missy snort on the other end. "Kissing, you dolt."

Sheldon sat bolt upright, instantly regretting the action, as it felt like a knife was slicing through his frontal lobe. He put a hand over his eyes. "Dear lord!"

Missy snickered. "Memory returning?"

He, Sheldon Lee Cooper, had kissed Amy Farrah Fowler! What on _earth_ had possessed him to do such a thing? His mother was right. Alcohol was Satan's Brew (assuming one believed in Satan…which, incidentally, Sheldon didn't).

"Missy, why are you coming to Pasadena?"

"I told you, I want to see Amy again."

"To what end?"

"I want to see what she's like. I mean, she got you to kiss her, so I want to meet the woman responsible for my brother's sudden interest in making out."

Sheldon scoffed. "I don't have an interest in making out. I was drunk. My actions can not be taken seriously."

Missy hmm'd. "And just _why_ were you drunk in the first place?"

Sheldon paused, feeling backed into a corner. Truth be told, he wasn't sure why he had decided to imbibe alcohol.

"Well?" Missy asked.

Sheldon cleared his throat. "The reason doesn't matter. The fact still remains that I…kissed…Amy when my mind was in an altered state." He thought. "And I'm not giving up my bed for you more than once per year…so I guess you'll have to just give up on your trip here."

"Oh, I'm not planning to stay at your apartment."

"Well…I'll threaten Penny with cutting her off from our wifi if she allows you to stay with her."

"Oh, I'm not planning to stay with Penny either."

Sheldon frowned. "You're going to be staying in a hotel?"

"Nope."

"Well then…where on earth are you planning to stay?"

"With Amy."

Sheldon's mouth dropped open in shock. "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm staying with Amy."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"_No_, you're not!"

"_Yes_, I am."

"Well…I'll…I'll…refuse to give you her telephone number. You can't stay with her if you can't get a hold of her." Sheldon grinned proudly, ignoring his nearly blinding headache.

"Oh, I've already settled it with her."

"What?"

"Yeah, Penny gave me her number. I talked to her before I called you."

"You…what?" Sheldon was at a complete loss for words…something which very rarely happens. "Why do you want to stay with Amy anyway? She's practically a complete stranger. You two have had no regular correspondence. In fact, I can't believe she agreed to it. I bet you coerced her."

"Actually, she seemed happy for the chance to catch up."

"And why were you calling her so early? Don't you have to attend church with our mother?"

"Sheldon…it's two o'clock in the afternoon here."

"What?" Sheldon looked at his watch and gasped. "I've slept until _noon_?" If he wasn't already planning to never drink alcohol again, this would have convinced him. His entire schedule was now thrown off kilter because of last night's shenanigans. And that's not to mention the current state of his friendship with Amy. It was quite possible that he had irrevocably changed the paradigm of their lifelong friendship.

"I have to go!" Sheldon said. Just before he hung up the phone, however, he put it back to his ear. "But don't think that I'm not upset at your impromptu visit…most notably your presumption to ask Amy to stay as her guest."

"I look forward to seeing you too, Shelly," Missy said in an overly sweet voice. Sheldon's experience with Missy caused him to doubt the sincerity of her sweetness. "Oh and, don't forget to pick me up."

Sheldon sighed, putting his index finger and thumb on the bridge of his nose. "When are you getting here?"

"Tomorrow, about 3:00."

Sheldon scoffed. "Tomorrow's Monday!"

"And?"

"_And_, I have to work."

"So just take off early."

"Missy…" He began.

"Sheldon," Missy returned, interrupting him. "I'm coming and you're picking me up. Don't make me tell mom you're being inhospitable."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes, which he supposed had less of an impact when the subject couldn't see him. "Fine. I shall see if one of my friends can take me to pick you up. Please email me your itinerary."

"Thank you Shelly! I love you!" Missy's voice sounded overly sweet again. Sheldon detested the tone.

"Good-bye," he said, hanging up the phone.

Sheldon gingerly put his feet on the floor and stood up, groaning. He could now add nausea to his list of ailments. He walked slowly out into the living room, to find Leonard watching television.

Leonard grinned at Sheldon. "Good afternoon, Sheldon. Sleep well?"

Sheldon glared. "Why did you let me sleep that long…in fact, why did you let me sleep at all? I hit my head. I could have had a concussion. I could have died."

Leonard shrugged. "I wasn't feeling very worried after you threw up on me."

"I threw up on you?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"Sometime after you kissed Amy, and before you started spouting off Shakespeare."

Sheldon stared. "…What?"

"Yeah," Leonard laughed. "Even though I was running towards the shower at the time, I heard you start quoting _Romeo and Juliet_."

Sheldon blinked at Leonard, unsure whether or not to believe him. Quoting Shakespeare did not seem like the kind of thing Sheldon would do…but then again, neither was kissing Amy. He closed his eyes.

"I would never quote Romeo."

"Oh you weren't quoting Romeo."

"Then who was I quoting?"

"I believe it was Juliet."

"I beg your pardon?" Sheldon knew for _sure_ that Leonard was messing with him. There was simply no way on this earth that Sheldon had been quoting Juliet, especially after vomiting. If he had indeed vomited, then he would bet dollars to donuts that he had immediately run for the shower.

"I don't believe you," Sheldon said at last.

Leonard shrugged. "You can believe what you want, but I'm not the only one who witnessed it."

Sheldon frowned. "You're not?"

"Sheldon…Amy was there. She was the one you were quoting Shakespeare to…"

Sheldon's mouth fell open. This was a nightmare.

Leonard continued talking. "And of course, you were yelling it so loudly that Penny came out of her apartment to see what was going on. And Raj hadn't left yet either…you can ask either of them about it."

Sheldon stared. "…just what exactly what I quoting?"

"I didn't hear all of it," Leonard said, "so you might have said more, but you started with the classic 'Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo'."

Sheldon closed his eyes and sank down in his spot. This was a complete disaster. Not only had Amy seen him drunk, and not only had he kissed her, but he had started spouting of _Juliet's_ lines to her? And that's not to mention his current nausea, headache, and photosensitivity.

"That settles it," Sheldon said suddenly.

Leonard frowned. "That settles what?"

"I can never see Amy again."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Sheldon…it's not that bad."

Sheldon looked at Leonard. "Not that bad? Leonard, I drunkenly kissed my oldest friend, and then proceeded to vomit in front of her, and then recite _Juliet's_ lines from _Romeo and Juliet _to her…how much worse could it get?"

Leonard looked thoughtful. "Well…when you put it that way…"

Sheldon sighed. "What must she think of me?"

Leonard shrugged. "I don't think it's that bad, Sheldon. It's not like she ran away screaming. She helped Raj carry you through the door."

"Carry me?"

"Oh yeah…I guess you kind of passed out."

"I…passed out?"

"Yeah, according to Raj, you were just finishing up a soliloquy, threw your arm up into the air, and then fell to the floor. I guess you were close enough to Amy that she was able to catch you, though, so you didn't suffer anymore damage to your head."

Sheldon stared at Leonard in abject horror. Every time he thought things couldn't get worse, they did. He found himself actually longing to go back to those minutes past when "all" he had done was kiss Amy.

"And you have the gall to say that it's not that bad?" Sheldon asked. "How in the world can I ever look Amy in the face?" He sat up straighter. "I have to move."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Sheldon. You're not moving."

Sheldon turned to Leonard. "Don't worry Leonard, I won't move far. Just a state or two away."

"What about your job?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Leonard. I stare at a whiteboard all day, contemplating the mysteries of the universe. I can do that just as easily in a different location. That's the beauty of modern technology. I can just email my results back."

"Sheldon, you're being overly dramatic."

"I'm never dramatic."

"Oh, really? Because I kind of think you're being dramatic now."

"Well, you're wrong."

"How am I wrong?"

"You're wrong because I'm never dramatic."

"Well, you're being dramatic now."

"I'm not being dramatic. It is perfectly logical for me to never want to see Amy again after I have made a complete fool of myself."

Before Leonard had a chance to answer, there was a knock at the door. Sheldon looked over at him. "Are you expecting someone?"

Leonard shook his head. "No."

Sheldon got up and went to answer the door. When he did, he found himself face to face with Amy.

**A/N: I know. Another virtually Amy-less chapter...AND another cliff hanger. But I promise it's all set up for Amy/Shamy heavy chapters coming up. Please do me the honor of leaving a review. It would really make my day. Thanks! :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for the lovely reviews! Over 250 already! You guys rock! :D And to the Anon who called themself "Updaaate" (lol), I appreciate you calling me the Queen of Cliff Hangers and Story Skills. As a result, your request, as implied by your name, is granted. ;)**

**Chapter 16**

"Hello, Sheldon," Amy said.

Sheldon reflexively shut the door, and then instantly regretted the decision. That was a very cliché thing to do. He contemplated reopening the door, but now he had to add "shut the door in Amy's face" to the list of things that he had done in the past twenty-four hours that were completely humiliating.

In the half a second it took for these thoughts to run through his brain, Leonard said, "Sheldon!" and walked over to open the door.

Before he could think it through, Sheldon's arm flew out to grab Leonard's hand, preventing him from opening the door.

"What is wrong with you?" Leonard said. "This isn't like you."

Sheldon faced Leonard and whispered. "I need you to come up with a convincing lie about why I just shut the door in Amy's face. Please keep in mind that a well executed lie comes down to the details involved."

"Sheldon," Leonard started to say, in his regular volume.

Sheldon instantly shushed him. "Do you want Amy to hear you?" he whispered.

Leonard replied with, "This is ridiculous," slapping away Sheldon's hand and opening the door.

Sheldon leapt behind the door, trying to blend in with the wall behind him.

"Hello, Leonard," Sheldon heard Amy say.

"Hi, Amy…Sheldon's feeling sick at the moment," said Leonard.

"Ok," replied Amy. "When would be a better time to return?"

Leonard glanced at Sheldon, who gave Leonard a look, eyes bugging out, vigorously shaking his head. Leonard looked back at Amy, and said, "Give him an hour."

"Ok…Perhaps I shall go over to Penny's to see if she is available."

"Sounds great…see you in an hour."

"Bye."

Leonard shut the door, and Sheldon rolled his eyes. "An hour? You told her to be back in an hour? Leonard, I have absolutely no intention of seeing Amy ever again, let alone in an hour…and what was with the lack of details in your lie?"

"Give me a break, Sheldon. Man up. So you kissed a girl. Get over it."

"_Get_ over it?" This was the worst day of Sheldon's life. "Leonard, do you realize what the events of last night have done? My entire life trajectory is now going to be completely derailed. And all because of one moment of insanity when I decided to 'hold the virgin'."

"Sheldon, I really don't think one kiss is going to derail your entire life."

Sheldon gave Leonard a look. "Oh really? How am I supposed to become a Nobel Laureate when I am busy dealing with female problems."

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "Female problems?"

"Yes. Female problems."

"I'm sorry, but just what 'female problems' do you think you'll have to deal with?"

Sheldon sighed, exasperated. "All of them! With one kiss, I will have undoubtedly caused Amy to not only fall in love with me, but to think that this means I too am in love with her. And when she returns in one hour, I will have but two options ahead of me. One, I can crush the hopes and dreams of my oldest friend, or two, I can crush my own dreams by becoming a sex crazed, lunatic boyfriend."

Leonard snorted. "I think you're thinking a little highly of yourself. And I _highly _doubt that you'll become a 'sex crazed lunatic boyfriend'. Amy knew you were drunk. She probably didn't think anything other than 'wow, Sheldon is really weird when he's drunk'."

"Oh Leonard…if only that were the case…It must be so sad to be you and to be wrong so frequently."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "I'm not wrong."

"Sadly, yes you are."

"Well, in under an hour, we'll find out, won't we?"

Suddenly Sheldon felt his stomach lurch, and ran to the bathroom, vomiting in the toilet. He nearly placed his head on the seat before he realized what he was doing.

Yes. This was most definitely the worst day of his life.

* * *

By the time an hour had passed, Sheldon had picked himself up off the bathroom floor, vigorously brushed his teeth, taken some aspirin, and showered.

He spent the entirety of the hour contemplating just what he would say to Amy if and/or when he saw her. Truth be told, he was still very much liking the idea that he move and never see her again. Every time he contemplated facing her, his stomach would feel as if it were dropping into the floor, and then he would again feel the urge to vomit. As a result of his stomach's acrobatics, he had yet to eat breakfast…or lunch, as it was now well after noon.

He was in the midst of a battle of wills between his stomach and his mind (and cursing alcohol) when he heard a knock at the door. Sheldon swallowed, and looked frantically at Leonard, who had been typing away on his computer.

"Leonard, I don't think I can do this." He stood up. "I'm going to go vomit instead. Please tell Amy that I have enjoyed our friendship, and that I wish her well on all future endeavors."

Before Leonard had a chance to respond, Sheldon ran into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. But when he got there, however, he found his nausea had lessened, and that he was not likely to vomit after all. _Mind, one. Stomach, zero,_ thought Sheldon.

He heard a knock on the bathroom door, and went to answer it, still smiling at his triumph. But when he opened the door, it was Amy, not Leonard, who was standing in front of him.

He froze.

"Hello again, Sheldon," Amy said. She held up a bag. "Penny was not home, so I went to buy you some soup instead. Leonard had mentioned you were feeling ill…which is hardly surprising considering the state you were in last I saw you."

Sheldon looked at the bag and then back at Amy. "You bought me soup?" He narrowed his eyes a bit, considering. "What kind of soup?"

"Chicken with little stars…I had to make a special request, and finagle the price a bit, but eventually I got the restaurant to prepare it."

Sheldon blinked in reply. He wasn't entirely sure what to say. He was touched that Amy should remember his soup of choice after so many years.

Sheldon looked Amy in the eye. "Thank you," he said, sincerely.

"You are most welcome," she replied, smiling. She held out the bag, and he took it.

Sheldon cleared his throat, gesturing ahead of him. "Perhaps it would be best if we went into the living room. The bathroom is hardly an appropriate place to consume soup."

Amy nodded. "I quite agree." She turned around and walked out into the living room, Sheldon following behind her.

Leonard looked up from his work, and then cleared his throat, shutting his laptop and picking it up. "You know…I think I might just go work in my bedroom. I think I'll be able to concentrate better in there."

Amy watched Leonard leave with raised eyebrows, but didn't say anything. Sheldon, who was used to Leonard's odd behavior, merely reached for a bowl to pour his soup in. He next reached for the kitchen thermometer to test the temperature. When he got back the reading, he looked at Amy and raised his eyebrows.

"One hundred and eighty degrees on the nose. I'm quite impressed."

Amy smiled. "Yes. I calculated the length of time it would take before you would be able to consume the soup, and the ambient temperature outside, to get the resultant temperature at which I requested the soup to be prepared…In case you are wondering, the temperature was two hundred and eight degrees Fahrenheit."

"Your consideration for my health, both in relation to my current hang over and food borne illness potential, is touching." Suddenly Sheldon gasped. "I'm so sorry! In my haste to consume the soup, I completely forgot to offer you a beverage."

"Thank you, but I believe I am ok at the moment."

Sheldon nodded and walked over to sit in his spot. Amy followed, sitting on the chair to Sheldon's left.

Sheldon took a bite of the soup, and instantly felt better. The warmth of the soup helped to ease the tension in his stomach and he felt his nausea start to dissipate.

Amy sat in silence while Sheldon consumed his soup. After several minutes, however, Amy spoke up.

"I believe we should discuss the events of last night."

Sheldon froze, the spoon half way to his mouth. In his gratitude towards Amy regarding the soup, he had nearly forgotten the events of the previous evening. He set down the spoon, without taking a bite, and sat up straighter.

"Alright."

Amy blinked at Sheldon for a bit, saying nothing.

Sheldon cleared his throat. "What…in particular…did you wish to discuss?"

Amy blinked. "I thought we'd start with you kissing me."

Sheldon felt his nausea return. He set down the bowl, no longer interested in eating.

He cleared his throat again. "I see."

Amy cocked her head. "What are your thoughts on the issue?"

Sheldon thought quickly, trying to decide what to say. When he had decided, he looked back at Amy, sat up even straighter, and said, "I was under the influence of alcohol, something which I can assure you will not be repeated, and therefore, the kiss cannot be taken as a serious gesture…nor can any of the other quite embarrassing things which I apparently did, but have no memory of."

Amy stared at him for a moment, expression unreadable (not that Sheldon was very good at reading expressions to begin with…really his only flaw…and even then he wasn't sure it was one). After nearly a minute of staring, she nodded once. "I agree."

"How do you propose we settle the issue?"

Amy thought for another moment. "Perhaps if we treat the friendship as a crashed computer and restore it to a point prior to the crash."

Sheldon nodded. "Very sensible."

They stared at each other for a moment, before Amy frowned, and said. "To what point are we restoring?"

Sheldon frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Do we restore to just prior to your drunken kiss? To the moment before I asked Leonard to accompany me to the wedding? Or perhaps back to the point before your friends created an account on my dating website and we were matched as a viable dating pair?"

Sheldon's mouth fell open. "How did you know about that?"

Amy raised her eyebrows. "Sheldon, the match would not only show up on your account. And even if I hadn't checked my account prior to, what I can only assume to be, the deletion of your account, the walls of your apartment are not as thick as you would like them to be. I easily heard the discussion after I left the room that first night."

Sheldon blinked at Amy in response, completely discombobulated. Amy had known this entire time that they had been matched and had said nothing?

He frowned. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Amy shrugged. "It didn't seem necessary, as you seemed vehemently opposed to our romantic pairing."

Sheldon was bothered by that statement. "I wasn't _vehemently_ opposed."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "I believe you were quite clear in your statement that you think of me as merely a friend…one which I happen to agree with."

Sheldon was bothered by that statement as well…this was quite baffling. "I see."

Amy frowned. "You _do_ hold to that statement, do you not?"

Sheldon felt backed into a corner, something which seemed to happen a lot when he was around Amy. He cleared his throat, averting his eyes. "Of course."

"Then I return to my original query. At what point would you like to restore our friendship?"

Sheldon thought for a moment. Which point would be best? Perhaps the point at which Amy asked Leonard to the wedding. After all, it appears that the dating website debacle hadn't affected their friendship, so it appeared to be unnecessary to restore prior to that point.

He looked over to Amy. "I believe the best point would be prior to your asking Leonard to the wedding. It appears that the dating website issue is a non-issue."

Amy nodded. "I completely agree."

Sheldon smiled. "Very well then. Shall we shake on it, to make it official?"

Amy thought for a moment. "May I perform an experiment prior to the restore?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Of course."

Amy paused for a moment and then leaned forward and kissed Sheldon, much to his surprise.

After she pulled back, she sat back on her seat, nodded once, and then stuck out her hand. Sheldon stared at her hand and then looked back at Amy.

"What on earth did you just do?"

"I believe I already said. An experiment."

Sheldon blinked, confused. "What was the experiment?"

"To gauge the potential of a romantic attachment."

Sheldon stared for a moment, contemplating the fact that Amy had performed such an experiment. He would most definitely have to remember not to say yes to any more experiments of Amy's without obtaining information on the purpose of said experiment.

"And what were the results?"

"Classified."

Sheldon frowned. "Just what do you mean by that?"

"It means, that I will not be telling you."

"Why not?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Obviously not, or I wouldn't be asking."

"If I were to tell you the results of said experiment, then it would likely, no matter the results, affect the success of our relationship restore."

"I fail to see how it _isn't_ going to affect the success, regardless of whether or not you tell me."

Amy shrugged. "Nevertheless, the results remain classified." She once again held out her hand.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes, contemplating the continuation of the argument, before ultimately deciding he'd prefer to go back to the comfortable state of their relationship, prior to Amy's date with Leonard.

Eyes still narrowed, and lips pressed together in irritation, he grabbed her hand and shook it.

**A/N: As always, thanks for reading. :) And I would love it if you would leave me a review. They help keep the writing mojo in the positive. :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: A big huge thank you to all those who reviewed. You make me so happy. :D**

**Chapter 17**

Sheldon watched Missy walk towards he and Amy, bracing himself for the inevitable barrage of hugs and kisses his sister always gave him, purely out of spite, he was sure.

Missy walked quickly, bag in tow, a huge smile on her face. "Shelly!"

Sheldon held out his hand, in an attempt to ward off a hug, but as usual, it turned out to be a fruitless endeavor, as Missy simply slapped his hand away, and wrapped both arms around him. He looked upwards, and sighed, before awkwardly bending an elbow to pat his sister on the back.

As Missy drew back, she placed a kiss on Sheldon's cheek, much to his dismay. He resisted the urge to immediately wipe his cheek with an antibacterial wipe, but only because the last time he had done so, Missy had responded by kissing his cheek frequently throughout the course of her visit. He would wait until she went to use the facilities.

"And how are you?" Missy asked.

"As we just spoke yesterday, I believe you already know the answer to that question," Sheldon responded.

Missy rolled her eyes. "And speaking of yesterday's conversation," she turned towards Amy, who had, up until that point, been watching Missy and Sheldon's interactions with raised eyebrows, "you can be no one else, but Amy. My word! You haven't changed a bit!"

Amy nodded once, smiling. "Hello, Missy. It would appear that your appearance has not changed either, aside from being taller in general, and wearing makeup and high heels."

"Oh my _gosh_, aren't you a hoot!" Missy laughed and lightly slapped Amy's arm. "You're so much like Sheldon, it's almost scary! No wonder he's so taken with you."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at Missy. "Shall we leave?" he asked, turning around without waiting for a response, and walking quickly towards Amy's car.

When he reached the car, he stood by the passenger side door, arms crossed, lips pressed together in irritation. Missy could be so frustrating. He was already counting down the hours until her return flight. (One hundred and sixty-four hours remaining.)

He watched Missy and Amy walking towards the car, wondering what they were discussing, as Missy was gesticulating wildly. She was probably recounting some boring story about a night of debauchery at a bar. That would be just like her; boring Amy to death. And Amy was going to have to put up with Missy's shenanigans for an entire week. Why on _earth_ was she here? Missy knew he preferred to keep her visits to once yearly. She was just doing this to spite him.

"…I wish you could have seen the look on his face when he saw that Snow Ball had been reduced to a blackened ball of fuzz. Of course, it only took about half a second before he realized that he had radiation burns on his arms and started screaming. Liked to have sent our mother into an early grave when she saw."

Missy and Amy had reached the car by that point. Amy walked over to the driver's side as Missy stopped in front of Sheldon.

He glared down at Missy. "Please refrain from boring Amy with trivial stories from our past."

Missy raised her eyebrows. "Now just what's got your undies in a bunch?"

"My 'undies', as you call them, are not in a bunch. They are satisfactorily covering my posterior."

Missy snorted, rolling her eyes, before starting to push Sheldon out of the way.

"Ex_cuse_ me," Sheldon started, "just what do you think you're doing?"

Missy gave Sheldon a look. "I'm trying to get in the car."

"I don't know what gave you the idea that you'd be sitting in front, but your seat is in the back."

Sheldon pointed behind him.

Missy raised her eyebrows. "Is that any way to treat a guest?"

"You're not my guest."

"You're absolutely right." Missy turned to Amy. "Amy, would you be a dear and kindly ask Sheldon to be kind to his sister and let her sit in the front seat? I'd sure love to catch up with you." She smiled sweetly at Sheldon at the end of her request.

Sheldon looked over at Amy, who was staring at the two of them.

"I would like to apologize for my sister's behavior. As you can see, only one of us has been imbued with the social graces of the South."

As Missy gave Sheldon another look, Amy cleared her throat and responded with, "Actually, Sheldon, I believe it is considered proper social protocol in the southern United States to put the wants and needs of a female first; in this case Missy's desire to sit in the front passenger seat of the car."

Sheldon stared for a moment as Missy chuckled, and said, "Oh I love seeing someone who knows how to handle our little Shelly."

Sheldon pressed his lips together in irritation, glared at Missy, and said, "Fine." He opened the back door, got inside, his knees pressed up against the back of the seat, and crossed his arms.

Amy and Missy both got in the car as well.

As Amy started the car and pulled out of the parking spot, Missy turned around to look at Sheldon. "Don't be such a sour puss."

"I'm not being a sour puss."

"Oh really? Because your bratty attitude, and crossed arms, say otherwise."

Sheldon paused before saying, "Why are you here?"

"I've already told you, I'm here to see you, and to catch up with Amy."

"But that still doesn't answer my question of 'why' you are here."

"Don't be so suspicious, Shelly. I like visiting, and Amy, here, gave me a reason to come."

"And what reason is that?"

"Do you really want me to say?" Missy raised her eyebrows, causing Sheldon to recall the reasons Missy had voiced over the phone.

He glanced quickly at Amy, whom, he was startled to see, was glancing at him through the rear-view mirror, before turning his gaze back to his sister. "No."

"Alright then. Stop being such a brat and let's enjoy ourselves. I hardly ever get to see you, since you flat refuse to visit for Christmas every year."

"I'm not being a brat. I'm merely feeling put out…And you know that I have no desire to celebrate the birth of a deity whose existence I don't believe in."

"Whatever you say, Shelly." Missy turned to Amy and spent the rest of the car ride asking about her recent move.

* * *

As they were walking towards Amy's apartment, Missy turned to Sheldon and asked, "How's Raj doing? Has he made any progress on that little problem he has?"

Sheldon stopped dead, throwing his arm out to bar Missy from walking any further. "I thought we settled this last time. Raj is not to be considered a viable candidate for pair bonding."

Missy raised one eyebrow. "And _I_ thought we had settle last time that you were going to stop pretending like you have _any_ say in who I date." She casually tossed his arm aside and finished the walk to Amy's door.

Sheldon stayed put, crossing his arms. "As your brother, I should have every right to decide who you date. It's my duty to protect our genetic line."

Amy was again watching the siblings argue with raised eyebrows, while standing in her open doorway.

"Is that so?" Missy responded.

"Yes."

Missy crossed her arms as well. "Alright. Then if that's the game you want to play, I get a say in who _you_ date."

Sheldon snorted derisively. "That's not a threat. You know very well that I have no interest in dating."

Missy raised another eyebrow. "We'll see about that," she said, glancing at Amy pointedly.

Sheldon's mouth popped open, and he uncrossed his arms in surprise. Just what was Missy implying?

"Yeah…well…you…" Sheldon couldn't think of a proper retort. Instead he pressed his lips together, and walked briskly to the door, stopping to glare at Missy, before stepping quickly past her into Amy's living room.

As Sheldon sat down on Amy's couch, crossing his arms again, he saw Missy smirk, and then wink at Amy from the corner of his eye. What's more, he saw Amy give Missy a small smile back. Sheldon furrowed his brows in confusion. Why on earth did Amy smile at Missy like that?

Missy wheeled her bag over by Amy's desk, setting her purse on top.

"Missy," Amy said, still by the door, "can I interest you in a beverage?"

Missy smiled. "Why thank you, Amy. It's nice to see that _someone_ here has good manners." Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Do you have a diet Coke?"

Amy nodded. "Of course. Please have a seat, and I'll get it for you." Amy turned to Sheldon, who was still sitting with his arms crossed. "Sheldon, can I interest you in a beverage as well?"

He looked over at Amy, relaxing his demeanor a bit. "Thank you, but no. I shall be leaving shortly and don't wish to waste the contents of a beverage."

As Amy went to go get Missy's beverage, Missy sat down next to Sheldon, frowning. "You're going to leave so soon after I just got here?"

Sheldon turned his head to look over at her, and replied. "Yes. I have to make up for the work that I was forced to miss today, while picking you up from the airport."

"Can't you just do it tomorrow?"

"No."

"Why not? I came all this way to see my brother, and he's going to just leave?"

Sheldon raised his eyebrows, not the least bit fooled by Missy's feigned reluctance at his leaving.

"Perhaps if you had given me more notice as to your impending arrival, I could have rearranged my work schedule to better accommodate you. As it is, I can afford to take no extra time off. Unlike working at Fudruckers, the work that I do is important."

Amy had returned by that point, and was giving Missy her drink. She frowned at Sheldon. "That was a little uncalled for don't you think?"

Sheldon stared opened mouthed at Amy.

"I think it's nice that Missy wants to come for a visit. Having no siblings of my own, I envy you, yours."

Missy smiled and patted Amy on the arm. "Why thank you, Amy."

Sheldon was having a difficult time processing the fact that _his_ friend was now standing up for his sister, against him. Ugh. This was exactly the kind of discord Missy brought with her. First she turns his male friends against him, attempting to become overly friendly with Raj, and thus creating discord among the group, and now she was attempting to turn his girl/friend against him.

After several silent moments of processing, Sheldon opened his mouth to respond. "Amy, I would have thought that, as I am your friend, you would agree with me that Missy's impromptu visit is a strain on our resources."

"What resources?" Amy asked, looking confused. "While I will have to work during the day, I find myself looking forward to sharing my home with a female companion." She turned to Missy. "You are most welcome in my home, and please, let me assure you that it's not an imposition."

Sheldon blinked at Amy, completely discombobulated to be outnumbered. He had been certain that Amy would side with him against Missy, much like she had when they were children. But instead, he found himself the odd man out…which was especially ironic since he _was_ the only man in the room.

"I…am going to leave," Sheldon decided suddenly.

Missy frowned at him as Amy gave him a look of surprise.

"Oh now, Sheldon, don't be like that."

"Be like what? I told you that I have work to do. I'm merely choosing to leave several minutes earlier than I originally planned."

"Well, at least let Amy and I drive you to your home."

"No."

"Shelly…"

"I…am going to take a taxi."

Amy frowned. "You hate taxis. You told me you thought camel riding would be a better mode of transportation."

"Yes…well…I was being facetious."

Amy cocked her head. "Really? Because you appeared to be quite worked up about it at the time."

Sheldon felt his right eye start to twitch. "Yes. Really…now if you'll excuse me, I have plenty of things to be doing."

He looked over at Missy, who was giving him a look which made him feel the stirrings of guilt, but he quickly pushed the feeling away. He walked over to the door, opened it, and said, "Good evening," walking out and shutting the door behind him.

As he walked towards the elevator, he pulled out his phone and dialed the number to order a taxi. He would much prefer to ride the bus, but did not feel like ruining these pants by sitting on the bus without his bus pants. Not that he wouldn't have to double wash these pants as well, after sitting in a taxi…

By the time he reached the sidewalk, he found himself pondering the events of the last week. His life had been completely turned upside down, and he still had yet to determine the exact cause of all the chaos. Somehow, he had ended up angry with Amy, had gotten drunk at a bar, had kissed Amy, and now Amy had sided with his sister in an argument.

Sheldon huffed. The entire situation was unacceptable. Amy was his friend, and he didn't like Missy trying to steal her. And he didn't like Missy staying with Amy either. Supposedly, according to Missy, she missed Sheldon, and yet she wasn't even staying with him.

As he pondered the situation, he heard someone call his name. When he turned around, he found himself looking at Amy.

He blinked at her in confusion. "Amy, what are you doing out here?"

"Please allow me to drive you home."

He paused for a moment before responding with, "Don't you have to keep your guest happy?"

Amy blinked at him a moment before replying. "Missy stated that she wished to take a nap. Therefore she requires no entertaining." Amy cocked her head to the side. "Please just allow me to drive you home. I don't like the thought of you riding in a taxi."

Sheldon found the corners of his mouth drawing upwards at Amy's concern. He shrugged. "Alright."

Amy smiled back at him, and then started walking towards her car.

When they had been driving for several minutes, Sheldon turned to Amy. "Why did you stick up for Missy?"

Amy's brow furrowed. "You seemed to be unnecessarily harsh towards her."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well…she seems to genuinely want to spend time with you, but you continually reject her attempts at doing so. And I believe it was unnecessary to point out your superiority towards her."

"But I am superior."

"Of course, but there's no reason to be so mean about it."

Sheldon frowned. "You thought I was being mean?"

"Yes."

Sheldon blinked at Amy, considering this new information. It had never occurred to him that he was being mean to Missy. And it bothered him that Amy thought so.

"Assuming you are correct, how would you propose I make restitution for my behavior?" Sheldon asked.

Amy glanced at him. "Well, I suppose you could start by offering to spend time with Missy. Perhaps you could take her out for tea?"

Sheldon pondered the suggestion. "That sounds like an acceptable idea…"

He frowned as a new thought occurred to him. "Amy…why are you so nice to Missy? Don't you remember how she treated us?"

Amy looked over at him briefly before returning her eyes to the road. "Yes of course. But that was a long time ago, Sheldon. And Missy obviously isn't the same person she was when we were seven."

"She's not?"

"No. In fact, from your letters, it seems that she hasn't been the same person for quite some time…I simply chose not to hold a grudge."

Sheldon blinked, unsure how to respond to this new piece of information. "Fascinating…and you don't feel any need to be wary of her, based on your previous experience?"

"We're adults now, Sheldon. And Missy and I had a nice conversation over the telephone yesterday…Truth be told, my observations indicate that Missy is very fond of you."

"Fond of me?" Sheldon didn't know what to think. "But we were arguing the entire time."

"Actually, it appeared to be you who were doing most of the arguing. Missy made attempts to speak with you, but you continually brushed them off."

They pulled up to Sheldon's apartment building at that moment. Amy put the car in park, and Sheldon unbuckled his seatbelt. He paused before getting out of the car, and said, "Thank you, Amy. You have given me a great deal to think about."

"You're most welcome, Sheldon," Amy replied with a smile. "I look forward to spending time with Missy _and_ you this week."

Unexpected, the slightly hazy memory of Sheldon's kiss with Amy popped into his head. Sheldon cleared his throat, and responded with, "Yes, I as well," before quickly opening the car door, and getting out.

Why on earth had _that_ thought popped into his head?

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I'm a need baby greedy baby writer, so please do me the kindness of leaving a review. Muchas Gracias. :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

The next evening Sheldon had Leonard drop him off at Amy's after work. He had decided, as a form of restitution for his behavior the prior day, to spend the evening watching a movie with Missy and Amy. The texting negotiations for which movie to watch had been trying, but, ultimately, Missy had given in to his suggestion to watch the JJ Abrams' version of _Star Trek_. It certainly wasn't his favorite film version of Star Trek, but it was infinitely better than Missy's suggestion that they watch _Bridesmaids_.

Sheldon knocked on Amy's door, and was surprised when Missy was the one to answer.

"Why are you answering Amy's door?"

"Amy's not home yet."

Sheldon frowned. "She's not?" He checked his watch. "Where is she?"

Missy shrugged, stepping aside to let him through the door. "She said something about a traffic accident."

Sheldon turned around quickly. "Hers or another's?"

"What?"

"Was it Amy who was in a car accident or someone else who is currently holding up traffic?"

"She didn't say."

"Missy!" Sheldon exclaimed, in alarm, "You didn't clarify?"

He immediately pulled out his phone and began texting Amy.

_Are you alright? Missy had informed me that you stated a car accident as the ambiguous reason for your tardiness._

After he sent the message, he stared at his phone for a moment before typing out and sending another text.

_I only ask because Missy stated you did not clarify whether or not it was you who were in the accident._

Sheldon was in the middle of typing, _Please respond,_ when his phone dinged at him, to indicate that Amy had responded.

_My apologies, Sheldon. I should have texted you as well. I am quite alright. I am merely stuck in the resulting traffic. Thank you for your concern._

Sheldon let out a sigh of relief, and looked up to find Missy watching him with raised eyebrows.

He blinked in surprise, and then frowned. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Why won't you just admit you like Amy?"

Sheldon raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I've never stated I don't. She is my oldest and dearest friend."

Missy rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

She walked over to sit on the couch, leaving Sheldon standing by the door, perplexed. "I most certainly _don't_ know what you mean."

Missy crossed her legs, and patted the seat next to her. "Let's you and I have a little chat, shall we?"

After a moment spent contemplating the offer, Sheldon shrugged his shoulders and walked over to sit next to Missy.

"What are we discussing?" he asked.

"You and Amy."

"What about me and Amy?" Why was everyone obsessed with him and Amy?

"What is so difficult about admitting that you like her?" When Sheldon started to open his mouth, Missy hastily added, "As more than a friend."

Sheldon snapped his mouth shut and turned his head away from Missy. "As I have told everyone who has made the insinuation, I do _not_ have…those kinds feelings for Amy. We are merely friends." He turned his head back to look at Missy. "And I don't want to have a conversation about this subject. Please choose another."

Missy crossed her arms. "No. We're going to discuss this."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "I don't see why you care whom I do or do not date."

"I _care_ because I can see that you care."

"Well, if that's the case, then you can save your caring for another time, because you are wrong. I don't care."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Really."

"Then why did you kiss her?"

Sheldon sighed. "I was inebriated. My actions were the result of overindulgence in alcohol."

"Since you're always going on about how much you know, I figure you probably already know this little fact, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Some people think that because drinking lowers people's defenses, the things they say and do while drunk are the most honest."

"You're right. I did know of the theory."

"And?"

"And I reject it."

Missy sighed. "Why is it so difficult for you to just admit you want to date Amy?"

"Why is it so difficult for you to see that I don't?" Sheldon countered, becoming more irritated by the moment. "And, for your information, Amy feels the same way. I don't see why everyone insists on pushing the two of us towards a romantic attachment."

Missy gave Sheldon a look. "Just what makes you believe Amy feels the same way you supposedly do?"

Sheldon gave Missy a look of genuine surprise. "She was the one who proposed the relationship restore."

"I see," Missy said. "And was that before or after you told her not to take that kiss seriously?"

Sheldon frowned. "How do you know what Amy and I discussed?"

"That's not important. Quit trying to evade the question."

"I'm not evading the question."

"Sheldon?" Missy raised her eyebrows, giving him a look he had, long ago, learned meant to expect an impending arm punch if he didn't comply with her wishes.

He sighed. "Fine. It was after…but I don't see what that has to do with anything. She still made the proposal. A proposal which I believe was quite practical."

Missy snorted derisively. "Oh, it was practical alright."

"Just what does that mean?" Sheldon was reaching the limit with this conversation. They seemed to be talking themselves in circles.

Missy turned more fully towards Sheldon, grabbing his hand, and hanging on tight when he attempted to pull away. "Shelly, I want you to listen to me. I have dated a lot of men…"

"I'll say," Sheldon said, earning him a glare from Missy.

"Watch it. I'm not above giving you the good smack you deserve."

Sheldon did a double take. "That was uncalled for."

"No, it wasn't…and stop trying to change the subject. As I was saying, I have dated a lot of men, and I've never had any of them look at me the way that you look at Amy."

Sheldon frowned, confused. "How do I look at Amy?"

"Oh, you know, just like you completely adore her."

Sheldon snorted. "That's ridiculous."

"Sheldon, why on earth do you think all of your friends are trying to get you two together?"

"Because they're obsessed with romantic pair bonding, of course."

Missy rolled her eyes. "And have they ever been interested in setting you up before you mentioned Amy was moving here?"

Sheldon thought for a moment. "As a matter of fact, yes. Prior to my announcement that Amy was coming to live here, Wolowitz and Koothrapali signed me up for a dating website."

"Mmhmm. And who exactly did it match you up with?"

Sheldon looked away, again attempting to pull his hand away from Missy's. "I don't see how it matters."

"Oh, believe me, when it comes to convincing you, it matters. Who was it Shelly?"

Sheldon looked upwards, sighing and pressing his lips together. No matter what Missy said, he didn't see how any of this was relevant.

"Shelly…" Missy's voice had a warning in it.

He looked back down, eyes narrowed, and reluctantly said, "Amy." Then he hastily added, "But the algorithms used in dating websites are complete hokum. That could hardly be considered empirical evidence as to whether or not Amy and I are well suited for each other in a romantic sense."

Missy suddenly slapped Sheldon on the side of his head.

"Ow!" Sheldon cried, rubbing his head. "What was that for?"

"That's for being so darned stubborn."

"I'm not being stubborn. I'm being practical and reasonable."

Missy pointed a finger at Sheldon. "Now you listen to me. You like that girl and you're gonna admit it. And, if it helps you get over whatever it is holding you back, it's pretty obvious that Amy likes you to." When Sheldon started to open his mouth, Missy quickly added, "As more than a friend."

Sheldon was contemplating his response, when the door knob started jiggling. He grabbed his hand away from Missy, and stood up quickly, as Amy came through the door.

Sheldon folded his hands behind his back, and greeted Amy. "Hello, Amy. Welcome to your home."

Amy smiled at him. "Hello, Sheldon. Thank you for the welcome." She looked over at Missy. "Hello, Missy. I trust you had a pleasant day?"

"Oh yes, Penny and I had a wonderful time shopping today. Would you like to see the dress I bought?"

"Oh," said Amy, sounding a little surprised. "Yes, I suppose so."

Missy hopped up. "You just stay right here, and I'll be back in a jif."

After Missy left the room, Amy walked over to set her bag down. Feeling discombobulated to have had his conversation with Missy interrupted by none other than the subject of said conversation, Sheldon stood awkwardly by the couch, saying nothing.

Amy looked over at Sheldon. "Would you like a beverage? It would seem that Missy did not provide you with one…although I suppose as she is a guest in my home, the rules for whether or not she would provide a beverage for another guest would be a little unclear."

Sheldon cleared his throat. "Water will be fine, thank you."

Amy cocked her head. "Is something the matter?"

Sheldon looked all around the room, at everything, except Amy. "No. Nothing's the matter. Why would you think that?"

"Well, for one thing, you're standing by the couch instead of sitting on it."

Sheldon moved to sit on the couch, perching on the very edge. "See? Nothing's wrong." He cleared his throat again. "Now if you don't mind, I'm feeling rather parched."

Amy was in the middle of filling Sheldon's glass with bottled water, when there was a knock on the door. Sheldon looked at Amy. "Are you expecting anyone?"

Amy shook her head. "No."

"Odd. Would you like me to answer it?"

"If you wouldn't mind. You are closest to the door."

Sheldon got up and walked over to the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see Raj standing there, finishing a glass of champagne.

"What are you doing here?" Sheldon asked.

"I'm here to see Missy," Raj replied, smiling. "We have a date."

"No you don't."

"Um, yeah dude, we do."

Sheldon looked over at Amy, who shrugged her shoulders. He turned back to Raj. "Missy is watching JJ Abrams' _Star Trek_ with Amy and I tonight. I'm afraid you have the wrong evening."

Sheldon started to close the door, when he heard Missy say from behind him. "Sheldon, don't close the door on the poor man!"

When Sheldon turned around, he saw Missy in her "new dress", and felt his mouth drop open. To call that thing a dress was a gross overstatement. Undergarment would be more appropriate. It had no straps, only came to about half way down her thighs, and was unnecessarily tight.

"You're not going out tonight. You said you were going to watch a movie with me and Amy. And you _certainly_ aren't wearing that…thing you called a dress."

Missy raised her eyebrows, looking innocent. "My dear Shelly, I plum forgot to mention that I was busy tonight. It looks like it will have to be just you and Amy who watch the movie…and as for my dress, what I wear is none of your business."

Sheldon could only stare in response. He looked over at Raj, doing a double take when he saw the way Raj was grinning at Missy.

Sheldon looked back at Missy. "I forbid you to go."

Missy snorted. "As if I'd let you stop me. If daddy threatening to shoot my boyfriend with a double barreled shot gun didn't stop me from dating, then I don't think you forbidding it will." She walked over and looped her arm through Raj's. "Are you ready?"

"Hang on just a minute! Raj, you've been drinking. You can't drive!"

Raj waved Sheldon away. "Relax. I rented a Limo." He looked at Missy. "Shall we?"

Missy nodded and the two of them walked down the hallway, leaving Sheldon staring open mouthed at the doorway.

After he shut the door, he turned to Amy, who had brought his water to the couch with her, and said, "I can't believe she stood us up. This entire evening was supposed to be in restitution for my behavior yesterday, and she has the audacity to go on a date with my friend instead…and I spent all that time talking her out of watching _Bridesmaids_."

Amy gave Sheldon a sympathetic look as he sat down. "I'm sorry you're disappointed, Sheldon. But if you don't mind, we can still watch the movie."

Sheldon sighed. "Ok. I have to warn you though Amy, this version of _Star Trek_ is greatly altered. It is nowhere near as superior as the original."

Amy sat back. "I don't know. I liked it."

Sheldon frowned. "You mean you've seen it?"

Amy paused for a moment before responding with, "Yes. I have."

"When?"

"When it was in theaters."

"You saw _Star Trek_ in the theaters and never told me?"

Amy shrugged her shoulders. "We didn't usually discuss popular culture in our letters."

"And you liked it?"

"Yes."

Sheldon suddenly understood. "Oh, I get it. You liked it because you've never seen _Star Trek: The Original Series_."

Amy averted her eyes, cleared her throat, and responded with, "Actually I have. I find that I prefer the slightly more emotion based Spock in the JJ Abrams version of the film. I found it intriguing how the altered timeline version of himself was able to have a relationship with Uhura."

Sheldon stared at Amy, completely surprised by this news. Since when had Amy ever watched science fiction? Certainly not when they were children. And he couldn't believe that she had never mentioned it, when she knew what a fan he was of the series. And why on _earth_ did she prefer a more emotion based Spock?

Before Sheldon had a chance to respond, his phone started ringing. He looked to see who it was, noting that it was Raj. Fearing that Raj and Missy had been in a freak car accident, Sheldon quickly answered.

"Hello?"

"Sheldon? It's Missy. Listen, in my hurry to leave, I forgot my purse. Could you be a dear and bring it to me?" Sheldon heard muffled talking, and then, "Come by the Comic Book Store. We'll meet you there. Thanks!"

Before Sheldon even had a chance to respond, Missy had hung up. He stared at his phone, and then sighed.

"Who was that?" Amy asked.

"Missy," Sheldon responded, getting up. "She forgot her purse and demanded that we bring it to her at the Comic Book Store."

"But we were just about to start the movie."

"Apparently, that will have to wait." Sheldon looked around, trying to locate the purse. When he noticed it sitting on Amy's desk, he walked over, grabbing it quickly. But as he pulled the strap, it got stuck on the drawer handle of Amy's desk, pulling it open, and spilling paperclips inside. Sheldon sighed, dislodging the purse, and setting it down so that he could clean up the paperclips.

"Sheldon, you don't have to do that," Amy said. "We should probably get going. We don't want Missy to wait overlong for her purse."

"No. I am responsible for your currently messy desk, therefore, I should clean it up. And it will only take a moment."

Sheldon pulled the drawer open further, starting to pick up paperclips.

"No really, Sheldon. It's not necessary," said Amy.

"Nonsense…" Sheldon started to reply, when something caught his eye. He frowned, picking it up to get a closer look.

He blinked, not quite believing what he was looking at. It was his long lost Mr. Spock action figure, missing since the day Amy had left twenty-three years ago.

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Sheldon stood looking at his childhood toy for several more moments. When he turned around, he found Amy standing still, eyes wide.

His mind started racing. Why did Amy have his Mr. Spock action figure? Why did she take it? Why had she kept it secret for so long? Why had she denied having it? What did this mean? Could Missy be correct? Did Amy view him as a potential romantic partner?

But when Sheldon opened his mouth, what came out was, "Why did you lie to me?" He held up the action figure.

Amy's mouth opened and closed, reminding Sheldon of a goldfish.

"When I wrote to you twenty-three years ago requesting the return of my Mr. Spock action figure, you wrote back and stated that you didn't have it…you even attempted to make me feel guilty for suspecting you."

He waited for her response. He supposed he should be angry, but the only thing he felt at the moment was shock and curiosity.

Amy looked at the action figure, and then back at him. "Sheldon…I…am sorry."

"For what exactly? Stealing? Lying?"

Amy bit her bottom lip and a wrinkle appeared in between her eyebrows. "All of the above?"

"Is that a question?" Sheldon looked down at the action figure in his hand, running his thumb over it. When he looked back up, he repeated his initial question. "Why did you lie to me?"

Amy took a deep breath and sighed heavily. She walked over to her couch, falling into the seat and slouching her shoulders. "I was embarrassed."

Sheldon walked over and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "For stealing your supposed best friend's toy? I should think so."

Amy started fidgeting with her hands.

"Why did you take it?" Sheldon asked.

Amy fidgeted for several more moments. When she raised her head, she looked away from him rather than at him, causing Sheldon to wonder if she had any intention of answering the question.

When she did answer, Sheldon thought her voice sounded strange. "I wanted something to remember my best friend by. I had never had a friend before, and I wanted a reminder."

Sheldon frowned in confusion. "But…we were planning to write letters. Why should you have worried about forgetting me?"

Still looking away from him, Amy replied, "Plenty of people say they're going to keep in touch and never do."

Sheldon frowned as a new thought occurred to him. "Is that why you watched Star Trek?"

Amy shrugged. Sheldon wished she would turn to look at him. "Initially, I guess. I used to watch _The Next Generation_ when it was on during the week and _The Original Series_ reruns on the weekends. I figured you were watching, and so I liked the thought that we were watching the same thing."

Sheldon processed that comment. He thought back to all the times that he had watched Star Trek as a child, and found that he enjoyed the thought that Amy had been watching at the same time. He felt something else, as well, but wasn't able to identify it, so he logged it away for further study later.

"Why did you keep the action figure for so long?"

Amy stood up, keeping her back to him. Why on earth was she not looking at him so deliberately? It was more baffling and irritating than finding out his friend had stolen his childhood toy.

"As I said before," Amy started, "I wanted the reminder of you…"

"But…"

"I'd prefer we keep it at that Sheldon," Amy said, quickly, sounding almost angry. "You don't have to know all of my reasons, only that I took it and that I'm very sorry."

Sheldon frowned. "Why are you angry with me?"

"I'm not angry with you."

"I know I'm not good at reading emotions, especially when the subject refuses to turn around so that I can view their facial expressions, but your tone indicates that you are irritated. I'm the one who should be irritated, not you. You're the one who betrayed me, not the other way around."

Amy whipped around quickly, a look of horror on her face. "I did not betray you. I was sad about leaving. I took the toy as a token of our friendship."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows, feeling his anger start to rise. "In fact, you did betray me. You took my very favorite toy and then lied about it…for many years. Quite frankly, I'm unsure at the moment what the state of our friendship is. It appears that you have been a liar and a thief for nearly the entire time which I have known you."

The look Amy gave Sheldon made him regret his words. She turned back around quickly, showing her back to him again. Sheldon sighed. He was no good at emotions. He wasn't even very angry. In truth, "hurt" might be the better way to phrase it. And "confused". Finding the Mr. Spock action figure so shortly after his conversation with Missy had left Sheldon with so many feelings that he was unsure of what to think.

"I said I was sorry, Sheldon," Amy said, her voice sounding funny again, as if she were catching a cold.

Sheldon pondered what to do. Did he forgive her so readily? To steal one's favored toy and then lie about it for twenty-three years seemed too great an offense to forgive so readily. But Sheldon also didn't like the thought of having his relationship with Amy irrevocably changed. In fact, now that he thought about it, the mere thought of not having Amy as his friend caused him to feel another undefined emotion; one which was definitely not happy.

Sheldon found himself at a loss as to what to do, and was unwilling at that moment to take the time to examine his feelings. He stood up abruptly. "I believe Missy is waiting for her purse. We should get going."

Amy nodded, her back still to him, said, "I have to use the restroom. I'll be back shortly," and then walked away without looking at him.

Sheldon walked back over to Amy's desk to grab Missy's purse. He looked down at the action figure in his hand, pondering what to do with it. It was his toy, after all…but he already had a Mr. Spock action figure, exactly like this one.

Deciding he didn't want the reminder of Amy's betrayal, he set the action figure back on Amy's desk, grabbed Missy's purse, and walked out the door, deciding to wait in the hallway. When Amy joined him, she locked the door, and they walked wordlessly down the hall and towards Amy's car.

They were silent the entirety of the car ride, Sheldon pondering the situation, and becoming frustrated at the lack of logical answers which Amy had provided. By the time they arrived, Sheldon was feeling highly irritated; at Amy for stealing his doll and lying to him about it; at Missy for causing him to question his feelings towards Amy in the first place; at Raj for taking his sister on a date to begin with.

As soon as Amy stopped the car, Sheldon got out, taking Missy's purse, and walking brusquely towards the front door. When he went inside, he quickly spotted Missy and Raj, and walked over, shoving Missy's purse in her face.

"Here," he said, angrily waving it at her.

Missy took the purse and said, "What is your problem?"

"Next time, please remember your purse."

"Are you telling me that you're upset because you had to come down here? I thought you'd love the chance to show Amy your little picture book shop."

Sheldon pressed his lips together and glared at Missy. "It's not a picture book shop, it's a comic book store. And I see no reason why I should wish to show it to Amy." He crossed his arms.

Amy had walked in by that point, and Sheldon noted that, rather than join them, she had walked over to a batman display. He noticed Stuart walk over to her, as well.

He looked back at Missy and Raj, both of whom were looking at each other frowning. Missy looked back at Sheldon. "Is something wrong?"

"Why should anything be wrong? My friend is currently ogling my sister like the Bob's Big Boy hamburger his religion forbids him to eat. And my own sister feigned interest in an evening with me, actually taking the time to argue with me about what movie we would watch, only to reveal that she had _lied_ about her evening plans. No, absolutely nothing is wrong."

Missy stared at Sheldon, then looked past him, presumably at Amy, and then back at Sheldon again. "Did something go wrong with Amy?"

Sheldon looked away and shuffled. "What could possibly have gone wrong with Amy? After all, we're so well suited for each other right?" He looked between Missy and Raj, but neither of them answered him.

Missy turned to Raj and said, "I'm going to go have a chat with Amy. I'll be right back."

After she walked away, Raj turned to Sheldon and said, "Relax dude."

Sheldon glared. "Don't tell me to relax. I'm letting you date my sister. I can be as unrelaxed as I please."

Raj held up his hands. "Ok, ok. Calm down."

Stuart walked up at that moment. "Hey, Sheldon."

Sheldon relaxed his stance, ever so slightly. "Hello, Stuart."

Stuart shuffled in his place and cleared his throat. "I, uh…have a question for you."

"Alright," Sheldon replied.

Stuart cleared his throat again. "So…uh…are you and Amy dating?"

Sheldon blinked in surprise. "No."

Stuart cleared his throat a third time. "And…uh…are you interested in dating Amy?"

Sheldon was very aware of Raj staring at him.

"Yeah, Sheldon," said Raj. "_Are_ you interested in dating Amy?"

Sheldon felt back into a corner. This was the very last question he wanted to answer at this moment, especially when he wasn't even sure what the state of their friendship was. He pressed his lips together before deciding to respond with, "No."

Stuart nodded, said, "Ok," and then walked away. Raj looked at Sheldon and shook his head. Sheldon just crossed his arms.

Missy returned and said to Raj, "Well, why don't we get going?"

Sheldon turned to them and said, "Before you resume your date, please drop me off at my apartment."

"Why can't Amy drop you off?" Missy asked.

"I don't wish to have her drop me off. I'd rather have you do it."

"Well, what if we don't want to do it? We're on a date, Shelly."

He gave Missy a look, attempting a blank expression. "Then I suggest you do it quickly so you can return to your date."

Raj looked over at Missy, putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's ok, Missy. We can drop him off and then continue on our date."

"Excellent. Thank you," Sheldon replied. Then he turned on his heel and walked out the door, getting into the back of the limo waiting out front.

Missy and Raj joined him shortly afterward. No one spoke during the ride back to the apartment, for which Sheldon was grateful. He was still feeling a lot of undefined emotions, and did not wish to have to carry on a boring conversation. When the limo pulled up outside the apartment building, Sheldon turned to Missy and Raj, and said, "Thank you."

After getting out, Sheldon walked slowly up the stairs. His anger was starting to wear off, now that he was no longer in the presence of Missy, Raj, and most notably, Amy. This entire evening had been very perplexing, and he found himself with the desire to retire early to bed.

When Sheldon reached the top of the stairs, he started to unlock his door. Suddenly the door across from him opened and he heard Penny say, "Sheldon, what's going on?"

Sheldon turned back to look at her. "What do you mean?"

Penny held up her phone and said, "I just got a text from Amy saying that you're mad at her, and that Stuart just asked her on a date."

**A/N: Thanks a million for reading! Please review. :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for the deliciously lovely reviews. They make me so happy! And thanks for all the love in the form of Favoriting and Alerting my story. It makes me feel giddy. :) I can't believe I'm at chapter 20 already...it feels like I just started this thing!**

**Chapter 20**

Sheldon's ears started ringing, and his mind blanked, save one thought, which kept repeating itself over and over. _Stuart just asked her on a date_…_Stuart just asked her on a date…Stuart just asked her on a date…_

"Sheldon?"

Sheldon blinked and looked over at Penny, briefly forgetting why she was even standing in front of him.

"Yes?"

Penny frowned. "Are you alright, Sweetie? You look a little…stunned."

Sheldon blinked at Penny. "Of course I'm alright." _Stuart asked her on a date._

"Are you sure? You don't look alright."

Sheldon didn't respond, but stared at Penny.

In an instant his ears stopped ringing and his mind regained its clarity, and then promptly started racing. Why did Stuart ask Amy out on a date? How did Amy respond to the request? Why did he, Sheldon, even care? How did Amy respond to the request? How was this going to affect their friendship? How did Amy respond to the request?

Before Sheldon properly thought the question through, he found himself saying "Did she accept?"

Penny looked a little shocked by his question, which he was already regretting. "I…don't know. The message didn't say. Why are you mad at her?"

Sheldon, mind still focused on Stuart's date proposal, responded with, "She took my Mr. Spock action figure."

Penny frowned. "Why would she do that?"

"She was sad about leaving," Sheldon said, wondering if there was a way he could find out if Amy had accepted.

"Leaving? Is she moving again? She just got here."

Sheldon looked at Penny again. "What are you talking about?"

"What are _you_ talking about?"

"Amy."

"Ok…so am I."

Sheldon blinked at Penny, totally uncomprehending their current conversation. "As I am at a complete loss as to what you're talking about, I'm going to end our conversation. Goodnight, Penny."

And without waiting for a response, Sheldon opened the door, walked through, and shut it behind him. Then he walked quickly past Leonard on the couch and into his bedroom, in order to avoid being disturbed.

After closing the door behind him, he stood there staring, unseeing, at his comic book collection. He did not like this. The events of the past several days had been harrowing enough without finding out, in a single night, that his sister was on a date with Raj, that Amy had stolen his Mr. Spock and then lied about it, and now that Amy had a date request from Stuart. What on _earth_ would Amy see in Stuart? There was no way she was going to accept…

But what if she did?

Unacceptable!

Sheldon began pacing around his room. It was absolutely unacceptable for Amy to accept Stuart's date proposal. What on earth would she see in a character like Stuart? Sure he ran a comic book store, but Amy didn't like comic books…or did she?

Sheldon stopped pacing and looked over at his comic book collection. He _thought_ Amy didn't like comic books, but he had also been laboring under the impression that she didn't like science fiction either, when clearly he had been wrong about that. What if it turned out that she _did_ like comic books and thus a date with Stuart was an appealing offer?

Unacceptable!

Sheldon decided he needed to figure out if Amy had accepted Stuart's offer…but how? He thought quickly for a few moments, and decided Facebook was the first place he would look.

He quickly walked out into the common area to grab his laptop and discovered that Penny was there, talking with Leonard. They both looked up and stopped talking when he entered the room.

"It's alright," Sheldon said, unplugging his laptop. "I know you're discussing me and Amy and Stuart's date proposal, so there's no need to stop on my account."

Without waiting for their response, and not caring to hear it even if he had stuck around, Sheldon walked brusquely back into his room, shutting the door behind him. He sat on the bed and then turned on the computer, cursing his decision to shut it down completely instead of simply hibernating it. If he had chosen to hibernate then he would already have his web browser open.

Sheldon tapped his fingers on his knees impatiently, and then groaned when he saw that the computer was updating. Of course. His decision to shut down had been due to the need to update. He watched the ticker move at a glacial pace, becoming more irritated by the moment.

Why can't these dag blasted things update when they shut down instead of when you restarted them? Didn't they know that people had better things to be doing than sitting here waiting for tickers to move to one hundred when female companions could be accepting the date proposals of acquaintances who own comic book stores?

At last the computer completed its updating process and proceeded to start. Sheldon quickly opened up his web browser and went to Facebook. The first thing to catch his eye was something in his newsfeed that read _Stuart is now in a relationship._

Sheldon's eyes bugged out and his breath caught. How did the man work so fast? Sheldon felt his respiratory rate increase…until he looked closer. Stuart _Boyd_ is now in a relationship. Stuart Boyd, the gravel monkey from the Geology Department. Why did anyone care? Why was he even friends with this Stuart?

Sheldon quickly unfriended Stuart Boyd, and then typed in "Stuart Bloom". When he got to Stuart's page, Sheldon started scanning through the top most status updates.

_Thinking of taking Zoloft._

_Perhaps I should have rethought my career choice. I knew I should have gone with "research analyst"._

_Met a cute girl tonight._ (Sheldon's breath caught again.) _Too bad I didn't work up the nerve to ask her out._

Sheldon exhaled. He looked at the date on that last update and saw that it was from several weeks ago. He frowned. Several weeks ago? Who waited that long in between status updates? This reminded Sheldon that it had been nearly four hours since his last update. Since Stuart's Facebook page was, at this point, useless, Sheldon went back to his newsfeed and quickly updated his status.

_I am currently at home, realizing just how useless Facebook is when people refuse to update their statuses in a timely manner. You're welcome, friends._

Sheldon sat back and again wondered how he could discover whether or not Amy had accepted Stuart's date.

Sheldon put his laptop down and started pacing again. He had to know…But how? Maybe Penny had heard back from Amy by now. Perhaps Penny had texted Amy asking her the very question that Sheldon had asked her.

Sheldon walked brusquely out into the living room, only to find that only Leonard was present.

"Where's Penny?"

"Oh, she had to go. Someone vomited at work or something, and they needed her to cover the last few hours of a shift."

Sheldon looked at the door of their apartment, willing Penny to burst through it. If Penny was at work, how on earth was he going to find out if Amy had accepted?

He turned to Leonard. "Leonard. Penny talks to you. What did she say about Amy?"

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "She told me that you were mad at her and that Stuart asked her out."

"She said I was mad at her? Why would I be mad at Penny?"

Leonard raised his eyebrows still higher, "Not Penny. Amy…You _are_ angry at Amy aren't you?"

In his quest to discover whether or not Amy had a date with Stuart, Sheldon had completely forgotten about his anger.

He cleared his throat. "Of course I am."

"What about?"

"She took my Mr. Spock action figure."

"Why did she do that?"

Sheldon didn't have time for this. This was just as tedious as his conversation with Penny.

"And Penny didn't say anything else about Amy?"

"No."

Sheldon sighed and started walking back to his room, trying to think of another plan, when Leonard said, "Why don't you just go talk to Amy?"

Sheldon stopped in his tracks. He turned around to look at Leonard.

"What do you mean?"

"Just go talk to her. Tell her you like her and that you don't want her dating other men."

"What do you mean, tell her I like her?"

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Sheldon, come on. Why else would you be pacing around our living room like a mad man, wondering where Penny is so that you can ask her if Amy accepted Stuart's date proposal? Since when have you been interested in who dates who?"

Sheldon didn't feel very comfortable with this conversation. "I…don't like Amy Leonard. I just think that it is not a good idea for her to date someone like Stuart. He's a seller of comic books. Who knows what kind of person it takes to sell comic books. What if he takes advantage of her?"

Leonard gave Sheldon a look. "Uh huh. So it doesn't bother you that Amy might date someone, but you just don't want her to date Stuart in particular?"

Sheldon's right eye started twitching. "That's correct."

"So…it wouldn't bother you if, say, another scientist were to ask Amy out, and she started dating, and he became her boyfriend?"

Sheldon pressed his lips together again, and then answered reluctantly, "No…"

"Oh. Ok…so it wouldn't bother you to know that Amy is kissing someone else? Perhaps engaging in intercourse with someone else?"

"Unacceptable!"

Sheldon took a deep breath and then pressed his lips together tightly. He had not even begun to think of the fact that, should Amy like Stuart, they could end up kissing or engaging in intercourse. The thought was completely repellent.

He started pacing around the living room again. It was absolutely unacceptable for Amy to go on a date with Stuart.

"Leonard, take me to Amy's."

Without waiting for a response from Leonard, Sheldon grabbed his coat and messenger bag, and walked quickly down the stairs.

* * *

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

Amy opened the door, a perplexed look on her face. "Sheldon, what are you doing here?"

Sheldon realized, very belatedly, that he was still supposed to be upset. But he wasn't feeling upset…at least not about the Mr. Spock action figure…After all, it had happened twenty-three years ago. He could hardly hold Amy responsible for something which she had done twenty-three years ago…

Sheldon cleared his throat. "May I come in?"

"Yes. Of course." Amy moved out of the way to allow Sheldon to walk in. As he did so, he noticed the Mr. Spock action figure still on Amy's desk where he had left it. He walked over to it and picked it up.

Sheldon stared at the action figure for several moments, contemplating what he was going to say. What _was_ he going to say? That he didn't want Amy to go on a date with Stuart? Why? Even he had to wonder why he cared.

But as he had that thought, the memory of his conversation with Missy came to mind…as well as the many conversations he had had with Leonard, Penny, Raj, and Howard on the subject. He thought also of his only match on the dating website. He thought of the years worth of letters which he and Amy had exchanged. He thought of Counter Factuals.

Sheldon thought again of Amy dating Stuart, and gripped Mr. Spock so hard that the action figure's tiny hands started digging into his palms. Unacceptable!

Sheldon turned around to face Amy, finding her still standing by her door.

He cleared his throat. "Amy, I wish to apologize for my earlier behavior."

Amy blinked at him, looking stunned. "You do?"

Sheldon cleared his throat again. "Yes…"

Amy frowned. "Why?"

Sheldon cleared his throat a third time, and started looking around the room. "I believe it was unnecessary for me to blame you for something which you did when we were children…"

Amy didn't answer, causing Sheldon to look back at her. She was staring at him.

Sheldon shuffled, setting down the Mr. Spock and walking over towards the couch. He sat down for a few moments, before standing back up and pacing the room. He glanced at Amy, who was watching him wordlessly.

"Sheldon…why are you here?" Amy finally asked, still staring.

Sheldon stopped pacing, took a deep breath, and looked at Amy. "Don't go on a date with Stuart. Go on a date with me instead."

**A/N: I know...Mean writer. You all are probably tearing your hair out at another cliff hanger...Thank you kindly for reading though! Please review. :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

As the length of time between Sheldon's date request and Amy's lack of response lengthened, Sheldon began to regret his rash decision. He and Amy stood staring at each other for what felt like twenty minutes but which, after a quick glance at his watch, turned out to be more like twenty seconds. Why didn't she answer him?

Finally Amy opened her mouth to speak, but what she said wasn't what Sheldon was expecting to hear. "Sheldon, why are you asking me this?"

Sheldon blinked at Amy, surprised by her question. "Isn't it obvious? I'm requesting a date with you because I don't want you to go on a date with Stuart."

"And why don't you want me to go on a date with Stuart?"

Sheldon paused, contemplating his answer carefully. "…You never know what kind of a person it takes to run a comic book store. The man could be a scoundrel…I'm merely trying to spare you the potential emotional turmoil that comes with dating a scoundrel…"

Amy blinked at Sheldon, completely expressionless. "And that's your only reason?"

Sheldon looked around the room and cleared his throat. "Yes…"

"I see…So, just to make sure I'm clear, the only reason you want to take me on a date is because you don't want me to go with Stuart?"

Sheldon nodded once. "That is correct."

"Then my answer is no."

Sheldon blinked, stunned. "What do you mean, no?"

"I mean that, while I find your concern for my welfare touching, I have already agreed to go on a date with Stuart and your belief that he may be a scoundrel, when Penny has already spoken fondly of him to me, is not enough for me to break my word."

Sheldon's mouth popped open in shock.

"I would like, however, to say belatedly that I accept your apology regarding your anger, and would like to once again offer my apology for lying to you for so long about having taken the doll."

Sheldon looked down at the Mr. Spock in his hand and said, absentmindedly, "It's an action figure."

He was completely stunned. Why had Amy refused his request?

Suddenly not wishing to be in Amy's apartment any longer, Sheldon walked over to set the action figure once again on Amy's desk, and then walked quickly out the door.

* * *

When Sheldon and Leonard returned home, Sheldon immediately went to sit in his spot and think. Why had Amy refused his request?

Amy's refusal seemed to be in direct opposition to Missy's assertion that Amy liked Sheldon "as more than a friend". Sheldon snorted. Proof that he was in the right all along. How could he have ever doubted himself?

The idea that Amy was going to go on a date with Stuart, however, was still very bothersome. Why would Amy wish to go on a date with Stuart? They had nothing in common, whereas he, Sheldon, and Amy had many things in common. Why would Amy refuse to break off her date with Stuart? He had even taken the time to apologize for his anger, even if he _did_ have the right to be angry about Amy's lying. It defied logic…and that was exactly why he had spent his entire life avoiding such romantic endeavors.

Sheldon got up to get ready for bed. This day had been very exhausting, and Sheldon no longer wished to think about Amy and her confounded date with Stuart.

* * *

The next morning, while Sheldon was eating his breakfast and still pondering Amy's refusal, there was a knock at the door.

Sheldon walked over, answered the door, and was promptly slapped on the side of his head.

"Ow!" Sheldon rubbed the side of his head, and looked down to see Missy. "What on earth was that for?"

Missy poked him in the chest. "That's for be such an idiot."

Sheldon used his other hand to rub his chest. "Would you please stop physically accosting me?"

Missy crossed her arms. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"When you keep physically abusing me? I hardly think so."

Missy rolled her eyes, pushed Sheldon out of the way, and then walked through the door.

Sheldon heard Penny's door open, and looked across the hall.

"Hey Sheldon," Penny said. She was dressed in her Cheesecake factory outfit. "I thought I heard Missy's voice."

"You did."

"Why is she here so early?"

Before Sheldon could respond, Missy yelled, "To give him hell for being such an idiot!"

Penny raised her eyebrows, walking over, passing Sheldon, and heading into his apartment. "Hey Missy. What'd Sheldon do this time?"

Penny smirked at Sheldon, and then looked back at Missy, who snorted. "He asked Amy to forget her date with Stuart and go out with him instead."

Penny lightly hit Sheldon on the arm, smiling broadly at him. "That's great! Where are you two going?" Then Penny frowned and turned back to Missy. "Wait...you said he was an idiot…" Penny sighed. "What did he do?"

Missy rolled her eyes. "When she asked him why he was asking her out, he refused to admit that it was because he liked her. He told her it was because Stuart was a, and I quote, 'scoundrel'."

Penny turned around and slapped Sheldon hard on the arm.

"Ow! Could we please desist with the physical abuse? And I didn't say Stuart _was_ a scoundrel; I said he _might be_ one. I was merely trying to spare Amy the potential for heartbreak." He turned to Penny, rubbing his arm. "That hurt."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Sheldon, why didn't you just admit to Amy that you like her?"

"Because I don't!" Sheldon insisted. Why was it so difficult for everyone to see that he only wished to be Amy's friend? And besides, his attempt at getting Amy to agree to a romantic endeavor had failed, so obviously she felt the same way he did.

Missy walked over quickly, and pointed her finger at Sheldon. "You listen to me, Mister. You and Amy have been friends for years, and she likes you, and you like her. So you're going to go over there and just admit that you like her!"

"Why are you so upset, Missy? You never cared for Amy in the first place," Sheldon asked.

Missy put down her hand, and gave Sheldon a look. "I have gotten to know Amy…and as your sister, I can see that you care for her. I'm simply trying to get you to admit your feelings. You've never been good at that, and it hurts people Sheldon."

Sheldon blinked at Missy, surprised. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, that sometimes it's nice to hear someone tell you they like you."

"But Amy knows that I like her."

"She doesn't know that you like her like that."

"But I don't like her like that."

Missy narrowed her eyes. Penny cleared her throat. "Sweetie? It's pretty obvious to everyone that you care for Amy. Why don't you just admit it?"

Sheldon looked between the two of them, absentmindedly rubbing his chest where Missy had poked him. Without answering the question, Sheldon walked quickly to his room. He had to get to work. He didn't have time for this.

* * *

Despite Sheldon's wish to not think about Amy during work, it seemed that her date with Stuart was _all _he could think about. It was extremely frustrating.

One thing which had been puzzling him all day was Penny's insistence that 'everyone knew' that he liked Amy. How could everyone know something which wasn't true?

Or was it?

Purely for the sake of argument, Sheldon decided to give thought to the possibility that he _did_ like Amy and wish to enter into a romantic relationship with her.

Sheldon grabbed out a legal pad and wrote two words at the top: _Arguments_ _For_ and _Arguments Against_. Then he started writing.

Arguments For:

1. Capable of Intelligent, Intellectual conversation

2. Has PhD

3. Is a genius

4. Co-creator of Counter Factuals

5. Only person capable of playing Counter Factuals

6. Mutual enjoyment of Star Trek

7. Enjoy spending time with her

After thinking for another moment, Sheldon put down one last answer.

8. Pleasing appearance

Then Sheldon moved on to the next column.

Arguments Against:

1.

Sheldon tapped the pen against the pad, thinking. After several moments he sat back in his chair, still thinking. This was very curious. He could not think of a single reason why he shouldn't like Amy…

Suddenly Sheldon snapped his fingers and said, "Aha!" out loud, writing down "Prefers Neurobiology over Physics".

After several more minutes of contemplation, Sheldon looked down at his _Arguments Against_ list. He had only been able to add, "Stole Mr. Spock", and "Lied about stealing Mr. Spock" to the list, but had alternately added, "Stole Mr. Spock for reminder of friendship" to the _Arguments For_ list.

Looking between the two lists, Sheldon had to admit that the arguments for the possibility that Sheldon would do well in a romantic pair bonding with Amy were more overwhelming than the arguments against. Sheldon sat back in his chair once again as a thought occurred to him.

He liked Amy Farrah Fowler! As _more_ than a friend!

He shook his head, and leaned forward to check the list again. Surely he had left something out. And the list was hardly scientific…

But the more he looked at the items in the _Arguments Against_ column, the less he found they bothered him. And when looking at the _Arguments For_ column, he ultimately ended up adding, "More like me than any person I've ever met".

"That's it," he said aloud. "The evidence is in front of me. I like Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Glad to hear it."

Sheldon whipped his head around to see Leonard standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's 4:30. Time to go home."

"Why didn't you knock?"

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "I did."

Sheldon blinked at Leonard in surprise. How had he not heard Leonard's knock, a mere 3 feet from his head?

Sheldon quickly grabbed the legal pad and threw it in a desk drawer. He grabbed his messenger bag and walked quickly out the door.

Noticing that he didn't hear Leonard walking behind him, Sheldon turned around. Leonard was still standing in the doorway, looking at Sheldon in surprise.

"Why are you in such a hurry?"

"There is something I must do."

Leonard raised an eyebrow. "Does that something have to do with Amy?"

"Yes. Now can we please get going?"

Leonard smiled and then started walking.

* * *

As soon as Sheldon got home, he sat down at his desk, starting his lap top. He immediately opened up a Word document and began typing. Over the next several days he spent a great deal of his free time typing. The contents of the document were of the utmost importance, and Sheldon wished to cover any and all eventualities.

On the day of Amy's date with Stuart, Sheldon put the finishing touches on his document, and then printed it out. He used a three hole punch and then put the document in a folder. Sheldon had asked Amy if it was alright for him to come over the morning prior to her date with Stuart. Amy had seemed reluctant to agree, but had eventually said yes.

As Sheldon was preparing to leave, he noticed one of Missy's hair bands on his desk. During the time that Sheldon had been typing up his document, Missy had found other ways to entertain herself, one of which being "spend as much time with Raj as possible." Sheldon couldn't help but narrow his eyes every time he thought about his friend dating his sister. Once this ordeal with Amy was over, he was going to have a strong talking to with Raj.

* * *

Sheldon arrived at Amy's, document in hand, and knocked on the door.

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

Amy opened the door. "Hello, Sheldon. Please come in."

Amy moved out of the way so that Sheldon could step through. Once doing so, he felt a sensation in his stomach, similar to the one which he had felt just prior to Amy's arrival in Pasadena.

"Would you like a beverage?"

Sheldon shook his head. "No, thank you."

Amy shrugged her shoulders and walked over to sit on her couch. Sheldon followed, sitting on the very edge.

He cleared his throat. "Amy. I wish to revisit the issue of your date with Stuart."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "I thought we already established that I did not wish to go back on my word simply based on the fact that you suspect the possibility that Stuart may be a 'scoundrel'."

Sheldon looked away. "Yes. Well…about that…"

Sheldon took a deep breath. Once he said these words there was no going back. Was it really what he wanted? Perhaps his list had been wrong. Perhaps he should have corrected for personal bias. Then his conversation with Leonard about Stuart eventually kissing Amy, and/or engaging in intercourse with Amy, popped into Sheldon's head.

He narrowed his eyes and looked back at Amy, who was watching him with another blank expression.

"I don't want you to go on a date with Stuart because I…like…you."

Amy's eyes grew big. "I…what…do you mean?"

Sheldon cleared his throat. "I believe…I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship."

Amy blinked at him, mouth open. "Ok…"

Sheldon paused, feeling exposed. He detested making statements (or in this case, posing questions) which revealed the nature of his feelings. When Missy had walked in a couple of evenings ago, and had discovered what Sheldon was working on, she had coached him on what to say, despite his repeated attempts to let her know he did not need coaching.

Now however…he was feeling almost…grateful for Missy's help.

Sheldon took another deep breath, and cleared his throat. "Amy…will you be my girlfriend?"

Amy blinked at Sheldon for several long, and highly uncomfortable, moments.

"Yes."

Sheldon blinked in shock. She had said yes. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding, and sat up straighter.

"Excellent. Now that that is out of the way, I have a document I would like you to sign, to indemnify our relationship."

He held out the folder which Amy opened. She looked up.

"The Relationship Agreement?"

Sheldon nodded. "I believe I covered everything, but feel free to retain a lawyer before signing."

Amy looked through several pages. "I believe I will actually."

Sheldon blinked in surprise. "You will?"

Amy nodded. "Yes. A quick perusal of the document reveals several areas which I would like to negotiate prior to signing…As it is a Saturday, I will be unable to get a hold of a lawyer until Monday. When would you like to meet?"

Sheldon stared, in shock. What on earth could she wish to negotiate?

"Would Monday evening work?"

Sheldon nodded, mind whirling.

Amy smiled. "Excellent. Then I look forward to Monday evening. Now if you'll excuse me, I had best call Stuart to cancel our date."

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading. I have some bad news (for you, not so bad for me. :)). I need to take a break from this fic, which, interestingly, happens to coincide with my Father calling me to say that he's coming to visit this Saturday for 10 days. (Yeah...that's right. He gave me a 5 day warning. lol) My initial thought was to take a break for a week...which is right when Dad'll be here. So needless to say, it COULD be a bit before my next update. :( But honestly, at this point, my taking some time off can only mean good things for this fic. :) Please don't forget to review. Thanks! :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Yay! My dad slept in late today, so guess who had time to write? :) Thank you for your patience. The week off kind of felt like a vacation. I've been updating every 3 days on average since Valentine's Day so my creativity was running on empty. But not anymore! Just a warning, it could possibly be another week before I update again. But hopefully the long chapter helps. :)**

**Chapter 22**

Missy and Sheldon stood by the curb at the airport, watching as Raj unloaded Missy's suitcase from his trunk. When he finally managed to get it out, Raj wheeled it over to Missy, and then gave her a sad look.

Missy stuck out her bottom lip in a pout (Sheldon rolled his eyes) and said, "Aw, Raj, I'm sad to be leaving you too." She smiled coyly. "But I sure had a nice time."

Raj smiled and wiggled his eyebrows, causing Sheldon to do a double take and ask, "Just what did you two do that was so nice?"

Missy smiled sweetly at Sheldon. "That's between me and Raj." She winked at Raj, who winked back at her in response.

Sheldon frowned at Raj, who merely shrugged, and then crossed his arms on his chest. Missy turned towards Sheldon and lightly swatted him on his arm.

"Oh now don't you be jealous. I'm sad to be leaving you too."

Sheldon scoffed. "I'm not jealous. I'm relieved you're leaving…I just don't like you canoodling my friend."

Missy snorted. "Canoodling? Shelly…who I choose to 'canoodle' or not 'canoodle' with is none of your business." She turned back to Raj, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "You've got my number right?" Raj nodded, smiling.

Missy turned back to Sheldon, who still had his arms crossed. "Shelly, I had best get going." Sheldon looked at her, but said nothing. "It's been nice getting to visit. I'll miss you and all your frustrating and crazy ways."

Sheldon cleared his throat, uncrossed his arms, and said, "I will not miss your interference in my life…" Missy frowned. "…but I suppose I did not find the presence of family in Pasadena abhorrent either…"

Missy smiled at him. "I knew you enjoyed having me here."

"That's not what I said."

"But that's what you meant."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No."

"Yes. You liked having me here."

"Did not! Take that back!" Sheldon crossed his arms again.

Missy smiled, shook her head, and then wrapped her arms around Sheldon, whispering in his ear, "It's ok to admit you like having me here."

When she let go, Sheldon merely scoffed at her. "You…you're…you're wrong. I don't. In fact, I can't wait for you to leave."

Missy shrugged. "At least I got you to admit you like Amy."

"You had nothing to do with that!"

"Whatever you say, Shelly."

And with that, Missy hugged Raj, grabbed her bag, said "Bye!", and walked toward her gate.

As they got back into Raj's car, Sheldon said, "You're not dating my sister."

"Whatever dude."

* * *

_Knock Knock Knock "_Amy."

_Knock Knock Knock "_Amy."

_Knock Knock Knock "_Amy."

Sheldon waited for Amy to answer the door, mentally preparing his arguments in defense of his Relationship Agreement.

But the person who answered the door wasn't Amy.

"Who are you? And where is Amy Farrah Fowler?"

The woman extended her hand. "Garene Chopsteeks, Attorney at Law. I will be representing Dr. Fowler in today's negotiations."

Sheldon looked around Ms. Chopsteeks to see Amy sitting at her table. "Amy? Why is this woman answering your door?"

Ms. Chopsteeks held up a hand. "Please refrain from speaking directly with Dr. Fowler. I have advised her that it would be best to avoid direct contact until after all negotiations are complete."

Sheldon blinked at the attorney. "I beg your pardon?"

Ms. Chopsteeks stood aside and gestured for Sheldon to enter. "Would you like something to drink? I believe the options are water, Yoo-Hoo, or Strawberry Quik."

Sheldon stared at the attorney. "…Water, please."

"Very well. Please have a seat opposite Dr. Fowler, and I will bring you your drink. Then we can get started."

Sheldon sat down, noticing a pair of headphones. "What are these?"

Ms. Chopsteeks looked over from the kitchen. "Those are noise cancelling headphones, with a radio built in. Dr. Fowler informed me of your superior hearing skills, so we decided it would be best for you to wear these during the duration of the negotiations. I can communicate with you through the radio, but you will be unable to hear Amy when she is discussing the negotiations with me."

Sheldon looked over at Amy. "Is this really necessary?"

"Dr. Cooper, please remember to speak only to me."

Sheldon looked over at the attorney. "But this is absurd. Amy is perfectly capable of negotiating with me herself. I'm sure we don't need you, Ms. Chopsteeks."

The attorney walked over and handed Sheldon his water. "Please feel free to call me Garene, Dr. Cooper. And as Amy feels it necessary to have me here, I will remain. Shall we proceed? Please put on the headphones."

Sheldon reluctantly put on the headphones, which did indeed block out most noise.

Garene picked up a walkie talkie and handed Sheldon a copy of the Relationship Agreement.

"Shall we get started?" he heard in his ear. Sheldon nodded.

"Excellent. We shall start with Section One and work our way through."

Sheldon nodded again. He looked over at Amy who had her hands clasped in front of her, with a small smile on her face.

"Section One, Date Night." Sheldon looked down at the page in front of him. "My client would like to open with an offer to increase Date Night to every Thursday night, rather than a mere once per month."

Sheldon scoffed. "That seems a little excessive. I hardly think we need a date night every week."

Garene held the walkie back up to her mouth. "My client feels differently. She believes that a once weekly date will ensure the relationship never grow stale."

Sheldon sighed. He failed to see how increasing date nights would have any bearing on the "freshness" of their relationship. He thought for a moment.

"I have a counter proposal then. Date night will be every second and fourth Thursday, or the third and fifth, in a month with five Thursdays."

Garene turned to Amy, holding up a piece of paper so that Sheldon couldn't read their lips. After roughly forty-five seconds she turned back. "My client is willing to agree to those terms," Sheldon smiled, "so long as you agree that she shall be able to dictate the plans for date nights."

Sheldon frowned. "Unacceptable."

"Then my client returns to her previous proposal of a date night every Thursday."

Sheldon thought for a moment, then held up his index finger. "I would like to counter with the aforementioned twice monthly date night, with the addition that on the second, or third, Thursday Amy shall be allowed to choose the activity, and on the fourth, or fifth, Thursday I shall be allowed to choose."

Amy looked over at Garene and nodded.

"My client agrees."

Amy leaned over to say something to Garene. Sheldon detested wearing noise cancelling headphones. It was completely unnecessary and put him at a complete disadvantage.

Garene turned back to Sheldon, holding the walkie to her mouth. "Per my client's request, I would now I would like to draw your attention to section eight."

Sheldon frowned. "But I thought we were going in order."

"Dr. Fowler wished to save some of those sections for later in the negotiations."

Sheldon looked at Amy, who shrugged, and then sighed. "Very well." He gestured to Garene. "Continue."

"Dr. Fowler would like to make her objections clear on this section, entitled _Booboos and Ouchies_."

Sheldon frowned, confused. "What does she object to?"

"My client and I have both noticed a lack of specificity in the phrasing. She tells me that this is a common problem among legal documents you have drafted in the past."

"A common problem?" Sheldon scoffed. "Just what other documents is she referring to?"

"I believe she mentioned several items in a document called the Roommate Agreement."

"Amy has never read the Roommate Agreement. Her assumption is merely speculative."

"Amy gave me several letters of correspondence between she and yourself regarding arguments you have had with your roommate as a result of the lack of specificity in the Roommate Agreement."

Sheldon's mouth hung open. "I object to having my personal letters used against me."

Garene nodded once. "Very well, then. Shall we return to the document at hand?" Garene took a pencil and pointed to the section on Sheldon's copy. "The wording in this document does not specify what constitutes a 'booboo' or 'ouchie'."

"I would think that the definition would be clear. It is any and all injuries up to and including those necessitating a trip to Urgent Care."

Amy leaned over and spoke in Garene's ear. Garene held up the sheet of paper again, speaking with Amy for several minutes, while Sheldon was left to stare around the room in complete silence, thinking of how much he hated these negotiations.

Just as Sheldon was starting to wonder if they were doomed to an entire night of stagnant negotiations, he heard Garene in his ear.

"My client would like to propose that the booboos and ouchies will only include injuries in which there is shedding of blood, any broken bone or cartilage, or any other injury which requires a trip to Urgent Care or a medical doctor."

Sheldon considered the proposition for a moment. There were many other types of injuries that were left out. Splinters for instance. And what about being ill?

Sheldon cleared his throat. "I will agree, if your client will agree to consider adding a subsection regarding illnesses such as colds or flus."

Garene looked at Amy, who nodded and said something. "My client is amenable to hearing what you would propose for such a section."

Sheldon, holding up his index finger, began counting off his ideas. "A, all necessary medications for the treatment of the illness shall be procured by the healthy party. B, the healthy party shall be required to call or text every four hours during the day to ask about the welfare of the ill party. And C, a once per day visit shall be required in which soup, specifically Chicken with Little Stars, and hot tea are to be provided. All three sections shall be required of the healthy party until the ill party has recovered."

Garene held up her sheet of paper and presumably conversed with Amy for several minutes. When she again spoke through the walkie, it was to say, "My client is willing to agree so long as it is understood that the clause applies to both the boyfriend and girlfriend in a time of illness."

Sheldon nodded. "Agreed."

Garene nodded and wrote for several minutes.

Amy smiled and waved at Sheldon. He sighed and waved in return.

When she was finished writing, Garene shuffled through the pages and put the walkie back up to her mouth.

"We would not like to draw your attention to section fifteen."

Sheldon shuffled through until he found section fifteen. It read:

_Section Fifteen: Family_

_1. The only allowable contact for the family members of the opposite party shall be when said family members are in Pasadena._

_2. When a family member does come to visit, said family member may not stay at the home of the non-family member._

_3. There will be no outside exchanges of phone calls, emails, or any other contact with the family members of the opposite party_

_4. There will be no attempts made to meet family members. Only unavoidable instances are acceptable._

_5. There must be a one hundred and sixty-eight hour advance written notice of a family obligation._

Sheldon looked up. "Surely there is nothing unacceptable in this section."

Garene held the walkie up to her mouth. "My client would like to strike the first four points and will only agree to point number five if the one hundred and sixty-eight hour notice is changed to forty-eight hours. In addition, she would like to add a clause stating that all family obligations shall be considered mandatory attendance."

Sheldon blinked in shock. "Unacceptable."

"The terms are non-negotiable."

Sheldon looked at Amy, who had a wrinkle on her forehead and was looking worried. "Amy, you can't be serious."

"Please refrain from speaking directly to Dr. Fowler, Dr. Cooper."

"But this is absurd. What about illness? Are we to attend a family gathering with the flu?"

Garene held up the piece of paper again for approximately twenty seconds. "Dr. Fowler will concede that any illness which includes a fever or hospitalization shall be considered a valid reason for not attending family gatherings. All other points remain non-negotiable."

Sheldon folded his arms and sat back. "I refuse to concede."

Garene looked over at Amy and then back at Sheldon. "I see. In that case, these proceedings are complete and the relationship shall be considered void."

Sheldon unfolded his arms. "What? What do you mean the relationship shall be considered void?" He looked back and forth between Amy, who was not looking happy, and Garene.

Garene set down the papers she had been gathering and picked up the walkie. "Both parties state they will not negotiate, therefore we have reached an impasse. If neither party wishes to give, then we cannot move forward."

"But that is completely unreasonable. Amy is being very inflexible."

"Actually, Dr. Cooper, it is you who is being inflexible. Dr. Fowler agreed to add the exception regarding illness, but you refuse to acknowledge any of her demands. She informed me that, of late, she has formed a bond with your sister and she does not wish to terminate any future correspondence or friendship which may result."

Sheldon crossed his arms. "I don't want her to be friends with my sister."

"Then we are agreed that the relationship is now terminated?"

Sheldon sat up straighter, frowning. "Absolutely not."

"Dr. Cooper, unless we can agree on these terms, then the relationship is void. I'm afraid you will have to come to a decision. Either you can agree to strike items one through four, or you can agree to terminate the relationship."

Sheldon looked over at Amy again, who gave him a sympathetic look and shrugged her shoulders. This was ridiculous. This entire situation was completely unnecessary. He should never have suggested that Amy retain a lawyer.

He glared over at Garene. "Fine. We can strike items one through four." This was a nightmare. It was bad enough that Amy had seemed to develop a fast friendship with Penny, but now she would have Missy filling her head with who knows what nonsense.

Garene nodded and began striking through the wording on the document.

Sheldon looked over at Amy. "For the record, I am very unhappy."

Garene looked up. "Dr. Cooper, you have already been warned multiple times not to speak directly to Dr. Fowler. If you continue to resist following the rules, then this session will be concluded and the relationship will be considered void."

Sheldon's mouth fell open. "But…"

Garene raised her eyebrows. "Are we clear?"

Sheldon narrowed his eyes again. "_Yes._"

"In that case, we shall move on to Section Five, Handholding?"

Sheldon shuffled the papers to get back to section five.

"Dr. Fowler objects to the current list of acceptable times for hand holding."

Sheldon sat up straighter and narrowed his eyes again. "Dr. Fowler, having known me for quite some time, was already previously aware of my aversion to physical contact. It can hardly come as a surprise to her that I do not wish to worry about her always touching me."

Garene held up the piece of paper to speak to Amy again. After approximately forty-five seconds, she put down the paper and said, "Dr. Fowler would like to add an additional statement which would allow her to hold your hand on occasion."

Sheldon thought for a moment, then nodded his head once. "Very well. I will agree to add a statement allowing for hand holding in the presence of Stuart Bloom." He would simply never take Amy to the comic book store.

Amy leaned over to speak with Garene. Sheldon again cursed these ridiculous noise cancelling headphones.

"Dr. Fowler agrees, but would like to add Beverly Hofstadter, Ramona Nowitzski, and Martha."

"Why on earth would she wish to add those three to the list?"

"Dr. Fowler states that those three women have at one point or another made it clear that they found you attractive and/or wished to become intimate."

Sheldon looked at Amy incredulously. "And how on earth did Dr. Fowler come to those conclusions? I do not believe we ever corresponded about Ms Nowitzski or this 'Martha'. And might I add, we do not even know Martha's last name, and, since Dr. Fowler is so concerned with specificity, are we to then assume that any woman with the name Martha shall constitute the right to hold hands?"

Amy leaned over to speak in Garene's ear.

"My client states that your neighbor known as 'Penny' shared the particulars of each encounter with her, and she agrees to your terms of holding hands in the presence of any woman named Martha."

Sheldon inhaled sharply. "I did not propose those terms! I was making what should have obviously been seen as a sarcastic remark!"

"Nevertheless, those are the terms that Dr. Fowler agrees to."

Sheldon gave Garene another incredulous look. So he was now to be subjected to hand holding any time he and Amy were in the presence of anyone named Martha? That was completely ridiculous. For all he knew, Amy would seek out women named Martha just to have the right to hold his hand.

Sheldon pressed his lips together. "I do not like the idea that Amy may be free to grab my hand without any warning."

Garene opened her mouth to speak, but Amy tapped her on the shoulder. Garene again put up the paper barrier and spoke at length with Amy. Sheldon, in the meantime, sat back and crossed his arms, fuming to himself.

When Garene put down the paper, she turned to Sheldon and said, "My client would like to propose entirely new terms for section five. Under the terms, all physical contact shall be open…" Sheldon opened his mouth to protest, but Garene held up a hand. "…provided that a seventy-two hour written notice of impending physical contact is given."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "I will counter with a ninety-six hour written notice of negotiations for physical contact, which will take place a minimum of seventy-two hours in advance of the proposed physical contact."

Garene held the paper barrier up again, but this time only for fifteen seconds. "Dr. Fowler would like to counter your offer with the following: a seventy-two hour written notice of negotiations will be given, but upon completion of negotiations the physical act must be performed and will be considered viable in all future encounters without the need of notice or negotiation."

Sheldon thought for a moment. If they were going to negotiate, then that left Sheldon the freedom to flat refuse. He nodded his head once. "I agree." Amy smiled at him.

Garene nodded and wrote on the paper. After she finished, she gathered the papers up. "If we have completed those negotiations then the only further item is my client's desire to strike the entire rest of the document and replace it with the following statement: all other issues/inquiries/problems shall be resolved on a case by case basis by communication between both parties."

Sheldon's mouth dropped open. "I beg your pardon? But how will I know whether or not Amy has had the tire pressure on her car checked? Or that we have both received the proper amount of vaccinations?"

"That would be a case in which you would need to simply communicate your wishes to Dr. Fowler."

Sheldon was growing very wary of these negotiations…and he detested this Garene Chopsteeks. It was _her_ interference which had undoubtedly caused Amy to make such unreasonable demands. And no doubt, if he refused this latest demand, then the negotiations would stall again, and Garene would simply state the relationship was void again.

Sheldon hunched his shoulders in defeat. "Fine. I agree."

"Excellent." Garene put all of the papers into her briefcase, and spoke into the walkie. "If that is all, then you may take off the headphones Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon removed the headphones. "Those were completely unnecessary by the way."

"Regardless, they served their purpose."

"Which was?"

"To keep you from overhearing Dr. Fowler's demands ahead of time. Now, if we're done, I really must be going. We shall meet here tomorrow at the same time in order to sign the completed document."

Sheldon sighed. "Very well."

Garene held out her hand. "In that case, it was very nice meeting you Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon glared at Garene's hand and then crossed his arms. "The feeling is most assuredly not mutual."

Garene shrugged and then shook Amy's hand. "I shall see you tomorrow then."

After Amy shut the door behind Garene, she looked at Sheldon and smiled. "That went well, don't you think?"

**A/N: Shout out to greenchopstix, a.k.a Garene Chopsteeks, for being the first to review about 80% of the time. :) Apparently she's a hardass (and I'm REALLY hoping "she" is a "she"...otherwise my shout out might be an insult. lol). Anywho, thanks a million for reading! Please review. :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Yay, I'm back! Thanks for the lovely, lovely reviews. Please enjoy. :)**

**Chapter 23**

Sheldon looked carefully through the document in front of him, wondering how Amy had managed to turn his thirty-one page Relationship Agreement into one page.

_**The Relationship Agreement**_

_Section 1: Date Night_

_A. Date nights shall be on the second and fourth Thursdays of the month_

_B. In the event that a month has five Thursdays, Date Night shall be moved to the third and fifth Thursdays of the month._

_C. Amy Farrah Fowler, hereafter called "The Girlfriend", shall determine all activities on the second, or third, Thursday._

_D. Sheldon Cooper, hereafter called "The Boyfriend", shall determine all activities on the fourth, or fifth, Thursday._

_Section 2: Booboos and Ouchies_

_A. A "booboo" or "ouchie" shall be defined as any injury resulting in the shedding of blood and/or broken bones/cartilage._

_B. It shall be the responsibility of the uninjured party to either administer the appropriate first aide to, and/or drive the injured party to Urgent Care._

_C. Regarding instances of either party having a cold or influenza:_

_~~~ i._ _All necessary medications for the treatment of the illness shall be procured by the healthy party._

_~~~ ii. the healthy party shall be required to call or text every four hours during the day to ask after the welfare of the ill party. _

_~~~ iii. A once per day visit shall be required of the healthy party in which soup, specifically Chicken with Little Stars, and hot herbal tea are to be provided. _

_~~~ iv. All three of the above sections shall be required of the healthy party until the ill party has made a full recovery._

_Section 3: Family_

_A. In the case of a family obligation, the Boyfriend/Girlfriend must provide written notice a minimum of forty-eight hours in advance._

_B. All family obligations are considered mandatory._

_C. The only exception which will allow the Boyfriend/Girlfriend to forgo attending a family obligation is in the case of illness with either fever or hospitalization._

_Section 4: Physical Contact_

_A. All forms of physical contact are off the table until such time as they have been negotiated and approved by both parties._

_B. At such a time that the Boyfriend/Girlfriend wishes to negotiate physical contact, a written notice of negotiation must be provided a minimum of seventy-two hours in advance. (See Appendix A)_

_C. An act of physical contact must be completed immediately following the completion of negotiations._

_D. All forms of physical contact which have been negotiated and completed are considered viable in future encounters and do not have to be negotiated again._

_Section 5: Other_

_A. All other problems or inquiries shall be resolved on a case by case basis by discussion and/or negotiation between both parties. _

_The below signatures signify that both the Boyfriend and the Girlfriend are in agreement with this document and shall be held responsible for upholding the above rights and responsibilities until such time as either party wishes to terminate the relationship. A notice of termination shall be provided if such a time arises. (See Appendix B.)_

Sheldon sighed, reluctantly initialed every section, and then signed at the bottom. As he put the pen down, he looked at Amy. She smiled at him, and he, finding himself relieved to have the particulars of their relationship settled (even if the particulars _did_ seem to favor Amy), found himself smiling at her in return.

Garene picked up the agreement, put it in her briefcase, and held her hand out for both Amy and Sheldon to shake. "I shall scan and email the document to the both of you, for your records, as soon as I return to my office in the morning. Thank you very much for your time. Mazel Tov."

Sheldon looked at Garene incredulously. "That sentiment does not make cultural sense, given that neither Amy nor I are of Jewish descent, nor does either of us observe the laws and religious practices associated with Judaism."

Garene shrugged and then patted Amy on the shoulder, saying, "Good luck."

After Amy closed the door behind Garene, she turned around and smiled. "Well, it would seem that you are now officially my boyfriend."

Sheldon nodded once. "So it would seem."

Amy held up a hand, saying "Before I forget…", and walked over to her desk.

"I took the liberty of writing this up. I believe our first date night is a week from Thursday. I did not wish to wait until the minimum of three days prior to give this to you, lest I forget."

Amy handed Sheldon a piece of paper. He took it, and glanced down, blinking in surprise when he read: _This is to inform Sheldon Lee Cooper that his girlfriend, Amy Farrah Fowler, will be opening negotiations regarding physical contact on the evening of their first date. These negotiations will take place at the end of the date. Please prepare accordingly._

Sheldon looked up, unsure how to respond. "…I don't know how to respond to this."

Amy shrugged her shoulders. "The entire purpose of the written notice is so that you don't have to respond immediately, but that you have adequate time to prepare your remarks…and in this particular case you have an entire nine days to think of your response, rather than three."

Sheldon blinked at Amy. "May I at least know which physical contact you are hoping to initiate?"

Amy cocked her head to the side, apparently thinking, and then looked at him. "No."

Sheldon frowned. "But how am I to adequately prepare my remarks if I don't know what I'm going to be up against?"

Amy shrugged again. "You have nine days. I'm sure that will give you plenty of time to prepare for any and all possibilities."

Amy smiled at him in a way which caused Sheldon to narrow his eyes suspiciously. She was a vixen, this one. How had he known Amy for so long without realizing this?

* * *

Sheldon held the door of the coffee shop open for Amy, like his cotillion training had taught him was appropriate.

Amy walked through, looking around. She turned to Sheldon, "An interesting choice for our first date."

Sheldon shrugged. "I know that both you and I like tea, and a coffee shop is a perfectly acceptable place to procure tea. As our date started at 5:00 p.m., but our movie does not start until 6:30 p.m., we needed a place to quote, unquote, hang out during the interim."

Amy cocked her head to the side. "Why not just start the date at 5:30, thus negating the need to fill the interim time?"

Sheldon shrugged again. "I felt like tea." He gestured for Amy to get in line ahead of him.

When they reached the head of the line, the barista asked, "What will you be having?"

"Hmm…" Amy read the menu above the barista's head. "I believe I'll have a hot green tea please."

"And for you, sir?"

Sheldon thought for a moment. "I'll have a chai tea, but not the latte. And can you please make sure that the water is at least one hundred and sixty degrees?"

The barista stared at Sheldon for a moment, before putting on a fake smile and saying, "Absolutely."

Amy started to reach for her purse, causing Sheldon to say, "Excuse me. Social protocol dictates that, as we are on a date, I am to pay for any and all beverages, movies, and/or meals and snacks."

Amy frowned, looking confused. "But if we are to go on a date night twice per month, then that could become very expensive for you."

Sheldon frowned at Amy's logic. He had not thought of that.

Amy smiled at him. "I believe this is the time for section five of our Relationship Agreement. I am opening negotiations regarding who is to pay for date nights. What are your opening statements?"

The barista cleared his throat. "Excuse me, but there are several other people-"

Sheldon held up a finger. "A moment." He turned back to Amy. "I believe it is my duty as the male in the relationship to provide for the female, in this case, you. This has been the social protocol throughout the entire course of history. In addition, my cotillion teacher would be, to use the colloquialism, rolling in her grave if she knew that one of her students was allowing his female companion to pay for his dinner, or in this case, tea."

Amy thought for a moment. "Interesting. But as previously mentioned, if you are to pay for any and all activities and/or food on every date, then you could potentially find yourself in a financial crisis. And there is also the matter of the feminist revolution which took place over forty years ago, essentially negating your cotillion training."

The barista again tried to interject. "I really need one of you to pay-"

Sheldon looked over. "If you keep rudely interrupting us, then we will never be able to complete our negotiations." He turned back to Amy. "While I do not begrudge you and all women the right to pay for your own dates, I find myself uncomfortable with the idea."

Amy tapped her chin with her finger. "Hmm…we seem to be at an impasse…"

Sheldon was looking around, trying to think of a solution, when the woman behind he and Amy spoke up. "What if you guys take turns paying?"

Sheldon and Amy looked first at the woman, and then at each other.

"That idea could work…" said Amy. Then she gasped and held up her index finger. "I've got it. What it we agree that the person whose turn it is to determine the activities for the date night also be financially responsible for all expenses incurred over the course of said date night."

Sheldon nodded, impressed. "I believe I can live with that idea." He turned to the woman standing behind them. "Thank you, madam, for your help." The woman smiled and nodded once in return.

Now that that was settled, Sheldon turned back around and proceeded to give cash to the now perplexed looking barista.

As they waited for their order to be prepared, Amy turned to Sheldon and said, "I have to admit that at first I was unsure how I would feel about the Relationship Agreement, but it appears to have already come in handy."

Sheldon nodded. "Naturally. I always find mutual indemnification simplifies a relationship."

Amy smiled. "And I find that romantic."

After they had grabbed their respective beverages, they made their way to a table to sit down, Sheldon holding out a chair for a surprised Amy. As Sheldon was sitting down in his seat, a man walked past their table and spoke to a woman a few feet away.

"Hello. I am Arman Carpachio and you are May Fallulah Franco."

"Hello," said the woman named May. She held up a hand. "I should warn you that I only agreed to this date because I am being blackmailed by the threat of dirty panty hose hidden in my home."

The man named Arman frowned. "If that is slang, I am unfamiliar with it. But I share your aversion to soiled hosiery."

May held up her hand again. "I would like to take this time to announce that all physical contact up to, and including, coitus is off the table."

Arman paused for a beat before gesturing towards the barista and saying to May, "May I buy you a beverage?"

May nodded. "Tepid water please."

Sheldon and Amy watched the pair walk up to the counter, and then looked back at each other.

Amy sighed. "I should have asked for tepid water. To be honest, that sounds more appealing than my green tea at the moment."

Sheldon looked thoughtful. "I'm not one for guessing, especially in cases where I have so little empirical evidence, but I believe those two will do well together."

Amy nodded. "As do I."

Sheldon and Amy sipped their tea in silence for several minutes, until Sheldon decided to bring up a subject which had been bothering him.

"Amy, may I receive your word that, when I ask the following question, you will answer truthfully and completely?"

Amy raised her eyebrows, blinking at Sheldon for several moments before saying, "Alright. You have it."

"What was the purpose of your supposed experiment the day we decided to embark upon our relationship restore? And, more to the point, what were the results?"

Amy blinked at Sheldon for several moments before saying, "I believe I stated at the time that the purpose of the experiment was to gauge the potential for romantic pair bonding between the two of us."

Sheldon waited for Amy to continue, watching her as she moved her finger around the lid of her drink.

After several moments, in which Sheldon decided Amy was not going to continue speaking, he again said, "And what were your results?"

Amy continued to move her finger around the lid of her drink for several more moments. Just as Sheldon was preparing to speak again, Amy looked up, clasped her hands in front of her, and cleared her throat. "The results were that we would do well in a romantic pair bonding situation."

Sheldon cocked his head to the side. "Interesting…and what evidence led you to that conclusion?"

"You are familiar with the physiological signs of attraction I assume?"

Sheldon nodded. "Of course. Increased heart rate, increased respiratory rate, dilation of the pupils…"

Amy cleared her throat again. "I am unable to tell whether or not my pupils were dilated, but I did notice that _your_ pupils were dilated-"

Sheldon held up a hand. "Hang on a minute. I object."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "To what?"

"I believe my pupils were dilated due to surprise, not attraction. I was shocked when you kissed me…and hung over. I believe those are more likely the reasons for my pupils dilating."

"Interesting," said Amy. "Do I take that to mean that you _aren't_ attracted to me?"

Sheldon blinked in shock. He had not the foggiest idea how to answer that question. In truth, he had given the matter very little thought. Amy was, and always had been, Amy.

He cleared his throat. "Nevermind. You were saying?"

Amy cocked her head to the side. "No…I don't believe I will allow you to change the subject."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "You what? What do you mean you won't 'allow' me to change the subject? I've already changed it. Now finish your thought."

Amy sat up straighter. "Not until you answer the question I posed to you. I believe it is a critical question which can, and will, determine the ultimate success or failure of our relationship. Do you, or do you not, find me attractive?"

Sheldon folded his arms. "I refuse to answer the question."

Amy also folded her arms, staring blankly at Sheldon.

They sat staring at each other silently for several minutes, Sheldon trying to use the Force to get Amy to yield.

After several more minutes Amy held up her index finger. "I am not yielding my original question, but now I have a second question to pose to you, which may help make clear the answer to the first question."

Sheldon nodded once. "Proceed…so long as you understand that I may, and likely will, choose to ignore your second question as well."

"Very well. Have you ever found yourself physically attracted to a female before?"

Sheldon cocked his head to the side again, thinking. "No."

"Interesting…And if I may ask, to your mind, what _do_ you find attractive in a potential mate?"

Sheldon tapped his index finger on his lips, thinking. "As I am likely the first in a new species of human, a Homo Novus, if you will, I believe it is the mind of a woman which has the greatest capacity to attract me…that is, if we're running under the assumption that, in the paradigm you proposed, I actually wish to engage in a physical relationship in order to procreate and further my new species." He paused, still thinking. "Yes. That makes the most sense to me. I would like to ensure that my new genetic material is not fighting to stay alive against the subpar genetic material of a person with a lesser intelligence." He looked at Amy directly. "I believe I would find intelligence attractive."

Amy nodded slowly. "I see. And, if I may, how do you find my intelligence?"

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "I believe you already know the answer to that question. If we are excluding myself, of course, then you are the most intelligent person I know."

Amy nodded again. "Ok…so, let us examine the evidence. A, you believe that intelligence is the most attractive feature in a potential mate."

Sheldon nodded. "Correct."

"And, B, you believe I am the most intelligent person you know, excluding yourself."

"Also correct."

"And, C, I am a female."

"You would know that better than I, but I assume you are correct in that respect as well."

Amy folded her hands again. "Then I believe the answer to my original statement has been answered."

Sheldon frowned. "I fail to see how."

Amy looked Sheldon square in the eye. "You do find me attractive."

"What?" Sheldon was perplexed, and began furiously thinking through their conversation. Was it possible? But how could he be attracted to Amy Farrah Fowler without his even realizing it?

The longer he thought, however, the more he began to realize that Amy was correct. The facts didn't lie. Sheldon sat up straighter and looked back at Amy. "You're right. The evidence does suggest that I am attracted to you…my apologies for denying it."

Amy nodded, smiling. "You're forgiven."

Sheldon frowned, not liking this new information. "Now back to the original query. Aside from _my_ pupils dilating, what other data did you discover?"

"Ah, yes. Well, as I said, I could not attest to whether or not my pupils dilated, but I can assure you that my heart rate and respiratory rate increased."

Sheldon nodded. "All indications that you are attracted to me."

Amy nodded as well. "Indeed. Therefore the results of my impromptu experiment were that we would be well suited in a romantic relationship."

Sheldon frowned. "Then why agree to the relationship restore?"

"While I did notice your pupil dilation, you had indicated that you did not wish to enter into a romantic relationship when you instructed me not to read into your kiss the prior night. Therefore, when given the option to either terminate our relationship entirely, or remain boy slash friend slash girl slash friend, I chose the latter…and might I add, it was a wise decision, and one which I did not have to suffer through for very long."

Sheldon frowned again, confused. "What do you mean?"

Amy raised her eyebrows. "It was less than a week before you asked me to be your official girlfriend…without the slash."

Sheldon cocked his head to the side. He had not realized that their supposed relationship restore had lasted for such a short period of time. "It would seem our restore was unsuccessful."

Amy smiled. "Yes. But I believe I prefer the failure to the success."

Sheldon stared for a moment as an unexpected thought occurred to him. "So do I."

Amy's smile broadened, causing Sheldon to smile at her in return. He did enjoy Amy's smile…

He looked at his watch. "It would appear that the interim time prior to our movie has passed. If we do not wish to forego proper seating in the theater, we had best get going.

Amy took one last sip of her tea, nodded, and then stood up. As they walked out the door, Sheldon couldn't help but think of their conversation, and wonder again how he had not known he was attracted to Amy…

* * *

After their movie, Amy drove Sheldon home. During the drive there was a rather heated debate on the merits and detractions of the movie. Sheldon found the conversation simply inspiring.

As a result, Sheldon found himself feeling as if he had been doused in cold water when Amy turned off her car, now parked outside his apartment, turned to him, and said, "Shall we begin the negotiations for physical contact?"

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I included the condensed Relationship Agreement, just so that there was no confusion. :) Also, they fancified the review process, so go ahead and give it a whirl. And, because I dislike that they put this on default, keep in mind that the "story alert" and "author alert" sections are automatically checked...not that I wouldn't love for you to follow me and this story, but I also want it to be because YOU want to. :) Anywho, Thanks a million! :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews! Sorry this took so long...writer's block. Bleck.**

**Chapter 24**

Sheldon blinked at Amy for a moment. He had been having such a pleasant evening that he had nearly forgotten about the physical contact negotiations that were to come at the end of their date.

_Come on, Cooper_, Sheldon told himself, _you knew this was coming. You've prepared. You can do this._

Sheldon cleared his throat and sat up straighter. "Very well." He gestured towards Amy. "Proceed."

Amy nodded, turning in her seat slightly, and then also clearing her throat. "Would you like to make any opening remarks?"

Sheldon looked away, thinking. Perhaps he could mentally intimidate Amy in order to give himself the upper hand in these negotiations. He smirked. Who was he kidding? He was Sheldon Cooper. Of course he could mentally intimidate Amy.

Sheldon looked back at Amy, still smirking. "I have only one thing to say. You may have a PhD in Neurobiology, but I'm a Junior Member of Starfleet Academy. As they said in that horrendous cheerleading movie Penny forced Leonard and I to watch, 'Bring it on.'"

Amy raised her eyebrows, looking shocked. Sheldon's smirk grew bigger as he realized that Amy suddenly looked unsure of herself. _Score one for Sheldon Cooper. _

But Sheldon's smirk disappeared as Amy suddenly sat up straight, looked him square in the eye, and raised an eyebrow. "Very Well. If we are quoting movie references in a transparent attempt to intimidate each other, then my response to your 'smack talk' is that of Wesley to Buttercup in the delightful movie entitled _The Princess Bride,_ which we will be watching on our next date night." Sheldon bumped the back of his head against the window when he attempted to leap backwards in response to Amy suddenly leaning towards him with her eyes narrowed. "As you wish."

Sheldon blinked at Amy, suddenly feeling slightly off kilter by her attempted invasion of his personal space, and her 'smack talk'.

Amy sat back in her seat, sitting very straight with her hands folded neatly in her lap, a satisfied looking grin on her face. He sighed. _Score one for Amy Farrah Fowler._

Sheldon cleared his throat again, attempting to regain control of the situation. "Now that that's done, I believe the negotiations should begin." He mentally cursed his vocal chords for failing him at this crucial moment when his voice cracked at the word "begin".

Amy nodded once. "Alright. I suppose you have been wondering what form of physical contact I would be proposing tonight."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. He hated feeling at a disadvantage…something which seemed to happen frequently with Amy. "Yes." He held up his index finger. "But make no mistake. I have indeed prepared for all eventualities."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "'All' eventualities?"

"Yes."

Amy cocked her head to the side. "Intriguing. Just what sort of eventualities have you prepared for?"

Sheldon frowned. "Are we ever going to get these ridiculous negotiations out of the way?"

"In time. But I find myself curious as to what you have prepared for."

"As I said, 'all eventualities'."

"Yes, but what specifically have you prepared for?"

Sheldon blinked. "I'm not sure I follow."

"I'm not sure where the confusion lies...but for the purpose of moving this conversation forward, I would like you to list for me the various ideas that you believe you may have had to negotiate for."

Sheldon frowned. "I fail to see how this is relevant to the current conversation."

Amy shrugged. "It's not. But I'm curious."

Sheldon sighed, trying to think of a way to get out of this conversation. Suddenly he smiled. He had her again.

Sheldon sat up straighter. "I believe that, much like you refused to divulge the results of your impromptu experiment, I am going to refuse to divulge my information. It is only fair after all."

Amy cocked her head to the side, appearing to think, before straightening up and saying, "Alright. I concede."

Sheldon smirked. _Score two for Sheldon Cooper_.

"Are we finally going to get started on these negotiations? It is drawing ever nearer to my bedtime."

Amy nodded. "Of course." She cleared her throat. "Sheldon Cooper, I would like to begin negotiations for a good night kiss. French."

Sheldon blinked at Amy as he mentally ran through his list of eventualities and realized, with a sinking feeling, that he had failed to include _French_ kissing. He panicked. How could he have been so stupid? He had planned for everything, right up to coitus, but had somehow managed to forget French kissing?

Sheldon felt himself start to get light headed. He looked nervously over at Amy, who appeared to be looking amused.

_Calm yourself, Cooper. Now is not the time to faint._ Sheldon took a deep breath, and did some quick thinking. He had thought of arguments against a supposed "peck" on the lips. Perhaps he could tweak that argument a bit…yes. This could work…There wasn't even much tweaking to be done.

Sheldon began to feel better as he realized he was not as ill prepared as he had at first supposed. He looked back at Amy, who was now looking at him with a blank expression on her face.

"What are your opening remarks?" Amy asked.

Sheldon cleared his throat. "I believe that kissing at this juncture in our relationship would be ill advised."

Amy blinked at him. "I see. And why would that be?"

Sheldon sat up straighter, beginning to feel in control again. Logic. This was his forte. He could do this. He _would_ do this. Amy Farrah Fowler would receive no kiss tonight.

"I have lived across the hall from Penny for over three years now. I have seen man after man leave her apartment…and that was really only for the first two years, as she was dating Leonard for most of the third. In addition to that, I have seen Penny come back to her apartment the morning after a date wearing the same clothes she had on the previous evening. In all of those scenarios, Penny did not look happy."

He paused, looking at Amy.

Amy frowned. "I fail to see your point."

Sheldon held up his index finger. "Out of all of those times, approximately eighty percent of those were first dates, never to be seen or heard from again."

Amy blinked. "…And?"

Sheldon looked at Amy incredulously. "_And_, if Penny had not been so cavalier about allowing those men to kiss her, then perhaps her relationships would have lasted longer. It is due to those first date kisses that Penny has had so many failed relationships."

Amy stared at Sheldon for a moment. "That's ridiculous."

Sheldon looked at Amy in shock. "What do you mean? It makes perfect sense."

"No, I'm afraid it doesn't. It is not due to Penny's allowances of first date kisses that her relationships failed. It was due to her allowing things to go…beyond the first kiss."

"But if she had not allowed them the quarter to kiss her, then it would never have gone…beyond the first kiss. Checkmate." Sheldon looked at Amy triumphantly, certain he had won the argument.

"Checkmate?" Amy scoffed at him. "I hardly think so. As much as I would love to be, I am not Penny…and you are not an average man. Therefore your scenario does not apply."

Sheldon shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Drat. When it was put to him that way, Sheldon could see her point. _Score two, Amy Farrah Fowler. _

But that did not negate the fact that it was an imprudent move to kiss on their first date.

Sheldon pressed his lips together in irritation. "Yeah…well…that does not negate the fact that it would be imprudent to kiss on our first date. How would you feel if you knew that I thought of you as a floozy for kissing on the first date?"

Amy raised her eyebrows. "Would you think of me as a floozy for kissing you on our first date?"

Before Sheldon thought through the consequences of vocalizing the truth, he replied with, "No."

"Then your argument is irrelevant."

Sheldon pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes. "Kissing is unsanitary. We could become ill as a result."

"But we have already kissed. Twice. Did you become ill?"

Sheldon took a deep breath, pressing his lips together so hard they started to go numb.

Amy stared blankly at Sheldon. "Well? Did you?"

Sheldon thought about not answering. What did it matter if he hadn't become ill? He should consider himself lucky…not go off kissing Amy again.

Quite suddenly, the memory of Amy's kiss popped into his head. He vividly recalled the way her lips pressed against his. And, also quite suddenly, Sheldon realized he could recall a myriad of other details that he had failed to realize he had taken note of at the time. Amy's hair had smelled of vanilla. She had been wearing Chapstick on her lips. She had placed a hand on his knee as she had leaned forward to kiss him.

"Sheldon?"

Sheldon snapped out of his reverie, completely aghast at his line of thinking. "No. I did not get sick. But I fail to see why that matters. Just because neither of us got sick does not mean that we won't. My mouth is no place for your tongue. The bacteria that call our mouths home should not venture to take a vacation. We should protect them. What if they don't like their vacation home? Then they could rebel and start replicating and then the next thing you know we're infected by the vindictive bacteria who would have been happier staying in their own familiar home!"

Amy stared at Sheldon for several minutes as he breathed heavily, trying to calm himself.

When Amy spoke, she did so quietly. "Did you just say that we should protect the bacteria in our respective mouths?"

Sheldon blinked, realizing that he had said exactly that. "…Yes…"

Amy began fidgeting with her fingers. She looked over at Sheldon, saying, "Perhaps a new proposal would be more to your liking."

Sheldon thought for a moment. Did he even want to hear Amy's new proposal? Eventually he looked back at her and said, "Alright. What is it?"

"I propose a simple goodnight kiss. No frenching. But on the lips."

Sheldon sighed, rolling his eyes. "Amy-"

Amy held up her hand.

"Before you give your counter argument, let me point out that we have already kissed twice on the lips…the first time initiated by you. By all accounts we would merely be re-establishing the status quo for our relationship."

Sheldon pressed his lips together, once again cursing the Satan's brew that had caused him to act with so little regard for his, and for that matter Amy's, health and general well being that night nearly two weeks prior.

Admittedly, he had not become ill, but that might also be attributed to the copious amounts of alcohol which had helped to sterilize his mouth. He had had no sterilizing alcohol tonight to rid his mouth of excess bacteria. As such, a kiss would not be prudent.

Almost as if Amy had heard his train of thought (which was of course impossible), she said, "I would also like to inform you that I took the liberty of bringing along some mouthwash. Should you agree to kiss me, we can rinse both before and after."

Sheldon blinked at Amy in surprise. He must admit, however grudgingly, that he was impressed at Amy's foresight…but then he supposed that meant that she would not accept his aversion to germs as an acceptable reason for declining a kiss.

Seemingly out of nowhere, the hazy memory of Sheldon's kiss to Amy popped into his head. If he recalled correctly (which was normally a given, but, given the addition of alcohol, might not be completely accurate), he had given no thought to germs prior to his deciding to kiss Amy…In fact, he had given the matter no thought at all. He had simply acted…all the more reason to avoid alcohol in the future. (The reasons were certainly stacking up.)

"Sheldon?"

Sheldon looked back over to Amy.

Amy blinked at him. "Have you thought of a reason to decline a simple good night kiss? Or are you simply amenable to the idea?"

Sheldon paused, trying to think of a reason, and becoming frustrated when he failed to. "No…and no."

"So you are not amenable to the idea, but you have thought of no reason to say no?"

"Correct."

Amy nodded. "I suspected it would come to this."

Sheldon blinked at Amy in shock. "You did?"

"Yes. But I have a solution."

"You do?"

Amy nodded. "Yes. If you agree to kiss me, I agree to believe that you won't enjoy it."

Sheldon thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons. So far as he could see, this may be his only way out…Although, there was still the option to simply refuse. Sheldon eyed Amy, but she spoke up, again as if reading his mind.

"You cannot simply refuse. You agreed in the Relationship Agreement, section four, that you would negotiate physical contact. A negotiation that ends in no physical contact is not a negotiation."

Drat. Why had he not thought of this before? Amy had hired a lawyer…surely he should have realized that she would not take a flat refusal.

Sheldon sighed. He didn't see any way around it. Amy had shot down all of his reasons and had even taken precautions with his aversion to germs in mind.

"Fine. I agree." He quickly held up his hand. "But it will be one kiss…and no unnecessary lingering."

Amy broke out into an enormous grin. "Excellent." She reached down for her purse, pulling out a small bottle of mouthwash and two small paper cups, filling them both and handing one to Sheldon.

Sheldon looked around. "Where are we to spit the mouthwash?"

"Back into the cup. I have a second set of cups for our post kiss rinse."

Sheldon blinked in surprise, again finding himself impressed. He looked down at the sea foam green liquid in his cup. Once he put that into his mouth there would be no going back.

Sheldon looked over at Amy, who was already swishing the liquid around in her mouth. He sighed, looked back at the cup and then, taking a deep breath, he poured this liquid in his mouth. He swished it around his mouth, relishing the burning sensation. The more it burned, the more bacteria it was killing. He closed his eyes, savoring the moment.

"Sheldon?"

Sheldon opened his eyes, not sure how long he had been swishing. He spit the liquid in his mouth into the cup. Amy held out her hand, and he hesitantly gave her the cup, which she then placed on her dashboard.

Amy cleared her throat, suddenly looking less sure of herself. "How shall we do this?"

Sheldon blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Do you want me to lean over to you? Do you want to lean over to me? Or shall we meet in the middle?"

Sheldon blinked at Amy, his mind feeling blank. He swallowed and then said, "Perhaps we should meet in the middle."

"Ok."

He and Amy stared at each other for several moments, before Amy reached over to unclick her seat belt. Sheldon did the same, realizing that he would be unable to lean towards Amy with the strap holding him back.

Sheldon felt his heart rate increase, and then realized that his respiratory rate had increased as well. He looked at Amy, unsure of how to proceed, and hating the feeling.

Amy started moving slowly forward towards Sheldon. He swallowed hard, and then took a deep breath and also started moving slowly towards Amy. He watched Amy's face draw nearer to his, feeling his heart rate increase in proportion to how close Amy's face was.

When they were mere inches from each other's faces, they both stopped moving forward. Sheldon blinked at Amy's eyes, large and green in front of him. He felt himself tense up. The moment was almost upon them. Once he allowed Amy to kiss him, then there was no going back. It was in the Relationship Agreement. She would be free to kiss him forevermore.

Sheldon's breath caught in his throat and he nearly pulled back. But before he could, Amy leaned forward quickly and pressed her lips against Sheldon's.

Although they were not moving near the speed of light, and therefore this could not happen, time seemed to slow down. Sheldon's eyes closed of their own accord, and in his state of hypersensitivity to his surroundings, he took note of things. He could feel Amy's hair swing to hit his shoulder. He noticed that Amy was again wearing Chapstick. He noticed Amy's vanilla scented shampoo.

And then, just as quickly as it had started, the kiss was over. Amy pulled away, and Sheldon opened his eyes, feeling dazed. He slowly sat back, looking everywhere but at Amy. He was unsure how he felt at the moment, and he did not like the thought that Amy might know this.

They sat in silence for several moments, Sheldon trying to think through what had just happened. The only word he could think of to describe the experience was "fascinating."

Sheldon was startled back to reality when Amy suddenly spoke. "Thank you for a wonderful evening."

Sheldon looked over at her, having nearly forgotten that they were at the conclusion of their date and that he now had to exit Amy's vehicle. He cleared his throat. "You're welcome."

He turned around and opened the car door, pausing before he got out to turn back to Amy and say, "See you tomorrow."

"Sheldon wait!"

He turned back around, confused. "Yes?"

Amy held out a cup. "Don't forget your mouthwash."

"Oh. Thank you." Sheldon reached over and grabbed the cup from Amy.

And with that Sheldon got out of the car and walked, in a daze, back to his apartment, swishing the mouthwash around his mouth. And as he walked, he couldn't help but think, _Score three for Amy Farrah Fowler._

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Fair warning, this month is going to be busy for me, but especially this week coming up (3 presentations. blurg.), so I'm not sure what my updating speed will be. In the meantime, if you're not already reading _The Connubial Catalyst_, then by gum get to reading it! It's my favorite Shamy fic ever. :) Marisol is a great writer! If you liked the chapter, please let me know. Thanks again! :)**_  
_


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Surprise! Today is my day off, and, to my surprise, I had the urge to write. I say 'to my surprise' because recently I've had a heck of a time with Writer's Block (that feisty demon who loves to torment us writers) on this story, so I didn't expect to be able to churn out a chapter! But seriously, starting tomorrow, I have no idea how quickly updates will come. Since this A/N is already forever long, I want to say a million thank yous to those who have chosen to review. 400! You guys are amazing and thank you so very much for reading! Also, my sincere apologies at the number of spelling/punctuation mistakes in the previous chapter. I had to upload it quickly because I had to be out the door, and then didn't get a chance to re-read it again until about 24 hours later. I was apalled. I've attempted to be extra vigilant with this chapter, so here's hoping I succeeded. And now that this A/N is a short novel, I'll let you get to reading and say" See Ya when I See ya!" :)**

**Chapter 25**

Sheldon walked through the door of his and Leonard's apartment, still deep in thought. After closing the door behind himself, he stood there for several moments, confused about how he had gotten into the apartment without remembering the journey from Amy's car to the place he was currently standing.

"Sheldon? Are you alright?"

Sheldon looked over at Leonard, who was currently sitting at his desk in front of his computer.

Clearing his throat, Sheldon responded with, "Yes. Of course."

He started walking towards the bathroom in order to pour his used mouthwash into the sink and throw away the paper cup.

After pouring it into the sink, Sheldon stared at the mouthwash as it swirled away, leaving a thin film that slowly worked its way down the drain, as well. Sheldon couldn't help but relate to the mouthwash. Much like the mouthwash's fight to remain out of the drain was futile, so it would appear that Sheldon's fight against physical contact was futile. He had kissed Amy Farrah Fowler…without the aid of alcohol induced inhibition impairment and with his full knowledge of what had been about to transpire.

Sheldon shook his head, attempting to shake away his current state of shock.

_This is ridiculous. It was merely a kiss. And it was not even the first kiss between you and Amy. As she said, you merely re-established the status quo, _Sheldon thought to himself.

He looked up at his image in the mirror. It wasn't as if he looked any different. There were no external indications that anything had changed. Therefore, the reasonable conclusion was that nothing _had_ changed.

Sheldon stood up straighter, looking down his nose at his mirrored self. "You are Sheldon Cooper, Man of Science, Boyfriend of Amy Farrah Fowler. You solve the mysteries of the universe. You are not cowed by something as mundane as a kiss." He pointed to himself. "You are still brighter than everyone else on this planet. You are still _superior_ to everyone on this planet…" He looked away and frowned as he recalled his recent encounters with his girlfriend, and her frustrating ability to win every debate.

Sheldon looked back at himself in the mirror, and scowled. "She did not win…because you are Sheldon Cooper. You do not lose. You always win. And you are still superior to all but one person on this planet…and her superiority merely _matches_ yours." He again pointed to himself, looking severe. "You get out there and you act like nothing has changed, because nothing has." He put down his hand and blinked at his image.

After a moment he shrugged and said, "When you're right, you're right."

Sheldon tossed the paper cup into the trash can and walked back out into the living room to sit in front of his computer. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Leonard watching him.

Pressing the power button on his computer, Sheldon said, without looking over, "Is there something you wish to say Leonard? If so, please do so and then desist with your unnecessary staring. If not, then please desist with your unnecessary staring."

Leonard paused for a beat before saying, "How was your first date with Amy?"

Sheldon opened his internet browser, again responding without looking over at Leonard. "It was quite satisfactory."

Sheldon opened his email, pleased to see that he had three. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Leonard open his mouth, and then shake his head, muttering "Oh, never mind."

Sheldon thought briefly about asking Leonard to clarify his statement, but decided he didn't care enough to interrupt the checking of his email.

The first two emails turned out to be from graduate students praising his work and requesting a meal time together. Sheldon smirked. As a rule, he felt graduate students were beneath him (one of the many reasons he continually declined offers to become a professor), but he didn't blame them for wanting to fraternize with the great Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and if he was going to get free meals out of the deal, then who was he to crush their dreams?

He sent a brief reply to each of them, setting up free lunches for the following day and Monday, complete with detailed instructions on how to arrange the items on his plate and along with his myriad of other details about sanitation, etc.

Sheldon then opened the third email, noting, with happy surprise, that it was from Dr. Beverly Hofstadter. It had been several weeks since he had sent his last email to her regarding his thoughts on her last book, which he had found highly interesting, and which had served to help him better understand just why Leonard was so desperate for the love of a woman.

Sheldon was in the midst of reading the email when Penny suddenly burst through the door.

"Sheldon, oh my god! You kissed Amy?"

Sheldon looked over at Penny with a frown, as Leonard did a double take and said, "Wait…You kissed Amy? And you didn't say anything?"

Sheldon gave Leonard a look. Leonard nodded. "Right. Sometimes I forget you're a robot."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "While your sentiment is, unfortunately, untrue, I thank you just the same."

Leonard frowned. "That wasn't a compliment…oh forget it."

Penny looked between the two. "Seriously? That's it? Did you hear what I just said? _Sheldon kissed Amy."_

Sheldon sighed. Penny's fixation on the mundane continued to baffle him. "Penny, I fail to see why Amy and I's shared kiss is worthy of you bursting into our apartment unannounced and yelling."

Penny snorted. "Oh please. I burst into your apartment all the time."

Sheldon gave Penny a look. "I know."

Penny waved her hand, walking over to Sheldon. "Who cares about that? What's important is that you kissed Amy!"

Sheldon frowned, confused. "I would like to point out that I did not kiss Amy. We agreed to meet in the middle, therefore the kiss was not from either one of us to the other. Furthermore, why would my kissing Amy even be considered important? It's not as if this is the first time we have kissed. If you'll recall, I kissed Amy after my night of drunken carousing with Raj, and in turn, she kissed me the following day."

"Well…yeah, but…This time you both agreed to it before you did it."

Sheldon looked at Penny curiously, as a thought occurred to him. "How did you know that Amy and I shared a kiss?"

Leonard held up his hand. "Hang on a minute. You kissed Amy? Seriously?"

Sheldon and Penny both looked over at Leonard. Penny spoke up first. "Leonard, Sweetie, you've been right here the whole time. What's with the sudden realization?"

Leonard shrugged. "I'm just having a hard time wrapping my brain around the idea that _Sheldon_ willingly kissed a girl."

Penny nodded. "Yeah. I had a hard time with the idea, too."

Leonard raised an eyebrow. "Really? Because it kind of seems like you just ran in here the moment you heard the news…"

"Well, yeah…because I couldn't believe it…"

Sheldon rolled his eyes, tiring of the conversation. He turned back around to continue reading Beverly's email.

"Hang on, Sheldon," Penny said, "You still haven't told me the details."

Sheldon looked over at Penny in confusion.

"Details? What details? Amy Farrah Fowler and I shared a good night kiss. Those are all the details…I'm not sure what you're expecting to hear."

"Well…all of it. Who initiated? How'd it even come up? Was it any good?"

Sheldon frowned. "Why should I answer any of those questions? You never answered my question regarding how you came about this information."

Penny shrugged. "I got a text."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "From who?"

"Amy."

"In that case, perhaps you should discuss these supposed details with the person from whom you received the information. I have told you everything I intend to. Now if you'll excuse me, I really must return to reading my email from Leonard's mother."

Leonard frowned. "You have an email from my mother? Why are you talking to her? She hasn't emailed me back in two months. Did she say anything about why?"

Sheldon looked over at Leonard. "Why on earth would we talk about you?" Sheldon turned back around to continue reading.

Sheldon heard Penny say, "Ugh. Whatever. I'm texting Amy," and then the sound of their door shutting. He could see Leonard still looking at him out of the corner of his eye. Sheldon ignored him, and eventually Leonard looked back at his own computer.

Sheldon typed out a reply to Beverly's email and then hit send. When he got back to his inbox, Sheldon saw that he had received an email from Amy. He smiled as he opened it.

_Dear Sheldon,_

_I would like to thank you, once again, for a very pleasant evening. Of the many dates which I have been on, this is the first which has been pleasant from start to finish. I always enjoy our discussions and debates, and I look forward to the many more we shall have in the future. _

_I would also like to put your mind at ease regarding a certain event which transpired this evening. As you know, per the Relationship Agreement, section four, kissing is now to be considered "game" during all future encounters. I would like to reassure you that I shall not turn into a crazed hormone, and/or pheromone, ruled girlfriend hell bent on kissing you at every chance that I get. While I certainly make no promises regarding the frequency with which we kiss, you can rest assured that I understand your hesitancy in regards to the exchange of saliva, and will respect your opinion in this area. You can also rest assured that I will not demand a kiss from you every time we meet. While I found the experience very satisfying and cannot deny my wish for further progress in the future, I am willing to go at a pace with which you are comfortable. This, of course, is under the implied assumption that you will not demand a cessation of the eventual moving forward of our relationship, nor attempt to define "eventual" as many months and/or years down the road. That said, I do realize that things have been moving relatively quickly, and I am willing to simply enjoy the fact that I am now dating my dearest childhood friend, and that we have kissed thrice._

_Sincerely Yours,  
__Amy_

Sheldon blinked at the screen in surprise, and then reread the email. By the time he finished reading a second time, Sheldon was smiling (and quite unaware of it). He hit the reply button and began typing.

_Dear Amy,_

_I would like to thank you for your email. It was a most pleasant surprise. _

_I must admit to finding myself relieved to hear that you will not be expecting me to kiss you at every encounter. Your consideration is appreciated. I also find I must confess that, while the following realization has come as a complete shock to me, I did not find the experience of kissing you altogether unpleasant. And while I, too, can make no promises regarding the frequency with which I will allow you to kiss me, I find myself not entirely opposed to the thought of it occurring again sometime in the relatively distant future. _

_I thank you again for your consideration of my feelings on the matter. You are indeed correct that the relationship has been moving at a speed which some might classify as "warp", and I am relieved that you are amenable to slowing the pace to a speed which is more comfortable._

_Fondest Regards,  
__Sheldon_

Sheldon re-read his email, checking for grammatical errors. When he read the part regarding his feelings towards the kiss itself, he paused. Did he really wish to admit such a thing? In truth, until he was in the midst of typing, he had not even realized himself that those were his feelings.

Sheldon moved the mouse to highlight the sentence and then hovered his finger over the delete button. He paused, still considering. He was not necessarily opposed to Amy having this information, but was worried, what with her recent texting of all details to Penny, about the others of their social group (or worse…his sister) finding out such a sensitive piece of information.

He physically placed his finger on the delete button. Perhaps it would be best to alleviate such a concern by not having the sentence in there at all. A small voice in his head reminded him that Amy had already made a similar confession regarding the kiss. However, that had been of her own choosing. Obviously she had not considered the potential consequences of her actions.

Why was he even hesitating? That, in and of itself, was baffling. Sheldon willed himself to simply press the delete key, and was again surprised at his reluctance to do so. Eventually he moved the mouse to the last letter of his name and clicked. He pressed enter and started typing.

_P.S. I would request that you keep my feelings regarding our previous kisses and all future kisses between the two of us._

Sheldon sat back, reading and re-reading the post script. He hesitantly moved the mouse over to the send button and then paused again. He started to reconsider the entire email, but before he could move his hand, his index finger twitched and the email was sent.

Sheldon let go of the mouse, put his hands in his lap, and sat back in his chair, stunned. He sat for several moments simply staring at the screen before he heard Leonard say, "Is something wrong Sheldon?"

Sheldon looked over, clearing his throat. "No. Nothing is the matter."

Leonard frowned. "Are you sure? You look a little…pale. Are you feeling ok?"

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "Leonard, if I wasn't feeling well, don't you think I would have already made you aware of the situation?"

Leonard nodded once. "Fair enough…but seriously. Are you ok?"

Sheldon sighed. "I've already said that I am. Why do you insist on continuing to ask a question which I have already answered?"

Leonard raised his eyebrows, saying, "Alright," and then turned back towards his computer. He turned back once with his mouth open, but ended up closing it, shaking his head, and returning to his typing.

Sheldon shook his head at Leonard and then turned back to his own computer, surprised to see that he had a new email, and even more surprised to see that it was from Amy.

Sheldon felt his heart rate increase (completely baffled by this fact) as he opened the email.

_Dear Sheldon,_

_You have my word that the particulars of your feelings will not be divulged…no matter how vigorous the texting demands of one flaxen haired beauty, or her homunculus sized friend._

_Sincerely Yours,  
__Amy_

Sheldon felt his heart rate begin to slow as a relieved smile spread across his face.

"Everything good, Sheldon?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon looked over at Leonard, exasperated.

Leonard held up a hand. "Right. Sorry." Leonard rolled his eyes as he turned back to his computer, yet again. "Sorry, I give a damn."

Sheldon rolled his own eyes in response and turned his head back to his computer, smiling again as he re-read Amy's response. Perhaps this relationship endeavor would end up being a good thing after all…

**A/N: Thanks again for reading! Just so you know, this is a transitional chapter. Don't worry, you won't have to read another 10 chapters before the Shamy moves the relationship forward again. I needed a way to transition into a time jump and this is the result. :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Sheldon sat in front of his computer, watching the second hand on his watch tick towards the number twelve. It was nearly time for his and Amy's nightly Skyping conversation. In the three months, give or take a couple of days, since their first date, Sheldon and Amy had taken to ending their respective days by updating each other on the day's events. Sheldon had never missed calling at exactly 9:00 p.m. (Pacific Standard Time).

The nightly ritual had begun shortly after their first date, when Sheldon had made a passing remark about the convenience of knowing what to expect in their relationship. When Amy had asked for clarification, Sheldon had pointed out that her follow up emails had made it much easier for him to know Amy's intentions, because she had blatantly told him what her intentions were. Amy had then suggested that perhaps it would be beneficial for the two of them to converse regularly, and had suggested Skype as the best means, due to the ability to see the other person without having to physically be in their presence. Sheldon, seeing the logic behind Amy's suggestion, had readily agreed.

Originally they had agreed to converse every three days. But then Sheldon had made an exciting breakthrough, after only two days, which could not be adequately explained in a text, was not something he wished to email, as an email would make it more difficult to include diagrams, and was also not something he wanted to discuss on the telephone (for the same reason). So, he had decided on an impromptu calling of Amy on Skype.

Of course, they had intended to continue their every three day routine after that, but then two days after Sheldon's discovery, Amy had called Sheldon on Skype in order to introduce him to her new roommate, Ricky, a small monkey which she was currently giving emphysema too.

Naturally, after that, they had agreed after that to go back to their every three day routine, but then Sheldon had heard an amusing joke about rhesus monkeys which he knew Amy would appreciate, so he had Skyped her the following day in order to see her facial expressions as he told the joke.

The day after that Amy had Skyped him in order to show him a fascinating book she had purchased on various flags of the world.

The day after that Sheldon had Skyped Amy to show her a diagram he had drawn which illustrated why Oreos were superior to their ill-named elder brother, the Hydrox cookie.

It had been at that point that Amy suggested perhaps they should simply agree to Skype every night prior to going to sleep. Sheldon had readily agreed, as it seemed that both of their lives were so interesting that they were unable to wait three days in order to fill the other one in. And so the nightly ritual had begun.

Sheldon found that he quite enjoyed talking with Amy every night. He enjoyed the variety of topics which they discussed, from their respective research, to any new developments elsewhere in the scientific world, to which Disney villain was the most villainous (Amy was insistent that it was Maleficent, while Sheldon continued to argue his case for the correct answer: Cruella de Vil. Obviously someone who wants to murder puppies is more villainous than an overly sensitive witch.)

Sheldon smiled as the second hand reached twelve and he clicked the button to call Amy.

Sheldon's smile slowly disappeared as the line went unanswered. He began to worry that something was wrong. Amy had never missed answering his call before. Sheldon was just considering hanging up and attempting to call her phone, when Amy picked up.

Sheldon blinked in surprise at her appearance.

"My apologies Sheldon," Amy said. She was breathing heavily, and her hair appeared to be mussed.

Sheldon frowned, concerned. "Is everything alright? You look frazzled."

Amy closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm finding life with a primate a little challenging at the moment. Just before you called, I attempted to give Ricky a new brand of cigarettes…let us just say that he was a little unhappy."

Sheldon cocked his head to the side. "Really? Why did you give him a new brand? You know he only likes the Marlboro Menthols."

Amy looked to her right, and yelled, "Because they were out of Marlboro Menthols!"

Sheldon could hear the screams of the obviously angry Ricky, and then saw what appeared to be a stapler fly past Amy's head. She managed to duck in time to avoid being hit.

Sheldon frowned again, becoming quite concerned for Amy's safety. "Perhaps it would be best if you returned Ricky to the lab. It would grieve me to learn that you had been in an accident as a result of the temperamental primate."

Suddenly the computer screen was filled with the angry face of Ricky, who appeared to now be yelling at Sheldon.

Sheldon crossed his arms. "Don't take that tone with me Ricky. I can certainly understand your hesitancy to try something different, but I refuse to stick up for you when you are putting my girlfriend in such danger. Your temper is quite unnecessary. I don't see why Amy should be so kind as to let you watch her cable, and buy your cigarettes, if you're going to be so violent when she does not provide you with your usual brand of cigarette. As she said, they were out. It is not her fault."

Ricky got even closer to the camera and then screamed once, for roughly two seconds, before running away, out of Sheldon's view.

Sheldon looked at Amy, who was looking to her right.

"Amy? Are you still in danger? You could always come over and request to sleep in Penny's bed if you feel unsafe."

Amy looked back at Sheldon. "Ricky appears to be pouting. He is now sitting in the corner with his back away from me." She glanced back over in Ricky's direction. "However, it appears that he is lighting up a cigarette, so perhaps you have managed to convince him that he was being irrational."

Sheldon heard the monkey scream. Amy raised her eyebrows, and spoke in Ricky's direction. "What Sheldon said was entirely true, no matter how long you pout."

Amy looked back at Sheldon, running her palm over her hair, likely to try to smooth it out. "My apologies for the delay in the start of our conversation."

Sheldon waved a hand. "It's not entirely your fault. Ricky has quite the temper."

Amy raised an eyebrow. "Not _entirely_ my fault?"

Sheldon shrugged. "You did buy him a different brand of cigarette. Even if the store was out, you could have gone to another store."

Sheldon heard Ricky scream in three short bursts. Amy looked over towards the monkey. "Don't start again. I am _not_ in the mood!"

Amy looked back at Sheldon, narrowing her eyes. "I do not appreciate your comment."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "You seem upset."

"That's because I am."

Sheldon frowned. "Why?"

"Because I do not appreciate that you think I am responsible, in any way, for Ricky's current behavior."

"But you are. As you yourself stated, he is angry because you did not purchase the correct brand of cigarettes. Who else's fault would it be?"

Amy pressed her lips together, still narrowing her eyes. "I believe I will say good night to you, Sheldon."

"But we have not had our conversation."

"I have had all the 'conversation' I care to tonight. I bid you good evening."

Before Sheldon could respond, his screen went dark. He blinked at it, unsure of what had just transpired. He replayed the conversation in his head, trying to see where the conversation had gone awry. But try as he might, he could not puzzle out what had made Amy upset.

He shrugged, muttering to himself, "Probably just related to her menstrual cycle."

He was sure he would receive a text/email/phone call tomorrow with Amy's apology.

* * *

As Sheldon prepared for work the next day, he thought about the cause of Amy's outburst of anger, still coming up short as to the reason behind it. And he had not, as yet, received a text/email/phone call from Amy.

During the car ride to work, Sheldon turned to Leonard, hoping perhaps he could help Sheldon solve the mystery behind Amy's anger.

"Leonard, I have a quandary I wish to discuss with you."

Leonard glanced over at Sheldon. "Sheldon, I already told you that I wasn't going to help you convince Amy that _The Original Series _Spock is superior to the 2009 version."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "Yes. You made that abundantly clear. But that is not what I was referring to."

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

Sheldon cleared his throat. "Amy is apparently angry with me, and I was wondering if you might be able to help me puzzle out the reason."

Leonard cleared his throat and glanced over at Sheldon. "Ok…I can try. What happened?"

"Well, I called Amy for our nightly Skyping session, as usual, at 9:00 p.m."

"Ok."

"When she picked up, she looked frazzled. Apparently she had been unable to purchase the correct brand of cigarettes for Ricky, and he, in turn, was giving her a difficult time."

Leonard frowned. "Who's Ricky? And why is Amy buying him cigarettes?"

"Ricky is the monkey she is currently attempting to give emphysema to. He is very temperamental, especially about his cigarettes."

"Ok…Why is Ricky at her apartment?"

"Amy feels guilty for giving him emphysema and so she offers her home and, more importantly, her cable as restitution for his eventual death. But that's not the point."

"Ok, then what's the point?"

"Amy and Ricky were arguing rather vigorously. I attempted to calm the monkey down…succeeding, I might add. And then when Amy apologized for the delay in the start of our conversation and when I responded by saying that it wasn't entirely Amy's fault that he was so angry, she got angry. The best way I can figure it, she must be experiencing the dramatic hormonal shifts associated with her menses."

Leonard did a double take, looking over at Sheldon.

"Eye's on the road please, Leonard," Sheldon said.

Leonard looked back at the front. "Right. So…what else happened?"

"Nothing. That's the baffling part. That was it."

Leonard frowned. "And what _exactly_ did you say to Amy when she apologized?"

"I said, 'It's not entirely your fault. Ricky has a temper.'"

"Did you use the word 'entirely'?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "If I hadn't then I wouldn't have told you I had."

Sheldon suddenly frowned, as a thought struck him. "Do you believe Amy was upset at the insinuation in my comment that some of the fault for Ricky's behavior was due to her?"

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "It's certainly a possibility."

"Hmm." Sheldon thought back to the conversation. Given Amy's following remarks, it would make sense…except, of course, for the part where it didn't make sense to become angry over such a comment.

Sheldon turned to Leonard and smiled. "Thank you, Leonard."

"Uh…I'm not sure what I said, but you're welcome." Leonard smiled in return.

"Hmm," Sheldon said. "You're right. You didn't actually help at all. I figured this one out on my own. Looks like I didn't need your advice after all."

Leonard gave Sheldon a look and then continue to drive in silence.

* * *

Sheldon sat in his office, trying to work, but getting nowhere. He narrowed his eyes at the equations, trying to see what he could change to make the formula balance out. He walked over to the board and changed a minus sign to a plus sign.

He stared for a moment and then sighed. "Quit embarrassing yourself, Cooper." He quickly erased the plus sign and made it a minus again. He recognized his desperate attempt at solving the equation for what it was: a sign that it was time to take a break.

Sheldon walked over to his desk, sat down, and opened the drawer which contained his Red Vines. He pulled out a couple of ropes of the delicious candy and sat back in his chair.

As he chewed on his first bite, his thoughts returned to Amy. He reached over to check his phone, yet again, to find that she still had not texted him. Even when Amy was busy she still managed to text him at least once in the course of a two hour time period. Perhaps this meant that she was still angry.

But what to do…?

Sheldon's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the office door.

He frowned. "Who is it?"

"Julia Carmichael."

"I don't know a Julia Carmichael," Sheldon yelled.

He heard the sound of Julia clearing her throat. "I'm a graduate student. I just finished reading your entire body of work. I…I was coming to tell you how much I enjoyed it."

Sheldon perked up. Another graduate minion, coming to praise him? "Very well. Enter."

The door opened and the girl who called herself Julia walked through the door.

"Hello, Dr. Cooper."

"Good day."

"May I have a seat?"

"No."

Julia blinked, looking surprised. "Oh…um…ok."

Sheldon took another bite of his Red Vine, sitting up straight. "So you read my entire body of work?"

Julia smiled. "Oh yes."

"And you were able to understand it all?"

Julia nodded. "Yes, yes. It was simply thrilling."

Sheldon smiled. "Naturally. Please, feel free to share your favorite parts."

Julia smiled and started pacing around the room, gesticulating wildly, as she went on to describe the particulars of Sheldon's research which so enthralled her.

Sheldon loved it when people truly appreciated his work. As Julia continued to speak, Sheldon found himself with the sudden urge to text Amy in order to tell her of the latest minion in his office who appreciated his work. But then he remembered that she was angry with him.

Sheldon thought for a moment about how he could clear up the misunderstanding. He and Amy were so good about communicating, and thus he did not like Amy's current decision to give him the proverbial cold shoulder.

He looked over at Julia, who was still talking, despite the fact that Sheldon had stopped listening several minutes ago. Perhaps this female in front of him could help him figure out a way to get Amy to talk to him.

"Julia," Sheldon interrupted. Julia stopped talking and looked over at Sheldon.

Sheldon thought for a moment about possible solutions to run by Julia. "Do you enjoy a well cooked meal?"

Julia's mouth popped open in shock. "Oh, uh, sure. A good meal is always nice."

"I see." Sheldon thought for a moment. "And if someone were to take you to a restaurant, or provide a well cooked meal in their home, would that improve your mood?"

Julia paused for a beat, before looking at Sheldon through her eyelashes and smiling. "Yes, I suppose it would."

"Mmhmm…And what type of meal would work best towards improving your mood? Chinese? Italian? Thai?"

"I think Italian food is always nice for setting a…romantic mood," Julia said, walking over and sitting on the edge of Sheldon's desk.

He frowned. "Don't sit on my desk." Why on earth would she think _that_ was alright?

Julia hopped up. "Oh, I'm so sorry!"

Sheldon sat forward, folding his hands on his desk. "So, in your mind, the best way to improve a female's mood would be to provide some sort of Italian meal?"

Julia smiled again. "Yes, indeed."

Sheldon nodded. "Very well." He looked up at Julia. "In that case, I would like you to bring dinner to my house tonight."

Julia's smile widened. "Oh…Yes, of course."

"Excellent. Please leave me your email address and I will email you where you can pick up dinner and the particulars of the order. Naturally, the order will be for two."

Julia excitedly walked to Sheldon's white board.

"Excuse me," Sheldon said, frowning. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

Julia frowned, looking confused. "I was going to write my email address in the corner here."

Sheldon crossed his arms. "No one touches my board."

Julia's eyes got big. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Of course." She walked quickly over to Sheldon's desk. "Do you have something that I could write on?"

Sheldon sighed and tore a piece of paper out of the back of his notebook. _You'd think she would have come better prepared_, he thought. _Who doesn't carry paper with them?_

Julia handed him the paper back, and then started backing out the door. "So, um…I'll see you tonight then?"

"Yes. Be expecting my email shortly."

Julia giggled. "Ok. Great. I look forward to it."

After she left, Sheldon stared at the door. Julia had seemed unusually excited about providing dinner for him and Amy, even when one factored in that she was providing a meal for the brilliant Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

He shook his head and grabbed out his phone, sending a text to Amy.

_If you are amenable, I would like to discuss our current misunderstanding over dinner. I realize it is not our usual date night, but I would be willing to make an exception, given the special circumstances._

He sent the message and sat back, hoping Amy responded quickly.

Approximately five minutes (and eight Red Vines) later, Sheldon's phone buzzed with Amy's text.

_I am amenable to dinner and a discussion. I assume we are going out. May I ask where?_

Sheldon quickly typed out his response.

_We will not be going out. We will be dining at my apartment. I will be providing an Italian meal._

Less than thirty seconds after he sent his reply, Amy responded.

_Interesting. I have never known you to cook._

_I'm not cooking. Let us call the meal 'catered',_ Sheldon texted.

Amy replied, _And it will be just the two of us?_

_Of course._ Sheldon had no intentions of holding his discussion with Amy in the presence of others.

_Very well, I shall be there this evening. Shall we say 6:00?_

_6:00 will be fine. See you then._

Sheldon set down his phone and walked back over to stare at his board, ready to concentrate again. He was confident that, after this evening's meal, Amy's issues with him would be completely resolved.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! :) I hate to beg but...*puppy dog eyes* review?**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Man, things have been slow in FFN Shamyland haven't they? A few writers must be on vacation (or "on holiday" if you're British. ;)) Sorry about the wait! I could blame my newest fic for taking my attention away from this one, but really it had more to do with writer's block. Hope you enjoy! :)**

**Chapter 27**

"Leonard, you will have to eat elsewhere this evening," Sheldon said, on his and Leonard's nightly drive home.

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"I am having Amy over for a meal and do not wish to discuss our current misunderstanding around the listening ears of our peers."

"Why can't you do that at Amy's? Everyone was already planning to come over for dinner."

Sheldon frowned. "Why would I invite myself over to Amy's for a dinner I'm providing? That would not be very cordial of me."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Fine. But you're going to have to call everyone yourself and tell them not to come over."

Sheldon pressed his lips together. "Why? Why can't you do it?"

"Because you're the one who's cancelling everyone's dinner plans."

"But I would think as my roommate, and friend, you would wish to do what you could to help me regain good standing in my relationship with Amy."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Sheldon, just because I'm making you call everyone to cancel, doesn't mean I'm not supportive of you trying to 'regain good standing' in your relationship with Amy…and wait a minute. Are you telling me you're actually changing your eating rotation?"

Sheldon sigh. "Unfortunately, yes."

Leonard looked over at Sheldon. "Wow…Well, if you're making me eat somewhere else, then I'm not bringing you dinner."

"You don't have to."

Leonard frowned. "I don't?...Wait, don't tell me _you're_ going to go get it yourself."

"Don't be absurd. I'm having it delivered."

"Oh. Well, anyway, don't forget to let everyone else know not to come over."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Fine…but I still say if you were really my friend, you'd help me out."

Leonard rolled his eyes and sighed in response.

* * *

Sheldon looked at his watch, irritated. It was now 6:03 and both Amy and Julia were late. He had instructed Julia to be present by 5:50 p.m. sharp, and she had yet to make her appearance.

_Knock knock._

"It's about time," Sheldon said to the room at large. He wondered which of the women it would be, but upon opening the door he found both women waiting. Amy was frowning at Julia and Julia appeared to be looking Amy up and down.

Sheldon frowned at both of them. "You're late."

Amy looked over with one raised eyebrow, but before she could speak Julia said, "I am _so_ sorry! I knew I should have allowed extra time, but when I got to the restaurant the order was all wrong," she walked past Sheldon, into his apartment, "So of course, I had to have them fix the mistake."

Sheldon blinked at Julia. "Yes. Well, as you said, it is always beneficial to allow extra time for mistakes. I find in general that orders will be wrong up to seventy-five percent of the time, especially when you are making such specific requests. That said, I appreciate your dedication to getting the order correct."

Julia smiled and then looked pointedly at Amy. "I was unaware there would be more than two people eating tonight."

Sheldon jumped slightly as he felt Amy bump against him. He looked down and saw she was standing so close their arms were brushing. He frowned at her in confusion and then returned to speak to Julia. "There aren't."

Julia cleared her throat. "Oh. I see. Shall I perhaps set things up then while you…take care of things?"

_Take care of things?_ Sheldon thought. _What on earth is she talking about?_ As Julia walked into Sheldon's kitchen, Amy walked over and sat down on the middle cushion of the couch, crossing both her arms and legs.

Sheldon looked at Amy, then to Julia, and back again. Amy was acting peculiar…although perhaps it is due to her residual anger over their brief argument the evening prior.

"Where would you like the food placed?" Julia asked from the kitchen. Sheldon walked over to his spot and pointed at the coffee table. "Here on the coffee table will be fine."

He sat down in his spot, glancing at Amy, who appeared to be watching Julia through narrowed eyes. Sheldon frowned. "Amy, your current non-verbal communication would indicate that you are angry."

Amy gave him a sideways look but said nothing, appearing to press her lips together. Julia walked over with the food, arranged on plates, and set it down on the coffee table. After arranging it, she walked over and sat down in the chair.

Sheldon frowned at her, wondering why she was sitting instead of taking her leave. Julia made a smacking sound with her lips and clasped her hands on her crossed legs. "So…have you taken care of things with…" Julia looked at Amy.

Amy narrowed her eyes and said, "Amy."

"...with Amy?"

Sheldon frowned. "No, I have not." He looked between the two women again. Julia appeared to be looking Amy up and down again while Amy continued to look at Julia through narrowed eyes. Sheldon was very confused.

"Why are you sitting, Julia?" He asked.

Julia looked over at Sheldon in surprise. "Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like me to sit elsewhere?"

"I would like you to leave."

She blinked at him, in shock. "Leave? Why?"

Sheldon was even more confused. "Because you have fulfilled your purpose for this evening. You have brought dinner for Amy and I."

"Amy and…" Julia looked at Amy and then back at Sheldon. "Hang on. I was bringing food for the two of _you_?"

Sheldon frowned, his confusion growing. "Of course. Who did you think it was for?"

Sheldon heard Amy scoff and looked over. "She thought it was for you and her, Sheldon."

Sheldon looked over at Julia. "Is that true?"

"Well…" Julia frowned at Amy and then looked back at Sheldon. "…yeah. Why else would you invite me to your home and ask me to bring you dinner?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand. At no point in our conversation did I state that the meal would be shared between the two of us."

Julia looked at Amy again and then back at Sheldon. "Who is Amy, Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon opened his mouth, but Amy answered first. "I am his girlfriend. _Doctor_ Amy Farrah Fowler."

Julia looked shocked. "Girlfriend? Dr. Cooper, why you didn't say you had a girlfriend?"

Amy looked over at him. "Yes indeed, Sheldon. Why didn't you?"

Sheldon looked between the two women, suddenly feeling as if he had been backed into a corner, and not quite understanding why. "Why should I have informed her that I had a girlfriend? I don't see how that was relevant."

Julia glanced at Amy again and then looked at Sheldon. "Not relevant? You invited me over for dinner."

Sheldon looked at her in shock. "I did no such thing."

"Yes you did. You asked me all about what women find romantic and then asked me to bring you dinner for two. You never mentioned you had a _girlfriend_."

Amy frowned at Sheldon. "Is this true, Sheldon? Is that indeed what happened?"

Sheldon frowned. "I did not ask her what women find romantic about anything. I asked if a meal would make put a woman in a good mood," he replied, starting to understand that he had somehow made another blunder, but still not quite sure yet what it was.

"And you failed to state that you had a girlfriend?" Amy asked.

"It did not seem relevant."

"Excuse me," interjected Julia. Both Sheldon and Amy looked over at her. "Why would I bring you a meal for you and your girlfriend? Of course it was relevant."

Sheldon frowned. "Are you saying that the only reason you brought the meal here tonight was because you foresaw some sort of romantic date happening between us?"

"Yes!" Julia said, now looking very put out.

"But that's absurd. Why on earth would I date a graduate student?"

Julia's mouth opened and closed, reminding Sheldon of a fish.

"Julia," stated Amy, "I believe it would be best for you to leave. There has clearly been a misunderstanding. I apologize on behalf of Dr. Cooper."

"Hang on just a minute," Sheldon said. "What do I have to apologize for? I never said a word to Julia about a date. I made generalized statements about meals, and simply asked her to bring a meal for two to my home. I see no need to apologize for her blatantly inaccurate assumption that I would actually invite a graduate student to my home with romantic intentions."

Both women looked over at Sheldon, Amy with a look of disbelief, and Julia with a look of anger.

"You…you…you are the most self-involved…I just…"

Sheldon looked at Julia in confusion. "I'm afraid I don't follow."

Julia got up. "I believe I _will_ leave." She looked over at Amy. "At first I couldn't understand why he was with you, but now I wonder the exact opposite."

Amy frowned at Julia, while Sheldon protested. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that you are a self-centered man and I can't believe you found someone willing to call herself your girlfriend."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "No. The first part. Why should you not understand why I am dating Amy?"

Julia glanced at Amy. "Well…look at her."

Sheldon looked at Amy, not understanding. "I don't follow." Amy, however, was pressing her lips together.

"I believe it is well past time for you to leave," Amy said to Julia through narrowed eyes.

Julia stalked over to grab her purse and then walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

Sheldon stared at the door, frowning in confusion at what just happened. He looked over at Amy and was startled to see her looking at him through narrow eyes, arms and legs still crossed.

He cleared his throat, eyes roving around the room. "Perhaps we should eat?"

Amy said nothing.

Sheldon frowned, worried. "You seem upset…can I offer you a hot beverage?"

Amy still said nothing, merely looking at him through narrowed eyes.

"Well…I'm at a loss." Sheldon said.

Amy finally spoke up. "How frequently do you have graduate students bring you a meal?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Approximately once a month, although on occasion it does happen more frequently."

"I see," Amy replied. Sheldon was not usually one to understand facial expressions and tone of voice, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Amy was very angry. "And, of all these graduate students, how many have been male?"

Sheldon thought for a moment. "I don't believe any of them have been…" Sheldon cocked his head to the side. "Have I managed to upset you further? Or is this the residual anger from our misunderstanding last night?"

Amy didn't answer, instead asking, "And of all these _female_ graduate students who have brought you a meal, how many of them have come here under the delusion that they were participating in a date with you?"

Sheldon thought back through his various encounters with graduate students. He had had several awkward encounters with girls who, for reasons unknown to him at the time, had insisted on lingering after bringing him his meal. Could those have been cases where they had misunderstood his intent, much like Julia, and had thought that he had been asking them on a date? Sheldon tallied up the total.

"I am unsure if all of the encounters were under such delusions, but for the sake of answering your question, sixty-three graduate students seemed to linger for an unnecessarily long time after providing me with my meal."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "Sixty-three?...And why have I not heard more about these encounters?"

Sheldon frowned, confused. "Why should you have? They are only graduate students after all."

Amy narrowed her eyes. "Sheldon, I believe I am going to leave. Please consider yourself in the proverbial dog house. I have no wish to discuss the events of last night with you, and shall be waiting for your apology. Until such time as I receive it, I will remain out of contact with you." She stood up and turned to him. "I hope you have a horrible evening."

Sheldon blinked at Amy in shock as she grabbed her purse and walked out the door.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! So, here's the deal. I'm writing 3 fics now. I'd like to work on the fic that people want updated the most, and really the only way for me to gauge that is through reviews. I'd like to say this one will always take precedence because it was the first one I started writing, but I've noticed a steady decline in per chapter reviews, so I don't know if the enthusiasm is still present. (and hey, I'm not complaining about lack of reviews AT ALL, because I realize I have a ton, I just figure the per chapter decrease is due to decreased interest is all.) So if you like this chapter, let me know. Thanks! :)**

**P.S. Also, for whatever reason writer's block has been killing me on this fic, so if updates are long in coming, that's the most likely culprit.**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Thank you very much for your patience. Am I really back from my break? I'm not certain yet. I was pretty fried for about a week and would hate to become so again...But I felt a little sad that this poor fic hadn't been updated in such a long time, and my time away at least helped to dispel my writers block. :) Because it's been so long and sometimes when I return to a fic that hasn't been updated in a while I get lost, I'll just give you a quick summary. Last we left the Shamy, Amy was angry at Sheldon, first because he had told her she was to blame for Ricky's anger, and then because he had invited a graduate student to bring their meal and of course dear Julia believed she was going to be on a date with Sheldon. So...assuming I still have readers, lets get to reading. :)**

**Chapter 28**

Sheldon looked at the door for several minutes after Amy's departure, replaying the previous moments in his mind. No matter how many times he replayed the scene, he couldn't figure out just why Amy was so upset.

He frowned as he thought about what Julia had said. Why should Julia be surprised that he was dating Amy? What had she meant by "look at her"? Sheldon pictured Amy in his mind and "looked" at her. She was petite in stature, wore sensible clothing in a multitude of colors (always a good idea)…her hair was straight and comforting in its consistent style…And it also now occurred to him that he liked the particular shade of green of Amy's eyes. There was a certain cardigan, now that he thought about it, which had caused him to take notice of the shade once. Sheldon shook his head, still baffled by what Julia had meant. By all accounts Amy was a sensible person who wore sensible clothing; an admirable trait in any person.

He sighed, his thoughts returning to his current status as "in the proverbial dog house". He replayed the events again in his mind. He was still baffled, but became determined to figure out the cause of Amy's anger. He was a genius. Surely he could figure out something as simple as the root cause of an argument. Perhaps if he started at the beginning…

When he had first opened the door, both Amy and Julia had been looking at each other, and not favorably. Of course, Sheldon assumed Amy had been still upset with him, so he supposed that her initial demeanor was not all that surprising. Sheldon frowned again as he recalled the way Amy had stepped close to him, actually bumping his arm, as Julia had spoken with him. To what end? Amy knew Sheldon did not like to feel crowded, and it was not as if they had been in a crowded public place. There had been plenty of room for Amy to stand farther away…

Sheldon continued to think through the events, moving from one to the other. Amy had become angrier when it was revealed that Sheldon and Julia had had a mix up in their expectations for the evening.

But it wasn't as if he had actually invited Julia over with a meal for the two of _them_. The meal had been solely for he and Amy.

After Julia's departure, Amy had begun her baffling line of questioning regarding the amount of graduate students he had had cater to his every whim. What was wrong with what he had done? Wasn't that was graduate students were for?

Sheldon shook his head yet again, as he pieced together the information he had compiled on the moments in which Amy's anger had seemed to worsen. Based on that data, it could be concluded that Amy Farrah Fowler did not like the fact that he frequently had young, female graduate students do his bidding.

He sighed. Now what? Amy had said she was expecting an apology. For what? For allowing himself to be served by the lowly graduate students? That hardly seemed something worth apologizing for.

Then again, he didn't like the thought of being at odds with his girlfriend either…perhaps there was another solution.

Just then the front door opened, and Leonard peeked his head through. He raised his eyebrows and then walked fully in, seeing that Sheldon was alone. "Where's Amy?"

Sheldon sighed. "She left."

Leonard frowned, looking at Sheldon in concern. "Are you alright? Did you guys make up?"

"No."

"Did you have another fight?"

Sheldon sat up straighter, avoiding Leonard's gaze. "For me to have had a fight with Amy, both of us would have had to have participated. Therefore, I can only say that Amy had a fight."

Leonard paused and then simply said, "Uh huh." He walked over and sat in the chair next to Sheldon. "Do you…want to talk about it?"

Sheldon moved his eyes over to look at Leonard and then looked forward again. "I don't suppose there is anything to talk about. Amy stated that I was in the 'proverbial dog house' and then indicated that I would remain so until I apologized."

Leonard looked over at Sheldon in surprise. "What'd you do? I thought you were supposed to be getting back in her good graces; not making the situation worse."

Sheldon sighed again. "From what I have been able to glean, by replaying the events of the evening in my mind, Amy was unhappy with the fact that I frequently have female graduate students do my bidding."

Leonard slowly nodded his head. "Yeah…I can see how she might not like that."

Sheldon looked over at Leonard in surprise. "Really? Because I am completely baffled."

Leonard shrugged. "Well…yeah. I mean, come on Sheldon, how would you feel if you found out Amy had male graduate students…I don't know…feeding her grapes?"

Sheldon recoiled. "Why on earth would Amy let anyone feed her grapes? Even with a thorough hand and fruit washing, the risks of contamination would be high."

"No…Sheldon…you're missing the point."

"Then what's the point?"

Leonard thought for a moment. "Ok, let me put this in simpler terms. How would you feel if Amy showed romantic interest in another man?"

Sheldon frowned. "I don't like that thought at all."

Leonard looked at Sheldon expectantly. Sheldon stared back. "I fail to see how this illustrates your point."

Leonard put his index finger and thumb on the bridge of his nose. "Forget trying to walk you through this. I'm just going to flat tell you, Amy was jealous."

Sheldon blinked at Leonard, mulling this new information over in his mind. Now that he thought about it, Amy's behavior, when put in the light of jealousy, fit the profile for such an emotion. Sheldon turned to look at Leonard.

"Why should she be jealous? I never indicated that I had any romantic interest in Julia."

Leonard shrugged. "Doesn't matter. No girl likes the thought of her boyfriend cavorting with another attractive woman…especially if that woman is doing everything she can to make the boyfriend happy."

Sheldon wasn't entirely certain that what Leonard made sense. Naturally Sheldon understood the concept, but Amy had no reason to feel jealous. He certainly had given no indication that he was interested in a romantic relationship with Julia. Sheldon sighed. He was now back to his original quandary of how to fix the problem.

Sheldon looked back over at Leonard, who was watching him. "Leonard, you've been in many a lover's quarrel. How do you fix it?"

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "Uh…well, it usually helps if you talk about it."

Sheldon frowned. "Talk about it?"

"Yeah…you know…let her know that you're sorry and you're willing to change."

Sheldon gave Leonard a look he hoped conveyed just what he thought of that idea. "What else?"

Leonard sighed. "I don't know…you could always just buy her something."

Sheldon perked up. As a general rule, he loathed gift giving, but this approach seemed to be right up his alley. If he were to buy a gift which had a monetary value in direct proportion to the level of anger Amy was feeling, then he could entirely avoid having to say he was sorry…out loud…to a person…who was alive.

He looked back at Leonard. "Thank you for the idea. I shall buy Amy a gift which will convey my apology without my having to actually apologize."

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "You're welcome?"

Sheldon got up, and headed for his room. Now to go figure out just what gift would be appropriate for the occasion.

* * *

Sheldon stopped in front of the door to the jewelry store and frowned. Penny pushed open the door and then looked back.

"Come on, Sheldon."

Sheldon looked at Penny. "I don't know about this Penny. When I was buying a gift for you, I merely purchased a variety of supposedly good smelling lotions and soaps. Given that Amy is female and has, unfortunately, become friends with you, thus rendering her more inclined to indulge her 'feminine side', I believe the same gift would suffice for her."

Penny raised her eyebrows and said, "Believe me, you're wrong."

Sheldon gave Penny a look. "I don't believe so. Given the vast difference in our IQ and education, simple probability would lead me to believe that _you_ are the one who is wrong."

Penny waved her hand. "Please, don't think that just because you throw around a few big words, that that means that you're right. Trust me. Amy will appreciate jewelry much more than a basket full of soap. Besides, since you're so set on assigning some sort of monetary value to your, ahem, 'indiscretion', you'd have to buy out the store. This way you can just buy one really expensive thing and then we can go home." Penny's next words were spoken under her breath. "And then you can stop sucking the fun out of a shopping trip."

Sheldon sighed. "Fine." He walked quickly through the door that Penny was holding open, and then stood there, blinking. The store looked much bigger on the inside than the outside view of the building would indicate. He looked around, wondering if the store owner had somehow managed to replicate the technology found in _Doctor Who_ and that the store was indeed bigger on the inside.

Penny grabbed Sheldon by the elbow and dragged him over to the counter. He frowned down at her and opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by the sales representative.

"Well, hello! And how can we help the happy couple today!"

Penny laughed. Sheldon frowned. Her laughter was far too full of mirth. "Excuse me, but what is so funny?"

Penny sucked in a deep breath, likely to calm her laughter. "The thought of actually being your girlfriend." She turned to the sales associate, who was still smiling politely. "We are not a couple."

Sheldon snorted. "Please, you'd consider yourself lucky to have me as your boyfriend."

Penny smiled condescendingly at Sheldon and then looked back at the sales associate. "Definitely not a couple." Sheldon opened his mouth to give Penny a withering retort, but she cut him off, speaking to the sales associate. "But, believe it or not, he does have a girlfriend, and, shocker, he needs a gift to say he's sorry."

"I see. And are we talking a simple-gold-bracelet-sorry? Or diamond-encrusted-necklace-sorry?"

Penny gestured to Sheldon. "You're up, Sweetie." Sheldon gave Penny a look and stepped up to the counter.

* * *

_Knock knock knock_ "Amy."

_Knock knock knock_ "Amy."

_Knock knock knock_ "Amy."

Sheldon waited, carrying a rather large bag which contained many boxes of varying sizes.

After several minutes of waiting, Sheldon began to wonder if Amy was not planning on answering the door. He could hear her moving about inside, so he knew she was there. Perhaps she was even angrier than he thought…

Despite Penny's objections that it wasn't necessary for Sheldon to make so many purchases, after spending over an hour examining his many options, Sheldon had come to the conclusion that it was best to be prepared for any and all eventualities. He would simply give Amy the appropriate gift, and then either keep the others in reserve (although he very much doubted he would need them, he thought perhaps it was best to be prepared), or simply return them. He had rigorously questioned the sales associate about the return policy, so he knew he could return the gifts so long as they remained unopened.

Just as Sheldon was wondering if he would have to slide one small box under the door to get the ball rolling, Amy opened the door. Sheldon immediately found himself feeling somewhat uneasy beneath a gaze he could only describe as "frosty".

He cleared his throat. "May I come in?"

Amy crossed her arms. "Have you come to apologize?"

Sheldon looked at the floor. He supposed that, since his gifts were his means of apologies, saying yes to Amy's question was not really a lie. He was still not convinced that he was in the wrong, but he _was_ sorry that Amy was angry. "Yes."

Amy moved out of the way so that Sheldon could enter her apartment. He walked through and stopped beside her couch as she closed the door. She turned around and looked at him, arms still crossed.

She glanced down at the bag in Sheldon's hand. "What do you have in the bag?"

Sheldon looked down at the bag and then back at Amy. "Before I answer the question, I would like to pose one."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "Very well."

"To what degree are you angry?"

In her surprise Amy dropped her arms. "What?"

"If you had to assign a monetary value to your anger, what would it equal?"

Amy blinked at Sheldon, but did not answer him. He blinked at her in return, wondering if he should blindly dive into the bag. Perhaps he would start with the cheapest of the gifts.

"I would say at least one thousand dollars."

Sheldon's hands grew clammy, and he felt a strange swooping sensation in the pit of his stomach, as he realized that the most expensive gift he had purchased was only $750. He did a quick run through of the gifts in order to locate the gift which had been $250, so that he could give both of the gifts. But then he realized that he only had a gift which equaled $200. He ran through the tally again to locate the $50 gift. Except that he didn't have a $50 gift! He had started a $25 gift, but then had foolishly leapt up to $100! He began his calculations again, now using his finger to write down the calculations in the air.

After several more moments, Sheldon's calculations were interrupted by Amy.

"Sheldon?"

Sheldon kept his finger in the air, trying not to lose his place as he quickly looked over at Amy, who had again crossed her arms, but was also looking slightly less severe.

"Yes?"

"Are you going to apologize or not?"

In his moment of panic, Sheldon dropped his finger and opened his mouth to respond. But as soon as he realized what he had done, he turned his head back to the empty air, exclaiming "No! Now I have to start all over!"

"Sheldon."

Sheldon didn't look back at Amy as he began running through the gifts in the air again, merely replying. "In a moment."

Amy was silent for several moments before Sheldon heard her say, louder, "Sheldon."

Sheldon was now furiously moving his finger around, adding up numbers and moving invisible gifts around in order to find a set which equaled $1000. "Please, Amy. Give me one moment."

Amy was silent for only a single second before saying very loudly. "Sheldon!"

Sheldon paused and glanced over at Amy again.

"Either you apologize now, or you leave!" She pointed at the door.

Sheldon sighed, putting down his finger. "Fine."

Amy put both hands at her side and looked at Sheldon with a blank expression, apparently waiting.

Sheldon took a deep breath, and then reached into the bag and pulled out a box. He swallowed and gave it to Amy.

As she took it in her hand, Amy rolled her eyes. "I am not going to accept jewelry in place of an apology Shel-" But then she gasped as she opened the box, and then squealed, rather loudly.

Sheldon stared. He had never heard Amy squeal. He had not known she was capable of making such a decidedly feminine sound.

Sheldon cleared his throat. "I realize this will not be enough, as it does not meet the monetary value you specified matched your anger-"

"Shut up and put this on me!" Amy exclaimed. She was now holding up the tiara she had pulled from the box and was hopping up and down.

Sheldon stood there in shock. He had never witnessed Amy like this before.

Amy shoved the tiara in his hands and then stood very close to him, looking at his chest. He looked down at the crown of her head, rolled his eyes, and set the tiara on top. Amy squealed again and then ran away to her room.

Sheldon stood rooted to his spot, uncertain of the protocol he should follow. Was he now out of the proverbial dog house? He had not met the monetary value set by Amy, but she had seemed very happy upon receiving the tiara.

Amy walked back into the room, an enormous smile on her face, walking slightly on her tip toes, arms held away from her body.

She looked up at Sheldon, and widened her grin. Sheldon felt his stomach flip and his breath hitch. He swallowed. "I see you like your gift."

Amy merely nodded, still grinning.

Sheldon cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable. "Am I to take your grinning to mean that you are no longer angry with me?"

Amy nodded again.

Sheldon exhaled in relief. "Then perhaps I shall take my leave."

Amy's smile died. "Really? Are you sure you don't want to stay for a yoohoo? Or if you like I could make you some Strawberry Quik." Her eyes glanced down at the bag in Sheldon's hand. "That bag seems disproportionately large for the size box you pulled out. What else is in it?"

"More gifts-" But before Sheldon could finish his sentence (in which he would have explained he would be returning them all) Amy cut him off with a gasp.

"Really?"

Before Sheldon could stop her, Amy grabbed the bag from him and gasped when she looked inside. She walked quickly over to her couch and began pulling out box after box, exclaiming at each one and begging Sheldon to put each item on. He tried to explain that he was going to return them, but each time, Amy either didn't hear him, or he simply found himself inexplicably unable to say no to her grin.

After roughly thirty minutes, all the boxes were littering Amy's floor and she was again in her bedroom, presumably looking at herself in the mirror.

She walked out, now a glittering specimen, wearing a diamond tiara, emerald clip-on earrings, a gold ring, a silver ring, an emerald ring, an emerald necklace, a diamond necklace, a ruby necklace, a gold necklace, a silver necklace, a gold _and_ silver necklace, an emerald bracelet, a diamond bracelet, a ruby bracelet, a bracelet which altered between diamonds and onyx, a charm bracelet complete with a diamond encrusted monkey charm, and three different emerald colored pins, none of which contained real jewels, but which had still cost more than Sheldon would liked to have paid.

Sheldon sighed as he looked at her. He would not be able to return any of the gifts…this was making quite a dent in his emergency fund…And yet, surprisingly, as Sheldon looked at Amy grinning so widely at him, he found he wasn't that worried about the monetary set back. Instead, he found himself smiling back at her and thinking about how her eyes sparkled almost as much as the emeralds she was wearing.

And then he frowned at himself in surprise that such a poetic thought had entered his mind. Sheldon eyed Amy, who had out a hand mirror, her back to him, once again wondering what this vixen had done to him. He had now managed to spend a tremendous amount of money in order to get back into her good graces, (something he had never in his life done) and rather than feel put out by the loss of funds, had instead begun waxing poetic about the shade of her eyes.

Sheldon abruptly stood up and cleared his throat. "I believe I shall now go back home. Leonard will no doubt be wondering why I am taking so long…assuming he hasn't left me already…although he knows to do such a thing would result in a strike and he already has two-" Sheldon was cut off in surprise by Amy as she walked quickly over to him, stood on her tip toes, and kissed him full on the mouth.

But this wasn't like their previous kisses of the past few months...Their previous kisses had been very quick affairs. Sheldon supposed one could almost call them casual displays of affection. But this could not be called a casual display of affection. Amy wrapped both arms around his neck and kept her mouth pressed to his much longer than the usually 1.4 seconds their average kiss lasted. And without being fully conscious of his own actions, Sheldon wrapped his arms around Amy's waist and closed his eyes.

When Amy pulled back and grinned at Sheldon, (after no less than 15 seconds of kissing) he found himself unable to form a sentence, merely blinking at her face, which was still mere inches from his own.

"Thank you for the gifts," she said softly.

Sheldon swallowed, dropping his hands from around Amy's waist and taking a step back. "You're welcome." He inwardly cursed his cracking voice.

Without another word, he nodded at Amy and walked out the door, in a haze of confusion regarding his current emotions.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Man, time flies right by. I can't believe it's been 2 weeks already. Well, thank you as always for the lovely reviews. :)**

**Chapter 29**

Sheldon stood in front of his whiteboard, staring at the equations in front of him. He had been standing, unmoving, for most of the morning. He had yet to make a mark on the board, but he could feel himself close to figuring something out. He loved that feeling; the one he only got right before a discovery. It was as if his subconscious mind already knew the answer and was urging his conscious mind forward.

He narrowed his eyes, his brain now working furiously, trying to picture the particles in his mind. As he did so, he looked down at the left corner of the board, where he had tried yesterday to draw a picture of his current puzzle. There were a myriad of green and red dots, each representing a different type of particle. He frowned at the picture when suddenly his mind emptied of the equations he had been about to figure out, and the dots on the page suddenly became rubies and emeralds, decorating the delicate, pale skin of Amy's neckline…

Sheldon jerked his head up and closed his eyes. He sighed loudly, that was the seventh time this week…and it was only Tuesday.

Sheldon walked around to his desk chair, unceremoniously falling into it while also jerking open the drawer which contained his Red Vines. He plucked out three, setting two on a napkin on his desk and taking a large bite out of the third.

As he chewed, he sighed again. He had been so close to answers! Why had his mind betrayed him at just that moment? He looked over at the board, but already knew that whatever discovery he had been about to make would not be achieved this morning.

He looked down at his desk, not really seeing it. The night in which Sheldon had inadvertently given Amy the contents of at least one third of a jewelry store had been nearly three weeks ago. And yet, ever since then, Sheldon had found himself thinking of Amy at inappropriate times. Like now, for example. He was supposed to be pondering the mysteries of the universe, not the jewelry on Amy's neck.

He had seen Amy several times in the interim, (not counting their nightly Skype chats) and each time had been a disaster.

Not that Amy was aware of these disasters. Nothing of note had happened which would cause Amy, or any other outside observer, to know that these encounters had been disastrous, but Sheldon had had to work very hard to keep it that way. It seemed that now any time Sheldon was in the physical presence of his girlfriend (and on occasion when they were chatting) he would find himself with the sudden desire to engage in some form of physical affection. It was completely baffling, and highly frustrating.

For example, one time, while Amy was regaling Sheldon with the tale of her bad day, he had found himself with the inexplicable urge to grab her hand. She had been waving it around as she complained about mice who kept biting her, and when she held it out to show him the several Bandaids on her fingers, he had had to squeeze his hand into a fist to resist the urge to grab hers. He had quickly said, "Yes, it looks awful," and then had quickly gotten up to go get a glass of water.

Another time, while on one of their dates, Amy was telling an amusing story during their dinner. When she had first started talking, Sheldon's eyes had been either on his own dinner, or on Amy's eyes, as was proper for dinner conversation. But during one such occasion when Sheldon glanced up at Amy's eyes, she put a bite in her mouth, leaving a little sauce on her lips which she then licked off. Sheldon had almost immediately noticed an increase in his heart rate and had found it very difficult to keep his eyes on Amy's eyes, rather than on her mouth. No matter how hard he had tried hard to pay attention to what Amy was saying, he had instead found himself mentally reliving their fifteen second kiss.

Sheldon took another large bite from his red vine, eyes narrowing. That kiss was the cause of all of this. Prior to Amy practically assaulting him, (Yes! Assaulting him!) he had never in his life had the urge to touch another human being. In fact, the only reason he allowed Amy to kiss him was because he was contractually bound…naturally…

Out of nowhere, the hazy memory of the time he had drunkenly kissed Amy popped into his head.

Sheldon started squirming in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable, but not sure of the cause.

Wait. Yes. He was sure. It was because of that kiss. No, not his drunken kiss (He had been drunk. Of course his actions at that time could not be taken seriously…). The kiss which had happened a few weeks prior was the cause.

He looked down at the Red Vines on his desk.

That kiss…on Amy's red lips…like Red Vines…

Sheldon gasped, grabbing the two Red Vines and throwing them into his garbage can. This had to stop! He absolutely refused to spend his valuable time daydreaming about necklines, hands, and lips! But how could he make it stop?

He was beginning to wonder if even he could.

* * *

Sheldon waited in his room for the phone to ring. It was time for his bi-weekly phone call with Missy. He wondered just how late she would be calling this time.

He glanced at his watch and sighed. Her call was now a full five minutes late.

He tapped his fingers on his leg, getting more irritated with each passing moment.

When the phone finally did ring, Sheldon grabbed it, confirmed that it was Missy, and then answered it.

"What is the point of having a set time to call when you fail to adhere to it every single time?"

"Well hello to you too," Missy said. "What's got your panties in a bunch?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I don't wear panties. Panties are for women."

"It's an expression, you nut."

"I resent being called a nut."

"You resent everything."

"I resent that you think I resent everything. Not the least of which is because it is a complete fallacy. There are plenty of things I don't resent. Like punctuality for example."

Sheldon heard Missy sighed. "For pete's sake Shelly, if you want to start the conversation on the nose, then why don't you call me instead of the other way around?"

Sheldon snorted. "This whole bi-weekly conversation was your idea to begin with, so why would I be the one to call you?"

"Actually, Mr. Know-It-All, _my_ idea was to call each other every once in a while. You were the one who wanted consistency."

"That's because consistency is a good thing. It's orderly. That way, I can plan my day around our conversations…which is difficult to do when the person refuses to comply with the timing of said conversations."

"Good Lord. Fine. I'm sorry I called late. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Sheldon cleared his throat. "Yes. Apology accepted…even if, based on your tone of voice, I'm not entirely convinced it was sincere."

"Oh it was sincere." She was using that sickly sweet voice again, which Sheldon knew meant she was most definitely not being sincere.

"Now do you want to spend all our time arguing, or do you want to actually have a conversation."

"I'm not the one arguing."

"Shelly!"

Sheldon rolled his eyes again. "Fine. How was your day?"

"My day was just fine, but let's hear about how things are going with you."

Sheldon frowned, confused. "Why are you interested in my day?"

"Oh, it doesn't have to be _just_ today. I mean, we could talk about anything."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. Missy had that tone in her voice; the one he had come to associate with her gossiping about and/or making fun of him.

"I don't have anything to talk about."

Sheldon heard Missy "hmm" and then say, "Oh really? Then what's this I hear about you being weird around Amy?"

Sheldon frowned again. "I have not been weird around Amy…and where on earth did you get that from?"

"Why from Amy, of course." If Sheldon were to take a guess, he'd guess that Missy were smiling at the moment. He hated when she did that.

"Amy said I was being weird?"

"Oh well…you know how ya'll talk. She said you were being different or something."

Sheldon sighed. "And you took that to mean that I was being, quote, weird?"

Missy chuckled. "Of course, silly. What else would it mean?"

"That could mean anything. Why didn't you clarify?"

"Oh I did."

Sheldon blinked. "What?" What had Amy told Missy…he hated this new relationship Missy and Amy had. It was not beneficial to him in any way, whatsoever. "Well what did she say?"

"Oh now I can't tell you that. That'd be breaking my girl's confidence."

"Your girl?...Her confidence?" This was getting frustrating. Missy was making no sense. He hated when she did that. He was seriously thinking about reconsidering these bi-weekly telephone conversations.

"Well, duh. I can't exactly go blabbing everything Amy tells me about you, now can I? What kind of a friend would I be?"

Sheldon choked. "Just what does Amy tell you about me? What is going on? How am I being weird? I demand answers!"

Sheldon heard Missy chuckle and then tsk. "Now Shelly, what have I told you about making demands to me?"

Sheldon sighed. "You said not to make them."

"That's right." Missy sighed. "But since I love my brother so much and can't stand to hear him upset," Sheldon rolled his eyes. "She just mentioned that you seemed uncomfortable around her…I assume she meant, more than your usual amount of uncomfortableness."

Sheldon took in the information and began pondering it. "Uncomfortableness isn't a word. The correct term discomfort," he said absentmindedly.

Was it possible that he had not been as adept at hiding his struggles as he had thought? He frowned. Impossible. He excelled at everything…except driving. But he was simply too evolved to drive, so that didn't count.

Missy's voice interrupted his thoughts. "You seem awful quiet over there."

Sheldon looked around the room. "I have nothing to say."

"You mean to tell me that you have nothing to say to the fact that Amy thinks you've been uncomfortable?"

"That is correct."

"You're not even going to tell me it's not true?"

Drat. That obviously would have been the thing to do…except of course that he knew that it was a fallacy, and that Missy always knew when he lied.

On second thought, pleading the fifth, as it were, was definitely the way to go.

"Well, well, well," Missy said. "It seems something is going on with our little Shelly Bean. So tell me…no wait. I wanna guess."

Sheldon pressed his lips together in irritation.

"Let's see…I'm going to go with…you can't stop thinking about kissing Amy."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. How on earth did she guess?

"The fact that you haven't answered makes me think I'm right."

"I think we should change the subject, as this one is not one I wish to discuss. Perhaps we should go back to you. Have you managed to find a better job than a hostess at Fudruckers? I know that you value loyalty, but really, haven't you worked there long enough? Unless of course, you life's goal is to be a hostess, in which case, good job. Speaking of which, we haven't ever discussed your life's goals. If your life's goal really is to be a hostess, then perhaps we should have a conversation on why that is not an appropriate goal and how you could lead a more fulfilling life by going to college and getting a degree of some value, unlike the bachelor's degree in English you currently have."

"I believe we have a winner."

"Great. So what is your life's goal?"

"That's not what I was talking about."

Sheldon swallowed. "Fine, we can talk about something else. You can ask me how my job is going, for example."

Missy started laughing. "Oh my word, you are positively in a tizzy."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I am not in a tizzy. I just think your chosen topic of conversation isn't a good use of our allotted twenty minutes of banal chit chat."

"Oh, now that's where we disagree. I think this is the perfect conversation."

"Then we have reached an impasse. Perhaps we should just end the conversation now."

Missy chuckled again. "Alright fine. I'll let you go. I have to go get a pedicure anyway."

Sheldon frowned. "It's nearly seven in the evening. And that's not to mention the risk of contracting a fungus from those completely unsanitary tubs they stick your feet in. Really Missy, I must insist, for the safety of your own feet, that you not do such a reckless thing."

"Whatever you say, Shelly." Sheldon frowned, knowing that whenever Missy used that phrase, she was going to do the exact opposite of what he had said.

He sighed. "Well, don't say I didn't warn you when you contract a fungus and your toenails turn yellow."

"Alright, I'll remember that. Now Shelly, before we get off the phone, Mama wanted me to let you know that we're having a big birthday party for Meemaw this year."

Sheldon nodded. "That would make sense, since she is going to be turning 80 this year. I'll mail her a card."

Missy snorted. "No you dolt. She wanted me to tell you that you have to come. And she wants you to bring Amy with you."

Sheldon frowned. "I don't like parties…although since it's Meemaw, I can make an exception."

And actually, it had been a long time since he had seen Meemaw. It might be nice to visit her.

"But why am I supposed to bring Amy?"

"Meemaw wants to see her. She hasn't seen her since we were seven, and she's ever so excited that her Moonpie has a girlfriend." Sheldon wasn't good with sarcasm, but it seemed to him that the tone of voice Missy was using was dripping with it.

"Won't that be a little awkward for you?" Sheldon asked.

"Why would it be awkward for me?"

"Well, because I will have a girlfriend, but you won't have a boyfriend."

"Oh, I will have a boyfriend there."

"I'm confused. Do you plan to procure a boyfriend prior to the party?"

"No, silly, Raj is coming."

Sheldon choked for the second time that night. "I beg your pardon? Raj is not your boyfriend."

"I think I know whether or not I have a boyfriend."

"But you two don't even live in the same state?"

"Well, thank you for clearing that up, Mr. Obvious."

"But you haven't even talked to him since you left!"

"What gave you that idea? We've been talking or texting every day since I left."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "How come neither of you has said anything?"

"Because it's none of your business who I date."

"I reject that."

"You can reject all you want, but you've always thought you were Daddy when it came to me and my boyfriends."

"That's absurd."

"Oh really? Who was it who was 'forbidding' me from dating Raj?"

Sheldon paused. "That's different. I wasn't trying to emulate our father. I was merely expressing my discomfort at having my friend date my sister. It's a perfectly natural response, I might add."

"Well, natural or not, it's still none of your business."

Sheldon started to respond, but Missy interrupted him. "But that's neither here, nor there. Raj is coming, and so are you. And Amy if she wants to, which I hope she does, because Meemaw really does want to see her. You wouldn't want to disappoint Meemaw now would you?"

Drat. Missy knew he wouldn't do anything to disappoint Meemaw.

He sighed. "Fine. I'll ask her. But if I were her, I wouldn't want to go to some old woman's party…especially not in another state."

"Well, luckily for us, Amy isn't you."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "If that is all, then I must alert you to the fact that our time is up."

Missy spoke in her overly sweet voice again. "It's always fun catching up with you, Shelly."

"I'm afraid I can't say the same. Especially not today."

"That's nice. Well, I guess I should say bye then."

"Good-bye."

"Oh and Shelly?"

"Yes?"

"Just kiss Amy."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes and hit end.

**A/N: Regarding the phrase "plead the fifth" (for those outside the US): The fifth amendment of the US Constitution protects a person from having to incriminate themselves. If they don't want to answer a question in court, they simply say "I plead the fifth". It's now a phrase used in every day conversation to mean that you don't want to answer a question (usually because it's true. ;)). Anyway, Thanks for reading! :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

*_Knock knock knock* _"Amy."

*_Knock knock knock* _"Amy."

*_Knock knock knock* _"Amy."

Sheldon stood, holding a folder in his hand, waiting for Amy to open the door. Tonight was their date night, and, much to Sheldon's chagrin, Amy had insisted that she prepare dinner for him.

Given that it was her turn to choose the venue for their date night, he had had little choice but to comply. However, the very last place he wished to be was in close quarters with the vixen.

Amy opened the door and smiled at him. "Hello, Sheldon."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes in response. "What on earth do you have on?"

Amy looked down at herself. She was not wearing anything new. "This isn't new." She looked up confused. "You have an eidetic memory, you should know that."

Sheldon shook his head. "No. I don't mean your clothes. I mean that." He pointed at Amy's lips. The vixen had some sort of shimmery, shiny, liquidy _stuff_ on her lips that made them shine as if she had just licked them. He hated it. All it did was draw attention to her lips. He _really_ hated it.

Sheldon balled his hands into fists, ignoring the urge to stare.

Comprehension dawned on Amy's face and she chuckled. "Oh that. I forgot I even had it on. Penny, Bernadette, and I went to the mall today. We tried on lip glosses. Apparently this particular one is marketed to women who are frequently kissing and don't wish to constantly reapply the lip gloss." Sheldon froze at the mention of kissing.

Amy gestured for him to come in. "Please, come in. May I offer you a beverage?"

Sheldon mentally shook himself and walked past Amy, freezing again and pressing his lips together in irritation. "I believe you also frequented the perfume counter."

Amy shut the door and walked over to the kitchen, leaving an alluringly wonderful scent in her wake. It even managed to overpower whatever delicious meal she seemed to be cooking.

"Oh, yes. Penny and Bernadette insisted on stopping by the counter. They talked me into purchasing a tiny bottle of inappropriately priced perfume." Sheldon heard her opening cabinets as she talked, while he remained rooted to the spot furiously exhaling through his nose, trying to rid it of the intoxicating scent. Amy peeked her head around. "Do you enjoy the scent?"

_It smells wonderful._ "I hate it."

_Just kiss Amy._

Missy's words popped into Sheldon's head, taunting him. He swallowed and looked around the room. His eyes fell upon his childhood Mr. Spock action figure. Sheldon could feel the tiny Spock judging him from where he stood next to the desk lamp.

"You hate it?"

Sheldon looked over to see Amy walking over with a glass in her hand, an expression of surprise on her face. She handed him the glass. It was Yoo-hoo. He had not asked for Yoo-hoo, and yet she had somehow known that was exactly what he wanted.

"Yes." He thrust the glass back into her hand. "I don't want Yoo-Hoo."

Amy frowned. "You always want Yoo-Hoo."

Sheldon kept his hand out. "Yes. And today I don't."

Amy frowned, taking the glass. "Is something the matter?"

Sheldon averted his eyes. He knew he would never be able to outright lie, so now was the time for evasion. "What could possibly be the matter?"

Amy cocked her head to the side. "That was my question for you."

"Yes…and by way of response I repeated the question."

"Sheldon, what's going on?"

Sheldon looked away, his eyes landing on Mr. Spock again. The tiny action figure had one of his hands up, and was pointing right at him. Sheldon again felt the judgment emanating from his favorite _Star Trek_ character.

Then a peculiar thought entered his mind. In the newest version of _Star Trek_ Mr. Spock had allowed Uhura to kiss him. He remembered that Amy had said she preferred this new Mr. Spock.

Sheldon blinked at the thought.

But Mr. Spock had not kissed Uhura. She had kissed him. As Sheldon had been allowing Amy to do for months. Ergo, Mr. Spock would still judge Sheldon if he gave in to his baser urges.

Sheldon could practically see Missy rolling her eyes in his mind. He ignored her.

"Sheldon?"

He looked back at Amy, who was looking at him with concern.

"Something is bothering you," she said.

Sheldon walked over towards the couch and sat down. "Nothing is bothering me." His left eye started twitching.

Amy walked into the kitchen to set his discarded glass of Yoo-hoo on the counter.

"Are you sure? Because you've been acting peculiar for several weeks now." She walked over and sat down next to Sheldon. He could see her lips shining and smell her perfume. Perhaps the couch had not been the best place to sit.

Sheldon averted his eyes and started breathing through his mouth. "I don't know what you mean. I have not been acting any differently than I usually do."

Sheldon thrust out the folder in his hand. "Here."

Amy took it. "What's this?"

"The formal letter of notice that your presence will be required at Meemaw's eightieth birthday celebration."

Amy opened it up to read and then looked up and smiled at Sheldon. He pressed his lips together at the funny, swooping sensation in his stomach and looked away.

"I look forward to seeing Meemaw again. It's been so many years, and I want to thank her."

Sheldon looked back at Amy, confused. "Thank her for what?"

Amy raised her eyebrows. "If it wasn't for Meemaw, we would never have remained in touch. It was her idea, after all, that we write each other letters."

Sheldon blinked at Amy, pondering. She was correct. It had been Meemaw's idea. Interesting.

"This comes at the perfect time, as well," Amy said.

Sheldon frowned, confused. "How so?"

Amy reached over to the coffee table to grab a folder and hand it to Sheldon. He took it, his heart hammering for some reason unbeknownst to him. When he opened it up, he stared, not quite able to comprehend what it said.

_This letter is a formal request for negotiation of further physical contact seventy-two hours from the time this letter is read._

Sheldon looked up. "What's this?"

"I should think that is obvious. Per our Relationship Agreement, I am providing you with the seventy-two hour notice of impending negotiation for physical contact."

This was a nightmare. The very last thing Sheldon wanted to do was add additional contact with Amy Farrah Fowler. Wasn't kissing enough?

"Why do you wish to negotiate further contact? I would think that kissing me would be sufficient."

Amy shrugged. "There are times when I would like to do something else besides kiss you. And really, I think we have been working backwards. Kissing is usually reserved for after other types of physical contact have been addressed."

"Such as?" Sheldon felt his panic rising, his heart hammering furiously.

Amy shook her head, looking serious. "I can't tell you, otherwise you would have an unfair advantage in our negotiations."

Sheldon scoffed. "Ridiculous. You are the one with the unfair advantage. You know what the topic is to be about. How can I prepare my remarks when I don't know what I'll be negotiating?"

Amy considered this for a moment. "Fair enough. I wish to negotiate hand holding."

Sheldon felt his stomach drop. Holding Amy's hand? Given his current near inability to control his baser urges, Sheldon had no wish to add closer proximity, via hand holding, to their relationship.

"But why should you wish to hold my hand? The only thing hand holding is good for, aside from shaking it when Nobel Prizes have been awarded, is the transference of germs from one party to the next."

"As I said, I wish to catch our relationship up. We have been kissing and yet we never hold hands. By all accounts that is a very backwards way to work a relationship. And the timing of this will work out, because when we go visit your family we can look like a real couple."

Sheldon looked at Amy in alarm. "You seem very sure that you will win the negotiations. How do you know I won't be able to foil your plan and keep us from hand holding?"

Amy gave him a look. "Sheldon, you and I both know that the only thing which will be negotiated is the frequency and duration, not whether or not it will occur."

"I object."

"To what?"

"To your assumption that you will win the negotiations."

Amy stood up and walked back into the kitchen. "Sheldon, there are no winners in our negotiations. Negotiation is the compromise of two parties until they reach a mutually agreeable decision. One way to look at it is that we both win."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "Another way to look at it is that we both lose."

Amy grabbed pot holders and grabbed a pot which had been boiling on the stove, bringing it over to the sink. "Why would we both lose?"

"Because neither one of us would be getting what we initially wanted."

Amy rolled her eyes as she started to drain the pot. "Sheldon-"

She gasped and dropped the pot. "Ouch!" Sheldon watched in horror as Amy started waving her hand around.

He quickly rushed over. "Amy! Are you ok? What happened?" His eyes widened at the mess of spaghetti noodles in the sink and Amy's now red hand.

Amy turned on the water and put her hand underneath. "The handle slipped and I spilled boiling hot water on my hand."

Sheldon gasped and grabbed Amy's wrist without thinking. "You can't do that. We have to examine it first to see what potential degree burn it is."

Amy looked up at Sheldon as he turned off the water and quickly examined her hand. "Oh yes, I forgot about the _Boo Boos and Ouchies_ clause of the agreement."

Sheldon paused in his examination. He had entirely forgotten about that. He cleared his throat. "Yes." He glanced over at Amy, who had an expression of pain in her face, and then went back to his examination of her hand.

"Sheldon, I need to get it under cold water. It is burning."

Sheldon ignored Amy's plea, carefully flipping her hand around to look at her palm. It seemed to have been spared. He carefully placed her hand in his left upturned hand, so that their palms were touching, as he leaned down further to look at the top of her hand. The water appeared to have covered most of the hand, but didn't appear to have scalded any worse than first degree, likely due to her initial response to put her hand under cold water.

Sheldon stood up straight and looked back at Amy. She was biting her lip and watching him. He swallowed at the swooping sensation in his stomach as he watched her shimmery lips and inhaled her intoxicating perfume. He suddenly became aware that he had Amy's hand in his and quickly let go, turning on the water and testing it until it was approximately room temperature.

"Put your hand under there."

Amy complied and then frowned. "It's not very cold."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "I am surprised that you don't already know that the best way to remove the heat from a burn is to use room temperature, or lukewarm, water. If you use cold water, then the blood will immediately rush back to warm up your hand and make the burn more painful."

Sheldon walked away from his close proximity to Amy and over to his messenger bag. He always kept an emergency first aid kit inside. He pulled it out and located the burn cream and gauze, setting them both on the coffee table.

Steeling himself for further contact with Amy, he walked back over, reaching around her to turn off the water. He grabbed a dry dish towel and grabbed Amy's wrist. Keeping his eyes down on her hand, he carefully patted it dry. He took care to dry between her fingers, as he did not wish the skin to prune underneath the bandage.

When he finished drying her hand, Sheldon let it go and walked over to the couch. He turned around to allow Amy to get by him, only to find that she was still in the kitchen, staring at him with her hand still in the air.

He cleared his throat again. "Please have a seat so that I can apply burn cream and wrap your hand in protective bandaging."

Amy nodded wordlessly, putting her hand at her side and walking over to sit on the couch. Sheldon sat next to her, grabbing the burn cream, putting some on his fingers, and then holding out his hand, palm up. He swallowed again as Amy placed her hand on top of his.

He started dabbing the cream in places and then, using his middle three fingers, he began to carefully rub the ointment over her skin. He clenched his jaw, hating himself for noting the softness of her skin. He was tempted to start moving his fingers faster, but he was too worried that he would inadvertently hurt Amy. Instead, he clenched his jaw harder.

When the ointment was sufficiently covering the burn, Sheldon grabbed the gauze and carefully wrapped it around Amy's hand until all parts of the burn were covered. He fastened the gauze and then continued to hold up Amy's hand while he inspected the work.

Before he knew it was happening, Amy curled her fingers around his open palm. Sheldon looked up sharply and jerked his hand backwards instinctively.

He immediately grabbed the first aid supplies and stood up, walking two steps over to his messenger bag to return them back to where they belonged. He glanced at Amy to find her looking at him with her head cocked to the side.

He looked around, eyes landing once again on the Mr. Spock action figure.

"I believe we shall now need to go out for dinner."

He looked at Amy. She raised her eyebrows, head still cocked, and said, "You're probably right."

Sheldon raised his messenger bag over his head and walked to the door. Amy stayed on the couch for a moment and Sheldon could see her still looking at him through the corner of his eye. Then she got up and said, "Let me get my purse."

As Sheldon waited, he pondered his upcoming hand holding negotiation. He could only think one thing. _In seventy-two hours, I will meet my doom._

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading! :)**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Hello Again! Thanks for returning and SO SORRY it took me so long...can you believe I've been writing this story for nearly 6 months!? Crazy...So to bring up back up to speed, last we left them, Sheldon has been struggling with fantasizing about Amy, Amy has requested negotiations for hand holding, and Sheldon, Amy, and Raj are going to be going to Texas for Meemaw's 80th birthday party. Please enjoy. :)**

**Chapter 31**

After Amy dropped Sheldon off, he walked up the stairs to his apartment, worrying about the negotiations three days hence. What was it about Amy that made him forget his desire to remain dedicated to science and free of romantic hassles? And what was he going to do about the hand holding? He supposed that hand holding was less invasive than kissing (which Amy had very thankfully not requested at the end of their date), and yet the very thought of engaging in frequent hand holding made his palms start sweating.

Sheldon reached his apartment and unlocked the door. As he walked in, there was a flurry of activity on the couch. He stood in the doorway looking at Leonard and Penny. Leonard's glasses were askew and part of Penny's hair had come loose from her ponytail.

"What are you two doing?"

"Nothing!" Penny said, her voice an octave higher than usual.

"The fact that your tone is an octave higher would suggest that you are lying."

Leonard looked at Penny. "We should just tell him."

"No!" Penny gave Sheldon a side glance, and turned to Leonard. "You know what we talked about…"

Leonard glanced over at Sheldon, who was now putting his messenger bag on his desk, quickly losing interest in whatever Leonard and Penny were up to. "I know…but it's been a couple of weeks. I think it might be ok to start telling people."

Penny's voice got lower, but unfortunately not low enough that Sheldon couldn't hear it. "But I don't want to ruin what we have going on here."

"I don't want to ruin it either, but we have to tell people sometime…Please?"

Sheldon heard Penny sigh as he started walking towards the bathroom. "Fine." She raised her voice. "Sheldon."

Sheldon stopped, sighed and then turned around. "Yes?"

"Leonard and I have some news."

"Does this news explain why your hair is messed up and Leonard's glasses were askew?"

"Yes." Penny looked back over at Leonard and grinned. "We um…well...Leonard and I are back together!"

Both Leonard and Penny gave Sheldon an expectant look. He frowned and turned to Leonard. "Are you sure that's wise? I hope you haven't forgotten how Penny quote, unquote, ripped your heart out and stomped on it."

Leonard cleared his throat. "Sheldon…it's fine. I'm over that. Penny and I talked about it and we decided to start dating again a few weeks ago. And it's been great." He smiled at Penny.

Sheldon paused and then nodded. "Very well. In that case, I call an emergency roommate meeting."

Leonard sighed. "A what?"

"An emergency roommate meeting. We have several things to discuss." Sheldon gestured towards Penny. "You can show yourself out."

Penny rolled her eyes and Leonard said, "Sheldon, can't this wait?"

Sheldon shook his head. "No. If you are dating Penny again then we need to reinstate the Penny specific part of the roommate agreement."

Leonard closed his eyes and put his thumb and index finger on the bridge of his nose. "Can't I just say I agree to it all and forget about the emergency roommate meeting?"

Sheldon shook his head. "That would not be wise Leonard. You know you're not supposed to sign anything without reading it through first…" Sheldon paused for a moment, considering his next statement. "And there is something I wish to discuss with you as well that is unrelated to your ill advised relationship with Penny."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Alright, I'm leaving." She turned to Leonard. "He's right you know. You've been burned on that Roommate Agreement for years. Maybe this time you could pay more attention and not screw yourself over." She kissed him quickly on the lips and then headed out the door.

Leonard sighed as the door closed and went to sit in the chair. Sheldon brought his lap top over to the couch and sat down in his spot.

"Alright," Leonard said. "Let's get this over with."

Sheldon paused, unsure if he was making the right decision. After all, Leonard could hardly be considered a Casanova…and his first relationship with Penny had crashed and burned, as they say…still, Leonard was his friend…

"Sheldon? Did you hear me? I don't want to sit here all night. Let's get this over."

Sheldon took a deep breath and then closed his lap top. "Before we get to the roommate agreement, I have a…quandary and was wondering if you could help me figure it out…"

Leonard frowned. "Ok…what's up?"

Sheldon began fiddling with his hands. "Well…of late I have found myself frequently unable to control my thoughts regarding Amy…"

Leonard was silent for a moment before saying, "Ok...what do you mean by 'unable to control your thoughts?'"

Sheldon cleared his throat. "Well, for example when I'm trying to work, out of nowhere I think of Amy…one time my red vines turned into Amy's lips. I discarded them immediately."

Sheldon glanced at Leonard, who's eyebrows were now nearly to his hairline. "Have you been fantasizing about kissing Amy?"

Sheldon sighed. "Yes."

Leonard looked at Sheldon for a moment. "So what's the problem? It's not like you two don't kiss, right?"

"The problem, Leonard, is that Amy always kisses me. Up to this point I have allowed it because Amy is a brilliant negotiator and somehow managed to introduce the habit into our Relationship Agreement."

Leonard shook his head slightly. "I'm confused. Do you not like when Amy kisses you?"

Sheldon swallowed. "Amy's kissing is quite satisfactory…"

"You didn't answer the question."

Perhaps talking to Leonard was a bad idea.

"It's a simple question, Sheldon."

Sheldon sighed. "Fine. I…have had no complaints to Amy's kissing requests."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "So you like it when Amy kisses you."

Sheldon frowned. "Isn't that just what I said?"

Leonard shook his head. "Never mind…so…what exactly is your problem then? It sounds like you like kissing Amy."

Sheldon shook his head and held up his index finger. "Wrong. I don't kiss Amy. Amy kisses me."

"Ok, fine. You like Amy kissing you…but I still don't see what the big deal is. What difference does it make if you want to kiss Amy? You've been kissing each other," Sheldon gave Leonard a look. "Fine, she's been kissing you for a few months now. You kissing her wouldn't be a big deal. She might not even notice the difference."

"Whether Amy notices or not is not what I'm concerned about."

Leonard frowned. "Then what are you concerned about?"

Sheldon wasn't good at examining his feelings. He preferred facts to feelings. Feelings were hard to quantify. Facts were…well…facts. Irrefutable. Logical.

"My concern is my distraction. It would seem that the longer I engage in this relationship, the less my mind focuses on work. How will I ever be able to secure a Nobel Prize when every time I see particles on my board they turn in to jewels around Amy's neck?"

Leonard didn't say anything for a moment, simply putting his hand over his mouth and eying Sheldon. After a few moments, Leonard opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. After a few more false starts, he finally spoke.

"Do you think that maybe if you just kissed Amy, you might be able to concentrate?"

Sheldon stared for a moment, considering the question. "That question doesn't make much sense."

"Sure it does. The reason you're so distracted is because you want to kiss Amy. Maybe if you just kissed her instead of trying to resist all the time, you'd free up your mind to think of other things."

Sheldon considered this new information. It was an interesting theory. "But what if you're wrong? What if, instead of freeing up my mind, I become _more_ distracted?"

Leonard shrugged. "That's just a risk you'll have to take."

Sheldon sighed. "You know I don't take risks."

"Then you're stuck."

Sheldon frowned. "That's not very helpful."

"What can I say? Sounds like you want a risk free relationship."

Sheldon nodded. "Yes. That's exactly it. How do I make that happen?"

Leonard raised his eyebrows, giving Sheldon an incredulous look. "You don't."

"This entire conversation was useless."

Leonard shrugged. "Sorry."

Sheldon sighed. "It's not your fault. I should have known better than to ask a man who can't even learn to move on from the girl across the hall." Leonard rolled his eyes. "Which brings us back to the original purpose of this meeting."

"Great…" Leonard said.

Sheldon could tell by his tone that this was going to be a long night of negotiations.

* * *

As he lay in bed that night, trying and failing to fall asleep, Sheldon couldn't stop thinking about his conversation with Leonard, and his impending negotiations for hand holding with Amy.

Leonard's theory that if Sheldon simply indulged his (irritating) desire to kiss Amy that his distraction would go away was indeed intriguing. But what if it failed? He didn't think he could take further distraction.

Perhaps if he voiced this concern with Amy she would see his side and agree that further physical contact was a bad idea…or perhaps Amy would only be intrigued by the fact that Sheldon has been thinking about her at work. He sighed. And what was he going to do about the hand holding? As much as he was loath to admit it, all previous encounters and negotiations with Amy pointed to the fact that Amy was going to get her way.

Perhaps he should try a different tactic. Instead of evasion perhaps he should employ damage control. Maybe he could get Amy to agree to limited hand holding situations…

He was in the middle of thinking about possible parameters to introduce when a third option occurred to him. What if he didn't resist at all? His mind immediately recoiled and he swallowed. What if…instead of trying out his theory with kissing, Sheldon first tried it with hand holding. Perhaps if he engaged in frequent hand holding (gulp) he would no longer be plagued by distracting thoughts of Amy.

It still seemed rather risky, though. What if it changed the nature of his relationship with Amy entirely? He was happy with the way things were (kissing distraction aside). Why did Amy always insist on moving forward? And why did he always lose during these negotiations?

Why were women so complicated? Sheldon almost wished (almost) that he could discuss the situation with Missy…although he was fairly certain he knew how she would respond. She had said as much during their last conversation. "_Just kiss Amy."_

If only it were that easy…if only he didn't have to worry about the repercussions of such an action. He could lose his focus entirely on winning a Nobel Prize. He could lose his oldest friend by somehow failing at the relationship. He could catch the flu. Life had been much simpler when Amy had only been a pen pal and friend.

* * *

Sheldon stood outside Amy's door, looking at his watch. He still had two minutes to wait before their scheduled negotiation time, and for once in his life, he wished he could arrive early. He wanted to get these negotiations over quickly.

Of course, the negotiations would go smoother if he knew for sure what he was going to do. He had spent the last three days agonizing over how he was going to respond to Amy's formal request for hand holding. Would he decide to fight tooth and nail to avoid holding hands? Would he merely try damage control? Or would he give her free reign in the hopes that he regained his focus and could go back to eating red vines without picturing her lips? He had been vacillating between the three options ever since his bout of insomnia 3 nights prior.

He looked at his watch, noted it was time to officially arrive, and knocked thrice on Amy's door. She opened it with a smile, causing Sheldon's stomach to flip and his sense of foreboding to grow.

"Good evening, Sheldon."

Sheldon nodded and then walked through the door. "Hello."

"Would you like a beverage?"

"Water will be fine."

Amy walked over to the kitchen. "Please, have a seat. We can begin the negotiation process when I bring you the water." She glanced over at him. "Unless you would like to exchange pleasantries beforehand."

Sheldon shook his head. "No. I believe we should get the negotiations over with as soon as possible."

Amy nodded as she filled up his water glass. After handing it to him, she took a seat. Sheldon took a quick sip of the water, cleared his throat, and looked Amy in the eyes.

"I believe, as you are the instigator of today's negotiations, that you should open negotiations yourself."

Amy nodded. "Very well." She sat up straighter. "I would like to begin these negotiations by listing my request in full."

Sheldon nodded.

"I would like to request the ability to have free reign over when we hold hands."

Sheldon stared. It would appear they might as well not even _have_ a relationship agreement, if those were to be the demands. "Surely you jest."

Amy took a deep breath. "That is my opening request. What is your counter proposal?"

Sheldon took a moment to ponder the situation. There were so many variables to consider. For one thing, free reign to grab his hand whenever she wished could lead to a sharp increase in illness on both their parts, as they would be sharing a wide variety of germs. And of course, there was also the possibility that Sheldon would never feel comfortable around Amy, but instead always on his guard, waiting to be assaulted by her hand. Then there was the matter of his frustrating decrease in his ability to concentrate. Again he wondered if agreeing to more physical contact would make the situation better or worse.

And then out of nowhere a new thought occurred to him: did he _want_ to engage in further physical contact with Amy? His first instinct was to say no. He frowned. But then why was he always thinking about kissing her? He glanced over at the Mr. Spock action figure on Amy's desk. Obviously the best way to answer this question is to go over the facts in order to come to a logical conclusion.

Fact 1: He had been spending more time thinking about Amy.

Fact 2: This increase in thinking originated after Amy's prolonged kiss several weeks ago

Fact 3: His thinking seemed to be focused around kissing, i.e. physical contact.

Conclusion: He enjoyed Amy's kiss and indeed wanted further contact with her.

Sheldon blinked in shock for a moment. Naturally, he knew he had never _disliked_ kissing Amy, but it had never occurred to him that he _liked_ it. So far as he was concerned, he had always been neutral regarding the situation. Although, now that he thought of it…He glanced at Amy, who was waiting patiently, hands folded in her lap…he supposed he had been the one to kiss her first.

Good lord. The implications of this line of thinking were astronomical. For one thing, it could mean that Missy was right and that she had known his desires before he did. Oh the horror.

For another, this would mean that his life was no longer solely dedicated to science. Granted, he knew that his focus had shifted ever so slightly to allow time to be a boyfriend, but if he indeed wanted further physical contact with his girlfriend, then what happened to his scientific goals? What if he became like Leonard: a man only capable of derivative science rather than innovation? He shook his head ever so slightly. This could not happen. He could not give up on his life's goals.

So where did this leave him? He was already in a binding relationship with Amy; already bound to kiss her. What would hand holding do? Would it make things better or worse?

"Sheldon?"

Amy looked at him with concern and he began to wonder how long he had been thinking.

He took a deep breath, wondering if the next words out of his mouth were a wise or foolish course of action.

"Amy…I…would like to formally request a short recess in these negotiations. There are some things I wish to discuss that will greatly affect the outcome of these negotiations, but which I don't wish to discuss during the actual negotiation process…"

Amy's look turned to one of surprise. "Very well..." She looked at him expectantly.

Sheldon cleared his throat. "I have a concern I wish to discuss with you. As the person in my life, excluding family members, who has known me the longest, I think you will be able to help me solve the issue."

Amy smiled a bit and nodded. "Alright. What do you find troubling?"

Sheldon swallowed, unsure how to start the conversation, and again wondering if this conversation were foolish to have…then again, thus far in his life, Amy had given him no cause to mistrust her. She had indeed been a faithful friend throughout his life.

"Of late, I have been having…distracting thoughts." He glanced over at her quickly before continuing on. "Distracting in the sense that they have interfered with my work. I have been finding myself unable to focus entirely on my work and I fear that if the issue remains unresolved I will never realize my goal of a Nobel Prize in Physics which, I don't have to tell you, is very important to me."

Amy nodded in understanding. "Yes indeed. May I ask the nature of these thoughts?"

Sheldon froze, fearful of telling the truth. "I'd…rather not say. For the sake of discussion, let's say that the thoughts revolve around…playing a video game."

Amy stared for a moment, brow furrowed. "Ok…so, using your analogy, you are finding yourself distracted at work by thoughts of playing a video game, correct?"

Sheldon nodded. "Correct."

"And have you simply considered that if you just play the video game that the distraction will disappear?"

"Yes, I have. But I worry that by…playing the video game I will find myself _more_ distracted rather than less distracted."

"Hmm…" Amy put her head in her chin. "That is indeed a conundrum." She thought for a moment more and then said, "What if you try playing a different game. Perhaps it is not the actual game itself, but rather the thought of playing any video game which is distracting you."

Sheldon thought of the currently recessed hand holding negotiations. "That thought had crossed my mind as well, but what if playing another game doesn't help? Or worse, what if playing another game only serves to fuel my…desire to play the other video game?"

Amy nodded slowly, appearing to think. "I see…well, you could always think of it this way: _not_ playing the video game is most certainly distracting, therefore, even if the decision to play the video game does not alleviate the desire, you will not be any worse off than you are now."

Sheldon shook his head. "We don't know that. For all we know, I could play the video game and then become a crazy person obsessed with video games, completely forgetting about science altogether. And then I will fail at my job and I'll be fired and living on the streets with nothing more than my failed dreams of becoming a Nobel Laureate. Of course, I probably won't even notice because I'll be too busy thinking about playing video games to even care."

Amy blinked at him in shock. "What exactly does this video game represent?" Suddenly understanding dawned on her face. "You said that this conversation affected the outcome of these negotiations."

Sheldon started squirming. "Yes…but let's stay on topic shall we?"

"If this is indeed related our negotiations then I _am_ staying on topic." She gave him a look through eyes narrowed in curiosity. "Does the video game represent hand holding?"

Sheldon paused. If he said yes, he'd be lying. But if he said no, she would continue to dig until she had her answer…and it wasn't a complete lie…only a partial lie…but could he pull it off? He already felt himself twitching in response…Perhaps instead of a partial lie, he could tell a partial truth…

"In some ways…yes."

Amy frowned. "You think that by agreeing to hold my hand on a regular basis that you will suddenly forget about your dream of being a Nobel Prize Laureate? That's ridiculous."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "I resent that…but out of curiosity, why?"

Amy shook her head. "We've been friends since we were seven, and in the entire time I've known you, winning a Nobel Prize has been the driving force behind everything you do. I can't imagine you, in any universe, coming across _anything_ that would cause you to forget your life's goal, including me." Amy frowned. "I would never want to do anything which would get in the way of your goal…" She cocked her head to the side, "but Sheldon, why have you been fantasizing about holding my hand?"

Sheldon leaned back a little at the sudden turn in the conversation. Again he decided to go for a half truth. He frowned at her. "It's the ridiculously long kiss you gave me after you received all that jewelry. Even since then you have been popping into my head. So really, this is all your fault."

Amy raised her eyebrows in shock and then she grinned at him.

He frowned. "Stop it." He felt his lips start to turn upwards as well, and tried to stop himself. "Stop it, Amy. This is no time for smiling." Amy's grin widened. "This is serious! My relationship with you could be completely derailing my scientific future and all you can do is smile?"

Amy shook her head again, still smiling. "The only thing that is derailing your scientific future is you and your refusal to give in to your desire to hold my hand."

Sheldon's almost-smile was wiped off his face at that. "You don't know that," he said quietly, still worried about the implications of indulgence in his desires. His eyes caught sight of the Mr. Spock action figure again. Not to mention such indulgence would be illogical.

Amy turned around suddenly, following his line of sight to the action figure. She turned back around. "You're trying to live your life by how Vulcans live, aren't you?"

Sheldon didn't answer, but looked back at Amy.

"Vulcans aren't real, Sheldon." He started to open his mouth to give an indignant response, but Amy held up her hand. "I'm not saying that thinking logically isn't a wise way to live one's life…but even Vulcans got married, had children, et cetera."

Sheldon blinked in shock. "You're right." He frowned. How strange that Amy should point out to him something he had never really thought about before. It was true that his beloved _Star Trek_ character never himself got married…but how else did Vulvans procreate? And that's not to mention the blood lust of pon farr every seven years. Sheldon snorted derisively at the thought. Maybe he was better off as a human, after all…

And maybe Amy was right…about the hand holding that is. Perhaps he should just agree in the blind hope that it solved his distraction problem. He certainly wasn't succeeding by _not_ engaging in physical activity.

He took a deep breath and looked at Amy again. "I'm ready to continue our negotiations."

Amy looked surprised but then nodded and gesture towards him. "Very well. Proceed with your counter proposal."

Sheldon shifted, placing his hands on his knees. "I agree to your terms with the following provisions. A, one party must ask for permission prior to grabbing the other party's hand. B, the request may be denied, but reasons must be given and agreed upon. C, the agreement to hold hands must be unanimous. And D, hand sanitizer, or a thorough hand washing, must be used prior to initiating contact."

Amy paused for a moment and then nodded, smiling again. "Agreed."

Sheldon let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Very well, I'll draw up the necessary paperwork and get it to you before we leave for Meemaw's birthday party."

Amy nodded again. "Thank you…and Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

She sat up a bit straighter. "I'd like to request permission to hold your hand."

Sheldon frowned, caught off guard at the sudden request. "We are ill prepared. Neither of us has washed our hands…"

"I have a sink. And you always keep emergency hand sanitizer with you."

Sheldon bit his lip. He would have to do this sometime…he _had_ agreed after all…but what if it didn't work? What if he still spent all his time fantasizing about Amy rather than solving the mysteries of the universe?

But what choice did he have? He had just agreed to the terms.

He sighed. "Very well…but let us go wash our hands first."

They got up and walked into Amy's bathroom, taking turns washing their hands. Sheldon made sure to thoroughly dry his and was pleased to see that Amy took care to do the same. Then they both walked back out into the living room and sat down.

Amy held out her hand. Sheldon stared at it for a moment. _This could solve all your problems_…_or increase the severity of them._ Sheldon looked back up at Amy, who raised her eyebrows. "Really Sheldon, we've been kissing for months. I don't see why holding my hand is such an issue."

He sighed. That was because she only knew part of the story. He swallowed hard. It was now or never. He just hoped that the contact alleviated his desire to kiss Amy rather than increased it.

He reached out and grabbed her hand, his skin tingling upon contact. He looked up at Amy's smile and sighed.

Drat.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please leave a review. :)**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Thank you again for the reviews. I really appreciate each and every one of you who take the time to review. :)**

**Chapter 32**

Sheldon clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He hated flying. He had tried to convince Amy and Raj to take the train to Galveston, but both had rejected the idea, stating it would take too long. So instead, he had been forced to be manhandled by a security officer at the airport who had been convinced that the Mexican Peso in his nose was a bomb, despite Sheldon's insistence that it was the result of childhood bullying. And then he had found out too late that he had been given the middle seat on their flight and that Raj wasn't even sitting with him and Amy. Luckily Amy had been kind enough to switch with him so that he had the aisle seat, but then the flight attendant had been clumsy enough to hit his elbow with the beverage cart not once, but twice.

And now, after three extremely long hours, in which Sheldon had had to pee for two, they were quickly plummeting towards the runway in a foolhardy attempt to land safely.

"Sheldon?"

Sheldon, head leaning against the back of the seat, turned his head towards Amy, who had her hand out.

"I would like to request hand holding."

Sheldon looked down at her hand and then back up at Amy. He was getting ready to make his case for saying no when the plane suddenly dipped several feet and he reached out, instinctively clenching Amy's hand. He nodded his head quickly before turning back to face the front. He felt Amy pat the top of their clasped hands with her other hand.

"It'll be fine, Sheldon. It was just a bit of turbulence."

Sheldon looked back at her. "We could die."

"Actually at this altitude, we'd be more likely to survive. Pilots know how to land a plane during a crash."

"Fine. Then we could be caught in a mangled, fiery tube of near death."

"Planes take off and land several hundred, if not several thousand, times per day. We are more likely to be in a car accident than we are to be in a plane crash."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "That does not mean we won't be. Statistically speaking, perhaps not, but someone has to be the person in the plane crash. And how do you know that that won't be us?"

Amy shrugged her shoulders just as there was a bump, during which Sheldon yelped and grabbed his armrest with his free hand.

"Because we have already landed," Amy said with a smile on her face. Sheldon looked back at Amy and then gulped and unconsciously licked his lips at her smile.

He quickly let go of her hand. Despite his experiment, holding Amy's hand had only served to hinder his efforts to avoid kissing her, rather than helping it. What was worse was the fact that he was no longer sure he _wanted_ to prevent himself from kissing her. Amy's strong belief that, no matter what, Sheldon would never stray from his dreams of grandeur had taken root in his mind and had been growing with each passing day.

He turned his attention to getting their carry-on luggage down from the overhead bins. Even if he was wavering on his insistence to avoid kissing Amy, a public airplane was not the time to do it.

After exiting the plane, he and Amy waited for Raj to de-plane as well. As he sauntered up to them, Sheldon pressed his lips together in irritation.

"How do you expect me to be ok with you dating my sister when you can't even speak to her without being inebriated?"

Raj waved a hand. "Relax dude, I can talk to your sister just fine."

"What?" Sheldon and Amy both stared at Raj. "Since when?"

"Since forever, dude. We've been texting and emailing for months."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "So you haven't actually been speaking with her with your mouth?"

"Oh…" Raj shook his head. "No. But we're making real progress. Once, I was able to make a squeaky noise."

Sheldon snorted derisively and turned around to start walking towards the airport exit. "Yes, that's quite the progress."

As they were walking down the stairs, Sheldon felt a hand grab his. He stopped on the stairs, Raj bumping into him, and looked down in surprise, seeing that it was Amy who had grabbed it.

"You didn't ask permission," he said, automatically.

She looked up at him. "I merely assumed that since we had been holding hands on the plane, that the permission to continue to do so would remain."

"And you don't think we look dumb?"

"On the contrary, I think we look like nothing more than two people in a romantic pair bond."

Sheldon processed this for a moment before he nodded and then continued walking, secretly enjoying the feeling of Amy's petite hand in his. Now that his worry of changing was ever decreasing, he was finding himself secretly enjoying contact with Amy more and more.

"Shelly!"

Sheldon looked up to see Missy waving her hand. Sheldon sped up, nearly dragging Amy behind him.

"Good lord, Missy. There is no need to make a scene."

Missy looked at their clasped hands and then over to Amy, raising her eyebrows. "And I guess I don't have to ask how _you_ are Amy." Sheldon frowned at her wink, but before he could respond, Missy walked around and said in a voice that made Sheldon cringe, "Raj! How's my little slice of chocolate cake?"

"Just waiting for the addition of a whole lot of sugar," Raj said in his slick Indian voice.

Sheldon snorted. "Alright. That's enough of that, you two." He let go of Amy's hand and stood between the two horn dogs.

Missy rolled her eyes. "Shelly, what have I said about trying to be Daddy?"

"And what have I said about that ridiculous statement?"

"Perhaps we had best go to baggage claim," Amy interjected.

Sheldon opened his mouth, but Amy grabbed his hand again and gently tugged it. "Come on. You know that if we aren't there for the beginning arrival of the bags, we run the risk of someone walking off with our belongings."

Sheldon sighed and nodded. "You're right, of course." He glared at Missy and Raj one last time before turning around and walking hand in hand with Amy towards baggage claim.

After claiming their bags, which thankfully were among the first to appear, the four of them made their way to Missy's car. Sheldon gritted his teeth the entire drive home, knowing how Missy would respond should he mention her abysmal driving. _She's almost as bad as Penny,_ he thought as he clutched at both Amy's hand and the handle above the window next to his seat.

As they gathered their bags and walked up the stairs into Sheldon's childhood home, he was suddenly greeted by a most welcome sight.

"Is that my Moon Pie?"

Sheldon immediately dropped his bags and pulled Amy with him towards Meemaw. He let go of Amy's hand when he reached Meemaw in order to allow Meemaw to hug him, as she always did. And as she had since he was a child, after the hug she held him by the arms at arm's length.

"My my, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you must have grown."

Sheldon looked down at his tiny, white haired Meemaw. "Meemaw, you know that is impossible. I haven't grown so much as a millimeter since I turned twenty."

Meemaw smiled up at him, patting one of his arms. "Then maybe your Meemaw is just shrinking."

Sheldon gasped. "Have you not been taking your calcium supplements like I told you to? You know that if your bone density doesn't remain consistent that you're likely to get osteoporosis, which could lead to minor fractures in your spine causing you to shrink!"

Meemaw merely chuckled. "Don't you go worrying about your Meemaw, Moon Pie. She's been doing just what she was told." Meemaw looked over at Amy, who had been watching the exchange with a smile on her face.

"My word, you have to be Amy Farrah Fowler."

Amy smiled. "Hello…" Amy looked up at Sheldon and then back at Meemaw. "I'm sorry. I'm not sure how to address you."

Meemaw smiled at her. "You can call me Meemaw." She squeezed Sheldon's hand. "Moon Pie won't mind." In fact, if it had been anyone else but Amy, Sheldon would have minded a great deal. But as it was due to Meemaw that he had remained friends with Amy in the first place, it was only fitting that Amy refer to her as Meemaw as well. Sheldon nodded at Amy.

Amy smiled back at Meemaw. "Very well. Hello again, Meemaw."

Meemaw held out her arms. "Come give Sheldon's Meemaw a hug, dear. It's ever so good to see you."

Amy shyly stepped forward as Meemaw wrapped her arms around her. When she pulled back, Meemaw held Amy at arm's length just as she had Sheldon.

"My word, aren't you just the picture of your younger self." Meemaw made a tisking sound. "Are you sure you're not still seven."

Amy smiled. "While I know that you are merely being facetious, I appreciate it all the same. Thank you. And may I say that you are looking particularly spry for a woman of nearly eighty."

Meemaw looked over at Sheldon and winked. "I like this one, Moon Pie. You did a good job by hanging on to her."

Sheldon smiled and felt his cheeks grow warm. He heard a snicker behind him and turned around to glare at Missy.

Missy raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"I heard you snicker."

Missy put on a face of mock innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about. I couldn't agree with Meemaw more." She winked at Meemaw, to which Sheldon frowned, and then tugged Raj forward.

"Meemaw, this is Raj."

Raj stepped forward with both arms open and proceeded to give a surprised Meemaw a big bear hug.

"Good lord, Raj," Sheldon interjected. "The woman is nearly eighty years old. Don't suffocate her."

Meemaw started chuckling as Raj let her go. "Oh now, Moon Pie, he didn't suffocate me." She looked at Raj and smiled warmly. "I like a man who isn't afraid to show a little affection." Sheldon squirmed uncomfortably, while Raj returned Meemaw's smile. "And it's very nice to meet you, young man." Meemaw tapped her lips, suddenly looking thoughtful. "You look like a man who is going to take good care of Missy."

Raj vigorously nodded and then smiled at Missy, swinging one arm around her waist. Sheldon wondered why Raj wasn't talking. Perhaps he had not had enough alcohol after all…He frowned at the pair of them before picking up his bag and saying, "Perhaps we should go inside. It'll be dark soon."

Meemaw nodded and began walking up the stairs, the four of them trailing behind her.

As they entered the dwelling, Sheldon smelled the delicious scent of fried chicken. He dropped his bag by the door and walked brusquely into the kitchen. When he got there and confirmed that his mother had indeed made them fried chicken, he walked over to her.

"Hi, Mom," he said.

Mary turned her head and then set down her tongs, wiping her hands on her apron. "Well, hello there, Shelly," she craned her head around Sheldon, "Amy, Raj. I didn't hear ya'll come in. Must have been the crackling of the chicken. I hope you brought your appetites."

Sheldon nodded. Even if he wasn't hungry, he would have found room for his mother's fried chicken.

"Did ya'll have a nice flight?"

"It was awful."

Sheldon felt a hand on his arm and looked down at Amy. She addressed her statement to Mary. "The flight was satisfactory. We had a bit of turbulence towards the end, and there was a mix up with our seating which did not afford Raj the right to sit next to us, but aside from those small details, we have no complaints."

Mary started chuckling. "Lord bless you, Amy. I may know many a way of getting Shelly to pipe down, but I can't say I've ever done it with just a simple touch."

Sheldon merely stared at his mother, shocked at her statement, while everyone else in the room, including Meemaw started laughing. He looked down at Amy, who smiled up at him, causing his stomach to swoop uncomfortably, reminding him of his ever more present urge to kiss his girlfriend. But now was not the time either. They were surrounded by his family, after all…and he still wasn't sure he was entirely comfortable with the idea yet, of course…

Mary asked Sheldon to set the table while Missy showed Raj and Amy where they would be sleeping.

After they had put their bags in their respective rooms, everyone rejoined Sheldon and Mary in the kitchen to enjoy a hearty southern meal of fried chicken, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes with gravy, green beans, and large glasses of iced tea.

Not long after dinner, Meemaw retired to her room for the evening, claiming that old ladies like herself never stayed up past seven o'clock anyway. Missy and Raj went for an ill advised walk in the dark, and Mary turned on the television to catch her favorite Thursday evening program.

As everyone else settled in to their respective activities, Sheldon looked at Amy. "Perhaps we had best vacate the living room, unless it is your dearest wish to lose a few IQ points by watching this ridiculous so-called reality program."

"Shelly, don't be sassy," said Mary, not looking away from the television. "Just take Amy out onto the porch and be done with it."

Sheldon looked at Amy, who nodded. He walked out the door and then held the screen door open for Amy to join him. As he was closing the door, Amy made her way to the porch swing and sat down.

Sheldon frowned. He didn't like porch swings. He had never liked porch swings. He went and stood next to it as Amy swung slightly.

"Do you remember the last time we sat on this swing?" Amy asked, looking up at him in the dark.

Sheldon stared, surprised to have forgotten such a memory…although he supposed that could be due to the slightly traumatic nature of the memory. He _had_ been about to lose his best friend at the time. He nodded at Amy and then went to sit down next to her, looking out into the darkness, vaguely hoping that no vagabond was waiting in the bushes to attack them.

"Yes. It was when you told me that you were going to move away."

They sat in silence for a bit, Amy continuing to rock the swing ever so slightly. Sheldon swallowed as he realized they were alone. In the dark. He felt Amy reach over and grab his hand.

As if anticipating his question she said, "We were holding hands earlier. I merely assumed as before that it would still be ok."

Sheldon swallowed and then nodded.

They went back to swinging slightly in silence.

With no light except the faint glow coming from the television set in the living room, Sheldon's other senses were heightened. He could hear the slight breeze rustling the leaves in the trees and the cicadas making their awful night time racket. He could smell the faint hint of apple, which he assumed was Amy's shampoo. And he could feel just how soft Amy's skin was, against his own. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"Amy?" he asked quietly.

"Yes?"

Sheldon paused a moment, considering his next words carefully. "Did you mean what you said about me never giving up on my dream no matter what?"

He could see Amy's head turn towards him, but it was too dark for him to see her eyes. "Yes, of course. I'm surprised you would even wonder about such a thing, to be honest."

Sheldon remained silent, feeling encouraged by Amy's conviction that he wouldn't change.

"Why _did_ you think such a thing?"

Sheldon shrugged in the darkness. "From the moment I went to college I saw peer after peer fail to reach their full potential, however low in comparison to my own, all due to their insistence on pursuing females. It was beyond stupid."

He saw Amy nod. "And so you worry that should you choose to pursue a physical relationship that the same would happen to you?"

Sheldon sighed. "Yes."

"Well, as I said before, Sheldon, that is ridiculous."

He frowned. "Why is it ridiculous? I'd say it is a very valid worry."

"It's ridiculous because you are you. Sheldon Cooper, theoretical physicist; a man who's sole goal in life is to win a Nobel Prize. I am quite confident that no matter how far we take our relationship, that will not change. And one could also say that the very fact that you are worried indicates that you will never fall prey to the same vices as others before you."

When she put it like that, it made so much sense.

Sheldon felt his heart start beating faster as he contemplated his next move…which was ridiculous. What did he have to be nervous about? He and Amy had kissed several times. They were now holding hands.

Perhaps he should just forgo the situation. Their relationship was fine as it was, with Amy always initiating kisses. He sighed, however, as he recalled his distraction at work; his inability to eat Red Vines without picturing Amy's lips.

He swallowed again and then cleared his throat. "Amy?"

"Yes?"

Sheldon turned his body towards her a little more. "I…would like to try something."

"Alright."

Sheldon was happy that he couldn't see her face…although that would make hitting his target a little more precarious…

Before he quite knew what he was doing, Sheldon put both hands on either side of Amy's face. He could feel her eyebrows shoot upwards, but she said nothing. He took a deep breath and then exhaled quickly before lowering his head and pulling her face towards his. His lips tingled on contact. He started to pull away but Amy suddenly put her hand on the back of his head and pulled him forward again.

Sheldon's heart hammered in his chest the longer they sat there kissing. He dropped one hand from her face to her shoulder, before snaking it around to her back to pull her closer to him.

"Well, well, well. And just what do we have here?"

Sheldon pulled away immediately and stood up, feeling his cheeks grow warm from embarrassment.

Missy started laughing. "Oh, don't let us interrupt you, Shelly. We'll just go ahead and go inside. You two just stay here and…talk."

Sheldon heard Amy chuckle as Missy and Raj headed inside. He was grateful for the darkness so that Amy didn't have to witness his embarrassingly red cheeks. He walked over to the other end of the porch, trying to collect himself. Drat, Missy! Why had she not walked up a few moments earlier or later? Now he would have to endure endless teasing from her…

"Sheldon?"

Sheldon jumped, having not noticed that Amy had walked up right behind him. She grabbed his hand again and looked up at him in the darkness. He didn't know what to say, still feeling flustered at having been interrupted in such a state by his sister.

"Let's go inside, shall we?"

Sheldon let out a breath, not realizing he had been holding it, and nodded, grateful that she had chosen not to mention what had just happened.

Sheldon swallowed and closed his eyes briefly as they walked towards the front door, one thought repeating itself in his mind.

_What on earth had just happened?_

**A/N: Thank you again for reading. And if you feel so inclined, I'd love to hear from you. To quote another great writer, Marisol: "Save a plot bunny; leave a review". ;)**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: So, I sort of had a bit of a personal meltdown with this fic, which is why it took so long to update. But now that I've got that all resolved, this thing should move forward at a much more normal pace. :) Also, I'm glad this is an AU fic, because since I started this thing nearly 9 months ago (!) Sheldon has changed so much that I wonder just how relevant this Sheldon is. Oh well! :)**

**Chapter 33**

Sheldon lay in his childhood bed, his feet reaching to the very end, and stared at the ceiling, thinking. Much to his surprise, he had fallen asleep the previous night almost the moment his head hit his childhood pillow, and when he had awoken, his kiss with Amy had been the first thing to pop into his mind.

When he and Amy had gone back inside after Raj and Missy had interrupted them, Sheldon had braced himself for teasing, but Missy hadn't said a word. Instead she had merely nodded hello at him from the couch she and Raj were sharing with Mary. Missy had not yet missed an opportunity to mock Sheldon where his feelings for Amy were concerned and the fact that she said nothing was both disconcerting and a relief. He narrowed his eyes now as he wondered why she had given up the opportunity for mocking. It wasn't like her and he suspected foul play was afoot. Perhaps she was merely saving her mocking for the larger audience at Meemaw's party.

He and Amy had spent the rest of the evening playing chess in the kitchen, Sheldon sneaking glances at Missy the entire evening trying to figure out her game, with his old _Lord of the Rings_ inspired chess set. He had created the pieces himself when he was twelve, and had admittedly had very few opportunities to play with anyone else. Amy also had not mentioned the kiss, nor the fact that they had been interrupted. Sheldon had been loath to bring it up himself, being unsure of his feelings on the subject, but surprisingly the evening had not felt entirely awkward.

Sheldon frowned thoughtfully. In fact, now that he was thinking about it, he had felt, and still felt, strangely relieved. He realized now, after doing a quick mental check on himself, that his muscles were much less tense than they had been for the past several weeks, and that his mind was clearer. He was no longer consumed with the thought of kissing Amy. Fascinating.

As he pondered this fascinating, albeit also baffling, bit of information, he looked up at the accurately arranged glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on his ceiling, and suddenly frowned as a thought occurred to him. He sat bolt upright, feeling his mind immediately run into overdrive, leapt out of bed, and headed for his closet. He quickly pushed aside an assortment of old clothes and suits and grabbed the whiteboard that was leaning against the wall in back. He pulled it out, along with the small box of whiteboard markers, hoping they hadn't run dry in the intervening years since he had last used them, immediately set it up in the middle of the room, and began writing furiously, impatiently trying to replicate the unfinished equations he had left on his whiteboard back in Pasadena. Every so often, he would scribble a thought on the side, so that he wouldn't forget it, before going back to his original set of equations. As he wrote, ignoring the cramping in his hand, his excitement grew. He had been struggling with this equation for _months_ and had been on the verge of solving it for several _weeks_, and yet here he was, in Galveston, Texas, of all places, frantically trying to write as fast as his brain was working.

He didn't know how long he had been working, having lost all track of time, when he heard a knock on his bedroom door.

"Sheldon?" It was Amy.

Sheldon excitedly ran over to answer the door, an enormous smile on his face. "I did it, Amy!"

Amy looked at him in confusion. "Did what?"

He walked back over to the board and pointed. "I solved the equation!" He looked back at her expectantly. "Do you realize what this means?"

Amy raised her eyebrows. "I believe you said that if you solved this then you would potentially be able to explain why gravity is so much weaker than other forces like electromagnetism." She looked at the board. "Sheldon that's wonderful." She smiled at him, making his stomach flutter.

He ignored the flutter and nodded furiously. "Yes! But Amy, you don't understand." He used his marker to point at the board. "This equation, assuming I haven't made any errors, which of course I haven't, will almost assuredly get me a Nobel Prize!" He walked over to her and, in his excitement, gave her a hug.

Sheldon felt Amy stiffen and let go with a gasp, immediately looking down at the floor. "I'm so sorry, Amy," he said in monotone, his former excitement draining out of him as he realized he had just violated his girlfriend's personal space without following proper protocol.

"Sheldon-" she started to say.

"I let my excitement hinder my better judgment."

"Sheldon-"

"I promise not to let such a thing happen again in the future-"

"Sheldon!"

He looked up, surprised to see Amy smiling at him. "I propose an emergency Relationship Agreement meeting."

Sheldon blinked, unsure what was about to happen. "Ok…"

Amy's smile widened. "I propose an immediate revision of the Relationship Agreement to include hugging." Sheldon opened his mouth to reply, but Amy held up a hand. "The revision would include guidelines previously outline in our first two revisions, including prior agreement by both parties, and the right to refuse." Once again Sheldon opened his mouth to respond, and once again Amy held up her hand. "Additionally, I would like to add an addendum to our agreement which states that in moments of extreme excitement, such as the receiving of good news or the completion of one's life work, it is ok to forgo the asking process prior to physical contact. That way, such moments may not be hindered by formal proceedings, but will also still be within the guidelines of the agreement."

Sheldon snapped his mouth shut and thought for a moment. On the one hand, he could see nothing wrong with Amy's proposals. On the other hand, a part of him cringed internally at the thought of yet more physical contact. Things seemed to be moving awfully quickly. Last night he had kissed her and then this morning he had hugged her without thinking. What was going on? He frowned as he realized that the thought of further physical contact didn't bother him in the slightest. In fact, he actually liked the succinct nature of both of her proposals as it seemed to cover more bases than the original agreements did, and would therefore let him off the hook for his momentary lapse…This was most usual thinking for him.

He snapped his eyes back to her, making a quick decision, and nodded once. "Very well. I accept."

Amy's grin grew even larger, though how he had no idea, as it already nearly stretched across her entire face, and she took a quick step forward, wrapping her arms around him. "Per our new addendum, I'm hugging you because I'm overjoyed at your discovery and the new addendum," she said into his chest.

Sheldon froze for a moment in shock before wrapping his arms around her, lightly patting her back, and marveling that the contact did not disturb him. He frowned. This was a very strange morning.

Exciting, what with his discovery, but strange.

* * *

Sheldon's strange morning turned into a strange day, which then extended into a strange weekend. He kept waiting for Missy to mention his kiss with Amy, to tease him, mock him like she always had. Instead, she acted as if nothing had happened. Of course there was a chance that she was so distracted by Raj that she simply forgot about Sheldon's late night foray into so-called game of tonsil hockey – without involving the actual tonsils, of course – but given the truly disgustingly saccharine way in which she and Raj acted, Sheldon wasn't sure that situation was better than one in which his sister was taunting him.

The day after Sheldon, Amy, and Raj arrived, more family members joined them. In the afternoon that second day, Sheldon's older brother George arrive with his wife and two screaming children. While Sheldon certainly did not have a natural aversion to children – usually his feelings were indifferent – George's children were different. First of all, they were terrors, ripping through the house screaming every chance they got, despite Sheldon, Missy, George, Alice (George's wife), Mary, and Meemaw's attempts to quiet them. Secondly, they seemed intent on sneezing and coughing directly in Sheldon's face whenever he was within close proximity. In fact, they did this so often that he began to wonder if they were doing so on purpose. And thirdly, as the house became even more cramped, after the arrival of Sheldon's Uncle Chip late that second night, Sheldon was forced to give up his bed to the children, thus sharing a room with the hellions, while he slept on an air mattress on the floor of his own room, despite his repeated insistence that the children should be the ones to sleep on the floor. After a single night on the so-called mattress, he was thankful he and Amy had decided to only stay through Sunday, otherwise he would be seriously concerned about the damage to his spinal alignment.

Somehow, the day of the party, it became Sheldon's job to watch his hellion niece and nephew while the others, including Amy and Raj, were out helping to prepare the venue located in the middle of a park close to Mary's house, while Meemaw went out shopping with some friends that had come into town for the occasion. This meant that, despite Sheldon's attempts to get the children to engage in a variety of appropriately quiet and thought provoking games, such as his original Nintendo Legend of Zelda or his Lord of the Rings Chess set, he, instead, spent the entire morning and half the afternoon being shot at with foam darts, nerf balls, silly string, and/or water from a veritable arsenal of water guns. After the first hour of the assault, Sheldon had tried to retaliate, thinking perhaps he could pretend he was engaging in a game of paintball, by grabbing his old Super Soaker water gun and letting loose, but only managed to make his niece, Allison, burst into tears the moment her shirt got wet. When he tried to point out the illogical behavior of crying just because your shirt got wet, his nephew, Andrew, rushed him, kicked him in the shin, and told him to shut up and leave Allison alone. The moment Sheldon yelled "Ouch!" and started hopping on one foot, both Allison and Andrew burst into giggles and then ran off, purposely hitting the pillows off the couch on their way into the kitchen. Thus, Sheldon gave up, sat on the couch and played Legend of Zelda for the remaining three hours, trying to ignore the foam dart/nerf ball/silly string/water gun assault constantly launched in his direction.

Sheldon was just on the verge of killing Ganon with the silver arrow, and thus completing the game, when he was interrupted by Mary's exclamation of "My house!" quickly followed by "Sheldon!" Without taking his eyes off the game, he opened his mouth to reply that he was almost done with the game, when the controller was yanked from his hand and the television turned off. Sheldon looked over at Mary, ready to yell in frustration when his eyes caught site of the living room. Instead, all he managed to say was "The house is a mess." It seemed that while he had been intently ignoring the children, who refused to play correctly, they had run amuck, tossing vases of flowers on the floor, spraying silly string all over everything, and throwing pillows around the room. And that's not to mention the foam darts and nerf balls that were littering the floor.

As a result of the mess and his comment, Sheldon endured no less than ten solid minutes of yelling by his mother, as George scolded the children and Alice then ushered them out of the living room, apologizing to Mary, to which she responded that if it was anyone's fault, it was Sheldon's. Amy tried to come to Sheldon's aid, for which he was grateful, but Missy pulled her and Raj out of the room before Mary had a chance to respond. It wasn't until Meemaw came through the door and kindly asked Mary to stop yelling at her Moonpie that Mary threw up her hands and stalked into the kitchen.

Sheldon then turned to thank Meemaw for the rescue, but was instead met with Meemaw's gentle reprimand for failing to watch the children as he had been asked to do. Sheldon's mouth dropped at this, having expected Meemaw to understand his point of view. As he tried to explain why he had failed to watch the children, Meemaw instead gently pointed out that he was now over thirty years old, to which Sheldon crossed his arms and pursed his lips.

"Oh now, Moonpie," Meemaw said sitting down next to him. "Don't be angry with your Meemaw."

Without looking at her, or changing his position, Sheldon replied, "I'm not angry with you Meemaw, but I do think it's unfair that you aren't taking my side." He looked over at her. "You've always taken my side." He looked back to the front and continued. "I tried to keep the rascals under control but they simply ignored every attempt to engage in civilized play. I'm the one who was wronged in this situation."

"Oh, my dear boy, that's where you're wrong," Meemaw said.

Sheldon whipped his head around with a gasp. "What on earth do you mean I'm wrong?" He uncrossed his arms. "I can't believe you'd say that!" he cried.

"Allison and Andrew are only three and four years old, Sheldon. It was up to you to make sure they didn't get into trouble. If they didn't want to play quietly inside, you could just as easily have taken them out into the back yard to play."

Sheldon's mouth fell open at this and he merely blinked at Meemaw. This was the worst day ever.

Meemaw smiled at him and patted his arm. "How are you ever going to raise a family of your own if you can't even take care of your niece and nephew?"

Sheldon heard a slight buzzing in his ears as a shock wave passed through him. After several false starts, he finally said, "Raise a family?" He hoped that Amy wasn't listening in the hallway.

Meemaw chuckled. "Of course," she leaned in, "I've seen the way you look at that girlfriend of yours."

Sheldon frowned at this. "Just how do you think I look at Amy?" He couldn't imagine what Meemaw was talking about. In fact, this entire conversation had him metaphorically twisted around and upside down. Meemaw never talked to him like this. Mary was always the one to try telling him he needed to change, to grow up. Meemaw had always said she loved her Moonpie just the way he is.

Meemaw smiled, with a twinkle in her eye. "Well, like you love her of course."

Sheldon recoiled in shock. He did not like this new side of Meemaw at all. "Why would you say such a thing?" he asked, feeling a slight panic arise in the middle of his chest and yet again hoping that Amy was not within earshot.

Meemaw raised her eyebrows. "Don't tell me it's not true."

Sheldon blinked and swallowed, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. In truth, he had never given the subject much thought. Feelings were for hippies. What he and Amy had was a mutually beneficial intellectual relationship with a few romantic elements tossed in to appease Amy's menstrual hormones. Unwanted, the memory of his own preoccupation with kissing Amy and the resultant front porch kiss entered his mind. He swallowed again and stood up.

"I don't like this conversation," he said, suddenly angry. He had never been angry at Meemaw in his entire life. "I did nothing wrong and there is no reason for me to change my behavior." With that he stalked out the front door and down the stairs, walking in a random direction down the street.

He didn't pay much attention to where he was going, too lost in thought, when he suddenly found himself standing outside the fence of the currently empty elementary school play yard. He immediately remembered a seven year old Amy holding out her hand and introducing herself, and sighed, exasperated.

He stood for a few minutes thinking about seven year old Amy. She had been his best friend.

She still _was_ his best friend. And his girlfriend.

Whom he had kissed.

He frowned. When had all this happened? Up until a few months ago, Amy had merely been his childhood friend. When had that changed? When had he decided he wanted to kiss her?'

Well that was just it. He hadn't decided he wanted to kiss her. In fact, he had done everything in his power to resist kissing her.

So why had he?

Sheldon blinked as his thought process came to a screeching halt.

"Sheldon?"

Sheldon whipped around in surprise to see Amy standing several feet away, looking at him with a slight frown on her face. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Sheldon blinked at her, unsure how to answer. Was he alright?

No. He wasn't. Little more than twenty-four hours prior he had made a significant discovery in his research, and yet here he was pondering why he wanted to kiss Amy.

_Correction_, he thought. Why he _had_ wanted to kiss Amy.

He sighed. Except that at the moment, the former present tense was true, not the latter past perfect.

This was extremely frustrating. He should be spending his free time pondering the implications of this new development in his work rather than this new development in his relationship with his friend and girlfriend.

"Sheldon?"

He opened his mouth to speak. "Meemaw scolded me," he said, completely unaware that that was what he had been about to say, yet also thankful that it was. "She's never scolded me before."

Amy took a few steps closer and nodded in a manner which Sheldon thought indicated sympathy to his plight.

He stared a moment as a new thought occurred to him. "How did you know where I was?"

Amy averted her eyes, clearing her throat, and clasping her hands together in front. "I followed you."

Sheldon blinked. "Why did you follow me?"

"I wanted to make sure you were ok," she replied simply. She looked up then. "I'm sorry you and Meemaw had a fight," she said quietly.

Sheldon sighed. "Yes. I am too. It's quite baffling. Meemaw has always taken my side in the past."

"What did she say?"

Sheldon thought back to the conversation and averted his eyes from Amy, looking down at his hands and clearing his throat. "To summarize the conversation, the mess that the children made was indeed my fault and I should have taken them outside to play, rather than giving up when they refused to play quietly."

"Hmm. Yes that does seem to have been the prudent course of action."

Sheldon looked up with his mouth open, unable to believe that now _Amy_ was taking Mary's side against him.

"However," Amy continued, "It would also have been prudent for George and Alice to raise children who knew how to obey. I don't recall ever behaving in such a fashion with my own parents."

Sheldon closed his mouth as relief flooded him. Finally someone saw his side.

He nodded. "Yes. I couldn't agree more."

Amy smiled at him and nodded her head once. "Perhaps we should get back. It will soon be time to attend the party and your mother seems to think that your current attire is not party appropriate."

Sheldon looked down at himself. He was wearing what he always wore and didn't see why it was considered inappropriate. It's not as if the party were a fancy affair. Surely a party which served hot dogs didn't deserve more than trousers and a t-shirt.

When he looked up, Amy had her hand out. As if anticipating his question, she said, "I'd like to hold your hand on the return journey."

Sheldon swallowed as he thought of Meemaw's assertion that he looked at Amy like he loved her, before pushing it firmly to the back of his mind and resolutely taking Amy's hand, which he couldn't help but notice felt unusually comfortable in his. It wasn't until they had been walking for several minutes in silence that Sheldon even realized neither one had taken the time to properly sanitize their hands. And what's more, he wasn't bothered. Yes, these past few days had been very strange.

**A/N: As always, thank you for reading! :)**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Sheldon sat, grumpily looking at his many relatives doing an awful job at the ridiculous "chicken dance", wishing he were anywhere else. He hated parties, even when they were for Meemaw, and this one was no exception. He had had to endure the horror of fending off hugs and handshakes from a plethora of distant relatives, many of whom he hadn't seen since he was 10 and they had thrown a sixtieth birthday party for Meemaw, and then listen to all the women in his family screech like hawks and cluck like hens at the introduction of Amy as his girlfriend. It was enough to make a sane person crazy.

"Sheldon," Amy said, sighing, "Perhaps it would help if you were to give dancing a try."

Sheldon gave Amy a look he hoped conveyed just what he thought of that idea. "I have no desire to give the hens in this family more to cluck about."

Amy rolled her eyes. "I don't see what it matters. It is impossible to stop gossip from flowing, Sheldon. I can all but guarantee you that if you choose to continue slighting me in the dancing arena that the so-called 'hens' will merely cluck about your failings as a boyfriend."

Sheldon sat up straight, feeling indignant. "Slighting you? Failings as a boyfriend?" He crossed his arms. "Amy Farrah Fowler, you take that back."

Amy's expression softened. "Sheldon, you are the best boyfriend." Her expression hardened and she crossed her arms as well. "But you are most certainly slighting me by refusing to dance with me."

Sheldon held up an index finger. "I'm not refusing to dance with _you_, Amy. I'm refusing to dance period."

Amy sighed. "Sheldon, what was the point of your mother forcing you through Cotillion if you don't use it when the opportunity arises?" She looked at him pointedly. "And just what would your Cotillion teacher say at your behavior today?"

Sheldon also sighed, though his was a sigh of defeat. "Fine." He grumpily stood up and stalked to the center of the room, not waiting to see if Amy were following. He knew his teacher would be yelling at him if she saw that he had not taken her hand and led her out, but after the day he had had, he felt like throwing caution to the wind. He had not yet had a chance to speak with Meemaw, Mary was still angry at him for allowing her house to become a mess, George had had the gall to shake his head disapprovingly at him as he had stalked towards the car when they had left, both Allison and Andrew had sneezed in his face as they had entered the car, and Missy still had yet to tease him about his kiss with Amy, which continued to figuratively set his teeth on edge. And that's not to mention this business of Meemaw believing he was in love with Amy and that he would one day sire children, which apparently he would do a terrible job at raising.

Sheldon scoffed and he held out his hand for Amy to grab. Thankfully the chicken dance was over, so he needn't worry about making a complete fool of himself. Unthankfully some retched pop song had come on, and the bulk of the party-goers were flinging themselves about in an unruly fashion. Sheldon refused to participate in such an ungainly display. There was a cha-cha beat in here somewhere and he intended to use it. And why on earth were they playing pop music at Meemaw's party? Sheldon pulled Amy into a ballroom stance and began dancing. Shouldn't they be playing something more suited to her tastes, like Frank Sinatra? After this song, Sheldon intended to have a word with the DJ, who incidentally was a former fifth grade classmate of his.

_I can see that he has finally found a skill more useful than that ridiculous Bachelor's degree in English mother informed me he has._

As he cha-cha'd Amy around the dance floor, he glared over at Raj and Missy. They seemed to be taking part in the ritual flinging associated with songs like this, and he didn't like it. Raj had his hands on Missy's waist, which she seemed to be swaying to the music. He couldn't believe their mother didn't say something about the unseemly nature of their relationship. His dancing took them out of his view, so he flung Amy out in a spin so that he could whip his head back around and continue glaring. As Amy came spinning back, he put his hand back on her back and narrowed his eyes over her head as he noticed his cousin Susan whispering with Uncle Chip and pointing directly at him and Amy. He whipped Amy around so that his back was facing them.

_When will this blasted song end?_

As often does, Sheldon's train of thought abruptly changed direction.

_What on earth did Meemaw mean that I look at Amy like I love her?_ He found this accusation equal parts baffling and irritating. Suddenly, his prior train of thought, which had halted itself outside of the elementary school, continued on, as if no time had passed, the way thoughts often do.

_I simply felt the urge to kiss Amy because she has completely desensitized me to the sensation,_ he rationalized._ This is all her fault. I should never have agreed to let her kiss me in the first place. _He frowned down at Amy, surprised to see that she was looking up at him, her eyes wide. He snapped his head back up and threw her out into another spin.

_AMY IS MERELY MY FRIEND!_ he shouted at himself. Amy twirled back in, stumbling a bit and bumping into Sheldon's chest. Unbidden, he felt his breath catch as he quickly rearranged her back into proper dancing formation and continued dancing.

_This is the song that never ends._

He continued his train of thought. _Amy is my friend _and_ girlfriend. How on earth did that happen?_ Sheldon thought back several months to the arrival of Amy and then felt his mind halt again at a sudden unwelcome realization.

_I was the one who kissed her first. I was the one who asked her to be my girlfriend. I was the one disliked her being at a wedding with Leonard instead of myself – as well I should._

Just then the song ended and Sheldon, dance training kicking in, dipped Amy, only then really looking at her. Her hair was so long, and the dip so deep, that it nearly touched the floor. Her eyes were wide and she was breathing quickly. Sheldon swallowed and then quickly stood up straight, bringing Amy back up with him. He dropped his hands and started to walk away from the dance floor, only then noticing that he and Amy seemed to have been dancing alone, surrounded in a circle by his family, immediate and distant, who were now clapping and whistling. He paused in shock and then continued walking briskly back to his seat. He sat down and crossed his arms, still in a bad mood.

Amy soon joined him, as did Raj and Missy.

"Lordy Shelly, where'd you learn to dance like that?" Missy asked, unceremoniously flopping down in the seat next to Amy.

"Yeah, Sheldon. I've never seen you dance like that," added Raj as he sat down next to Missy. "And I've seen you dancing on a bar before."

Sheldon pressed his lips together and looked away. "Missy, you know very well that Mother insisted we go through Cotillion training."

Sheldon waited, bracing himself for the inevitable teasing that was sure to come his way via his sister's mouth. Instead, Missy leaned forward a bit and said "Well, you looked good."

Sheldon threw up his hands and stood up, glaring down at Missy. "Alright. I've had enough!" he said.

Missy recoiled in shock and said, "Shelly, what on earth are you yelling about?"

Sheldon gestured towards her. "You! What's wrong with you?"

Missy looked at Raj and Amy, both of whom shrugged. "Sheldon, I haven't got the faintest idea what you're talking about."

Missy never called Sheldon but anything but Shelly. It only incensed him further. "You're not acting like yourself. You never compliment me, and you never give up the opportunity to tease me." He leaned down and whispered loudly, "You haven't even mentioned the fact that you and Raj interrupted Amy and I kissing. What is going on?" he hissed. He pointed at her. "Are you planning something? Am I going be humiliated in front of the entire family? I refuse to be subject to your games!"

Missy glared at him and stood up, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him towards the door.

"Stop man-handling me!" Sheldon insisted as he was dragged forward, helpless against her vice-like grip on his arm. Missy didn't let go, but continued walking quickly towards the door to the outside. Once they were out there, she let go of him and whipped around to face him.

"Shelly," she started. Sheldon braced himself for a verbal onslaught. "I'm sorry."

Sheldon blinked in shock for a few moments before frowning. "What?"

Missy took a deep breath and then exhaled. "The reason I didn't tease you about kissing Amy, or say anything to the family, was because Raj told me not to."

Sheldon stared for several seconds. "Why would Raj tell you not to tease me?"

Missy looked down at her hands, and Sheldon frowned. This was highly unusual behavior for her. "He might have pointed out that it was a mean for me to tease you so often."

Sheldon continued to stare, quite unable to process what Missy was saying. Since when was Raj his advocate? The man had been party to several attempts to undermine him during their years of acquaintance.

"And then," Missy continued, "After you went to bed, Amy came in and begged me not to tell anyone what we had seen. She said she had already talked to Raj and he had agreed."

Sheldon opened and closed his mouth several times before finally saying, "Why did she do that?"

Missy looked up at him and smiled. "You know Amy has always looked out for you. Don't you remember how she used to stick up for you against me when we were kids?"

"But…why do either one of them care? They've never stopped you before this," Sheldon replied. "In fact, I recall them both laughing every time you teased me."

Missy shrugged. "I don't know. But both of them said I should give you a break."

"So that's why you've been so nice?"

Missy nodded and then slapped him on the arm. "Not that you're making it very easy, being in such a nasty mood."

Sheldon frowned. "It's not my fault that everyone keeps yelling at me."

Missy raised her eyebrows. "Well, maybe everyone would stop yelling at you if you lifted a finger to help once in a while."

Sheldon crossed his arms. "I watched Allison and Andrew, did I not?"

"No, you didn't. You played your video game while you let them run around all over the place, making it look like a tornado had hit the house." She poked a finger at his chest. "You need to start growing up Shelly. You're not a kid anymore."

He scoffed. "Now you sound just like Meemaw."

Missy crossed her arms. "Well maybe you should listen."

"How can I listen when I don't even know what everyone is talking about? I have multiple degrees in Physics and I am currently conducting research at a university in Los Angeles. I even have a girlfriend. I fail to see what about my life is child-like."

"Oh yes, because it's so mature of you to act like Amy has cooties."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "Cooties aren't a real disease. But Amy most certainly does have bacteria. Everyone does, which is why I avoid touching people whenever possible."

"You didn't avoid kissing Amy two nights ago."

Sheldon gave Missy a look. "I knew you wouldn't be able to keep yourself from teasing me."

Missy stamped her foot. "For Pete's sake, Shelly, I'm not teasing you! I'm pointing out a fact, since facts are what you're always going on about." She flicked Sheldon on the side of his head and he cried out in pain.

"That was uncalled for!" he yelled, rubbing the spot and looking at her indigently. "I'm telling Mom."

Missy sighed. "Oh yes, Shelly. Because that is so very mature of you to do."

Sheldon opened his mouth and then snapped it shut. "I don't care. There was no reason for you to do that. And might I point out that it wasn't very mature of _you_ to flick me on the side of the head."

She rolled her eyes. "Hasn't it ever occurred to you Shelly, that if everyone is telling you the same thing, that maybe you're the one in the wrong?"

Sheldon blinked once before replying, "No. I have a much higher IQ than anyone so the logical conclusion is that I'm in the right."

"Well, you're not."

"I reject that statement."

"Reject it all you want," she said, poking him in the chest again, "but that doesn't mean you don't need to do some growing up. Amy is crazy about you and you, whether you want to admit it or not, are just as crazy about her. If you do something stupid and end up losing her, I'll never forgive you."

Sheldon recoiled. "How would I do something stupid to lose her? Amy and I have been friends nearly our entire lives and I'm very fond of her. Amy understands me better than anyone else, including you, no matter how much of a know-it-all you think you are. She doesn't put undue pressure on me to be someone I'm not. She has always liked me just as I am and I like her just the way she is."

Suddenly a voice spoke up behind him. "Sheldon, that's beautiful."

Sheldon whipped around to see Amy standing in the open doorway. He turned back around quickly to look at Missy. "Did you do this on purpose?"

Missy shook her head. "I didn't know she was there, I promise."

Amy walked around to stand next to Missy. "Please don't be angry with Missy. She's telling the truth."

Sheldon looked from Amy to Missy and back, unsure what he was supposed to say. He had never made such declarations to Amy before, and was a disconcerted at having her overhear it.

Missy cleared her throat. "I believe I'll just go back inside and see if Raj wants to dance." She walked away quickly, leaving Sheldon and Amy alone.

Amy looked at him steadily. "Did you mean what you said?"

Sheldon blinked a few times before responding. "Yes." Then he frowned. "Surely you knew that I was fond of you."

Amy nodded. "Of course, but it's always nice to hear it spoken aloud." She smiled at him. "I'm fond of you as well."

They stared at each other for a few beats before Amy spoke again. "Sheldon, I'd like to ask you a question, and I'd like your promise to tell the complete truth."

Sheldon felt a moment of dread and paused before saying, "Alright…"

Amy cleared her throat and clasped her hands in front of her. "Do you find me physically attractive?"

Sheldon merely stared.

Amy went on. "I mean, I am confident that you enjoy my company and it is painfully obvious that we are suited for each other on an intellectual level. I simply wondered if you thought of me any differently than your other friends."

Sheldon thought for a moment. Did he find Amy physically attractive? He had honestly given it no thought. Amy was Amy. She was his dear friend, the one person, aside perhaps from Meemaw, whom he trusted the most.

He thought back again to those first few days after she had arrived in Pasadena. He thought of the ridiculous dating website and the near perfect match. He thought again of getting drunk at the bar, quoting _Romeo and Juliet,_ and kissing Amy. He thought of spending a fortune in jewelry because he didn't like her being angry with him. He thought of his complete preoccupation with kissing her these past few weeks. He thought of Meemaw saying that he looked at Amy like he was in love with her. There was no doubt that he was fond of Amy. But did he find her attractive?

After several minutes without an answer, Amy visibly withered and started to walk away. "Never mind, Sheldon. It's unimportant."

"Wait." Sheldon reached out and touched Amy on the shoulder to stop her, and then sidestepped so that he was in front of her again. He swallowed and looked around to make sure they were alone, taking care to look inside the door. They were right in front of it, so he pulled Amy by the shoulders a couple of steps, to avoid prying eyes. He inhaled and exhaled quickly, looking directly at Amy's now curious eyes. After another quick glance to confirm their solitude, he quickly leaned down and kissed Amy on the lips, his hands still on her shoulders. When he pulled away, Amy opened her eyes slowly and then blinked several times.

"Amy Farrah Fowler," Sheldon said, "I find your appearance very pleasing." He paused for a moment and then added, "And I shall give myself a strike for failing to request your permission to kiss you first."

Amy looked at him seriously. "I believe we can let you off with a warning this time."

Sheldon removed his hands from Amy's shoulders and took a step backwards. Amy looked up at him.

"I have a confession as well."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "Yes?"

Amy stood up straighter, raising her chin. "I too find your appearance very pleasing."

Sheldon stared a moment before nodding once and saying, "Alright then."

"Now that it is settled that we are both fond of each other and find each other attractive, would you care to rejoin the party?" Amy asked. She smiled up at him and held out her hand. Sheldon paused only momentarily before nodding and taking the proffered hand.

As they were walking through the door, Sheldon heard the music stop and a sudden tapping sound, as if someone were tapping a microphone.

"Excuse me. Is this thing on?"

Sheldon, recognizing the voice, looked to the middle of the dance floor at Raj. What on earth was he up to? He looked at Amy but she merely shrugged at him.

"I believe I have met most of you," Raj said, "but in case you don't know me, my name is Rajesh Koothrapali and Missy is my girlfriend." He looked over at Missy, who was standing a few steps away, looking shocked. "From the first moment I met Missy, I could see that she was a vibrant and beautiful woman. What I didn't know then was that underneath she was also deeply caring. For those that don't know, I have…a bit of a problem speaking to women without alcohol, but that never stopped Missy from believing in me. And that's why I'm here now to say," Raj suddenly dropped to one knee, pulling a box out of his pocket, causing several family members to gasp and Sheldon to look at Amy in confusion, "Melissa Cooper, will you do me the great honor of being my wife?"

**A/N: Thank you so so much for the reviews on the last chapter and for reading this one. We're pretty close to the end, so prepare yourself. I believe there are 1-2 more chapters left. Thanks again for reading! :)**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Once again, I profusely apologize for the delay. I kept getting hit with writer's block. And since they say that writer's block is caused by something that's not working, I wrote and deleted at least 3 different half chapters before finally ending up with the version you're about to read. I hope you enjoy it. :)**

**Chapter 35**

Sheldon lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. This entire trip home was a disaster. Though he had not expected a trip home to be any better than mediocre, he had at least thought he could count on both Meemaw's and Amy's support when dealing with the rest of his family members.

He sighed as he thought of Missy and Raj, now engaged. He simply could not fathom why he was the only one who saw why it was a bad idea. How could they possibly be compatible when Raj had to drink alcohol every time he was around her? When he had said as much to Amy, rather than agree with him, she had stated her intent to help Raj overcome his selective mutism. When Sheldon had pointed out that it would likely interfere with her already established study, Amy had said she would do the work in her spare time, pro bono, as her wedding gift to the couple.

Having decided that Amy was a hopeless case, Sheldon had then run immediately to Meemaw, profusely apologizing for Raj's interruption of her party, and explained that he planned to give his supposed friend a thorough talking to. But rather than thank him for his chivalry, Meemaw had told him she could think of no better birthday present than to have her granddaughter getting engaged.

_Why am I the only logical person in this world?_ he thought, grumpily.

As he pondered the answer to this question, there was a knock on his door.

"Moonpie?" Meemaw asked. "May I come in?"

Sheldon curled his knees up against his chest and considered, for one brief moment, refusing Meemaw. But as he could never do that, he simply sighed loudly and said, "Yes, you may."

His door opened and Meemaw came in. She shut the door behind her, and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed, reaching out a hand and placing it on his shoulder. "Why don't you tell your Meemaw what's troubling you? You've been outta sorts since you got here."

Sheldon contemplated his answer for several moments. His knee-jerk response was to say that it wasn't him who was out of sorts, but everyone else, but as this was Meemaw, he actually paused to reflect on the past few days.

He looked up at her. "Why is it that no matter what I do, everyone is angry with me?"

"Oh, now," said Meemaw, smiling at him, "I don't think everyone is angry with you. I'm not angry."

Sheldon raised his head. "You're not?"

Meemaw gave him a shocked look. "Heaven's no!"

"But earlier today you disagreed with me," he said.

She patted his shoulder. "Disagreeing is not the same as being angry."

"But you've always defended me in the past," he said, now sticking his lip out in a pout.

"Moonpie," Meemaw began, speaking more seriously than Sheldon had ever heard her speak, "I will defend you until the day I die against people who are trying to turn you into something they want you to be rather than who you are. But when who you are is a man who's grown up and making a living all his own, studying the wonders of this great wide universe, and you can't even be counted on to help give your mamma a break, you can bet I'm gonna let you know you've done wrong."

Sheldon simply stared. Being reprimanded by Meemaw was, until today, unprecedented, and he had no idea how to react.

Meemaw chuckled. "I'm also not gonna let you go on pretending that you don't love that Amy of yours." Sheldon opened his mouth to respond but Meemaw shook her finger at him. "I know a boy in love when I see him. Your Pop Pop looked at me like that back in our courting days." She put a hand on Sheldon's cheek, which he resisted pushing away. "I know you like to play at pretending you're an evolved species," she winked at him, "but if you want that species to continue you're gonna have to get married and start giving me some great-grandbabies."

Sheldon sat up in shock, mouth open and brain buzzing. While Sheldon had considered the need to procreate – use the sanitary measures of his local in vitro lab – marriage was not something he had ever remotely considered for himself.

Then again, he had never expected to be involved in a relationship, with Amy or anyone.

Before he could stop himself, he wondered how Amy felt about the subject of marriage.

"Now," Meemaw patted his shoulder again and then stood up, "how about I'll go tell everyone you're doing fine and to leave you alone and you think on that a little while."

Meemaw walked to the door, and was just about to open it, when Sheldon found his voice again. "Meemaw?" he asked uncertainly

She turned around to look at him, and he considered just saying nevermind.

"Yes?"

He took a breath, feeling completely out of his element. "Do I really look at Amy the way that Pop Pop looked at you?"

Meemaw's expression softened. "You sure do." She looked off into some unknown distance and smiled before looking back at him, winking, and walking out the door.

* * *

Sheldon spent the next several hours puzzling out his conversation with Meemaw. He only left his room to eat dinner, and only because he didn't want to have to deal with the gastronomical repercussions of skipping a meal, but remained quiet the entire time, not even bothering to raise a fuss when Allison dropped her half eaten roll in his lap. After he had eaten a sufficient amount to ensure that he would be able to keep his bathroom schedule on track, he went back to his childhood bedroom and resumed thinking, despite Amy's request for another night of chess playing.

He had spent the past several hours going between lying on his bed, circling his room, staring at his white board – while not really paying attention to his equations – and was now sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the blue carpet. Though he knew he had more important things to think about, such as how he was going to convince both Raj and Missy that their engagement was a fool's errand or what his next steps were regarding his new discovery, but all he could focus on was Amy and this predicament Meemaw had made him aware of.

When his phone started buzzing, he jumped, frowning and looking at the clock, seeing that it was 12:34 in the morning. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at it, wondering who would be texting him at such an hour.

It was Amy.

Though it was not unheard of for them to exchange emails, or even telephone calls, in the middle of the night, Sheldon was surprised nonetheless. He opened the text.

_I apologize if I am waking you, but I am having trouble sleeping and wondered if you were also awake?_

Sheldon paused for a moment. Given his current train of thoughts regarding Amy, he was hesitant to begin a conversation with her. He was still unsure of a great many things.

He thought for several minutes, and then decided that if there was anyone besides Meemaw he could talk to it was Amy. He texted back, _As luck would have it, you find me awake as well._

After sending it, he frowned and texted again. _Please disregard my previous use of the phrase "as luck would have it". As you well know, I don't believe in luck and don't know what I was thinking._ All this thinking about love and marriage had most definitely affected his logical mental faculties.

_I completely understand,_ Amy wrote. _You are out of sorts._

_Indeed I am,_ he returned. And because he was still upset that she had not backed him up about Raj and Missy he added, _Though you did very little to help me._

_I see you have resumed blame shifting all your problems. I won't take it personally._

Sheldon frowned at his screen. _Blame shifting? What on earth have I blame shifted?_

Sheldon waited for a reply, and after several minutes, his phone buzzed again.

_I realize this is outside the realm of proper southern decorum, but I feel it is best._

Sheldon stared at his screen, wondering how that response was an answer to his question, when there was a knock on his door. He looked up, surprised, getting out of bed, and walking over to answer the door to find Amy standing in front of him, in her pajamas.

"I felt it was best," she whispered, "if we were to continue our conversation in person. I hope you don't mind my entering your bedroom in the middle of the night."

Sheldon paused for a moment to consider. Had this happened as little as twenty-four hours prior, he wouldn't have paused for very long before stepping aside and motioning her in. But given his recent train of thought, he was feeling more uncomfortable than usual about having Amy enter his bedroom. Reluctantly he motioned her inside, closing the door and walking back over to his bed to sit down. Amy looked around for a seat and then looked at Sheldon.

"May I sit on your bed?"

Sheldon opened his mouth to say no, but then realized he found himself in between a metaphorical rock and hard place. His mother, should she find out, was likely to figuratively, and perhaps even literally, tan his hide for allowing his girlfriend in his bedroom in the middle of the night. But at the same time Amy was likely to be insulted should he choose to ignore the manners they both knew he had by refusing to allow her a seat when one was available. After reflecting on this conundrum for several seconds he merely slumped his shoulders and sighed, saying "Fine."

Amy walked over and sat down, a good three feet away from him, placing her hands on her knees and then turning slightly to face him. "Sheldon, may I ask what has been bothering you?"

He opened his mouth to reply that her question in no way answered his previously texted question, but, given that he doubted he would enjoy the answer, he instead replied with, "You may ask, but I cannot guarantee an answer."

Amy gave him a disapproving look, and he started fidgeting.

"You'll have to be more specific," he said, hedging for time to think.

"I'm not sure how much more specific I can get when the question speaks for itself, but I'll give it my best shot," she replied. "Ever since we have arrived here you have been rather…" she tapped her chin for a moment, and then looked him squarely in the eye and said flatly, "bitchy."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Language, Amy."

"With that in mind," she continued, ignoring his reprimand, "what is the root cause of this behavior?"

Sheldon frowned as he thought through the question. While he disagreed that his behavior constituted the B word, there was no denying that he was in an exceptionally bad mood. Meemaw had even asked him the same question several hours before – although he was doing his best to forget about the second half of their conversation at the moment, so he simply replied, "I am not behaving any differently than I usually do, and yet everyone takes every opportunity they have to pick on me."

"Sheldon," Amy began, "I have been present from the moment we stepped off the plane until now, and I have yet to see anyone picking on you."

Sheldon's mouth dropped open and he looked at her, eyes wide. Amy's response reminded him of Meemaw's. "How can you say that? I have been treated unfairly the entire time we've been in Galveston."

Amy stared at Sheldon a moment. "May I state an observation?"

Sheldon nodded impatiently. "Of course."

Amy hopped a little on the bed so that she was more directly facing him. "I believe you may be expecting people to be picking on you, when in fact, they are merely trying to get you to act like an adult."

Sheldon stared. "What do you mean 'act like an adult'? I've been myself for the entirety of our trip."

Amy sighed. "Yes, and I believe that is the very problem. Sheldon, I'm afraid that you have to let go of the past." Sheldon opened his mouth to respond, but then snapped it shut, thinking. He eyed Amy, as she continued. "We are all adults now. I, better than anyone, understand that your childhood was rife with the rejection of your peers and, to an extent, your family members. However, that is now many years in the past, and while everyone else, including myself, has moved on, you seem determined to see nothing but ridicule in every comment your family makes."

"But they are constantly making fun of me!" he protested.

Amy shook her head. "I believe you are mistaking 'making fun of' with teasing. Take Missy for example. It has been my observation that she is merely engaging in the form of jesting which is meant to be taken as love. She has stated to me on more than one occasion that you are much too serious. I believe that her constant banter, or teasing, is her attempt to establish a friendly, sibling rapport with you, while also attempting to get you to loosen up your overall demeanor."

Sheldon looked away, thinking through what Amy was saying. He went through the events of the weekend, including his conversation with Missy at Meemaw's party, prior to her ill-advised engagement to Raj. Was Amy correct? Was he merely misinterpreting good natured jesting as something more devious?

He looked at Amy and said the only thing he could think to say. "Huh." He frowned as he replayed Amy's response in his head, one part in particular standing out. "Do you agree that I am too serious?"

Amy blinked several times before responding with a simple. "No." They looked at each other in silence, Sheldon still contemplating everything Amy had said. After several moments, Amy spoke again. "Despite what others may think of you, I have always believed, and likely will always believe, that you are one of the most fun people I know."

Sheldon cocked his head to the side. "Really?"

Amy nodded, smiling at him. "You are the person who came up with the initial idea for Counter Factuals after all."

Sheldon nodded. "That is true." He felt himself start to relax, despite himself. It was strange how Amy's presence had the ability to cause him to relax. Again Meemaw's assertion that he loved Amy entered his mind. He cleared his throat, his muscles tensing again at the thought, and looked away, starting to fidget.

Amy cocked her head to the side, like he had, and asked, "What's wrong?"

Sheldon pursed his lips to one side as he thought how to answer the question. This business of being in love or not being in love seemed like a lot of mental exertion that he frankly didn't like. Just earlier in the day – or yesterday, as it was now past midnight – they had declared their mutual fondness. Surely that counted as a love declaration. Once again he replayed all the strange moments that had occurred since Amy had arrived in Pasadena, and came to a single, unwanted conclusion: he had been the instigator of nearly every single one of them.

He gave Amy a sidelong glance and saw her patiently waiting for him to answer, her hands folded in her lap. What was wrong, indeed? What was wrong was that everyone assumed that he loved Amy - a notion he would never have thought himself capable of - and he wasn't entirely sure they were wrong. Meemaw knew him better than anyone, save Amy. She had always been the person he could count on to understand him when everyone else in his family insisted he was crazy. If she said he was in love, was it possible that he was? And if he was in love, was it a terrible thing?

Ah yes, that was the question. And his initial answer was, of course, yes it was a terrible thing. Throughout the course of history, in nearly every story, love had been the purveyor of destruction, from the likely mythological Trojan War, to the cuckolding of King Arthur, to the very _Romeo and Juliet_ he had drunkenly quoted to Amy.

In contrast to that, those who chose a life without love were often those who made great advances in science, from the likes of Archimedes to Leonardo Da Vinci – though Sheldon disliked that such an inventor and scientist had wasted so much of his time on the arts.

Then again, both Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking had married and look at all they had accomplished – although Sheldon did wonder how much more they could have accomplished had they not been thus distracted.

And then there was no denying that if Sheldon were ever to have chosen a mate with which to fall in love with, Amy would have been the only logical choice. He was comfortable with her, she knew his habits, and was one of the few people who truly understood him, even if it led to his constantly losing battles against her. And, as he had recently discovered, he found her appearance pleasing to the eye and seemed to frequently find himself wanting to kiss her. Though he put little stock in such physical things as appearance, he supposed it was worth mentioning in this sudden quest to discern how he felt and why.

He sighed. This was silly. All this thinking of feelings was clouding his judgment. He was a man who always knew how he felt. Such as simple question demanded a simple answer. Did he, or did he not, love Amy Farrah Fowler? And if he did, was it a terrible thing?

Despite his fear that the answers he knew to be true would change things, he could no longer deny that the answer to the questions were undeniably Yes and No.

He frowned. The second answer came as a surprise to him. Surely he must have it wrong…

He glanced over to his whiteboard, seeing the recent work he had done, and realized that it had been due to his finally giving in to his desire to kiss Amy, rather than fight it, that had led to his discovery. Perhaps if he were to stop resisting so much, he might free up his mind for other such advances in his research.

His mind halted at such a novel, and unwanted, thought.

If this was his logical train of thought, then did it stand to reason that this was also what he wanted? How strange. And yet, as he came to this conclusion, he felt his muscles start to relax. Perhaps admitting to love wasn't such a bad thing…at least if it was admitting he loved Amy.

Huh. Meemaw was right after all.

Sheldon turned himself to look fully at Amy. "Amy, I have a confession, one I hope that you will be able to forgive the sentimental nature of. I have just reached an interesting conclusion about myself which involves you."

Amy raised her eyebrows in surprise and then nodded her head. "Very well."

Sheldon sat up straighter, holding his chin high, and clearing his throat. "Amy Farrah Fowler, I love you."

Amy's mouth dropped open and she gave a slight gasp. Sheldon nodded. "Yes. It has come as quite the surprise to me as well." He then proceeded to recount certain aspects of his thought process which had led him to the conclusion. He didn't want Amy to get the wrong idea that he was merely being led by his emotions. He wasn't a hippie after all. He wanted to make it perfectly clear that it was the only logical course of action that he should have fallen in love with her, as she was obviously the perfect person for him to have fallen in love with. As he recounted his thoughts, Amy eventually closed her mouth, nodding along in places, agreeing with his conclusions. When he was finished, he folded his hands on his knees.

"What are your thoughts on my conclusion? Do you find any holes in my logic? Please tell me, because I'm as baffled as you seem to be at the conclusion, and don't wish to continue believing myself in love if that is not the case."

Amy started to talk but her voice came out high pitched and warbled. She cleared her throat and tried again. "No. I believe you make a very sound case for your love." Sheldon watched as a smile spread across her face. "As you have made your confession, I believe now is the time for me to do the same."

"Oh?" Sheldon raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Sheldon Cooper, I love you as well."

Sheldon blinked at her a moment, trying to absorb the information and make sense of it. Although, if it was logical that he love Amy, then it was equally as logical that Amy should love him. "When did you come to this conclusion?" he asked.

Amy tapped her chin. "I believe it was around the time we had our falling out at age thirteen."

Sheldon choked. "What?"

Amy shrugged her shoulders. "Charles Caleb Colton said it best: Friendship often ends in love."

"Why did you never include me in this discovery?" Sheldon asked, feeling indignant. After all, he had informed Amy immediately when he had made his discovery of love.

Amy shrugged her shoulders again. "As you did not seem to share my feelings of love, it seemed silly to inform you. It would likely have led to the eventual dissolution of our friendship, as you had no desire to be friends with a girl who would have taken the slash out of our boy slash friend slash girl slash friend status. I simply did not wish for that to happen. Regardless of whether or not you shared my romantic feelings, you were still my best friend."

It was hard to argue with that logic. Sheldon nodded his head. "Very well. I accept that your logic is sound, but retain my right to be indignant." He crossed his arms.

Amy looked like she was hiding a smile. "Of course."

Now that all had been revealed, Sheldon was unsure of what to do next. It was still the middle of the night and he and Amy had a flight back to Pasadena in the morning.

As he was thinking through this, Amy suddenly leaned forward, throwing her arms around him in a hug. Taken aback, it took Sheldon a few minutes to return her hug by loosely wrapping his arms around her. In love or not, he was still unused to physical contact, though not quite as averse to it as he once was. Just as he was on the verge of asking Amy how long she planned to keep him in a vice grip, she pulled away. But rather than sit back as he expected her too, she instead leaned forward once again and pressed her lips to his. Sheldon blinked several times rapidly in shock before his eyes closed and he started to allow himself to enjoy the moment. Just as he was getting used to it, Amy pulled away, smiling brightly at him.

"I apologize for the lack of warning, but per our most recent addendum, I was overcome with emotion." She looked at Sheldon's alarm clock. "And as it is now very late, and as we have resolved all issues – assuming you are going to stop acting like a grouch for the remaining seven hours we will be here – I should return to my bed and get some sleep."

Before Sheldon could for an answer, Amy quickly walked to his door. Before she walked out, she turned around. "I love you," she said, smiling.

Sheldon sighed, rolling his eyes. "Yes. Fine. I love you too."

Amy's grin widened and then she turned around and walked out the door.

It didn't occur to him until later that he would most definitely have to have a Relationship Agreement addendum added or else he would be saying "I love you" for more often than necessary.

He should have known, all those years ago, that this would be the sort of thing that would happen when making friends with a girl…

* * *

_A few years down the road_

"Uncle Shelly!"

A tiny jam-covered hand tugged on Sheldon's pants. He sighed, grabbing a napkin and scolding the little two year old. "Mala, please remember to clean your hands after eating."

"Uncle Shelly!" Mala continued undeterred by the reprimand. She jumped up and down, holding up two objects in her hand. "Misser Sock an Bahbee in wuv!"

Sheldon looked down at his niece, the product of Missy and Raj's union, and frowned. "Mala, Mr. Spock does not fall in love. He's far too logical for that. And if he did, he most certainly wouldn't fall for the likes of a blonde bimbo like Barbie."

As she often did when Sheldon tried to engage her in civilized conversation, Mala started giggling. "Yeah, huh! See?" She smashed the action figure and doll, grossly disproportionate in size, together so that their faces were touching. "They kiss!"

Sheldon began ruing his decision to let Mala play with his Mr. Spock action figure. It was technically an antique, and having Mala besmirch Mr. Spock's reputation with the likes of Barbie was abhorrent. He was in the middle of a long explanation of why Mr. Spock and Barbie could not possibly be mates when Amy and Missy walked through the door, having returned from Amy's dress fitting.

Despite both his and Amy's desire to have a simple courthouse wedding, they had been threatened by both his and Amy's mothers and Missy that should they do that, there would be H, E, double hockey sticks to pay. And thus, Amy had found a – so she said, as he was not allowed to see it – simple, elegant, and – most importantly – cheap wedding dress to satisfy the desire of their female family members to have a full wedding and reception.

"Shelly," Missy said, "What on earth are you telling my poor darling girl?"

Amy walked over and sat down next to Sheldon, looping her arm through his. "I was merely explaining why Mr. Spock and Barbie could not possibly be in love."

Missy rolled her eyes and walked over, smiling at Mala. "Darlin', is Uncle Shelly being uppity?"

Mala didn't answer, but instead ran over, yelling "Mama!" and threw her arms around Missy's legs. When she let go, she held up the two dolls. "Misser Sock an Bahbee in wuv, mama!" She smashed the action figure and doll together again with such force that Sheldon winced, hoping his action figure was not being mangled by the pointy-nosed Barbie.

"They sure are, Darlin'," Missy said.

"Missy," Sheldon began, "Please don't perpetuate the lie-"

"Sheldon," Amy said. "Given that Mala is only two years old, I think it would be best if we let her engage in make believe as she sees fit." Sheldon opened his mouth. "I won't hurt the reputation of the fictional Mr. Spock to be considered in love." She sat up straighter. "Besides, in some universes, Mr. Spock _did_ fall in love."

Sheldon sighed, defeated again by Amy's logic. Indeed, if one took the work of J.J. Abrams as valid canon, Mr. Spock had fallen in love, in an altered timeline and universe.

**The End**

* * *

**A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for reading this work of fanfiction. Today is about 3 weeks shy of a year since I started writing this, but I've finally finished it. I cannot thank you all enough for the love this fic has gotten, and for your eternal patience as I battled through multiple cases of writer's block. This particular story was difficult to write, mainly because the point was to see how the characters of Sheldon and Amy would be changed (and how they would be the same) by having, not just a childhood friend, but each other. I hope, after the long wait for this final chapter that I did it justice and that the story met any expectations that you had. I have no further plot bunnies at the moment, but you can bet that as soon as I get them, I'll be seeing you again. In the meantime, I'm going to say yet again, Thank you for reading. This fandom is just a joy to write for. You rock! :)**


End file.
